Dizzy: "...featuring my pet cruiserweight, FROGGY
Feb 15, 2007 3:19:40 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 15, 2007 3:19:40 GMT -5
7/17/05
Scene open: A beach, and OG-FPD Joshi Champion, Dizzy, dressed for fun in the sun in a two piece orange bikini... she walks towards the camera, and thusly, along the coast, the tide drifting in and soaking her feet up to her ankles - she pulls a pair of sunglasses from her eyes, perching them carefully upon her head, the brown hair pulled back into a single ponytail.
[Dizzy:] Hi, I'm Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto, and you might remember me from such OG-FPD Pay Per Views as "Darkness Falls," "Murderer's Row," or "Debbie Has Two Mommies, Three Daddies, and a Goat!"
And, as much fun as I had educating the youth of America, portions of Alaska and the large island of Hawaii in wrestling with heart, passioin, and the importance of learning how to accept people with differing family situations, I'm here to speak about the OG-FPD Joshi Championship; perhaps the SINGLE most prestigious championship women have to compete for in any promotion in the history of ever, THE HISTORY. OF EVER!
And, I've asked for my next challenger to be Haley Cannon, that I have! But it turns out she was the number one contender anyways! EEP! So, Haley, I'm sorry for freaking out and demanding you be the number one contender when I should've realized that you already are, the number one contender to the greatest joshi championship in the HISTORY OF EVER, the OG-FPD Joshi Championship, which is greater than the PW-Wild Joshi Championship, and DEFINITELY better than McLanahan Pro's "Globally Honored Pants" which are really just a nasty stinky pair of gym shorts and you'll wrestle me at the next OG-FPD pay per view as we compete ONE ON ONE for the most glorious prize fo them all, the OG-FPD Joshi Championship - please don't forget what you must focus on, which is winning my OG-FPD Joshi Championship because I've been on a MASSIVE tear lately, defending against Holly and whatnot!
Oh... where was I?
Lessee... OG-FPD Joshi Championship... AH!
Now, Haley, lemme tell you some of the AMAZING benefits of being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion - because, hehe, Holly and WHOEVER ELSE are going to look you in the eyes and completely lie to you through the nose about what sorts of perks you get when you have this championship belt...
Like, 20% off of your car insurance! Take THAT Geico!
Or, if you go to places like Burger King or Wendy's, or - MY FAVORITE, Quizno's! - being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion means you get upgraded to Large on any combo meal for ONLY seventy cents! WOW!
Oh, oh! If you go to concerts produced by the Orochi-O's Cereal Company, you get in for free! Except, they only sponsor Metallica, Metallica cover bands, and symphony orchestras, which makes me kinda sad, 'cuz I was kinda hopin' I'd get to go see Gwen Stefani live.
She begins singing -horribly off key - a little, and dancing, wiggling her hips a little bit.
"Oh, yeah, I know the score, 'cuz I been around that track before, I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!"
She laughs, and spins once in the wet sand, before smiling sweetly for the camera.
OH YEAH, that's HOTT - so hot if you spell it with only ONE "T," you STILL haven't touched how HOTT that song is!
But, most importantly... being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion means you get a boy who'll TOTALLY wax the face plate and clean it up so it NEVER looks like a two-bit piece of tinfoil, super glue and pleather.
Isn't that right, Froggy?
Enter Team Ryder's Frog Jones, carrying the OG-FPD Joshi Championship across his forearms, which Dizzy motions for him to belt around her waist... as it snaps, she jumps a little, giggling.
[Dizzy:] Froggy! We're in PUBLIC! Don't touch me THERE!
[Frog:] ...your belt snaps? Don't touch your belt snaps?
Dizzy runs a hand slowly across the faceplate of the belt, before looking up at the camera slyly.
[Dizzy:] Best of all... this belt goes with EVERYTHING - it's a perfect way to complete ANY outfit! So, Haley. Those are just a few of the perks that you'd NEVER hear about being the OG-FPD Joshic Champion unless you, you know - WERE, the OG-FPD Joshi Champion. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but... well, I kinda am. Because, I don't wanna lose this belt, Haley, look how perfectly it sits!
Now, not only does the OG-FPD Joshi Champion get to be all cool and dress nice like this, but they get to lead teams of wrestlers in random six woman tag matches - like, Jo Ryder and Kaori Night! - against teams of women from OG-FPD like you and Holly, as well as McPro's Jenny McLanahan! And, not to brag... but I also managed to get my - she sighs- boooyyyyyyy-frieeeeeennnnn-
[Frog:] GODDAMMIT, DIZZY, I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!
[Dizzy:] Yes you are, you just don't know it yet.
Dizzy giggles, and Frog shakes his head...
[Frog:] Whatever, I'm wrestling Mister Figaro, and the way I'm gonna beat him is this: I'ma crack my Frogsawa elbows against his head, and then I'll try and dump him on it a few times - if that don't work, I'll wrestle him, before going back to the elbows and head drops. Check it, Figaro, I'ma drop you like FPN's Freedom Kid, biyatch, so watch out!
[Dizzy:] So, not only am I the CHAMPION, but my-
[Frog:] I'm not your boyfriend!
[Dizzy:] My friend with sexual benefits then?
[Frog:] GODDAMMIT, THERE ARE NO SEXUAL BENEFITS!
[Dizzy:] -silently, yet crankily- Yeah, you're telling me...
[Frog:] What?
{Dizzy:] EEP! Nothing! I'm going to model my HAWT belt now!
Dizzy looks directly into the camera and pumps her hips to the side, as the belt shrugs across her hips - being held up on her hips, and falling in front of her bikini bottom, showing just a little of the orange behind it.
[Dizzy:] Haley, I know you don't suck - well, if you do, it's in between TWO CONSENTING ADULTS, and that'd be none of my business, nope, no it isn't - but I know you're a good wrestler! And I look forward to defending against you, Haley, and if I lose... I know I lost to a woman who was a better opponent!
See you soon, Haley, 'kay?
Dizzy blows a kiss to the camera, and taps her sunglasses, causing them to fall down onto her nose - another slight push, and the sunglasses sit across the bridge of her nose, and she giggles, as the scene fades to black.
Scene open: A beach, and OG-FPD Joshi Champion, Dizzy, dressed for fun in the sun in a two piece orange bikini... she walks towards the camera, and thusly, along the coast, the tide drifting in and soaking her feet up to her ankles - she pulls a pair of sunglasses from her eyes, perching them carefully upon her head, the brown hair pulled back into a single ponytail.
[Dizzy:] Hi, I'm Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto, and you might remember me from such OG-FPD Pay Per Views as "Darkness Falls," "Murderer's Row," or "Debbie Has Two Mommies, Three Daddies, and a Goat!"
And, as much fun as I had educating the youth of America, portions of Alaska and the large island of Hawaii in wrestling with heart, passioin, and the importance of learning how to accept people with differing family situations, I'm here to speak about the OG-FPD Joshi Championship; perhaps the SINGLE most prestigious championship women have to compete for in any promotion in the history of ever, THE HISTORY. OF EVER!
And, I've asked for my next challenger to be Haley Cannon, that I have! But it turns out she was the number one contender anyways! EEP! So, Haley, I'm sorry for freaking out and demanding you be the number one contender when I should've realized that you already are, the number one contender to the greatest joshi championship in the HISTORY OF EVER, the OG-FPD Joshi Championship, which is greater than the PW-Wild Joshi Championship, and DEFINITELY better than McLanahan Pro's "Globally Honored Pants" which are really just a nasty stinky pair of gym shorts and you'll wrestle me at the next OG-FPD pay per view as we compete ONE ON ONE for the most glorious prize fo them all, the OG-FPD Joshi Championship - please don't forget what you must focus on, which is winning my OG-FPD Joshi Championship because I've been on a MASSIVE tear lately, defending against Holly and whatnot!
Oh... where was I?
Lessee... OG-FPD Joshi Championship... AH!
Now, Haley, lemme tell you some of the AMAZING benefits of being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion - because, hehe, Holly and WHOEVER ELSE are going to look you in the eyes and completely lie to you through the nose about what sorts of perks you get when you have this championship belt...
Like, 20% off of your car insurance! Take THAT Geico!
Or, if you go to places like Burger King or Wendy's, or - MY FAVORITE, Quizno's! - being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion means you get upgraded to Large on any combo meal for ONLY seventy cents! WOW!
Oh, oh! If you go to concerts produced by the Orochi-O's Cereal Company, you get in for free! Except, they only sponsor Metallica, Metallica cover bands, and symphony orchestras, which makes me kinda sad, 'cuz I was kinda hopin' I'd get to go see Gwen Stefani live.
She begins singing -horribly off key - a little, and dancing, wiggling her hips a little bit.
"Oh, yeah, I know the score, 'cuz I been around that track before, I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!"
She laughs, and spins once in the wet sand, before smiling sweetly for the camera.
OH YEAH, that's HOTT - so hot if you spell it with only ONE "T," you STILL haven't touched how HOTT that song is!
But, most importantly... being the OG-FPD Joshi Champion means you get a boy who'll TOTALLY wax the face plate and clean it up so it NEVER looks like a two-bit piece of tinfoil, super glue and pleather.
Isn't that right, Froggy?
Enter Team Ryder's Frog Jones, carrying the OG-FPD Joshi Championship across his forearms, which Dizzy motions for him to belt around her waist... as it snaps, she jumps a little, giggling.
[Dizzy:] Froggy! We're in PUBLIC! Don't touch me THERE!
[Frog:] ...your belt snaps? Don't touch your belt snaps?
Dizzy runs a hand slowly across the faceplate of the belt, before looking up at the camera slyly.
[Dizzy:] Best of all... this belt goes with EVERYTHING - it's a perfect way to complete ANY outfit! So, Haley. Those are just a few of the perks that you'd NEVER hear about being the OG-FPD Joshic Champion unless you, you know - WERE, the OG-FPD Joshi Champion. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but... well, I kinda am. Because, I don't wanna lose this belt, Haley, look how perfectly it sits!
Now, not only does the OG-FPD Joshi Champion get to be all cool and dress nice like this, but they get to lead teams of wrestlers in random six woman tag matches - like, Jo Ryder and Kaori Night! - against teams of women from OG-FPD like you and Holly, as well as McPro's Jenny McLanahan! And, not to brag... but I also managed to get my - she sighs- boooyyyyyyy-frieeeeeennnnn-
[Frog:] GODDAMMIT, DIZZY, I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!
[Dizzy:] Yes you are, you just don't know it yet.
Dizzy giggles, and Frog shakes his head...
[Frog:] Whatever, I'm wrestling Mister Figaro, and the way I'm gonna beat him is this: I'ma crack my Frogsawa elbows against his head, and then I'll try and dump him on it a few times - if that don't work, I'll wrestle him, before going back to the elbows and head drops. Check it, Figaro, I'ma drop you like FPN's Freedom Kid, biyatch, so watch out!
[Dizzy:] So, not only am I the CHAMPION, but my-
[Frog:] I'm not your boyfriend!
[Dizzy:] My friend with sexual benefits then?
[Frog:] GODDAMMIT, THERE ARE NO SEXUAL BENEFITS!
[Dizzy:] -silently, yet crankily- Yeah, you're telling me...
[Frog:] What?
{Dizzy:] EEP! Nothing! I'm going to model my HAWT belt now!
Dizzy looks directly into the camera and pumps her hips to the side, as the belt shrugs across her hips - being held up on her hips, and falling in front of her bikini bottom, showing just a little of the orange behind it.
[Dizzy:] Haley, I know you don't suck - well, if you do, it's in between TWO CONSENTING ADULTS, and that'd be none of my business, nope, no it isn't - but I know you're a good wrestler! And I look forward to defending against you, Haley, and if I lose... I know I lost to a woman who was a better opponent!
See you soon, Haley, 'kay?
Dizzy blows a kiss to the camera, and taps her sunglasses, causing them to fall down onto her nose - another slight push, and the sunglasses sit across the bridge of her nose, and she giggles, as the scene fades to black.