Orochi-O's Land Auditions!
Feb 15, 2007 3:07:02 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 15, 2007 3:07:02 GMT -5
5/9/05
Continued from 5/2 Orochi-O's RP thread
Holly: "You see, every good theme park doesn't JUST have attractions or rides. It has its theme characters walking around the park!!! Interacting with guests! Parading!!"
OG: "Uh..oh..."
Holly: "Looks like Geese has an idea where I'm going with this!! You see, we need both Orochi-O's and Team Ryder "characters" walking around Orochi-O's Land!!! We want everyone to be able to recognize their favorite characters and take pictures with them and get autographs!!"
OG: "So you want small people walking around with giant, hot costumes and masks?"
Holly: "No...no hot stuffy costumes with big character masks. For the majority of our big names, we want 'face characters' playing them. From the theme park business research I've done, that means the guests can see the actual faces of the people portaying the characters...no clunky masks on them. If we have an actress playing me, you will see the actresses face. There will be SOME exceptions of course...
*OG almost catches a glimpse of a Holly smirk*
Holly: "but most of us will be played by regular people in costumes/clothes that we normally wear!"
OG: "Um...ok, well i guess this makes sense. Kids seem to like this sort of thing. And kids also seem to like asking their parents for money to visit places like this!"
Holly: "Great! So what I have done is rounded up a bunch of people that will audition for the role of all our characters!!! You, me, Clyde, Figaro, Jo, Dizzy, Phil, Frog, Fishboy, and Eddie!"
OG: "Ok, well, let's see who you have in mind to play them."
Holly: "Great, let's start the auditions!! Our first character will be representing you, OG!! However...the problem is, there is only one true OG and we don't want someone masquerading as you...it just wouldn't seem natural and no one could pull off being you as much as you!"
OG: "Can't argue with that logic!"
Holly: "Therefore, rather then playing "OG", we're going to have a blast from the past!! We're gonna dress someone up as...BOLT!"
(http://og-fpd.fireproclub.com/Pics/Bolt.JPG)
*OG looks as if he has seen a ghost*
Holly: "Yup!! Your old persona back in Japan and a reminder of the international megastar you always used to say you were! We'll have the man wearing the Bolt outfit and the classic mask!!"
*OG gulps...he hasn't brought up the Bolt name in years and certainly didnt expect it to be resurrected through this!*
Holly: "So we're just gonna get one of the Orochi-O's employees to play Bolt. He's wearing a mask afterall so we dont need a facial likeness. We'll make sure he's built as well. Imagine OG...back when you were in Japan did you ever think you'd have your legendary, celebrated, and esteemed Bolt character walking around a cereal company-created theme park!?"
OG: "..."
Holly: "Exactly!! I'm so proud too!!"
Holly: "Ok...our next audition is to play that curious amphibian of Team Ryder: The Frog. Now this is where SOME costume will be necessary. I've had people compete to come up with their own Frog costume!!"
*The first person auditioning comes out carrying a brown paper bag. The man has a moustache, looks vaguely italian, and is in his mid 30's. He waves to the Orochi-O's crew.*
OG: "That guy looks awfully familiar*
*The man takes a homemade frog suit out of his bag and puts it on. He then proceeds to hop around on the stage. He then takes a turtle shell out of the bag and walks around with it.*
(http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/images/ani/smb3/ani_smb3_frogmarioshell.gif)
RIG: "Oh boy..."
Mr. Clyde: "Is that..."
Mario: "It's a-me, Mario!"
RIG: "That's the frog suit from Super Mario Brothers 3!!"
Holly: "What does everyone think?"
*Everyone nods their head in agreement with this successful audition*
Holly: "Great!! You got the job Mr. Mario, er, Mr. Brother! Ok...now onto our next character...Mr. Clyde."
Mr. Clyde: "Let me guess...since I wear a mask, you don't really need a real audition for me, either?
Mr. Figaro: *laughs* "Meaning...we don't have to waste any more time, right Clyde?"
Holly: "oh this won't be a waste of time...this will be great! I posted job descriptions for everyone and got so many candidates to play everyone's parts! But this guy was so insistent that he could play your part and even do it better then you!!!!"
*A man walks in dressed like a ninja*
(http://www.ffextreme.com/ff4/abilities/edge.gif)
Mr. Clyde: "And just who is that?"
Random ninja: "My name is Edge and I'm here to audition for the part of Mr. Clyde."
RIG: "OMG! Edge!!! What REALLY happened with you and Lit...
Edge: "Not THAT Edge, you idiot. It's just my name. And I hear I'm supposed to play some weirdo that dresses up like a ninja or something, what a disgrace to us real ones."
Mr. Clyde: "Watch your tongue, peasant, or it will be cut off after your next remark."
Edge: "Oh you're gonna fight your own battles or you're gonna let your blitzed-out boyfriend ( *points to Mr. Figaro* ) fight them for you."
OG: "Oh boy..."
*Mr. Clyde jumps onto the stage and he and Edge start fighting with swords, chains, knives, and basically anything else accessible in the room. Edge jumps to attack Mr. Figaro too but Figaro catches him, spins him, and throws him up in the air....right into the trajectory of a Mr. Clyde throwing star. Holly immediately calls for the cleaning crew and medics"
Holly: "I'm glad i had these auditioners sign waivers."
*Mr. Clyde calmly walks back to his seat with a smirk on his face*
Mr. Clyde: "Those FF4 amateurs can't compete with us."
OG: "Huh?"
Mr. Figaro: "Um, he means...let's get to the next contestant!"
Holly: "ok...hopefully this will turn out better. The next audition is for Mr. Figaro."
*A large, orange-skinned man makes his way from the backstage area to the podium. Everyone's eyes go wide*
RIG: "It's...it's...Hulk Hog...
HH: "Well you know something Random Interview Guy...wait, where's Mean Gene...(Shrugs)...me and my Figaromanaics are running wild! You gotta do your blitzes, cast your spells, and drink your potions little dudes!
Mr. Figaro: "You have to be kidding me."
HH: "What's wrong brotha?"
Mr. Figaro: "You...
*Figaro looks at Holly but points to Hulk*
Mr. Figaro: "THAT...that will NOT be playing me."
Holly: "oh c'mon, look at how enthusiastic he is! Kids will love him!"
HH: "All the Hulka...uh, Figaromaniacs!!"
RIG: "And you guys were worried about Team Ryder suing you..."
Mr. Figaro: "This guy WON'T be playing me...maybe one day he had the build but he's sagging and ...and... he's freaking glowing orange."
*Hulk points his finger at Figaro and starts shaking it*
RIG: "Oh no, not another fight..."
*As Hulk makes his way down the stairs, Figaro runs and plants him with a rushing forearm...Hulking up does not commence for the auditioner but unconsciousness does.*
Holly: "FINE!! If you and Clyde are gonna be stubborn...then...then...you two will just have to play yourselves!! How do you two like that!! Walking around the park all day talking to kids...answering questions!!! Well!! WELL!?"
*OG puts his hand gently on Holly's shoulder in a gesture of comfort*
OG: "How about we get to the next audition...how about some more of Team Ryder's members....this should lighten the mood."
Holly: "Ok, ok.... (takes deep breath) let's get to who will be playing Dizzy."
*A bunch of attractive women audition but no one quite has that "je ne sais quoi" that Dizzy has*
OG: "These are all extremely cute women, and they seem very energetic. Any one of them would make a decent Dizzy....though I can't help but think Dizzy would love to walk around as her own character in a theme park. But with her busy schedule, we really have to find someone else..."
Holly: "Well...these women are ok, but I was thinking of someone a bit more...well, "open" and "vivacious". I found this woman on the internet...
*Everyone looks at her*
Holly: "She was on... well...uh...Mr. Clyde's computer"
*Everyone looks at Clyde*
Mr. Clyde: "Nope, don't think so"
*Everyone looks back at Holly*
Holly: "Erm, let's just bring her out! Ms. Haze, will you please come out now?"
*A beautiful woman wearing surprisingly little in the way of clothing comes out to the stage. Even more surprisingly, she brings her own metal pole. 10 minutes of excessive grinding later...and a few bathroom breaks for RIG...everyone claps for Ms. Haze*
Holly: "Well, i think it's safe to say Ms. Haze...you got the job!! You will be playing the character of Dizzy in Orochi-O's Land!!"
OG: "Well this audition is really going well...too well for some of us..."
*OG looks in RIG's direction*
OG: "For the "entertainment you just received", you need to pay us $50 please."
RIG: "Fine, fine..."
OG: "Clean bills please."
*RIG cowers in embarrassment*
OG: "Ok, who's next?
Holly: "Well I want to introduce Fishboy's character and Phil Buster's character together."
*Holly yells for one of the random Orochi-O's employees to bring out "the Phil and Fish". The employee complies but first brings out a chair to the middle of the stage. Then the employee brings out a mannequin wearing a "Phil Buster = ratings" t-shirt and sits "him" down on the chair.*
OG: "THAT's Phil Buster?"
Holly: "In the flesh...uh...the wood."
OG: "But...how is THAT ... "thing" gonna walk around the park?"
Holly: "It won't! It will just sit in "Phil Buster's Snacketeria" in a special "meet and greet" area. People can bring their kids to take pictures with good ole, reliable, Phil."
OG: "Oooo-k...but what about Fishboy?"
Holly: "Ahh...he will have the pleasure of keeping Phil Buster company in the meet-and-greet!"
*Holly once again calls for the random Orochi-O's employee to bring out Fishboy. The employee brings out a small fishbowl with a rather ordinary, nondescript goldfish inside of it. The goldfish bowl is placed on "Phil Buster's" lap and the fish seems to be swimming rather happily.*
OG: "Wow...so i take it, THAT's Fishboy?"
Holly: "Salmon Dearborn himself!! The fish that ate a whole sasquatch and while, "digesting him" learned a whole submission art and took over Atlantis!! Here is the ancient one himself, Fishboy!"
*The fish blows some bubbles that go to the top of the tank*
Holly: "What's that Fishboy? You're overwhelmed with joy to be part of Orochi-O's Land? That's great to hear, and that enthusiasm will come in handy!! Just make sure you don't become part of one of Phil Buster's Snacketeria's "Fishboy Filets!! It comes in combo meals too!"
RIG: "Miss Ryder is NOT gonna like this..."
Holly: "SPEAKING of Miss Ryder, I think it's time for her audition to begin!"
OG: "To quote a "famous" football player, here comes the pain!"
*Holly calls to the backstage area*
Holly: "LADIES!"
*Some rather sickly looking middle-aged women waddle out. Some have toilet paper on their shoes, others look like they are about to faint. Underneath mock green "Team Ryder" windbreakers, the women are wearing dirty clothes. Furthermore, there is a virtual parade of open sores*
OG: "I'm getting nauseas just looking at this."
RIG: "The ONLY remote resemblance these women have with Jo Ryder is that they have red hair!"
*At that moment, red wigs fall off half the women*
Mr. Figaro: "Where did you find these..."women?"
Holly: (cheerfully): "Oh, well I decided to take a different route to work today! I wanted to meet with my fellow citizens in less opulent places. And i offered them opportunities to play everyone's favorite businesswoman, Jo Ryder! While some of them asked me what a businesswoman was, others clearly knew and wanted to play the part! They were literally drooling with anticipation!"
OG: "Have these women been tested for....um..."
Holly: "Don't let those open sores scare you, Geese! Think of them as "badges of experience!"
*RIG runs to the bathroom...but for different reasons then when Ms. Cavuto gave her "show"*
Holly: "Ok...since all of you women are so qualified...I'm gonna have to give one final talent test!! The women who is still standing after another 30 seconds will be our next Jo Ryder theme character!"
*5 seconds pass, all of the women except for two fall down and pass out*
OG: "Wow...it's like the Diva Search all over again!"
*15 seconds pass, both women are barely standing. One begins staring at Mr. Figaro*
Woman: "You're quite a looker, big fella"
Holly: "Ahh, young love! But Figaro, don't blow her a kiss, you might knock her over!"
*Seconds later, The woman falls down*
Holly: "Looks like she beat you to it! And it also appears we have a winner!"
*Holly raises the hand of the woman still, barely, standing*
Holly: "Congratulations...you are our new "Jo Ryder!"
Woman: "Hurrahhhhhhh"
*The woman falls down*
Holly: "Ok, someone get this woman cleaned up, checked out, intensely vaccinated, remind her what happened, and then tell her she got the part."
*RIG comes back...wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve...causing everyone to further keep their distance*
OG: "Ok...so i think we have everyone, right?"
Holly: "Not yet Geese...I saved the best for last!! ME!"
*Holly calls to the back once again*
Holly: "GIRLS!"
*A bevy of beautiful woman, as hot as Dizzy's casting call girls were, come out in Holly's signature green bikini. They start posing and getting everyone's attention very quickly*
Holly: "Ohhh, this is so tough to choose...and i feel so sorry for these girls?"
OG: "Sorry for them?"
Holly: "They try so hard to approach my beauty but they can never do it. They can't play my character well. Not like those Jo Ryder audition girls that really captured the spirit of Jo. I'm afraid that these girls auditioning for me are coming up short."
RIG: "So are you gonna get another "adult" star to play your part like you did for Dizzy?"
Holly: "How did you know who Ms. Haze is?"
*All eyes turn to RIG*
RIG: "Didn't we already do the "all eyes turn" thing before?"
*All eyes turn back to the hot girls auditioning*
Holly: "I think I'm gonna have to make a special call to Hollywood for this one."
Mr. Figaro: "Maybe Ms. Fleiss can set you up with one of her girls?"
Holly: "Heh...i think i'm looking more for bigger stars. Blonde bombshells of Hollywood. Well, I guess this part of the audition will have to be postponed until i find the perfect person to play my part: my character-double!"
Mr. Figaro: "Does that mean we are FINALLY done?"
Holly: "Yup!! And I'd say this was a rousing success!! And until Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde find characters to play their parts, since they were apparently unhappy with the ones i picked, then they will just have to play themselves!!"
OG: "You sure know how to motivate people, Holly!"
Holly: "And you sure know how to hire marketing directors, Geese!!"
*Holly winks and walks back to her office*
RIG: "Miss Ryder is NOT going to be happy"
Mr. Figaro: "What? You mean that woman still laying on the ground?"
OG: "I think he means the REAL Jo Ryder. And it's fine...she knows this is going to be a lucrative project despite Holly's secondary motives!"
Mr. Figaro: "Say...is that "Edge" or "Hulk" guy still around? I think Clyde and I need to do a little venting of our frustrations."
OG: "By all means guys, by all means"
*Hideous violent noises are heard in the backstage area...it turns out to be the "Ryder women" hacking up some hairballs while watching Figaro and Clyde pummel Edge and Hulk.*
Continued from 5/2 Orochi-O's RP thread
Holly: "You see, every good theme park doesn't JUST have attractions or rides. It has its theme characters walking around the park!!! Interacting with guests! Parading!!"
OG: "Uh..oh..."
Holly: "Looks like Geese has an idea where I'm going with this!! You see, we need both Orochi-O's and Team Ryder "characters" walking around Orochi-O's Land!!! We want everyone to be able to recognize their favorite characters and take pictures with them and get autographs!!"
OG: "So you want small people walking around with giant, hot costumes and masks?"
Holly: "No...no hot stuffy costumes with big character masks. For the majority of our big names, we want 'face characters' playing them. From the theme park business research I've done, that means the guests can see the actual faces of the people portaying the characters...no clunky masks on them. If we have an actress playing me, you will see the actresses face. There will be SOME exceptions of course...
*OG almost catches a glimpse of a Holly smirk*
Holly: "but most of us will be played by regular people in costumes/clothes that we normally wear!"
OG: "Um...ok, well i guess this makes sense. Kids seem to like this sort of thing. And kids also seem to like asking their parents for money to visit places like this!"
Holly: "Great! So what I have done is rounded up a bunch of people that will audition for the role of all our characters!!! You, me, Clyde, Figaro, Jo, Dizzy, Phil, Frog, Fishboy, and Eddie!"
OG: "Ok, well, let's see who you have in mind to play them."
Holly: "Great, let's start the auditions!! Our first character will be representing you, OG!! However...the problem is, there is only one true OG and we don't want someone masquerading as you...it just wouldn't seem natural and no one could pull off being you as much as you!"
OG: "Can't argue with that logic!"
Holly: "Therefore, rather then playing "OG", we're going to have a blast from the past!! We're gonna dress someone up as...BOLT!"
(http://og-fpd.fireproclub.com/Pics/Bolt.JPG)
*OG looks as if he has seen a ghost*
Holly: "Yup!! Your old persona back in Japan and a reminder of the international megastar you always used to say you were! We'll have the man wearing the Bolt outfit and the classic mask!!"
*OG gulps...he hasn't brought up the Bolt name in years and certainly didnt expect it to be resurrected through this!*
Holly: "So we're just gonna get one of the Orochi-O's employees to play Bolt. He's wearing a mask afterall so we dont need a facial likeness. We'll make sure he's built as well. Imagine OG...back when you were in Japan did you ever think you'd have your legendary, celebrated, and esteemed Bolt character walking around a cereal company-created theme park!?"
OG: "..."
Holly: "Exactly!! I'm so proud too!!"
Holly: "Ok...our next audition is to play that curious amphibian of Team Ryder: The Frog. Now this is where SOME costume will be necessary. I've had people compete to come up with their own Frog costume!!"
*The first person auditioning comes out carrying a brown paper bag. The man has a moustache, looks vaguely italian, and is in his mid 30's. He waves to the Orochi-O's crew.*
OG: "That guy looks awfully familiar*
*The man takes a homemade frog suit out of his bag and puts it on. He then proceeds to hop around on the stage. He then takes a turtle shell out of the bag and walks around with it.*
(http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/images/ani/smb3/ani_smb3_frogmarioshell.gif)
RIG: "Oh boy..."
Mr. Clyde: "Is that..."
Mario: "It's a-me, Mario!"
RIG: "That's the frog suit from Super Mario Brothers 3!!"
Holly: "What does everyone think?"
*Everyone nods their head in agreement with this successful audition*
Holly: "Great!! You got the job Mr. Mario, er, Mr. Brother! Ok...now onto our next character...Mr. Clyde."
Mr. Clyde: "Let me guess...since I wear a mask, you don't really need a real audition for me, either?
Mr. Figaro: *laughs* "Meaning...we don't have to waste any more time, right Clyde?"
Holly: "oh this won't be a waste of time...this will be great! I posted job descriptions for everyone and got so many candidates to play everyone's parts! But this guy was so insistent that he could play your part and even do it better then you!!!!"
*A man walks in dressed like a ninja*
(http://www.ffextreme.com/ff4/abilities/edge.gif)
Mr. Clyde: "And just who is that?"
Random ninja: "My name is Edge and I'm here to audition for the part of Mr. Clyde."
RIG: "OMG! Edge!!! What REALLY happened with you and Lit...
Edge: "Not THAT Edge, you idiot. It's just my name. And I hear I'm supposed to play some weirdo that dresses up like a ninja or something, what a disgrace to us real ones."
Mr. Clyde: "Watch your tongue, peasant, or it will be cut off after your next remark."
Edge: "Oh you're gonna fight your own battles or you're gonna let your blitzed-out boyfriend ( *points to Mr. Figaro* ) fight them for you."
OG: "Oh boy..."
*Mr. Clyde jumps onto the stage and he and Edge start fighting with swords, chains, knives, and basically anything else accessible in the room. Edge jumps to attack Mr. Figaro too but Figaro catches him, spins him, and throws him up in the air....right into the trajectory of a Mr. Clyde throwing star. Holly immediately calls for the cleaning crew and medics"
Holly: "I'm glad i had these auditioners sign waivers."
*Mr. Clyde calmly walks back to his seat with a smirk on his face*
Mr. Clyde: "Those FF4 amateurs can't compete with us."
OG: "Huh?"
Mr. Figaro: "Um, he means...let's get to the next contestant!"
Holly: "ok...hopefully this will turn out better. The next audition is for Mr. Figaro."
*A large, orange-skinned man makes his way from the backstage area to the podium. Everyone's eyes go wide*
RIG: "It's...it's...Hulk Hog...
HH: "Well you know something Random Interview Guy...wait, where's Mean Gene...(Shrugs)...me and my Figaromanaics are running wild! You gotta do your blitzes, cast your spells, and drink your potions little dudes!
Mr. Figaro: "You have to be kidding me."
HH: "What's wrong brotha?"
Mr. Figaro: "You...
*Figaro looks at Holly but points to Hulk*
Mr. Figaro: "THAT...that will NOT be playing me."
Holly: "oh c'mon, look at how enthusiastic he is! Kids will love him!"
HH: "All the Hulka...uh, Figaromaniacs!!"
RIG: "And you guys were worried about Team Ryder suing you..."
Mr. Figaro: "This guy WON'T be playing me...maybe one day he had the build but he's sagging and ...and... he's freaking glowing orange."
*Hulk points his finger at Figaro and starts shaking it*
RIG: "Oh no, not another fight..."
*As Hulk makes his way down the stairs, Figaro runs and plants him with a rushing forearm...Hulking up does not commence for the auditioner but unconsciousness does.*
Holly: "FINE!! If you and Clyde are gonna be stubborn...then...then...you two will just have to play yourselves!! How do you two like that!! Walking around the park all day talking to kids...answering questions!!! Well!! WELL!?"
*OG puts his hand gently on Holly's shoulder in a gesture of comfort*
OG: "How about we get to the next audition...how about some more of Team Ryder's members....this should lighten the mood."
Holly: "Ok, ok.... (takes deep breath) let's get to who will be playing Dizzy."
*A bunch of attractive women audition but no one quite has that "je ne sais quoi" that Dizzy has*
OG: "These are all extremely cute women, and they seem very energetic. Any one of them would make a decent Dizzy....though I can't help but think Dizzy would love to walk around as her own character in a theme park. But with her busy schedule, we really have to find someone else..."
Holly: "Well...these women are ok, but I was thinking of someone a bit more...well, "open" and "vivacious". I found this woman on the internet...
*Everyone looks at her*
Holly: "She was on... well...uh...Mr. Clyde's computer"
*Everyone looks at Clyde*
Mr. Clyde: "Nope, don't think so"
*Everyone looks back at Holly*
Holly: "Erm, let's just bring her out! Ms. Haze, will you please come out now?"
*A beautiful woman wearing surprisingly little in the way of clothing comes out to the stage. Even more surprisingly, she brings her own metal pole. 10 minutes of excessive grinding later...and a few bathroom breaks for RIG...everyone claps for Ms. Haze*
Holly: "Well, i think it's safe to say Ms. Haze...you got the job!! You will be playing the character of Dizzy in Orochi-O's Land!!"
OG: "Well this audition is really going well...too well for some of us..."
*OG looks in RIG's direction*
OG: "For the "entertainment you just received", you need to pay us $50 please."
RIG: "Fine, fine..."
OG: "Clean bills please."
*RIG cowers in embarrassment*
OG: "Ok, who's next?
Holly: "Well I want to introduce Fishboy's character and Phil Buster's character together."
*Holly yells for one of the random Orochi-O's employees to bring out "the Phil and Fish". The employee complies but first brings out a chair to the middle of the stage. Then the employee brings out a mannequin wearing a "Phil Buster = ratings" t-shirt and sits "him" down on the chair.*
OG: "THAT's Phil Buster?"
Holly: "In the flesh...uh...the wood."
OG: "But...how is THAT ... "thing" gonna walk around the park?"
Holly: "It won't! It will just sit in "Phil Buster's Snacketeria" in a special "meet and greet" area. People can bring their kids to take pictures with good ole, reliable, Phil."
OG: "Oooo-k...but what about Fishboy?"
Holly: "Ahh...he will have the pleasure of keeping Phil Buster company in the meet-and-greet!"
*Holly once again calls for the random Orochi-O's employee to bring out Fishboy. The employee brings out a small fishbowl with a rather ordinary, nondescript goldfish inside of it. The goldfish bowl is placed on "Phil Buster's" lap and the fish seems to be swimming rather happily.*
OG: "Wow...so i take it, THAT's Fishboy?"
Holly: "Salmon Dearborn himself!! The fish that ate a whole sasquatch and while, "digesting him" learned a whole submission art and took over Atlantis!! Here is the ancient one himself, Fishboy!"
*The fish blows some bubbles that go to the top of the tank*
Holly: "What's that Fishboy? You're overwhelmed with joy to be part of Orochi-O's Land? That's great to hear, and that enthusiasm will come in handy!! Just make sure you don't become part of one of Phil Buster's Snacketeria's "Fishboy Filets!! It comes in combo meals too!"
RIG: "Miss Ryder is NOT gonna like this..."
Holly: "SPEAKING of Miss Ryder, I think it's time for her audition to begin!"
OG: "To quote a "famous" football player, here comes the pain!"
*Holly calls to the backstage area*
Holly: "LADIES!"
*Some rather sickly looking middle-aged women waddle out. Some have toilet paper on their shoes, others look like they are about to faint. Underneath mock green "Team Ryder" windbreakers, the women are wearing dirty clothes. Furthermore, there is a virtual parade of open sores*
OG: "I'm getting nauseas just looking at this."
RIG: "The ONLY remote resemblance these women have with Jo Ryder is that they have red hair!"
*At that moment, red wigs fall off half the women*
Mr. Figaro: "Where did you find these..."women?"
Holly: (cheerfully): "Oh, well I decided to take a different route to work today! I wanted to meet with my fellow citizens in less opulent places. And i offered them opportunities to play everyone's favorite businesswoman, Jo Ryder! While some of them asked me what a businesswoman was, others clearly knew and wanted to play the part! They were literally drooling with anticipation!"
OG: "Have these women been tested for....um..."
Holly: "Don't let those open sores scare you, Geese! Think of them as "badges of experience!"
*RIG runs to the bathroom...but for different reasons then when Ms. Cavuto gave her "show"*
Holly: "Ok...since all of you women are so qualified...I'm gonna have to give one final talent test!! The women who is still standing after another 30 seconds will be our next Jo Ryder theme character!"
*5 seconds pass, all of the women except for two fall down and pass out*
OG: "Wow...it's like the Diva Search all over again!"
*15 seconds pass, both women are barely standing. One begins staring at Mr. Figaro*
Woman: "You're quite a looker, big fella"
Holly: "Ahh, young love! But Figaro, don't blow her a kiss, you might knock her over!"
*Seconds later, The woman falls down*
Holly: "Looks like she beat you to it! And it also appears we have a winner!"
*Holly raises the hand of the woman still, barely, standing*
Holly: "Congratulations...you are our new "Jo Ryder!"
Woman: "Hurrahhhhhhh"
*The woman falls down*
Holly: "Ok, someone get this woman cleaned up, checked out, intensely vaccinated, remind her what happened, and then tell her she got the part."
*RIG comes back...wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve...causing everyone to further keep their distance*
OG: "Ok...so i think we have everyone, right?"
Holly: "Not yet Geese...I saved the best for last!! ME!"
*Holly calls to the back once again*
Holly: "GIRLS!"
*A bevy of beautiful woman, as hot as Dizzy's casting call girls were, come out in Holly's signature green bikini. They start posing and getting everyone's attention very quickly*
Holly: "Ohhh, this is so tough to choose...and i feel so sorry for these girls?"
OG: "Sorry for them?"
Holly: "They try so hard to approach my beauty but they can never do it. They can't play my character well. Not like those Jo Ryder audition girls that really captured the spirit of Jo. I'm afraid that these girls auditioning for me are coming up short."
RIG: "So are you gonna get another "adult" star to play your part like you did for Dizzy?"
Holly: "How did you know who Ms. Haze is?"
*All eyes turn to RIG*
RIG: "Didn't we already do the "all eyes turn" thing before?"
*All eyes turn back to the hot girls auditioning*
Holly: "I think I'm gonna have to make a special call to Hollywood for this one."
Mr. Figaro: "Maybe Ms. Fleiss can set you up with one of her girls?"
Holly: "Heh...i think i'm looking more for bigger stars. Blonde bombshells of Hollywood. Well, I guess this part of the audition will have to be postponed until i find the perfect person to play my part: my character-double!"
Mr. Figaro: "Does that mean we are FINALLY done?"
Holly: "Yup!! And I'd say this was a rousing success!! And until Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde find characters to play their parts, since they were apparently unhappy with the ones i picked, then they will just have to play themselves!!"
OG: "You sure know how to motivate people, Holly!"
Holly: "And you sure know how to hire marketing directors, Geese!!"
*Holly winks and walks back to her office*
RIG: "Miss Ryder is NOT going to be happy"
Mr. Figaro: "What? You mean that woman still laying on the ground?"
OG: "I think he means the REAL Jo Ryder. And it's fine...she knows this is going to be a lucrative project despite Holly's secondary motives!"
Mr. Figaro: "Say...is that "Edge" or "Hulk" guy still around? I think Clyde and I need to do a little venting of our frustrations."
OG: "By all means guys, by all means"
*Hideous violent noises are heard in the backstage area...it turns out to be the "Ryder women" hacking up some hairballs while watching Figaro and Clyde pummel Edge and Hulk.*