Lina: Closure is Bullshit
Feb 20, 2023 6:57:45 GMT -5
Post by unimportantguy on Feb 20, 2023 6:57:45 GMT -5
The cell phone video is low-res and crappy but we can just about make out a city street somewhere, a Koff-E Mart front window, a table out front with a coffee cup resting on it, and Lynn "Lina" Malloy, just off of center-frame, huddled deep into one of her signature hoodies, this one with a logo for the band Ghost on it. She takes a sip from her coffee cup and stares off into space for a long moment before focusing on the phone in front of her.
Lina: Heya, OGJ. Been a minute.
She takes another sip of the coffee.
Lina: My therapist tells me that closure is bullshit and seekin' it fucks up peoples' lives. But she also tells me that I try to say what people wanna hear instead of what I'm actually thinkin' and bottle shit up until I blow up and say some shit I regret. So I'm just gonna try sayin' the stuff that's in my head and hope I ramble over to my point.
Another sip of coffee. This is clearly a stalling tactic.
Lina: I dunno if any of my OGJ fans follow what's going on in SWA, but my ol' pal N-Trio retired last year. Lost a Loser Leaves SWA match to Samael, packed up his shit, and hung up the boots. And just like that, I'm the oldest active wrestler in SWA. Some of the girls we got wrestling now weren't even born when I started this shit. And, like, SWA is still great, don't get me wrong! I get to hang out with the BHBros and punch people in the face for a living. But, well...
A false start. Lina trails off. After a moment of awkward silence, she reaches behind her and pulls a package out of a backpack. She sets down an OG-Joshi Lina action figure circa 2009 on the table.
Lina: I talked to my mom the other day. Hopped a plane to Detroit and really talked to her, face to face. First time in over a decade. And my therapist was right! Closure is bullshit. Never talking to mom again. But she had this thing sitting on her shelf. And it made me think about OG-Joshi again. When I asked her about it, she said I could keep it.
Lina silently regards the action figure.
Lina: I fuckin' loved OG-Joshi. I wrestled there for three years and they were one of the best times I've had in my career. I learned some hard lessons there, but. Man. It rocked. If it weren't for Ruby Moreno and Destiny and some fuckin' Orochi-O's contract lawyer screwin' me over and nearly costin' me my whole career, I'd probably still be there. I want that closure. I want to finish what I started there. So when the word came out in 2019 that OGJ was comin' back, I was super excited! Couldn't shut up about it. Kazuo Saji kept tellin' me to just marry Mean Jean Carter already. I don't think Luke would appreciate that, though.
Lina smiles and chuckles to herself, but the mirth quickly fades.
Lina: But the thing is, that was over three years ago, and I ain't gettin' any younger. I turn 44 in a couple months, and like, remember when I said I wanted to wrestle 'til I'm 50? I still wanna do that, but I'm think a li'l bit more about how I get there. I have to seriously think about whether I can keep doing stuff like the Queen of SWA league every year. And, like, sure I could just pop some pain killers and say fuck it, but fuck's sake I work with Jim Tarler. I've talked to the man. I know where that leads.
Another sip from the coffee cup. A long one.
Lina: Sometimes I get in my head too much still. I love OG-Joshi and I don't want to give it anything but my best. But sometimes I get to thinkin': Am I getting too old? Is my act getting stale? Can I still hang with world-class talent? Do guys still wanna stare at my boobs? Did I just kick off a terrible OG-JoshiFan.Net thread?
Lina smirks half-heartedly. That joke was bad and she knows it.
Lina: So anyway here's what I decided. If OG-Joshi's really coming back, I need to be my absolute best, but also, I can't go it alone. I don't want to ever disappoint people or make them feel like they didn't get good value for their ticket coming to see me. So if- no, when I come back to OG-Joshi, I'm bringing a bunch of other badass bitches with me. We're gonna fight and excite like nothin' you've seen before.
Unbeknownst to Lina, we see Connor Cipris and Kazuo Saji approaching from behind her. Kazuo points in mock terror.
Saji: Bro. BRO. Is that a flip phone?
Lina wheels around, forgetting to clap her phone shut.
Lina: Hey! Flip phones are cool again now!
Saji: Not THAT kind of flip phone!
Connor: Lina, you're one of the highest paid women in SWA. Please. Buy a new phone.
Lina starts to protest, and then remembers to shut off her video feed.
Lina: Heya, OGJ. Been a minute.
She takes another sip of the coffee.
Lina: My therapist tells me that closure is bullshit and seekin' it fucks up peoples' lives. But she also tells me that I try to say what people wanna hear instead of what I'm actually thinkin' and bottle shit up until I blow up and say some shit I regret. So I'm just gonna try sayin' the stuff that's in my head and hope I ramble over to my point.
Another sip of coffee. This is clearly a stalling tactic.
Lina: I dunno if any of my OGJ fans follow what's going on in SWA, but my ol' pal N-Trio retired last year. Lost a Loser Leaves SWA match to Samael, packed up his shit, and hung up the boots. And just like that, I'm the oldest active wrestler in SWA. Some of the girls we got wrestling now weren't even born when I started this shit. And, like, SWA is still great, don't get me wrong! I get to hang out with the BHBros and punch people in the face for a living. But, well...
A false start. Lina trails off. After a moment of awkward silence, she reaches behind her and pulls a package out of a backpack. She sets down an OG-Joshi Lina action figure circa 2009 on the table.
Lina: I talked to my mom the other day. Hopped a plane to Detroit and really talked to her, face to face. First time in over a decade. And my therapist was right! Closure is bullshit. Never talking to mom again. But she had this thing sitting on her shelf. And it made me think about OG-Joshi again. When I asked her about it, she said I could keep it.
Lina silently regards the action figure.
Lina: I fuckin' loved OG-Joshi. I wrestled there for three years and they were one of the best times I've had in my career. I learned some hard lessons there, but. Man. It rocked. If it weren't for Ruby Moreno and Destiny and some fuckin' Orochi-O's contract lawyer screwin' me over and nearly costin' me my whole career, I'd probably still be there. I want that closure. I want to finish what I started there. So when the word came out in 2019 that OGJ was comin' back, I was super excited! Couldn't shut up about it. Kazuo Saji kept tellin' me to just marry Mean Jean Carter already. I don't think Luke would appreciate that, though.
Lina smiles and chuckles to herself, but the mirth quickly fades.
Lina: But the thing is, that was over three years ago, and I ain't gettin' any younger. I turn 44 in a couple months, and like, remember when I said I wanted to wrestle 'til I'm 50? I still wanna do that, but I'm think a li'l bit more about how I get there. I have to seriously think about whether I can keep doing stuff like the Queen of SWA league every year. And, like, sure I could just pop some pain killers and say fuck it, but fuck's sake I work with Jim Tarler. I've talked to the man. I know where that leads.
Another sip from the coffee cup. A long one.
Lina: Sometimes I get in my head too much still. I love OG-Joshi and I don't want to give it anything but my best. But sometimes I get to thinkin': Am I getting too old? Is my act getting stale? Can I still hang with world-class talent? Do guys still wanna stare at my boobs? Did I just kick off a terrible OG-JoshiFan.Net thread?
Lina smirks half-heartedly. That joke was bad and she knows it.
Lina: So anyway here's what I decided. If OG-Joshi's really coming back, I need to be my absolute best, but also, I can't go it alone. I don't want to ever disappoint people or make them feel like they didn't get good value for their ticket coming to see me. So if- no, when I come back to OG-Joshi, I'm bringing a bunch of other badass bitches with me. We're gonna fight and excite like nothin' you've seen before.
Unbeknownst to Lina, we see Connor Cipris and Kazuo Saji approaching from behind her. Kazuo points in mock terror.
Saji: Bro. BRO. Is that a flip phone?
Lina wheels around, forgetting to clap her phone shut.
Lina: Hey! Flip phones are cool again now!
Saji: Not THAT kind of flip phone!
Connor: Lina, you're one of the highest paid women in SWA. Please. Buy a new phone.
Lina starts to protest, and then remembers to shut off her video feed.