Haling a Whobody

[OrochiGeese]

*It is 1 pm on Monday, December 13th and we fade into the office of "Mean" Jean Carter, the Coach and Owner of OG-Joshi Wrestling. She is intensely discussing strategy with Luke Carter, her boyfriend and the owner of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena.*

[Jean:] "Are you sure the rules for 'Go Fish' allow you to use the Community Chest cards from Monopoly?"

[Luke:] "This card says 'Advance to 'Go' - Collect $200"

[Jean:] "And you're sure it's the same 'Go' as the suggestion to the fish?"

[Luke:] "I wouldn't think it's ethical to deprive the fish of the opportunity to win that money."

*Jean smiles and reaches over to kiss Luke.*

[Jean:] "You're really considerate to animals, I love that about you."

*Luke blushes right as there is a knock on the door.*

[Jean:] "Come in but you may have to pay fifty dollars to the other players."


*The door opens to a puzzled Robin Walker who turns her pockets inside out.*


[Robin:] "Sorry, we played 'Chess and Ladders' last night and Geese cleaned me out."

[Jean:] "How do you play that?"

[Robin:] "It's like Chutes and Ladders mixed with Chess. A bad dice roll and you lose your Queen."

[Luke:] "You probably needed an Ace or a King then."

[Robin:] "Actually, I think you guys needed an Ace and the good news is that she's here!"

*Robin points to herself and smiles.*



[Jean:] "To quote our turn of the century newspaper boy, what's the haps?"

[Robin:] "Well, I'd love to bring the news that we were all thinking about. Obviously, we're now a year removed from the Anniversary show last year and there's still a legal gag order preventing us from talking further about it."

[Jean:] "And for good reason."

[Luke:] "I've really never seen anything like that before."

[Robin:] "Ahem, but that doesn't mean that we can't move forward in an informal fashion. After all, look at how productive the UBL Basic Training program has been in the past year. Not being allowed to run official shows hasn't stopped them from training and working with the roster. They have quietly progressed and we need to follow the same model."

[Luke:] "UBL has the infrastructure for it."

[Jean:] "Nice - word of the day - I knew you'd work it into a conversation!"

*Luke and Jean high-five as Robin smirks.*

[Robin:] "That's is true. UBL had its Front Lines division and Basic Training program running for years before our 'hiatus' flirted with 'stoppage.'  But we have to start somewhere right? Or, more accurately, with somebody!"

[Jean:] "Somebody? Whobody? Youbody?"

[Robin:] "No...but I-"

[Jean:] "It sounded like you just played along and said 'nobody!'"

[Robin:] "Thank you, I'm painfully aware of that.  Puns aside, let's examine UBL's success in this area beyond their tenure. What does their Basic Training infrastructure have that we do not?

[Jean:] "A gym and a metric ton of rookies?  Vending machines that can survive abuse?"

[Robin:] "I think Luke can attest to the fact we have enough multi-purpose rooms on the OG-Joshi side of the building to establish a permanent training area for rookies."

[Luke:] "Yeah, the space is definitely there but what about the people to fill it."

[Robin:] "Jean, you mentioned last week that you signed a few more to the roster. What's our total?"

[Jean:] "We signed two over the summer, Hanako and Aria Holt, thanks to the multi-promotional draft. And just last month we signed a woman named Cassandra Carter and another named Yasuna Shimuzu."

[Robin:] "That gives us enough for a real start.  The first Basic Training program had eight wrestlers. There's nothing wrong with starting with four here and giving true individual attention to their development."

[Luke:] "But who will give that attention?"

[Jean:] "I believe you meant whobody will give that attention, dear."

*Luke kisses Jean on the cheek.*

[Robin:] "I gotta put an actual name to this because this whobody stuff is killing me right now."


*Robin opens the door and a woman walks in who(body) makes Jean's mouth open wide.


The woman bows to everyone in the room, including Robin.*









[Jean:] "Haley Cannon!!!!!! I can't believe it! Robin - you found her?"

[Robin:] "I did. It took me 6 months of Her Majesty's Googling but I did."

*Jean jumps up and runs over to Haley to deliver a huge hug. Haley is a little uncomfortable at first but she sees Jean's appreciative expression and lightens up.*

[Haley:] "And a delightful hello to you too, Miss Carter."

[Jean:] "Hi!! And you two...you're like okay now?"

[Robin:] "Hales and I had a long talk. She knows I made amends a long time ago and neither of us ever had any actual personal animosity toward each other. We are both competitors and just wanted to hold the gold."

[Jean:] "Well Haley is the first OG-Joshi World Champion, after all."

[Robin:] "She certainly earned it. So who better to be the official trainer of the OG-Joshi rookie class?"

[Jean:] "Agreed!! But we need a snazzy name for her title and also for the group."

[Haley:] "I have actually given this some thought. May I suggest 'OG-Joshi Emerge'?"

[Jean:] "Ooooh!! I love that!! Like our Emergence events in 2006 during your Championship reign."

[Haley:] "It feels appropriate."

[Jean:] "And what should we call you? The 'Coach' name is kinda taken, doncha know?"

[Robin:] "And UBL has its Field Leader - which always sounded to me like a field trip supervisor."

[Luke:] "Matt and I would have totally gotten lost in the dinosaur museum if it wasn't for Barton."

[Robin:] "I really don't doubt that."

[Haley:] "We have a name for the program but what about the venue that will hold us?"

[Luke:] "I mean...you all see where this has to go, right?"

*Robin suddenly has a look of fear and starts waving her hands in protest*

[Robin:] "No Luke...because it doesn't have to go there."

[Jean:] "You know what he's going to say?"

[Robin:] "It's not just dirty wordplay that I'm a master in.  But as much as I initially recoiled, now that I think about it, I have to back his play.  In fact, I wish Mr. Figaro was here too. He'd love this idea."

[Luke:]  "He really would.  Let's do this for him."

[Jean:] "Okay honey, but share your idea with the whole class."

[Luke:] "The OG-JoDojo."

[Jean:] "Obi Wan Kenojo? PB&J Robo?"

[Luke:] "Close!  And a great idea for that sandwich robot!"

[Haley:] "It does have...a ring to it, I guess."

[Luke:] "Oh, it will have a big ring right in the center! I'll see to that."

*Robin sighs but then puts her arm around Haley in a reassuring way.*

[Robin:] "Look on the bright side. That would make you the Sensei of the OG-JoDojo."

[Haley:] "Can I...just say the Sensei part?"

[Robin:] "I wouldn't count on a quality conversation otherwise."

[Jean:] "Then it's settled - the new recruits will be placed in our new 'Emerge' program that takes place in the OG-JoDojo and shall be trained by the illustrious Sensei Haley Cannon!"

[Haley:] "I do like the sound of that."

[Robin:] "See, Jean - we're not going to let the rest of the world stop us from moving forward at our own pace. OG-Joshi's revival may not have gone the way we wanted but we're still fighting for it. Isn't that the OG-Joshi spirit? Keep fighting for the cause no matter what happens: Especially in the face of Destiny or Gauntlet?"

[Jean:] "It is, Robin. Thank you for this. And thank you, Haley. I'm so excited for Emerge!"

[Robin:] "That's the Jean I know."

[Jean:] "Maybe we should even pause our game?"

[Luke:] "Not until you play your "Win Beauty Pageant" card."

*Jean blushes and runs to hug and kiss Luke as the scene fades.*