Lina: Contractual Calamities
Nov 6, 2011 5:22:33 GMT -5
Post by unimportantguy on Nov 6, 2011 5:22:33 GMT -5
We open on the sound of a mighty thump and a lot of incoherent shouting and cursing. Nearly swallowed in the noise is the sound of a man’s voice saying “Lynn, please. Calm down. This isn’t what it seems.” We see Lina standing in front of the desk of James “Jamie” Fushichou, co-owner of SWA. He is lifting his hands in a placating gesture.
Lina: No, this is not anything but what bullshit is!
Jamie: Allow me to fully explain myself.
Lina: No, no, no. No explanations! I don’t want to hear it. You’ve always thought you could control me, Jamie. But fuck you. You don’t own me. Or maybe you’ve forgotten all those little “independent contractor” weasel words you put in all of our contracts?
Jamie: Lynn.
Lina: You know I hate it when you use my first name like that.
Jamie: If you’re done throwing a temper tantrum?
Lina seethes, but says nothing.
Jamie: As I was saying. Having you work for OG Joshi out in New York was one thing. It was good for business. You represented SWA out there and you got us a lot of new fans in a market we hadn’t previously penetrated. But things have changed. Destiny operates out of California. Can’t you see how it would look for one of our own top talents, and one of our top prospects for the first Queen of SWA tournament, to be wrestling for the competition, right in our own backyard?
Lina: Jamie, can the big happy family bullshit. Nobody’s buying it.
Jamie: Lynn, please. We’re doing something big here. Something unimaginably big. This roster split, the Queen of SWA tournament, the new SWA Joshi show. This could mean a whole lot of new respect and new opportunities for a lot of women just like you. But we need everybody on board to make it happen. We need you. And we need your attention here, with us, not off somewhere else.
Lina: I’m taking this to Buster. There’s no way he’ll agree with this shit; he’s always been in favor of talent rights.
Jamie: I’ve already discussed this matter with Bill. While he was reluctant to place any restrictions upon you, he did agree with my position. This is an all hands on deck situation. If we are to make this work, we must all work together to make it happen.
Lina: Dammit, Jamie! There are no investors here. There’s nobody here to eat up your bullshit, and I know you’re not telling me something. So can we seriously stop with the whole “SWA is one big happy family” shit! You know it’s crap, I know it’s crap, the whole roster knows it’s crap!
Jamie: Do you truly believe that? Really? I’ll level with you, Lynn, since that’s what you want. The only reason you don’t believe in SWA as a family is because you don’t believe in happy families. You can’t. Your personal life experiences have taught you that they don’t exist.
Lina: You are getting dangerously close to talking about my brother. Do you remember what happened the last time someone talked about my brother?
Jamie: Yes, I do, because Bill and I were the ones who were left to confront the ensuing lawsuit on your behalf. And as loathe as I am to bring it up, I really doubt that, if your brother was alive today, he would’ve appreciated knowing his little sister was running around in bars knocking out her fans with his dog tags.
For a moment, it looks as if Lina is going to punch Jamie square between the eyes, but he simply sits there, calm as ever. Finally, Lina takes the dog tags from around her neck, gazes at them for a long moment, then puts the necklace in her pocket.
Lina: Go on. But don’t think this means I’m not going to punch you. I’m still thinking about it.
Jamie seems satisfied by this for the moment.
Jamie: Now. While Mr. Raymond did not want to restrict you, he also had something else to point out. Something I think you should hear.
Jamie pulls out a file folder and extracts from it a piece of paper.
Jamie: This is the contract we signed when you started competing in OG-Joshi. Bill and I both reviewed this document because we were concerned about being in breach of contract should we withdraw you from competition there. However, we noted something important upon review. This contract is explicitly with Orochi-O’s, Inc. and Orochi Geese in particular. With the transfer in ownership, your contract will be null and void. Legally speaking, you will no longer be a member of the OG-Joshi roster.
Lina’s jaw goes slack for a moment.
Lina: You have got to be shitting me. Let me see that thing.
Lina grabs the contract and begins scanning it.
Jamie: It’s all right there, I assure you. By my guess, Orochi Geese probably put this clause into the contracts of several women, hoping to screw over anybody who tried to buy OG-Joshi out from under him. Or maybe someone was just trying to screw you over. Note the non-compete clause there, which would effectively trigger as soon as you left the direct employ of Orochi Geese. Perhaps there really was a grain of truth to the “Anti-Lina Conspiracy” after all?
Lina: What... the fuck? How did you and Buster not catch this shit?
Jamie: It was very, shall we say, carefully worded, and, if you remember, the Orochi-O’s representative at the time was quick to hand the contract to you and keep it out of our hands. Afterwards, they did all they could to keep us from getting a copy of this contract, throwing a number of legal and clerical hurdles in our way. This was the first opportunity we’ve gotten since the initial transaction to carefully look the whole document over.
Lina: So... what now?
Jamie: I’m not quite sure how to put this. That non-compete clause, should it take effect, would effectively ban you from SWA competition. You would be unable to compete in the Queen of SWA tournament, and ineligible to become the first SWA Joshi Champion.
Lina starts to protest, but Jamie lifts a finger to cut her off.
Jamie: Let me finish. On review of this contract, Bill and I both agreed that there were loopholes in it a mile wide. I believe he called it “Battier than batshit.” Lynn, whether you believe it or not, you are very important to us, and to this company. We can and will fight this battle to keep you, but I need your assurance that you’ll be on the same page with us. I need to know that your attention is here, on SWA, not with Eris Byrne, not with OG-Joshi, and not with Ruby Moreno and Destiny. Promise me that we have your loyalty.
Jamie offers his hand to be shaken. Lina considers it for a long moment.
Lina: Done. Under one condition: Promise me that you’ll find a way to get a final match with Eris Byrne. If you get me that, I agree.
Jamie: Provided that really is the end of all this, I will do everything in my considerable power to make it happen.
There is a long moment as Lina stares at Jamie, seemingly evaluating his last statement. Finally, she accepts the handshake.
Jamie: Excellent. In the mean time, I promise you that you will be competing in the Queen of SWA tournament. If Orochi Geese or Ruby Moreno or anybody else wants to challenge us on that, I’ll be more than happy to take them to court. I’ll be pulling for you in that tournament, Lynn.
Lina: Psh. I bet you’ve said that to all the girls in the locker room.
Lina's words are kidding but there is a sense of genuine emotion behind the statement. Jamie smiles enigmatically as Lina turns to leave and we Fade To Black.
Lina: No, this is not anything but what bullshit is!
Jamie: Allow me to fully explain myself.
Lina: No, no, no. No explanations! I don’t want to hear it. You’ve always thought you could control me, Jamie. But fuck you. You don’t own me. Or maybe you’ve forgotten all those little “independent contractor” weasel words you put in all of our contracts?
Jamie: Lynn.
Lina: You know I hate it when you use my first name like that.
Jamie: If you’re done throwing a temper tantrum?
Lina seethes, but says nothing.
Jamie: As I was saying. Having you work for OG Joshi out in New York was one thing. It was good for business. You represented SWA out there and you got us a lot of new fans in a market we hadn’t previously penetrated. But things have changed. Destiny operates out of California. Can’t you see how it would look for one of our own top talents, and one of our top prospects for the first Queen of SWA tournament, to be wrestling for the competition, right in our own backyard?
Lina: Jamie, can the big happy family bullshit. Nobody’s buying it.
Jamie: Lynn, please. We’re doing something big here. Something unimaginably big. This roster split, the Queen of SWA tournament, the new SWA Joshi show. This could mean a whole lot of new respect and new opportunities for a lot of women just like you. But we need everybody on board to make it happen. We need you. And we need your attention here, with us, not off somewhere else.
Lina: I’m taking this to Buster. There’s no way he’ll agree with this shit; he’s always been in favor of talent rights.
Jamie: I’ve already discussed this matter with Bill. While he was reluctant to place any restrictions upon you, he did agree with my position. This is an all hands on deck situation. If we are to make this work, we must all work together to make it happen.
Lina: Dammit, Jamie! There are no investors here. There’s nobody here to eat up your bullshit, and I know you’re not telling me something. So can we seriously stop with the whole “SWA is one big happy family” shit! You know it’s crap, I know it’s crap, the whole roster knows it’s crap!
Jamie: Do you truly believe that? Really? I’ll level with you, Lynn, since that’s what you want. The only reason you don’t believe in SWA as a family is because you don’t believe in happy families. You can’t. Your personal life experiences have taught you that they don’t exist.
Lina: You are getting dangerously close to talking about my brother. Do you remember what happened the last time someone talked about my brother?
Jamie: Yes, I do, because Bill and I were the ones who were left to confront the ensuing lawsuit on your behalf. And as loathe as I am to bring it up, I really doubt that, if your brother was alive today, he would’ve appreciated knowing his little sister was running around in bars knocking out her fans with his dog tags.
For a moment, it looks as if Lina is going to punch Jamie square between the eyes, but he simply sits there, calm as ever. Finally, Lina takes the dog tags from around her neck, gazes at them for a long moment, then puts the necklace in her pocket.
Lina: Go on. But don’t think this means I’m not going to punch you. I’m still thinking about it.
Jamie seems satisfied by this for the moment.
Jamie: Now. While Mr. Raymond did not want to restrict you, he also had something else to point out. Something I think you should hear.
Jamie pulls out a file folder and extracts from it a piece of paper.
Jamie: This is the contract we signed when you started competing in OG-Joshi. Bill and I both reviewed this document because we were concerned about being in breach of contract should we withdraw you from competition there. However, we noted something important upon review. This contract is explicitly with Orochi-O’s, Inc. and Orochi Geese in particular. With the transfer in ownership, your contract will be null and void. Legally speaking, you will no longer be a member of the OG-Joshi roster.
Lina’s jaw goes slack for a moment.
Lina: You have got to be shitting me. Let me see that thing.
Lina grabs the contract and begins scanning it.
Jamie: It’s all right there, I assure you. By my guess, Orochi Geese probably put this clause into the contracts of several women, hoping to screw over anybody who tried to buy OG-Joshi out from under him. Or maybe someone was just trying to screw you over. Note the non-compete clause there, which would effectively trigger as soon as you left the direct employ of Orochi Geese. Perhaps there really was a grain of truth to the “Anti-Lina Conspiracy” after all?
Lina: What... the fuck? How did you and Buster not catch this shit?
Jamie: It was very, shall we say, carefully worded, and, if you remember, the Orochi-O’s representative at the time was quick to hand the contract to you and keep it out of our hands. Afterwards, they did all they could to keep us from getting a copy of this contract, throwing a number of legal and clerical hurdles in our way. This was the first opportunity we’ve gotten since the initial transaction to carefully look the whole document over.
Lina: So... what now?
Jamie: I’m not quite sure how to put this. That non-compete clause, should it take effect, would effectively ban you from SWA competition. You would be unable to compete in the Queen of SWA tournament, and ineligible to become the first SWA Joshi Champion.
Lina starts to protest, but Jamie lifts a finger to cut her off.
Jamie: Let me finish. On review of this contract, Bill and I both agreed that there were loopholes in it a mile wide. I believe he called it “Battier than batshit.” Lynn, whether you believe it or not, you are very important to us, and to this company. We can and will fight this battle to keep you, but I need your assurance that you’ll be on the same page with us. I need to know that your attention is here, on SWA, not with Eris Byrne, not with OG-Joshi, and not with Ruby Moreno and Destiny. Promise me that we have your loyalty.
Jamie offers his hand to be shaken. Lina considers it for a long moment.
Lina: Done. Under one condition: Promise me that you’ll find a way to get a final match with Eris Byrne. If you get me that, I agree.
Jamie: Provided that really is the end of all this, I will do everything in my considerable power to make it happen.
There is a long moment as Lina stares at Jamie, seemingly evaluating his last statement. Finally, she accepts the handshake.
Jamie: Excellent. In the mean time, I promise you that you will be competing in the Queen of SWA tournament. If Orochi Geese or Ruby Moreno or anybody else wants to challenge us on that, I’ll be more than happy to take them to court. I’ll be pulling for you in that tournament, Lynn.
Lina: Psh. I bet you’ve said that to all the girls in the locker room.
Lina's words are kidding but there is a sense of genuine emotion behind the statement. Jamie smiles enigmatically as Lina turns to leave and we Fade To Black.