The Future
Oct 28, 2011 16:03:58 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Oct 28, 2011 16:03:58 GMT -5
Do not read this post until you see the "Orochi Geese Funeral show."
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Ok, you read it?
Sure?
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Let me speak on this.
*Throws shoe*
*Pays store $10 for breaking window.*
*Stops making more superfluous spoiler space*
"OG-FPD: Immortal" will be the final formal show I run for a long time, perhaps ever.
This isn't a "break", it's an intended finale.
While I have set things up with the "future" of each fed so that I could return fairly easily to any one of them, I don't really see myself doing it. I just wanted to give them scripted plans for the future so that they will continue on fictionally. I just won't be writing them.
Let me just say that I am NOT leaving the FP community as a whole. But I no longer will be running my own feds as a continuous activity nor will I have nearly as much time as I used to for other feds. There will be more on that later but I wanted to make it clear this wasn't my "This is my final post in this community" post.
There are two reasons I'm going to be ending my feds:
A) Burn out: I don't have the desire to continue doing things the way I was doing them. As I've made very clear (perhaps obnoxiously so) over the last few months, I'm done with watching multiple FPR videos. That's why Immortal has only five matches.
The only reason I am doing this "Final Stretch" (Funeral, RP's, and Immortal) is because I love my feds and characters enough to give them a proper ending. AND if I wait any longer to make the choice to end things, i don't think I would have enough energy and time to end it properly (and even this finale is pushing it.) This end is a compromise but I'd rather end things with the energy and plans I have now then let my major stories go without any resolution and just fade.
That's my remaining regret: the characters and stories. I don't want to let them go. The videos? I'm done with. I've simmed FPD/FPR since 2002 and probably have simmed (and resimmed...and resimmed again) more video matches for formal shows then the vast majority of people. It gets to the point where I can't "wait for the right winners to win" and I'm also just bored of the engine itself. While I still can sit back and watch an occasional match with no set winner in mind, I can no longer try to get the right winners. And I don't believe in doing "first sims" due to the unreliability of the FPR engine itself and how it can hurt stories.
And like I said, the characters and stories has been what has kept me going at all since December when I was considering ending things after Ragnarok. I was pretty close to doing it then cause I got overwhelmed by a bunch of things. But the awesome feedback for that show not only delighted me but actually re-ignited my motivation for another 8 months.
I know it seems that I could keep things going without video and perhaps at a lighter pace. But it's difficult to keep ANY coherent pace with three feds and major stories going on in each. (And I can't keep one fed and get rid of another, I really do love them each equally even if UBL got more attention.) Even if I did all text shows, even with the new fun I was having with picture programs, the whole thing just got to be too much mentally. I pretty much wrote myself into a corner with developing three feds and various subdivisions. It's not just burn-out, its pretty much a total overload. And you know the old saying, too much of anything isn't a good thing.
Especially when there are other things you want and need to be doing. Which brings me to:
B) "RL First": For years I've told people who were considering ending a fed (or already did) that "Real Life" (which is kind of a patronizing phrase but really just means "non Fire Pro/non message board activities") should come first and they shouldn't feel guilty about ending or exiting a promotion even if they loved it. Every time I said it (and meant it), I wondered when I was going to make that choice for myself. I dreaded it. Over the last year, ever since December 2010, I saw that decision looming closer. This summer it became both easy and necessary for me to admit to myself that I simply can't do this anymore. When I stopped dreading the decision to end my feds and felt relieved, I knew it was time.
I have other things going on that I am choosing to focus on. And like Elwood once said when he took a break from e-fedding, this isn't always a question of "all or none", it's a question of sometimes being unable to concentrate on doing other stuff when there's that fed "drive" permanently installed in your head. I understand that a lot more now then I did then. It's almost impossible for me to write anything non-fed related when there is fed stuff I want to write, especially given my years of prioritizing the fed stuff. Part of this is due to habit but the other part is the love I have for it that eventually made me choose it as a habit. Having it in the back of my mind is almost impossible. It refuses the back burner cause I love doing it so much. Even when I'm actually a bit burned out, my mind still loves playing out the storylines. So even if I was just writing with no videos, it would stick in my mind and dominate my time.
Even a tiny spark (like, ironically, all the time I've spent the last two months putting this "finale" in motion) threatens to bring me back into it full time. It's hard to resist. It's impossible to resist when it relates to my own feds cause of the way things are interrelated with shows and RP's. For other feds, when I don't control the pace, I can write one RP and not feel like I need to then write a show. But for my feds, I do. It's too ingrained. I can't resist it otherwise. The threshold is too low and too easy to step over accidentally. I have to operate below that threshold which means I have to aim even further below it (kinda like to break a wooden board you have to aim past it, not directly at it. Karate teaches life lessons.)
But I have to resist it now. And it just happens to be a lucky coincidence that this Autumn has brought together some e-fed fatigue/burn out AND a new "RL" opportunity for me to pursue. Plus, there really are other games I'd like to play more often that I haven't had the time for (now and in the past) cause of what I've felt to be "work" with my feds. I need my free time for easy relaxation more now then I did before. Really, I can no longer have such a demanding (despite rewarding) hobby right now. I need something lighter like KOF or SF and occasionally playing/simming FPR with no need to post videos or write stuff.
So, what now?
1) I will be revealing the card for Immortal in the next week. There are only five matches and three of them are for Titles. I simply can't include as many wrestlers as I'd like to. (Trying to stop this finale show from spiraling out of control was a challenge in itself that really proved to me I needed to end all this.) But I hope that my increased efforts to get you guys booked during and Ragnarok shows how much I've appreciated your participation. And I would really hope that, throughout all this, the one constant has been you guys knowing how much I enjoy working with you. Whether the quality of the shows or videos were to your liking, I've always strived to make my feedback to your comments and concerns a top priority. I've been in feds now for 9 years and I really do believe that communication is one of the best routes to enjoyment.
Even those who are not booked on Immortal are welcome to RP about these events and their future so they can wrap their time up here. Wrestlers who are here AND in other feds don't really need to "leave a record" of where they are going next. But if you've been in one of my feds for a while and have a long standing relationship with it, or are in a rivalry that didn't have the chance to end, it might be cool to bring some closure to it. You can do it before or after Immortal.
My message boards, blogs, and videos will remain up for a while. I'll still want to post my OG-FPD shows somewhere so I'll probably make a new forum for non-kayfabe shows.
2) I made the decision to shift gears and wrap things up in late August. One consequence was finding myself with three partially finished but now obsolete shows that I had been working on during the summer:
OG-Joshi Destiny Unknown (super LOL at the title given the current situation)
UBL September Circuit show
LAWL Summer SpectacuLAWLer
Once I booked Immortal, I made the decision not to finish or post them as official shows. But due to the work already put in as well as some really entertaining matches, I'll be posting them after Immortal as "What if?" shows. OctoberRaven did a particularly awesome Gutter/Judy Bones write-up for Destiny Unknown that needs to be released to the world. So I guess I'll be weaning us all off the action slowlo after Immortal.
3) A while after Immortal, it's possible I run random shows under the OG-FPD banner. These would be non-story cards that I don't have to write or maintain any continuity for. Think of it like a non story O's TV show. They'd pretty much just be sims of existing and new edits from all three of my feds. Maybe some dream matches that never happened in story. I'll probably be treating my own edits and stories in a way similar to how I did my OG-FPD edits prior to making the fed public. Running my own story lines in my head along with random sims and not writing stuff down. I still love pro wrestling, I still love FPR, and I still really love the O's edit pack we have all put together. No way that is being forgotten or dropped.
4) Other feds: I'm not leaving. But I'll be contributing a lot less substance. (and probably less long posts!)
FPCPP: Furis is now retired. Geese is having one final match at Immortal and then will retire. I'll be submitting a new edit to FPCPP that will not require a lot of RP's or involved storylines. I won't have the time to RP for my feds and I will have limited time to RP for others.
For feds other then FPCPP: I won't say I won't promo again. But it will be a lot more random. Like, not talked about a lot through PM's/emails. More like I get a random idea one day and just write it. I understand and accept if RP'ing less means my edits will be booked less.
There is an option I'll be open to using: If you want an RP from a character of mine, write the narrative/dialogue of the promo and then send it to me so I can add "characterization" of my character. That way my characters can RP, the story will be relevant to your needs, and I won't have that much to do. OctRaven and I often did that for the specific Gutter/MJC promos. He wrote just about all of them but I "Meanified" Jean's parts. But please don't send me these things every week. Cause if I'm getting even one of these per fed in a week, it adds up. Also, if you have an idea for an angle/story, definitely send it to me. Just realize that if I feel it may be too much involvement for me, I may decline. But I'm always open to hearing suggestions.
5) Other shows: This is indirectly related to all the above. I get PM's pretty often asking me to check out other people's shows. Or asking me to help them with capping. I'm gonna have to put an end to the capping. When it comes to people asking me to watch their shows or comment: It's not a slight on your matches or stories if I don't want to watch FPR when I'm not in the mood. Too much of it bores me and that doesn't make either of us happy. And even if its a show not heavy on FPR, I still have to be in the mood for it. It's still an entertainment choice against other options I have and my mood matters. If it starts becoming "homework" to watch other people's shows, then being around isn't fun for me and I burn out on all things FPR/E-feds quicker. If my edit is on your show, chances are I'll get to that match just out of sheer courtesy (for you booking my edit) and curiosity of wanting to see how he does.
I will not be joining any new feds from here on out so attempting to book my guys to get me to watch more matches will not work, LOL.
I may not check out every match or every angle on that show. The whole point of this post is to demonstrate that I need to approach this community with more flexibility and freedom. So I'm just asking for patience and understanding about my level of burn out and not wanting things to feel like a chore. I'd like to think that I haven't actually pressured anyone to watch my shows. If I have, I truly apologize. I'm just asking for the same courtesy I've tried to extend.
Anyway, to end things on a more upbeat and positive note. By the time Immortal airs, it will be eight years of me maintaining public feds with OG-FPD then OG-Joshi then LAWL then UBL. I don't regret spending one moment doing this. And running the feds, writing shows and RP's has helped me in surprising and indescribable ways. I've done this now for one quarter of my life span. It's pretty crazy when I put it in those terms but this hobby was a career I loved that I didn't get paid for. If we were getting paid for this, things might be different. And if e-feds ever become profitable, expect Geese to corner the market (along with Level probably!). But, as Charles Langford would say, continuing to do this just isn't in the cards for me anymore.
And as Orochi Geese would say, the only constant is change. Entropy increases. The universe tends towards chaos. And now, so shall I.
- Orochi Geese
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Ok, you read it?
Sure?
...
...
...
...
Let me speak on this.
*Throws shoe*
*Pays store $10 for breaking window.*
*Stops making more superfluous spoiler space*
"OG-FPD: Immortal" will be the final formal show I run for a long time, perhaps ever.
This isn't a "break", it's an intended finale.
While I have set things up with the "future" of each fed so that I could return fairly easily to any one of them, I don't really see myself doing it. I just wanted to give them scripted plans for the future so that they will continue on fictionally. I just won't be writing them.
Let me just say that I am NOT leaving the FP community as a whole. But I no longer will be running my own feds as a continuous activity nor will I have nearly as much time as I used to for other feds. There will be more on that later but I wanted to make it clear this wasn't my "This is my final post in this community" post.
There are two reasons I'm going to be ending my feds:
A) Burn out: I don't have the desire to continue doing things the way I was doing them. As I've made very clear (perhaps obnoxiously so) over the last few months, I'm done with watching multiple FPR videos. That's why Immortal has only five matches.
The only reason I am doing this "Final Stretch" (Funeral, RP's, and Immortal) is because I love my feds and characters enough to give them a proper ending. AND if I wait any longer to make the choice to end things, i don't think I would have enough energy and time to end it properly (and even this finale is pushing it.) This end is a compromise but I'd rather end things with the energy and plans I have now then let my major stories go without any resolution and just fade.
That's my remaining regret: the characters and stories. I don't want to let them go. The videos? I'm done with. I've simmed FPD/FPR since 2002 and probably have simmed (and resimmed...and resimmed again) more video matches for formal shows then the vast majority of people. It gets to the point where I can't "wait for the right winners to win" and I'm also just bored of the engine itself. While I still can sit back and watch an occasional match with no set winner in mind, I can no longer try to get the right winners. And I don't believe in doing "first sims" due to the unreliability of the FPR engine itself and how it can hurt stories.
And like I said, the characters and stories has been what has kept me going at all since December when I was considering ending things after Ragnarok. I was pretty close to doing it then cause I got overwhelmed by a bunch of things. But the awesome feedback for that show not only delighted me but actually re-ignited my motivation for another 8 months.
I know it seems that I could keep things going without video and perhaps at a lighter pace. But it's difficult to keep ANY coherent pace with three feds and major stories going on in each. (And I can't keep one fed and get rid of another, I really do love them each equally even if UBL got more attention.) Even if I did all text shows, even with the new fun I was having with picture programs, the whole thing just got to be too much mentally. I pretty much wrote myself into a corner with developing three feds and various subdivisions. It's not just burn-out, its pretty much a total overload. And you know the old saying, too much of anything isn't a good thing.
Especially when there are other things you want and need to be doing. Which brings me to:
B) "RL First": For years I've told people who were considering ending a fed (or already did) that "Real Life" (which is kind of a patronizing phrase but really just means "non Fire Pro/non message board activities") should come first and they shouldn't feel guilty about ending or exiting a promotion even if they loved it. Every time I said it (and meant it), I wondered when I was going to make that choice for myself. I dreaded it. Over the last year, ever since December 2010, I saw that decision looming closer. This summer it became both easy and necessary for me to admit to myself that I simply can't do this anymore. When I stopped dreading the decision to end my feds and felt relieved, I knew it was time.
I have other things going on that I am choosing to focus on. And like Elwood once said when he took a break from e-fedding, this isn't always a question of "all or none", it's a question of sometimes being unable to concentrate on doing other stuff when there's that fed "drive" permanently installed in your head. I understand that a lot more now then I did then. It's almost impossible for me to write anything non-fed related when there is fed stuff I want to write, especially given my years of prioritizing the fed stuff. Part of this is due to habit but the other part is the love I have for it that eventually made me choose it as a habit. Having it in the back of my mind is almost impossible. It refuses the back burner cause I love doing it so much. Even when I'm actually a bit burned out, my mind still loves playing out the storylines. So even if I was just writing with no videos, it would stick in my mind and dominate my time.
Even a tiny spark (like, ironically, all the time I've spent the last two months putting this "finale" in motion) threatens to bring me back into it full time. It's hard to resist. It's impossible to resist when it relates to my own feds cause of the way things are interrelated with shows and RP's. For other feds, when I don't control the pace, I can write one RP and not feel like I need to then write a show. But for my feds, I do. It's too ingrained. I can't resist it otherwise. The threshold is too low and too easy to step over accidentally. I have to operate below that threshold which means I have to aim even further below it (kinda like to break a wooden board you have to aim past it, not directly at it. Karate teaches life lessons.)
But I have to resist it now. And it just happens to be a lucky coincidence that this Autumn has brought together some e-fed fatigue/burn out AND a new "RL" opportunity for me to pursue. Plus, there really are other games I'd like to play more often that I haven't had the time for (now and in the past) cause of what I've felt to be "work" with my feds. I need my free time for easy relaxation more now then I did before. Really, I can no longer have such a demanding (despite rewarding) hobby right now. I need something lighter like KOF or SF and occasionally playing/simming FPR with no need to post videos or write stuff.
So, what now?
1) I will be revealing the card for Immortal in the next week. There are only five matches and three of them are for Titles. I simply can't include as many wrestlers as I'd like to. (Trying to stop this finale show from spiraling out of control was a challenge in itself that really proved to me I needed to end all this.) But I hope that my increased efforts to get you guys booked during and Ragnarok shows how much I've appreciated your participation. And I would really hope that, throughout all this, the one constant has been you guys knowing how much I enjoy working with you. Whether the quality of the shows or videos were to your liking, I've always strived to make my feedback to your comments and concerns a top priority. I've been in feds now for 9 years and I really do believe that communication is one of the best routes to enjoyment.
Even those who are not booked on Immortal are welcome to RP about these events and their future so they can wrap their time up here. Wrestlers who are here AND in other feds don't really need to "leave a record" of where they are going next. But if you've been in one of my feds for a while and have a long standing relationship with it, or are in a rivalry that didn't have the chance to end, it might be cool to bring some closure to it. You can do it before or after Immortal.
My message boards, blogs, and videos will remain up for a while. I'll still want to post my OG-FPD shows somewhere so I'll probably make a new forum for non-kayfabe shows.
2) I made the decision to shift gears and wrap things up in late August. One consequence was finding myself with three partially finished but now obsolete shows that I had been working on during the summer:
OG-Joshi Destiny Unknown (super LOL at the title given the current situation)
UBL September Circuit show
LAWL Summer SpectacuLAWLer
Once I booked Immortal, I made the decision not to finish or post them as official shows. But due to the work already put in as well as some really entertaining matches, I'll be posting them after Immortal as "What if?" shows. OctoberRaven did a particularly awesome Gutter/Judy Bones write-up for Destiny Unknown that needs to be released to the world. So I guess I'll be weaning us all off the action slowlo after Immortal.
3) A while after Immortal, it's possible I run random shows under the OG-FPD banner. These would be non-story cards that I don't have to write or maintain any continuity for. Think of it like a non story O's TV show. They'd pretty much just be sims of existing and new edits from all three of my feds. Maybe some dream matches that never happened in story. I'll probably be treating my own edits and stories in a way similar to how I did my OG-FPD edits prior to making the fed public. Running my own story lines in my head along with random sims and not writing stuff down. I still love pro wrestling, I still love FPR, and I still really love the O's edit pack we have all put together. No way that is being forgotten or dropped.
4) Other feds: I'm not leaving. But I'll be contributing a lot less substance. (and probably less long posts!)
FPCPP: Furis is now retired. Geese is having one final match at Immortal and then will retire. I'll be submitting a new edit to FPCPP that will not require a lot of RP's or involved storylines. I won't have the time to RP for my feds and I will have limited time to RP for others.
For feds other then FPCPP: I won't say I won't promo again. But it will be a lot more random. Like, not talked about a lot through PM's/emails. More like I get a random idea one day and just write it. I understand and accept if RP'ing less means my edits will be booked less.
There is an option I'll be open to using: If you want an RP from a character of mine, write the narrative/dialogue of the promo and then send it to me so I can add "characterization" of my character. That way my characters can RP, the story will be relevant to your needs, and I won't have that much to do. OctRaven and I often did that for the specific Gutter/MJC promos. He wrote just about all of them but I "Meanified" Jean's parts. But please don't send me these things every week. Cause if I'm getting even one of these per fed in a week, it adds up. Also, if you have an idea for an angle/story, definitely send it to me. Just realize that if I feel it may be too much involvement for me, I may decline. But I'm always open to hearing suggestions.
5) Other shows: This is indirectly related to all the above. I get PM's pretty often asking me to check out other people's shows. Or asking me to help them with capping. I'm gonna have to put an end to the capping. When it comes to people asking me to watch their shows or comment: It's not a slight on your matches or stories if I don't want to watch FPR when I'm not in the mood. Too much of it bores me and that doesn't make either of us happy. And even if its a show not heavy on FPR, I still have to be in the mood for it. It's still an entertainment choice against other options I have and my mood matters. If it starts becoming "homework" to watch other people's shows, then being around isn't fun for me and I burn out on all things FPR/E-feds quicker. If my edit is on your show, chances are I'll get to that match just out of sheer courtesy (for you booking my edit) and curiosity of wanting to see how he does.
I will not be joining any new feds from here on out so attempting to book my guys to get me to watch more matches will not work, LOL.
I may not check out every match or every angle on that show. The whole point of this post is to demonstrate that I need to approach this community with more flexibility and freedom. So I'm just asking for patience and understanding about my level of burn out and not wanting things to feel like a chore. I'd like to think that I haven't actually pressured anyone to watch my shows. If I have, I truly apologize. I'm just asking for the same courtesy I've tried to extend.
Anyway, to end things on a more upbeat and positive note. By the time Immortal airs, it will be eight years of me maintaining public feds with OG-FPD then OG-Joshi then LAWL then UBL. I don't regret spending one moment doing this. And running the feds, writing shows and RP's has helped me in surprising and indescribable ways. I've done this now for one quarter of my life span. It's pretty crazy when I put it in those terms but this hobby was a career I loved that I didn't get paid for. If we were getting paid for this, things might be different. And if e-feds ever become profitable, expect Geese to corner the market (along with Level probably!). But, as Charles Langford would say, continuing to do this just isn't in the cards for me anymore.
And as Orochi Geese would say, the only constant is change. Entropy increases. The universe tends towards chaos. And now, so shall I.
- Orochi Geese