(Re)Introducing the Hellions

[OrochiGeese]

*We fade in to the parking lot outside of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena. Hae-Won and Sako Dasumi are sitting on the curb and smoking. When they see the camera man approaching, Sako flings the cigarette at him and Hae-Won laughs.*

[CM:] "Hey, this is expensive equipment!"

*Sako points at his crotch and laughs*

[Sako:] "You tell that to your blow-up doll too?"

[Hae-Won:] "It's not his fault he had to pay for his package that nature didn't deliver."

[CM:] "That's hurtful. You're being hurtful."

[Hae-Won:] "Great. Another oversensitive jackass. OG-Joshi is full of them. Just when we get rid of our deadweights, little "Nomi" and "Keinaaaa!"

[Sako:] "KEINNNAAAA!"

*The next 10 seconds bring us Hae-Won and Sako trying to "out-Keinaaaaah" the other while laughing.*

[Hae-Won:] "Just when we're done with those Kenta-ball-licking-tweeny-boppers, we had to face Team Chuu Chuu."

[Sako:] "Seriously, who names these teams?"

[CM:] "Well at least they have a name."

*Sako stands up and gets dangerously close to the CM who steps back*

[Sako:] "Fuck you. That's your name now."

[Hae-Won:] What Sako meant to say is that we DO have a name. From now on, call us the Hellions. Know what that means?"

[CM:] "Ruffians, punks, miscreants, rabble-rousers..."

[Sako:] "Put the dictionary down, dipshit."

[CM:] "Wouldn't true punks not want to be labeled with a name?"

[Hae-Won:] "If you keep this shit up, we're gonna label the sidewalk with your mouth. Ever heard of a "smiley?"

[Sako:] "We're not talking the shit you put at the end of emails. It's the shit we do to you that ends your life."

*The CM gulps*

[Sako:] "And you're not the only one we want to teach some 'street justice' to. Chanel and Lorelai, you ask Chuu Chuu what happened to them at the last O's TV. Cause it's coming to you next."

[CM:] "I had heard rumors that you two are scheduled to face Chanel and Lorelai at one of the next O's TV episodes."

[Sako:] "They got into our business at the last Amplitude. Just when we gonna take out Chuu Chuu for good, they interfered. You two gonna pay for that."

[CM:] "You do realize Chanel and Lorelai almost won the OG-Joshi Tag Championships during the last Voltage. They were within a hair of doing it."

*Sako goes over and rips a small piece of hair out of the CN's head*

[Sako:] "This hair? Were they within this hair of doing it?"

[CM:] "You two aren't very pleasant."

[Hae-Won:] "It goes like this. Chanel and Lorelai, you two actually reminds me of Keina and Naomi. For all their yelling and mindless screaming, it's a lot like an old TV show."

[Sako:] "I bet this guy knows all about it, probably had his pants down when watching."

[CM:] "Uh?"

[Hae-Won:] "Xena: "Warrior Douchess." That's Lorelai."

[Sako:] "YAYAYAYAYAYA' real screamer like Keina."

[Hae-Won:] "And Xena's little talkative bitch, Gabriella, is a lot like Chanel and Naomi. Trying to be nice and make friends with people while Xena was crotch-riding her enemies."

[Sako:] "I bet they crotch-ride each other."

[Hae-Won:] "I bet this jackass would pay to see it."

[CM:] "Ok, I've had enough."

[Sako:] "When we SAY you have."

[Hae-Won:] "Xena, Gabriella, we don't care that you almost beat the Reed Sisters. We almost beat the Reed Sisters even before we dumped the KENTA shit. They're nothing. The Dods gonna devour them."

[Sako:] "Just like we gonna devour you two warrior douchesses. So let Hercules get his rocks off one more time with you both and we'll see you in the ring."

[Hae-Won:] "And if you bring your chakram-"

[Sako:] "We'll shock-ram it up your asses."

*Hae-Won stands up, throws her own cigarette at the Camera Man and walks off with Sako, laughing. After they leave...*

[CM:] "I think I actually miss the loud voice thing."