Holly: Sweet vs. Meat
Oct 17, 2010 19:07:43 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Oct 17, 2010 19:07:43 GMT -5
*Holly walks around a supermarket with a small basket of items: whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate pudding, and cucumbers (!). She is approaching the meat aisle which just happens to have some various snacks on the "impulse buy" section of the outside of the aisle. She picks up a small carton of cupcakes before she walks into the meat aisle. After rubbing some sausages against her body and putting them back, causing at least one shopper to vomit on the floor...
[Holly:] "Cleanup in aisle 3!"
*She finds the section where Spam is semi-proudly displayed and takes a can. She then holds up the cupcakes she grabbed before and reads the labels on both packages she has in her hands.*
[Holly:] "I was recently referred to as the 'spam' of OG-Joshi and contrasted with "cupcakes" by a certain Coach who looks like she had her fill of them. Jean, those thighs don't trim themselves and from what I remember of you at the Holiday Banquet, you don't trim them either. A little tan wouldn't hurt you also but we're in the supermarket and not the salon, and I really don't have all decade to get you from "gross" to "glam." Anyway...
*Holly looks at the cupcakes again.*
[Holly:] "I think it's fitting that you extolled the virtues of these thigh-softening monsters. Because really, it's all you are:
Empty calories.
There's no nutrition here, Jean. No substance.
It's just sugar. Just taste. No protein, nothing that can really fill a person up.
It's fleeting, just like your promises. Hollow, just like your threats.
If someone was starving, they wouldn't satiate their hunger with cupcakes without feeling sick and bloated afterward.
*She nods and then an expression of deep thought finds its way on her face.*
[Holly:] "As much as I didn't like the way my parents brought me up, at least they fed me right. See, kids need parents to make certain decisions for them. Because all the kids wants are cupcakes and ice cream and other sugary crap, but parents know they need protein. And even if the kids don't like it, the fact is that Spam will get the job done way better then cupcakes. It lasts longer, it has actual nutrition. It can sustain people. Now, I don't particularly care for Spam itself...
*Holly looks at the package of Spam and turns a bit green*
[Holly:] "But I'd much rather be compared to something with substance then without. I'd much rather be the 'twisted' person that OG-Joshi needs and doesn't want then the popular hero that OG-Joshi loves but continues to starve because of. I'd rather be the hated dictator that actually keeps the food in production then the figurehead who tries to feed its malnourished populace with smiles, hope, and 'good feelings.'
You want to talk about incentives for the wrestlers, toots? How about them keeping their damn jobs. Cause the way you've started to run things, the fans are gonna get bored real quick. Shitting on the main events of Ragnarok: the biggest show of the year? Brilliant move. Really gonna keep the fans interested. Really gonna keep food on the table for all of us. You keep pushing your sugary diet of "pure competition" and "happy rivalries" over the red meat that Geese and I offer, and we'll all have to subsist on Orochi-O's for every meal and only that."
*Holly winces for a second and then suddenly adopts a very TV-friendly advertising voice.*
[Holly:] "Of course, Orochi-O's has more then your recommended Daily Allowance of nutrition and you should all continue buying it by the truckload! But the point is, Jean, you keep ruining the diets of our wrestlers and fans, none of us will have anything left. Your jobs, the wrestlers' jobs, the fans entertainment. All gone, just because of the diet you have us on.
Especially the grownups. For little kids like Azumi Oonishi or Yoshi Hattori, they may eat up whatever you give them. But I'm not a kid. I can't even buy the illusion that cupcakes create. So you know what they taste like to me?"
*Holly takes a bite out of one of the cupcakes and spits it out.*
[Holly:] "Long term failure. And we can't afford any more of that. OG-Joshi is starving right now. Starving for leadership. It's not entirely your fault, of course. Celes is the one that initially caused our famine. You were just unlucky enough to take over the kitchen after her. But now, all you offer are cupcakes. A bright smile, some frilly words. What it amounts to is sugary emptiness and everyone backstage knows it. Whether they admit it or not shows their level of maturity. But those that do KNOW that your leadership is based on a fantasy. Like cupcakes.
Because I can answer your question about why the world is the way it is. The reason cupcakes go bad after a few days is because there was never anything in them that was meant to last. They are a brief diversion. Just like you are, Jean. Once Geese gets tired of his little cupcake Coach Carter, he'll throw you out with no regrets other then some brief buyer's remorse. And then he'll hire someone the fans and wrestlers don't like, but need.
Just like spam. Spam can last and sustain for years, Jean. But you, I doubt you're expiration date goes past 2010. If OG-Joshi sticks with you, the only two words it will have left are "food poisoning."
Happy shopping, everyone!
*Holly tosses the cupcakes on the floor, puts the spam down, and goes over to find a better cut of meat before leaving. Meanwhile like a dozen kids yell out CUPCAKES and run to the ones on the floor before their parents stop them.*
[Holly:] "Cleanup in aisle 3!"
*She finds the section where Spam is semi-proudly displayed and takes a can. She then holds up the cupcakes she grabbed before and reads the labels on both packages she has in her hands.*
[Holly:] "I was recently referred to as the 'spam' of OG-Joshi and contrasted with "cupcakes" by a certain Coach who looks like she had her fill of them. Jean, those thighs don't trim themselves and from what I remember of you at the Holiday Banquet, you don't trim them either. A little tan wouldn't hurt you also but we're in the supermarket and not the salon, and I really don't have all decade to get you from "gross" to "glam." Anyway...
*Holly looks at the cupcakes again.*
[Holly:] "I think it's fitting that you extolled the virtues of these thigh-softening monsters. Because really, it's all you are:
Empty calories.
There's no nutrition here, Jean. No substance.
It's just sugar. Just taste. No protein, nothing that can really fill a person up.
It's fleeting, just like your promises. Hollow, just like your threats.
If someone was starving, they wouldn't satiate their hunger with cupcakes without feeling sick and bloated afterward.
*She nods and then an expression of deep thought finds its way on her face.*
[Holly:] "As much as I didn't like the way my parents brought me up, at least they fed me right. See, kids need parents to make certain decisions for them. Because all the kids wants are cupcakes and ice cream and other sugary crap, but parents know they need protein. And even if the kids don't like it, the fact is that Spam will get the job done way better then cupcakes. It lasts longer, it has actual nutrition. It can sustain people. Now, I don't particularly care for Spam itself...
*Holly looks at the package of Spam and turns a bit green*
[Holly:] "But I'd much rather be compared to something with substance then without. I'd much rather be the 'twisted' person that OG-Joshi needs and doesn't want then the popular hero that OG-Joshi loves but continues to starve because of. I'd rather be the hated dictator that actually keeps the food in production then the figurehead who tries to feed its malnourished populace with smiles, hope, and 'good feelings.'
You want to talk about incentives for the wrestlers, toots? How about them keeping their damn jobs. Cause the way you've started to run things, the fans are gonna get bored real quick. Shitting on the main events of Ragnarok: the biggest show of the year? Brilliant move. Really gonna keep the fans interested. Really gonna keep food on the table for all of us. You keep pushing your sugary diet of "pure competition" and "happy rivalries" over the red meat that Geese and I offer, and we'll all have to subsist on Orochi-O's for every meal and only that."
*Holly winces for a second and then suddenly adopts a very TV-friendly advertising voice.*
[Holly:] "Of course, Orochi-O's has more then your recommended Daily Allowance of nutrition and you should all continue buying it by the truckload! But the point is, Jean, you keep ruining the diets of our wrestlers and fans, none of us will have anything left. Your jobs, the wrestlers' jobs, the fans entertainment. All gone, just because of the diet you have us on.
Especially the grownups. For little kids like Azumi Oonishi or Yoshi Hattori, they may eat up whatever you give them. But I'm not a kid. I can't even buy the illusion that cupcakes create. So you know what they taste like to me?"
*Holly takes a bite out of one of the cupcakes and spits it out.*
[Holly:] "Long term failure. And we can't afford any more of that. OG-Joshi is starving right now. Starving for leadership. It's not entirely your fault, of course. Celes is the one that initially caused our famine. You were just unlucky enough to take over the kitchen after her. But now, all you offer are cupcakes. A bright smile, some frilly words. What it amounts to is sugary emptiness and everyone backstage knows it. Whether they admit it or not shows their level of maturity. But those that do KNOW that your leadership is based on a fantasy. Like cupcakes.
Because I can answer your question about why the world is the way it is. The reason cupcakes go bad after a few days is because there was never anything in them that was meant to last. They are a brief diversion. Just like you are, Jean. Once Geese gets tired of his little cupcake Coach Carter, he'll throw you out with no regrets other then some brief buyer's remorse. And then he'll hire someone the fans and wrestlers don't like, but need.
Just like spam. Spam can last and sustain for years, Jean. But you, I doubt you're expiration date goes past 2010. If OG-Joshi sticks with you, the only two words it will have left are "food poisoning."
Happy shopping, everyone!
*Holly tosses the cupcakes on the floor, puts the spam down, and goes over to find a better cut of meat before leaving. Meanwhile like a dozen kids yell out CUPCAKES and run to the ones on the floor before their parents stop them.*