Might as well face it, I'm addicted to hate.
Jan 16, 2010 6:11:47 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jan 16, 2010 6:11:47 GMT -5
*We fade in to Alicia Gordon standing in front of an OG-Joshi banner. She is wearing a gray "Property of LAWL" t-shirt and black Adidas pants and looks calmer then we've seen her in a while.*
[Alicia:] "A lot has happened these last few years. I feel I owe you all, my fans and non-fans alike, an explanation. I didn't ever want you to see me like I've been. I've never wanted to see myself like I've been. I don't know if I can apologize, or even who to. It's just that... for the longest time all I've felt has been rage and pain but recently, there's been some hope mixed in too: Thanks to Marie, Sabonim, and the General. That's why I came back to wrestle at Renaissance. Even though I didn't win, I feel like at least it was for the right reasons. I wasn't ready for my competition but at least I tried, even if I didn't have a full appreciation of what I was trying for. I knew it was the right thing to strive for and since then, it's been slowly sinking in even more. But that pursuit of gold, what it stands for, is starting to mean something again. In fact, I'm back in LAWL too, aiming for the OMG Title and I guess that's a step forward..."
[Alicia:] "I've also been seeing some one...
*Alicia suddenly blushes and then wrings her hands*
[Alicia:] "No no, it's not like that. It's a therapist. See, I have some anger issues. And not just cause Holly and Juli tried to end my career. The doctor said my anger was normal there. It's not really the anger itself that's the problem, it's the fact I can't let it go. That I let it consume my life. That I became addicted to it. Not resolving it, but finding new things to be angry about, to be sleighted over. Cause as time went on and I couldn't eliminate Holly, the anger attached itself to my entire life. I couldn't let go and move on, I had to fulfill that craving of hatred. Holly and Juli were still the main targets but anyone who even remotely sleighted me got added to my list. As much as I hated to admit it, I liked the anger. To the point where I became a target on that same list. Once I got to that point, what I did..and almost did...hardly mattered to me. I hated myself so why live up to any standards? Or shoot for any positive objectives? The more people I could bring down and be angry about, even if it was myself, the more satisfied I felt."
*A few tears roll down Alicia's cheek.*
[Alicia:] "I guess I should apologize to myself for that but I don't even know how. I do know how to thank those who helped see me through it. And for them, and for me, all I can do is move forwards. The only way I can get my life back is to remember what gave me joy, remember what meant something to me before my anger took control. And so what I want to do right now is make an open challenge."
[Alicia:] "If you're a wrestler in OG-Joshi and you want to win our World Title, I want to face you at the next Voltage. Celes says I'm a top contender for the Title but with all due respect, I don't believe her. I haven't truly earned that status yet. The only reason I ever got a shot at the Title last year was because of my hatred of Holly, not my own abilities. Kat Black - she's a top contender. She earned it through in ring competition. Just like Visper did before she became Champion. But me, I got my Title shot based on who I hated and how much I did, not on who or how many I defeated. That has to change. So if you have what it takes, I want to see if I can overcome it. And if I can't, at least it's a step in the right direction."
[Alicia:] "Visper, I have no right or claim to challenge you now cause I'm not ready. But I also have no right to be in OG-Joshi and not want to challenge you. It would be disrespectful if you and your Title weren't my ultimate target now. But before I get a chance, I have to prove to myself and everyone else that I deserve that shot. And just for the record...watching you make Holly tap out...thanks for that. Not just cause of her getting what she deserved for badmouthing and underestimating you, but cause watching that Title leave her waist and go onto yours was like shifting the anger I felt to hope. The General was right about Renaissance, I think the dark age is finally starting to clear up....
*Alicia slowly smiles a somewhat strained but genuine smile.*
[Alicia:] "I'm ready to take the next step to ensure that on a personal level."
*Alicia nods and walks off the screen. Fade out*
[Alicia:] "A lot has happened these last few years. I feel I owe you all, my fans and non-fans alike, an explanation. I didn't ever want you to see me like I've been. I've never wanted to see myself like I've been. I don't know if I can apologize, or even who to. It's just that... for the longest time all I've felt has been rage and pain but recently, there's been some hope mixed in too: Thanks to Marie, Sabonim, and the General. That's why I came back to wrestle at Renaissance. Even though I didn't win, I feel like at least it was for the right reasons. I wasn't ready for my competition but at least I tried, even if I didn't have a full appreciation of what I was trying for. I knew it was the right thing to strive for and since then, it's been slowly sinking in even more. But that pursuit of gold, what it stands for, is starting to mean something again. In fact, I'm back in LAWL too, aiming for the OMG Title and I guess that's a step forward..."
[Alicia:] "I've also been seeing some one...
*Alicia suddenly blushes and then wrings her hands*
[Alicia:] "No no, it's not like that. It's a therapist. See, I have some anger issues. And not just cause Holly and Juli tried to end my career. The doctor said my anger was normal there. It's not really the anger itself that's the problem, it's the fact I can't let it go. That I let it consume my life. That I became addicted to it. Not resolving it, but finding new things to be angry about, to be sleighted over. Cause as time went on and I couldn't eliminate Holly, the anger attached itself to my entire life. I couldn't let go and move on, I had to fulfill that craving of hatred. Holly and Juli were still the main targets but anyone who even remotely sleighted me got added to my list. As much as I hated to admit it, I liked the anger. To the point where I became a target on that same list. Once I got to that point, what I did..and almost did...hardly mattered to me. I hated myself so why live up to any standards? Or shoot for any positive objectives? The more people I could bring down and be angry about, even if it was myself, the more satisfied I felt."
*A few tears roll down Alicia's cheek.*
[Alicia:] "I guess I should apologize to myself for that but I don't even know how. I do know how to thank those who helped see me through it. And for them, and for me, all I can do is move forwards. The only way I can get my life back is to remember what gave me joy, remember what meant something to me before my anger took control. And so what I want to do right now is make an open challenge."
[Alicia:] "If you're a wrestler in OG-Joshi and you want to win our World Title, I want to face you at the next Voltage. Celes says I'm a top contender for the Title but with all due respect, I don't believe her. I haven't truly earned that status yet. The only reason I ever got a shot at the Title last year was because of my hatred of Holly, not my own abilities. Kat Black - she's a top contender. She earned it through in ring competition. Just like Visper did before she became Champion. But me, I got my Title shot based on who I hated and how much I did, not on who or how many I defeated. That has to change. So if you have what it takes, I want to see if I can overcome it. And if I can't, at least it's a step in the right direction."
[Alicia:] "Visper, I have no right or claim to challenge you now cause I'm not ready. But I also have no right to be in OG-Joshi and not want to challenge you. It would be disrespectful if you and your Title weren't my ultimate target now. But before I get a chance, I have to prove to myself and everyone else that I deserve that shot. And just for the record...watching you make Holly tap out...thanks for that. Not just cause of her getting what she deserved for badmouthing and underestimating you, but cause watching that Title leave her waist and go onto yours was like shifting the anger I felt to hope. The General was right about Renaissance, I think the dark age is finally starting to clear up....
*Alicia slowly smiles a somewhat strained but genuine smile.*
[Alicia:] "I'm ready to take the next step to ensure that on a personal level."
*Alicia nods and walks off the screen. Fade out*