Lina: Whoop-Ass and... Barbie Dolls?
May 9, 2009 2:01:15 GMT -5
Post by unimportantguy on May 9, 2009 2:01:15 GMT -5
We come up on Lina, sitting in an empty arena, mopping her sweaty brow with a towel. Around her are all the signs of a recent wrestling show - ring being broken down, all manner of detritus in the stands, and the pervading and eerie quiet of an arena that was filled with cheering only minutes ago. Lina nods at the camera as we hear her friend Sydney say "Aaand... now."
Lina: So that's how it's gonna be, huh, Eris? Well, you can make all the excuses ya want, but I call 'em like I see 'em. And even if what yer sayin' is true, lemme tell you somethin'. I don't know how they get shit done where you come from, but where I come from...
She gestures to a Sierra Wrestling All-Stars banner in the background
Lina: ...Where I come from, when we have a beef with someone, we take care of it in the ring, with wrestling matches.
Sydney: That's not strictly true, Li. Remember the time you...
Lina: I'm making a point here, dammit.
Lina waves irritably at the camera.
Lina: The point is, what we don't do is we don't attack people after the bell and then act like it was no thing. That's why I came down there at the end of Amplitude with an ass-whoopin' to hand to you. 'Cause where I come from, there's consequences for actin' like an asshole. I oughtta know, I been one enough times in my life.
Lina hangs her head for a moment, letting out all breath in a big exhalation.
Lina: Point is, you want my attention you come to me. Hell, I woulda been in the office with you, campaignin' like hell to have a rematch. We fuckin' rocked it in that ring. And trust me, I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be.
Sydney lets out a snort from behind the camera. Lina shoots her a "shut up" glare.
Lina: Look, none of this shit really matters. All I gotta say is this. I'm comin' to Rennaissance, and I'm bringin' a truckload a' whoop-ass with me. Let's both show OG Joshi what we're capable of. Without the bitch tactics.
Lina reaches over next to her and picks up what appears to be a Lina action figure. Or maybe it's a re-painted Barbie doll. Hard to tell.
Lina: And by the fuckin' way. Since I know this is the only way I'm gettin' this out here. Seriously, merch guys. Seriously? Look at this thing. How exactly do these (she points at the doll's chest) Compare to these? (She grabs her own breast to emphasize the point.) Seriously. Do some fuckin' research.
Sydney: Li, you do realize this is for broadcast, right?
Lina: So?
We hear a resigned sigh from Sydney as we cut to black.
Lina: So that's how it's gonna be, huh, Eris? Well, you can make all the excuses ya want, but I call 'em like I see 'em. And even if what yer sayin' is true, lemme tell you somethin'. I don't know how they get shit done where you come from, but where I come from...
She gestures to a Sierra Wrestling All-Stars banner in the background
Lina: ...Where I come from, when we have a beef with someone, we take care of it in the ring, with wrestling matches.
Sydney: That's not strictly true, Li. Remember the time you...
Lina: I'm making a point here, dammit.
Lina waves irritably at the camera.
Lina: The point is, what we don't do is we don't attack people after the bell and then act like it was no thing. That's why I came down there at the end of Amplitude with an ass-whoopin' to hand to you. 'Cause where I come from, there's consequences for actin' like an asshole. I oughtta know, I been one enough times in my life.
Lina hangs her head for a moment, letting out all breath in a big exhalation.
Lina: Point is, you want my attention you come to me. Hell, I woulda been in the office with you, campaignin' like hell to have a rematch. We fuckin' rocked it in that ring. And trust me, I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be.
Sydney lets out a snort from behind the camera. Lina shoots her a "shut up" glare.
Lina: Look, none of this shit really matters. All I gotta say is this. I'm comin' to Rennaissance, and I'm bringin' a truckload a' whoop-ass with me. Let's both show OG Joshi what we're capable of. Without the bitch tactics.
Lina reaches over next to her and picks up what appears to be a Lina action figure. Or maybe it's a re-painted Barbie doll. Hard to tell.
Lina: And by the fuckin' way. Since I know this is the only way I'm gettin' this out here. Seriously, merch guys. Seriously? Look at this thing. How exactly do these (she points at the doll's chest) Compare to these? (She grabs her own breast to emphasize the point.) Seriously. Do some fuckin' research.
Sydney: Li, you do realize this is for broadcast, right?
Lina: So?
We hear a resigned sigh from Sydney as we cut to black.