Amplitude - April 2009

[OrochiGeese]

OG-Joshi Amplitude: April 2009 - "Renaissance Road!"
Location: Peter Venkman Memorial Arena, New York, New York!

Welcome fans to the final Amplitude before OG-Joshi Renaissance!! There haven't been any Amplitude matches booked for the PPV yet and one would believe TONIGHT that will be rectified!

General Celes "Casts PROMO 3"
Celes comes out to start the show and has a crystal microphone! (How many GP was that, you ask? None of your damn business! She worked for it!) But let's hear what she has to say!

[Celes:] "Greetings everyone. Tonight I am here to announce two matches so that the Amplitude brand can participate at the OG-Joshi Renaissance PPV. The two women on the roster that recently hold the best win/loss records and impressive performances are Jenna Stone and Kristin Blade. As such, I would like to reward them with a chance to represent Amplitude and face each other at the PPV. While there is no specific incentive to winning that match besides bragging rights, I remind everyone that there is currently a title vacuum on this brand, one that I will not allow to exist for much longer. So it behooves Jenna and Kristin to fight hard and, for one of them, to obtain victory on such a grand stage and remain in my sight."

[Celes:] "The next order of business concerns the OG-Joshi Tag Championships. Just as I have put together a Battle Royale at the PPV to name the #1 Contender after Visper wins the World Title, I would also like to determine the #1 Contenders to the Tag Titles after J*NiGHT face the Dods. And I am looking to the Amplitude brand to do so. Tonight there will be a mini-tournament and the two teams that advance will go to the PPV and face each other to be the new #1 contenders. KENTA! Army will face Yoyo Banzai and DARKNESS Diva in one match and the Reed Sisters will face Team Chuu Chuu in the other."

*Celes presses her earpiece to her head as if she was getting a message. She listens, nods, says something that the mic doesn't pick up, and then continues her speech to the audience.*

[Celes:] "I remind those that have not yet been scheduled for Renaissance that my eyes remain open for matches. Furthermore, we have an approaching influx of new recruits that will be joining Amplitude after Renaissance so I suggest everyone is focused on earning your spot so as not to be lost in the shuffle."

*Celes walks backstage with a brisk pace and an earnest look.*


Reed Sisters vs. Team Chuu Chuu

Melody/Harmony vs. Yuri/Yaoi

The Reed Sisters were all business here and, short of shaking the hands of their opponents, were clearly just here to win this match and make it to the PPV. But seeing as this was Team Chuu Chuu's debut match on Amplitude, they were a lot more festive!! Like..."Let's Para Para dance the night away, baby" festive! The Reed Sisters didn't really know how to respond to this, aside from sighing at each other and mouthing something about "KENTA Army version 2" but Melody began to wrestle and Yuri had no choice but to oblige.

It didn't work out so well for Yuri who's main aerial offense wasn't so effective when she was being twisted in knots by Melody. Yuri seemed completely confused as to what to do besides respond to Yaoi's clapping support. Finally Melody let her tag out and the more technically sound Yaoi came in. She put up a better effort against Melody but was still clearly out-wrestled by one of the best mat tacticians in OG-Joshi today, Amplitude OR Voltage. However, the two Chuu-Chuu's (say THAT five times fast!) succeeded in getting Melody fatigued enough to tag out to Harmony. Harmony wasted no time in using her speed advantage to take Yaoi off-balance with arm drags and dropkicks, until Yaoi wisely tagged in Yuri.

And now things got downright insane! As this looked like a high-wire martial art film with the two speed demons running and flying around the ring! Yuri found her niche facing off with the slightly slower but stronger Harmony, but she still wasn't able to do much damage. Harmony, on the other hand began to wear down Yuri with her impressive kicking arsenal, with an emphasis on sweeps to take away Yuri's speed. Harmony took Yuri over to the Reed Sisters corner, tagged in Melody and then combined with her to hit the "Duet" (Total Elimination) on Yuri. Melody made the cover for the three count as Harmony fended off Yaoi.

Harmony/Melody (O) ["Duet" - 14:25] (X) Yuri/Yaoi


Gutter vs. Patty Sirloin

After what Gutter did to Hiromi at the previous show, Celes put her up against someone that would provide some more resistance. And Patty did just that, throwing Gutter around the ring from the start! However, Gutter didn't take well to being slighted in this way and busted Patty in the face as Patty tried to lift her for a choke! It appeared this punch actually BROKE Patty's nose and the 'beauty behemoth' of OG-Joshi immediately went outside the ring to get a towel...and a chair! But Gutter used the respite to get a weapon herself, a barbed wire bat. And so a stand off occurred before the two did their best impression of a lightsaber battle. However, Gutter's weapon was more easily wielded and kept "clanging" Patty's chair, (Note: Figaro read that sentence the wrong way.) causing her to drop it. This gave Gutter enough time to crack Patty in the head with the bat and pick up the win after a gruesome match. Why both women weren't disqualified is a question for the referee Coach McGuirk and not this humble narrator.

Gutter (O) [Barbed Wire Bat - 4:00] (X) Patty Sirloin

Post-Match
But Gutter was not out of harm's way as one of OG-Joshi's longest held traditions were revisited - the crowd-jumper! Only it was not Crimson Mask, but someone of perhaps equal violence and disregard for her enemies' health - Cynthia San Martino from LAWL! The fans were shocked to see Cyn-Cyn here but she rolled into the ring with a switchblade and was about to attack Gutter from behind when "Mean" Jean Carter ran out to the ring and screamed for Gutter to watch out! Gutter ducked the switch-blade swing (and apparent decapitation attempt!? WTF?) and picked up the barbed wire bat that she had placed down after the victory. A security HORDE rushed into the ring at this point and seperated the two but many words were had - bad ones. Ones fans shouldn't hear!! What the heck was Cynthia's "beef" with Gutter?!


INTERMISSION!
The fans go to the merchandise table where some early designs of the "Renaissance" logo are on display - the fans get to pick the one they like most to be the official logo! Also, there is a lot of Gutter merchandise which isn't surprising since Jean Carter has taken an interest in product design! But were Gutter frilly earmuffs really that high in demand? We also see copies of the game "Power Stone" signed by Jenna Stone! Smart cross-marketing there! A whole bunch of KENTA! Army merchandise - pretty much anything you can think of has been stamped with KENTA! Army logos! (even undergarments ) Team Chuu Chuu even has a Para Para instructional video! After a lengthy bathroom break (too much LAWL brand lemonade offered for free with purchases of the HaLAWLoween 2008 DVD!), we get back to some business!


KENTA Army vs. DARKNESS Diva/Yoyo Banzai

Keina/Hiromi vs. Diva/Yoyo

Hiromi is still getting over the horrors she suffered at the hands of a staple gun and Gutter at the last show. Her face is still marked by some KENTA! bandaids but she seems ready tonight. Keina looks a bit tentative as she has been ever since Shino took the helm of KENTA! Army leadership. Diva and Yoyo are just happy to be here, but pose a serious threat due to their veteran status.

Diva starts off with Keina and we get a toned down version of the speedfest we saw earlier with Harmony and Yuri. However, unlike that version, Diva immediately hits a low blow when things aren't working out for her. She begins working on Keina's leg, hoping to take away her two main advantage: her surprisingly effective kicks and her speed. As Keina is having troubles, Shino comes out to ringside and begins berating her. This leads Yoyo Banzai to just start laughing as she watches Keina be dressed down by a member of her own team. Surprisingly, Diva is more sympathetic (perhaps empathetic?) but still takes the fight to her.

However when Diva runs the ropes, Shino actually trips her! Yoyo Banzai flips out, gets into the ring, and runs across it to hit a plancha to Shino!! But Hiromi lariats her as she's running! This distraction allows Keina to tag in Hiromi who begins lariating Diva as well! Hiromi, the power of KENTA! Army is taking her frustration out on Diva and is doing an ok job at it! Good for Hiromi! But as SHE runs the ropes looking for a lariat, Yoyo smacks her on the back of the head with a high roundhouse kicks! Diva tags Yoyo in and now the violence is just beginning! Yoyo starts eviscerating Hiromi, showing the crowd why she was one of the hottest prospects in OG-Joshi back in 2006-7 (before being KO'd by Visper Karr and falling into a rut, as a result). Yoyo is working the neck of Hiromi while Shino is yelling to Keina to interfere. But Keina refuses, instead saying that she must be honorable fighter! "KENTA NEVER INTERFERE!" Yoyo just shrugs and laughs while Shino's face turns red. The end comes soon when Yoyo, with a prone Hiromi between her legs, (again, sorry, Figaro) tells Diva to get up on the top rope. A spike piledriver later, and this match is OVER.

Keina/Hiromi (X) [Spike Piledriver - 12:30] (O) Yoyo/Diva

Post-Match
Shino begins scolding Keina and slaps her a few times. Diva looks conflicted as she seems to want to help but Yoyo drags her off by her ear. Hiromi finally comes to and also yells at Keina for not helping her. Keina begins crying and runs backstage while Shino tears up a Keina poster at ringside, shouting: "SHE NOT DESERVE POSTER! WHEN SHE GET KENTA HONOR, ONLY THEN IS SHE ALLOWED FANS!"


Backstage!
There's a hubbub going on as Gutter and Cynthia have managed to break loose of their security details and are brawling in their street clothes! Cynthia is saying Gutter isn't "hard" like she is while Gutter seems to be responding by PUNCHING CYNTHIA HARD IN THE FACE. Hard enough for ya, Cyn-Cyn? Cynthia pulls out another switchblade which is seen and raised by Gutter's pair of them, and it once again takes Genji Security to break them up! What the hell is causing these two to go at it like this!? Jean Carter finally comes to help calm down and escort Gutter away from the scene, which yields a "oh is your MOM saving you from fights now?" from Cynthia. Jean's response of "I'm not her mom, I'm her FRIEND!" caused Gutter to put her hand over her face and sigh and did nothing to stop Cynthia's cackling.


Naomi vs. Eris Byrne
Naomi is coming off a startling, mind-numbing, pinch-yourself-to-see-if-you're-dreaming victory over Patty Sirloin which is bound to have given her some confidence and make the fans wonder if they're in a Matrix or something. In the other corner we have Eris who has just come off a count-out, knock-out loss to Lina in one of the best matches in either woman's career and even in Amplitude history!

It's clear that Eris isn't too happy about her previous loss and she's taking it out on poor Naomi with some vicious chops to the chest! Naomi is doing her best to cover up but she is just getting pelted with chops here. Eris winds up a bit further and WHIPS Naomi with a blistering chop! She goes for another and Naomi catches it! She turns it into a jujigatame!! Eris is shocked but is able to reach the ropes. She rings her arm out while the fans cheer vociferously for Naomi. She manages a quick "TAP FOR KENTA!" shout!

This just sends Eris over the edge and she hits a flying knee right to Naomi's face as she turns back around. From here the match goes downhill for the aspiring KENTA! MMArmy girl as Eris is punishing her with everything in her arsenal - making sure to target her neck, back, and legs. Naomi is trying to reverse into several submission moves but it's having no effect other then further enraging Eris! You gotta hand it to Naomi for her increased skills here but she doesn't have the sheer force of will in those moves that Eris has in resisting them. Eris goes to put the match away with the "Touch of Strife" (Cross STF) but Naomi reverses it by sweeping her feet and turns it into a rear naked choke! How'd she do that! Eris looks to be in some actual trouble here as she's right in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go. But she has the wherewithal to reach backwards and rakes Naomi in the eyes to break the hold. Both women get up, Naomi is still without her sight and she walks right into a Ravenstone (tombstone) for the easy 3 count.

Naomi (X) [Ravenstone - 13:04] (O) Eris Byrne

Post-Match!
But this isn't over as Eris looks infuriated that Naomi put up the resistance she did. Eris begins putting the boots to Naomi while shouting out - "KENTA SUCKS!" It doesn't take long for Tigress to run out to make the save. As she's running to the ring, Shino comes out too, but she waits until Tigress is in the ring fending off Eris. When Eris fights back, Shino waits and smiles at Tigress having trouble. But when Tigress is able to hit a huge dropkick sending Eris over the ropes, only THEN does Shino come to the ring!

Tigress tries to help Naomi up but Shino is shoving her away!! Naomi is getting in between them and screaming: "BE FRIENDS FOR KENTA!" but Shino is yelling at Tigress asking her why her "Fancy moves didn't help Naomi win!" Tigress answers back with "Where were you when she was getting attacked?!" The two are so caught up in their war of words that they don't even see Eris come back into the ring with a STEEL CHAIR!! She wallops Naomi with it but before she has a chance to hit anyone else...

THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS! It's LINA!! She has rushed down to the ring and tackled Eris right as she's about to swing the chair down on the downed Naomi!! Lina and Eris begin rolling on the floor, trying to gain top position for knuckle arrows! Meanwhile, both Shino and Tigress are shouting over who helps Naomi backstage! This is chaos and we have Eris Byrne (rather then Orochi Army, for a change!) to thank for it!!

Here comes security to calm the situation down. And folks, we're out of time!! Hopefully Celes can weigh in on the crazy night we just had and its possible implications on the Renaissance PPV!