January 2009 Voltage
Jan 19, 2009 14:50:27 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jan 19, 2009 14:50:27 GMT -5
January 2009 Voltage
*The Voltage venue of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena is alive with the sound of ... the Cereal Expo 2009? Wait...uh oh, we got the wrong date here. Be back in a week! .*
...
*Can't believe Geese rented this area out last week. But we're back with Voltage as pyro goes off and MJC's pet flying squirrels do a synchronized group launch off the Orochi-Tron (all wearing mini aviator goggles). And we're joined by our be-tuxedo'd commentators, Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde!
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hello fans, and welcome to the final Voltage before the next OG-Joshi PPV!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm wearing a tux! But I think a squirrel gave it an extra "button."
[Mr. Clyde:] "You're wearing a spray-on tux. And I sincerely hope you brought REAL pants."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And have my trouser belt snake flapping around when Kim Cross is scheduled to wrestle tonight, of course I wore pants! Are you insane!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Asks the man with a painted on tuxedo."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Says the man wearing a MASK with a tuxedo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "A rare touche, but a touche nonetheless."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Now that I've won the Voltage intro, I get to point us to the matches!"
A small graphic appears on the Orochi-Tron with the card for tonight*
1) Visper Karr vs. Juli Tanaka
2) Alicia Gordon/Azumi Oonishi vs. Lana/Haley Cannon
3) Kaori NiGHT vs. Jane Dod
4) Tornado rules: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
[Mr. Clyde:] "We had a very big announcement made at the previous Voltage. General Celes made a #1 Contenders Battle Royale at the PPV and two matches tonight feature wrestlers that will be in that Battle Royale. Our main event is actually a culmination of many months of violence between those two teams."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Celes hopes they can get that tension out of their system and devote their energies to winning the match at the PPV, rather then continuiing down a path of violence that will not help them or OG-Joshi in the long run."
[Mr. Clyde:] "In all fairness, Figaro, that comment is really directed towards Lori and Crimson. As Kat and Kim have already demonstrated their dedication to becoming two of the best wrestlers here in OG-Joshi. And both of them very much want to win that Battle Royale to get a guaranteed shot at the OG-Joshi World Championship."
[Mr. Figaro:] "The question that we all have on our minds is WHO will be the champion come that time. The current and long reigning champion, Holly? Or her challenger Visper Karr? And we will finally get to see whether Visper's skills can...
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hold on, Figaro...I'm getting word there's a disturbance back-
*The disturbance carries on TO the stage as Sandy Morton and Linda Parker are literally FLUNG through the curtains and land on the ramp. Jill Chambers is next and is followed by a stoic Nicole Dramesi!*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Uh oh."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Folks, none of these women have a match scheduled for tonight."
*Nicole grabs Sandy with her left hand, Linda with her right hand, and Jill's hair with her TEETH and lead them all down to the ring. She throws them in, then goes over to the timekeeper's bell and rings it!"*
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm not too certain Nicole has match making capabilities in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Tell that to Coach McGuirk who is sitting outside and has now been THROWN into the ring by Nicole! I think we have a match on our hands, folks! For the sake of Coach's health! Nicole wasn't taking no for an answer there!"
Match #1: Nicole Dramesi vs. Sandy Morton/Linda Parker/Jill Chambers
[Mr. Clyde:] "Nicole challenges all three of them to come at her at once. Aside from them being forced into this match, there doesn't appear to be much wear and tear on any of the three women. They appear as "fresh" as one can say about them."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Eeww. But awesome at the same time! But Clyde, why Jill Chambers?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I've heard that Sandy and Linda became friends with her after meeting her at a New Year's Party. Apparently Jill is planning a Spring Break trip this year for the three of them as she has experience with "Girls Gone Wild."
*Mr. Figaro makes a lude motion with his hand*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah...heh heh...I ALSO have "experience" with that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "In the time it took you to disgust me, Nicole just lariated Sandy inside-out."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And likewise to you, as Linda just got german suplexed out of the ring!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "After the german, Jill jumped on Nicole's head from behind. But..Nicole swung Jill's body around and immediatley powerbombed her."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That was pretty impressive Clyde, and scary too. And now Linda has a chair she got from the outside....SMASH! And the chair...the chair just got dented but Nicole didn't even go down! This is the first time Linda tried to make someone go down and they refused!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I really hope you meant that in a wrestling context."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I did originally! Thanks though!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Nicole goes to attack Sandy, who futiley tries a low-blow. Nicole looks amused by this...gestures Sandy to try again, which she does to no further effect. Nicole then headbutts Sandy unconscious!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Never saw Sandy get head like THAT!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "... Nicole grabs Linda for a chokeslam, really squeezing on that choke as she lifts her up. But Jill is up again and grabs the chair that Linda brought in. As Nicole chokeslams Linda, Jill is furiously smashing Nicole's back with a chair but to NO EFFECT. Nicole completes the chokeslam and actually PINS the unconscious Linda while Jill continues to hit her with a chair! That has to have been 10 shots with that chair now and Nicole is impervious. I have never, in the history of Voltage, seen anything like this before. Nicole has just pinned Linda and gotten the victory in this "match."
Nicole Dramesi (O) [Chokeslam - 4:00] (X) Linda Parker, Sandy Morton, Jill Chambers
[Mr. Figaro:] "Jill hasn't let up though with those chair shots!! But Nicole grabs the chair out of Jill's hand, hit herself with the chair, denting it beyond use, and throws it down next to both of them. Jill is actually crying now after seeing this display...and Nicole seems to be taking pity on her. She wraps her arm around Jill's neck to grant her solace and then...russian legsweep right on the broken chair! Jill is writhing in pain!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Some solace. I think Jill's only chance for keeping her sanity is losing her consciousness. Luckily for her, Nicole looks like she's about to finish this off and goes to chokeslam her...but stops."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Nicole wags her fingers and then goes over to Linda...picks her up and then chokeslams her AGAIN! Then she does the same to Sandy Morton! Jill is watching this powerless and Nicole is destroying both women!! No one is coming down to help them either!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Holly isn't here cause she is trying to avoid Nicole and Juli Krieger is training in Germany until the PPV. And after what Sandy helped do to Dizzy, she isn't exactly the most popular girl in the lockerroom, same with Linda."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Finally, after Linda and Sandy are a bloody mess and are completely knocked out, Nicole has finished her assault. She goes over and softly kisses Jill on her head, telling her "the pain is all over, dear." as she walks out. This...this is sick, Clyde!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "This is what Juli Krieger has to contend with.This is what OG-Joshi has to contend wtih! It's hard to say for sure that Sandy and Juli brought this on themselves cause no one could have imagined the backlash from this monster. But after what they did to Dizzy, its ALSO hard to say its not deserved to some extent."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, the first match is done and the ring mat is a bloody mess. We better go to commercials, like NOW."
*Feeling sad after that violence!? Perk up as commercials for the BIFF promotion are shown!*
[Mr. Clyde:] "We're back with a new ring mat. The medical staff are attending to Jill while stretchering out Sandy and Linda. And as this is going on, the competitors for the next match are coming to ringside. Juli Tanaka looks shocked at the scene here while Visper is silent but poised. She looks at Sandy Morton specifically and shakes her head in what appears to be defiance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Visper Karr has been extraordinarly quiet in recent weeks, especially given the fact she has a WORLD TITLE SHOT at the PPV! Holly has been taunting her personally and professionally but nothing, no response from Visper. All we know is that this week she asked Celes for one more match before the PPV and requested J*NiGHT's Juli Tanaka as her opponent."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think Visper knows what she's doing, as does Celes in granting her wish."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But why no words from Visper for Holly?! Words are the basis for communication, for society! Without words, how would we play Marco Polo? Without words, how would I release my upcoming rap album - "South Figaro Flow." Without WORDS, how would Kim Cross whisper sweet, sweet nothings into my ear!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm sure you would think of ANOTHER imaginary way for her to seduce you."
[Mr. Figaro:] "...she really whispers stuff."
[Mr. Clyde:] "'Restraining.Order.' Now let's get to the match to see what Visper has in store for us."
Match #2: Visper Karr vs. Juli Tanaka
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper immediately begins chopping Juli, which Juli is happy to return in kind. Juli is actually world renouned at chops, as many McPro Gym students can attest to. But tonight, Visper has the upper hand here with some really blistering blows. She immediately goes for a pinfall but Juli kicks out. An early 2 count here and Visper seems motivated."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Juli Tanaka pissed her off recently?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper wastes no time and begins hitting Juli with a barrage of snap suplexes. Juli is trying to roll through and is able to on a few of them, but Visper just grabs her again and continues throwing her around with overhead suplexes. Juli appears dumbfounded here as to what has gotten into Visper."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Juli ran over her cat?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper is now continuiing the one-sided assault with her arsenal of kicks. She seems to be avoiding Juli's face but even with that target eliminated, Juli isn't able to cover up properly. She is hunched over and Visper grabs her in a double arm suplex. She goes for the pin, gets a 2.9. Folks, this is four minutes into the match. Visper also doesn't appear winded in the slightest."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Visper has been... training really hard?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "First sensible thing you've said since the mask comment. Now Juli finally gets a bit of a respite, having irish whipped Visper into the ropes. Juli hits some chops in the corner but they appear to be doing nothing, as Visper grabs Juli and flings her into the corner and fights any resistance as she hits a huge superplex. Visper picks her up, goes behind and attempts a german suplex, Juli rolls her up! 1 count, easy kick-out. Visper looks frustrated though, hits a snap suplex on Juli, then another, then another! She goes for the german again, easily gets it this time. She hangs on but then actually lets go at the 2 count."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Not a good sign for Juli..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "She invites Juli to come at her with whatever she has left. And Juli does just that, hitting a hurracarana then a lariat, then a frankensteiner for a shade under a 2 count. She goes for her own german suplex but Visper counts with her leg, stopping Juli's momentum, then suddenly jumps up to hit a back enziguri! Juli staggers forwards into the ropes, Visper kicks her in the stomach off the rebound, and then grabs her in another double arm suplex..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No! A tiger-bomb! Visper hits a HUGE tigerbomb! And she gets the easy 3 count! Wow!"
Visper Karr (O) [8:00 - Tigerbomb] (X) Juli Tanaka
[Mr. Clyde:] "A dominating victory for Visper Karr. And unlike Nicole, Visper did it with no over the top violence, but just straight pro wrestling ability over a woman herself known as a tough competitor
[Mr. Figaro:] "Juli is laying there, half beaten and half shocked. And Visper STILL looks like she barely broke a sweat! She looks just as ready as when she came out here!"
*Visper Karr goes over to slowly help Juli up. She hugs her and raises her hand. Juli does the same to Visper and motions around her waist like a belt, which the fans react strongly too. Visper nods and pats her on the back on Juli's way out.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, it doesn't look like there was any animosity there at all, really. Visper seemed quite respectful after the match. Although she has yet to smile this whole time."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper wanted Juli in the ring to test herself against her skills. Juli is a great barometer of wrestling ability and I have never seen anyone outwrestle Juli to that extent before."
*Visper Karr takes the microphone, pausing for a moment, waiting for the crowd to finish cheering Juli's efforts as she leaves through the curtain.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Finally! Come on Visper! Give Holly hell, unleash a verbal tirade!! Question her fashion sense! Doubt her ability to out insult you! Taunt her boyfriend! Actually, DON'T taunt her boyfriend. But taunt her boyfriend's mailman! That'll infuriate...someone."
*Visper looks around at the audience cheering her and then looks at the camera.*
[Visper:] "Holly, I hope you give me a good fight."
*Visper drops the microphone and walks off backstage.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "What the hell was that!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is the definition of focus."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That is the definition of disappointing.. Where was the "You, me, 60 minute Cambodian Death Match, you bring the oysters? First one to say "ah shucks", wins a bounty of passions and the right to flog the loser with the dreams of the anointed!"
*Mr. Clyde lets out a very rare but muted laugh. It almost sounds like a cough.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, you got me. It won't happen again."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Whoo!!!!! I made Clyde laugh!! I'm #1, baby!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "But back to Visper, the fans don't seem disappointed with her performance and words here. And, after what we saw with Nicole earlier tonight, Visper's actions throughout were a breath of fresh air."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can get you some of her clothes if you're into sniffing her..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Not judging, just saying."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And I think we're about to be joined by General Celes now as she has taken it upon herself to referee the next match."
*"Fields of Fantasy" plays on the speakers as General Celes makes her way to the stage with a microphone and a rolled up banner.*
[Celes:] "Sandy Morton and Linda Parker both have badly sprained backs: Sandy's may be broken. And Jill Chambers may have lost her mind. But Visper Karr IS OG-Joshi and for that, I remain hopeful. More then that, I remain confident."
*Celes begins unfurling the banner.*
[Celes:] "It has taken some time for me to think of an appropriate name for the upcoming PPV. I like them all to have meaning and not just be throwaway terms of aggression or violence. I like them to reflect where we have been, where we are, and, most importantly, where we are going."
*Celes finishes unfurling the banner, but we can not see it as it is pointed to her.*
[Celes:] "May this banner represent an OG-Joshi where banners themselves do not fear the disturbing fate their soiled cousin suffered earlier this month. May this banner represent an OG-Joshi where WE do not have to fear the grave injuries that have happened to TOO many in the past year. And may this banner represent the great changes that will occur after Visper Karr defeats Holly for the World Championship and brings OG-Joshi into a brave new age."
*Celes flips over the banner so we can see it - "OG-Joshi Renaissance."
[Celes:] "After the Renaissance PPV, the dark ages will be over. Holly and her unchecked power will be finished. She will have accountability for her actions. And I will see to it that the scourge she was indirectly responsible for will also be eliminated. As for many others in this promotion who have been tempted by their own dark sides, I offer one promise. Look to the #1 Contenders Battle Royale to see the triumph that striving for your best can lead you to. There is absolutely no way that anyone in that match with a score to settle can win. Unless you go in desiring the #1 contendership as your only objective, consider yourself as merely a footnote to the inevitable. To aid everyone in their journey, we shall see if the women in the next match, and the main event, can get the distracting tension out of their systems so that they can focus solely on the real goal at hand during Renaissance."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well said, Celes."
*Celes nods at Clyde and goes to the ring.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow...you think she's right? You think Visper, and OG-Joshi can get back on the right track?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think a few people are gonna be very irritated that you just said that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm thinking that's not as much of a big deal as it used to be."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Just wear a cup next time you see her, or him."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Noted."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And folks we're about to settle in for quite a star-studded tag match. Haley Cannon is a former OG-Joshi World Champion and is, arguably, one of the top 5 contenders to the world title. She will be teaming with Lana, a women who has been reinvigorated as of late. The two squared off in their own match a few months ago and, while Haley was victorious, Lana won over the respect of her and the crowd. Their opponents are two members of the former HAWT*Wing stable. Azumi Oonishi is a former OG-Joshi Tag Champion in her own right. And she teams with Alicia Gordon, a former holder of LAWL titles and someone who could have possibly won the OG-Joshi World Championship had it not been for the machinations of Holly's plan. Alicia and Lana have not seen eye to eye recently, with Lana aggressively espousing competition and Alicia still having to cope with her lust for revenge against Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That lust, mmmm....lust, for revenge transferred to violence against Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo. That happened partially because of the Cease Fire preventing Alicia from laying her hands on Holly, but also cause she is friends with Kat Black and was sick of watching Crimson and Lori attack Kat and Kim Cross. Mmm...Kim."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Lana felt things got out of hand with the attacks Alicia dealt onto both Lori and Crimson and tensions arose between the two. Celes is hoping the calming influence of Azumi and the pure competitiveness of Haley can bring the two to move past their differnces and focus on winning in OG-Joshi tonight, at Renaissance, and in the future."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think Lana is fine, really. She may be a bit angry at Alicia but i think her head is in the right place...well, the right place would be under the desk right now..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now you'll need an extra strength cup.."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I think Lana is gonna be ready for the Battle Royale with the right objective in mind. I'm not too sure about Alicia though."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia Gordon's story is turning tragic. There is no longer any doubt that Holly corrupted Alicia, but the question is can Alicia reclaim her lost spirit. When I first met Alicia before she joined OG-Joshi, she was a competitive but kind individual. Now, she is twisted by revenge and violence. Thunder Strike's influence, though well-meaning, has not been properly absorbed by her. And unfortunately, Jang Bae is not doing enough to step in."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, that's kinda...not really our business."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I did not want to call them out like that, but after failing to persuade them in private, Celes and I agreed there is little recourse. Gentleman of J.U.S.T.I.C.E, if you do not want to watch Alicia fall to further depths, I suggest you get her back on the right track."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ok, well um, Azumi is pretty hot. So I'm gonna focus on that now. She has really smooth skin, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's just get to the match. All four women are out..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah nice timing there on saying that stuff about Alicia AS she was walking out!! Maybe you need a cup too!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "She won't take violent recourse. She won't even look me in the eye."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You gotta stop worrying about J.U.S.T.I.C.E....especially on Geese's show."
[Mr. Clyde:] "He won't either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "*Gulp* Match...NOW."
Match #3: Alicia Gordon/Azumi Oonishi vs. Lana/Haley Cannon
Viddler Version
(Note: Google Video will soon no longer accept uploads so I'm experimenting with new video services in addition to Google which I already uploaded this and other shows too).
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[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow!! Welcome to 2009, Voltage!! Here's your early match of the year contender!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You got that right. All four women brought their competitive spirit. I think Haley was brilliant here but you can't discount Alicia at the end, hanging with the former OG-Joshi Champion. Nor can you sell short the huge impact Lana had on the match, or the continued rise of Azumi through the ranks against tougher opponents. Azumi was seen to be the weaker link of HAWT*Wing, but I think she is really developing as a solid foundation in tag team encounters."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Unfortunately, Alicia..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia was close to blinded by rage everytime she was in against Lana but I sensed she actually composed herself better againat Haley. Whether it was Haley's fighting spirit influencing Alicia or just the thrill of being in against someone of that high level: which was the reason Alicia came to OG-Joshi in the first place. However, and this is not to take away from Alicia's actual skills, Haley simply outwrestled her at the end and made her tap out to her signature LDT. Alicia is great when she wants to be, but Haley is phenomenal. I believe it is within Alicia's potential to get to that level, but she has to make it her first priority and put aside her vengeance."
Azumi/Alicia (X) [Lancashire Death Trap - 24:00] (O) Haley/Lana
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I'm shocked Alicia was able to resist the LDT earlier in the match! You gotta give her a lot of credit for that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Without a doubt, Haley Cannon has brought the best out of every opponent she has faced in OG-Joshi. Whether they were already great wrestlers like Jo Ryder and Kaori NiGHT, or women who struggled with their emotions like Holly and Alicia Gordon. If Haley's influence can keep Alicia focused on the real goal in the Battle Royale rather then violence, I think Alicia stands a real chance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think this match also showed what a great chance Lana has. Cause while she is also very skilled in ground based attacks, her striking is quick and deadly. And Azumi is also very quick and hard to "catch" in general. I think she will be an elusive presense in that match."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I agree. And now, let us take another commercial break."
*Commercials for the debuting KASHMIR Pro Wrestling are aired.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Our next match involves two top stars who will be involved in the Tag Title match at Renaissance. Jane Dod, of the Dods, will be facing Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT, the reigning champions."
[Mr. Figaro:] "J*NiGHT has held those titles for just under a year now, having won them at the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV. They defeated a tough HAWT*Wing team but haven't faced very much TAG competition since then. Meanwhile, the Dods have been on fire since joining OG-Joshi and are actually undefeated in both singles and tag competition. On the other side, Jenny McLanahan has had quite a year, winning the LAWL OMG Title. But both Jenny and Kaori teamed with Juli Tanaka and fell short against the Dods in tag competition."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Jane Dod also captured the EFW Angel's Championship last year so she's no stranger to singles gold. Whether that puts her on an even keel with one of the OG-Joshi legends, Kaori NiGHT, is a big question. This is, without a doubt, Jane's biggest singles match here but it also may serve as a preview to the tag title match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ominously, as we said the last time we saw the Dods, they've been on pretty good behavior, aside from a few altercations early on in their OG-Joshi career. But these are the Dods we're dealing with and so my guess is that they are saving the shenanigans til the PPV, but I wouldn't be shocked to see Jane try to work on Kaori's leg a LOT this match to soften it up. Kaori better be extra careful, especially if the fight goes outside and any foreign objects are close by! But Jane has got to be ready for Kaori as she is not intimidated by anyone. If Jane attempts any dirty moves, Kaori will not take that kind of disrespect sitting down! And muzzling Kaori's overwhelming offense has proven to be one of the harder tasks for a wrestler in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's see who can send a bigger message to the opposing team and get some extra momentum going into Renaissance."
Match #4: Kaori NiGHT vs. Jane Dod
(The Google Video preview pic spoiled the match so only Viddler here)
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[Mr. Figaro:] "Ahh! Those damn Dods! Those rabble-frabble-drabble Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'll excuse the profanity...as Jane and Polly just orchestrated a very large coup here. They took advantage of the momentarily downed Celes...who looks fine now, luckily, after that rough collision...as Polly Dod came out and obliterated Kaori with the PollyWhirl~2."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You gotta admire Kaori for fighting back at the end....it may have just been instinct though. And then Jane sealed the match with that vicious DDT of her that has put away so many opponents in the past."
Kaori NiGHT (X) [Implant DDT - 9:36] (O) Jane Dod
[Mr. Clyde:] "But this isn't over just yet, I believe. Jenny has come down to ringside and convinced Celes to call for a replay. OG-Joshi doesn't believe that the ref's decision is final when there is actual video evidence of wrongdoing."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah, um...instant replay technology isn't just for the fans, huh? Imagine that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Celes is quite agitated about what has happened and appears to be telling the ring announcer that Jane has been disqualified."
Kaori NiGHT (O) [DIsqualification - Interference] (X) Jane Dod
[Mr. Figaro:] "This is little solace to Kaori who is STILL woozy and on the ground from the attack. But Jenny is doing her best to help her up and tell her the news."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Looks like Kaori won this match, after all. But I think the Dods message was sent loud and clear, victory or not."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I told ya Clyde, just a matter of time before the true Dod face was shown. And they picked an occasion where Kaori was alone and vulnerable, rather then the last few matches where there were 2 on 2 encounters. This is classic dirty Dod doggone-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, ok. We know."
*Jenny and Celes both help Kaori back up the ramp.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It appears Celes is indeed unaffected by that earlier collision, which is good news at least. And while Kaori appears shaken, I don't think she suffered any major injuries. Luckily for her, the two Dod moves affected different parts of her body so she won't have an injury due to a concentrated attack, but she's definitely banged up."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's just too bad I wasn't the one doing the banging."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, if Kaori was really hurt, I think Figaro would have more tact."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Gah, you're no fun!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we have one final commercial break, folks."
*Commercials for Dragon Pro Wrestling air.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It looks like Kenshin, the referee, is coming out to take over officiating for the main event, allowing Celes to make sure Kaori is ok. And I'm kind of glad Celes is staying out of the ring when Crimson Mask is coming."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So she doesn't get burnt?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So she doesn't get burned and then brutally annihilate Crimson Mask immediately after."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah, good point. I'd imagine Celes isn't in such a good mood now so getting a calmer referee is probably a good idea! Plus, Lori Cuozzo has the knack for making people want to smack her. Celes almost did just that when Lori kicked me in the Figs."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And that brings us to the next match, which has really been building up for a long time. Kat Black and Kim Cross have had seperate and combined issues with both Lori Cuozzo and Crimson Mask. Kat's problems with Crimson Mask date back to both of their debuts. This is when Crimson violently attacked Azumi Oonishi and Kat Black, having been the newest masked competitor, was under suspicion that she was working with Crimson Mask. Kat cleared her good name, to the ire of Crimson Mask, and the two fought after Kat prevented further attacks. Kat decisively won their match. However, that wasn't enough as the two also had a hardcore match a year later where Kat had to adapt to that style. Once again, Kat won. Crimson disappeared for a while after that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "This break allowed Kat and Kim to find each other and discuss their love for the commentators! After a lot of hot and heavy junior high school style group flirting, we all decided that it was best to go steady - well, Kat and Clyde, and Kim and I. No group weddings here, please."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm in rare agreement with you on a subject pertaining to Kat and Kim."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And after one date..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It only was ONE date..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "After a magical evening was ruined by Lori Cuozzo..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Whom we managed to unintentionally get fired from her job as a waitress..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Cause she believed that customers are NOT always right...she and Crimson went onto attack Kat and Kim during a match they had at the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV! The nerve of them! The gall! The unmitigated GALL"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And so Kat and Kim just want to get rid of this burden by now, especially since they are looking forward to competing in the #1 Contender Battle Royale. It won't help them to have tension with Lori and Crimson and so hopefully all four women can just put it behind them after this match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That really can't happen though. Every time Kat and Kim beat them in some way, they just come right back! And we both know Kat and Kim won't stand to lose to them!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think Kat and Kim have their eyes on the World Title more then these two opponents. Which may be a distraction for them in THIS match but shouldn't be at Renaissance. Now, as for Lori and Crimson, I don't know what, if any, their title aspirations are. Lori appears slightly more likely to want a Title shot as she came into OG-Joshi wanting to prove she was better then everyone else. But Crimson Mask has shown no need or desire to WIN matches. Her agenda is fulfilled when she hurts somebody, makes them bleed, and injures them. Wearing a gold belt is nothing compared to opening up a red gash."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I like opening up a pink-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And so I wonder if Celes' speech earlier will have any affect on Crimson Mask. I believe Kat and Kim are exactly the type of wrestlers Celes felt belonged in the Battle Royale, and Lori is the the type of wrestler Celes was speaking to earlier, much like she did to Alicia. If Lori wants to achieve great things in OG-Joshi, she has to control her temper and put aside petty feuds with Kat and Kim. Kat and Kim don't want to mire themselves in these situations, they want to win Championship gold. Lori has the ability to compete on that level, but she needs the desire. Hopefully the Battle Royale can put her on the right path."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I agree, Crimson is kind of a lost cause."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It takes a lot for Celes to give up on anyone. Crimson is nearing that point but that Battle Royale will be literally two steps away from the title for her, for everyone. It's the best opportunity she has ever had here and perhaps will ever have again. If that doesn't spur her to action, then I can see Celes outright throwing her off the roster for lack of purpose. But if Crimson can show us something, that she may actually have designs to compete and win the title, then she can survive here yet."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And right now, SURVIVE is a good word, cause I have a feeling this next match is gonna be somewhat of a war between these teams. A tornado tag match between two groups that simple detest each other. I just hope Kat and Kim can stay away from Crimson's fire attack. At least Kat has that mask on, it's all flesh for Kim! All sweet, soft cheeky flesh...."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Here we go..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Why did the Kim "Cross" the road?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "There's no way this ends well. We're going to the match now."
[Mr. Figaro:] "To get on the Figaro ride!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ahem, NOW."
Match #5: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
Viddler Version
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[Mr. Clyde:] "Other then a few rough spots, I think Kat and Kim won that match quite handily."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ahh!! Too much violence!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kim appears just fine and put the match away with a double german suplex. After a number of finishing attempts by both women, a disparate amount compared to the opponents, Kat and Kim got a decisive victory."
Kat/Kim (O) [Double German Suplex - 23:20] (X) Crimson/Lori
[Mr. Figaro:] "I don't think Crimson WANTED to end the match, that's why she didn't try to finish it. Kat and Kim wanted to send a message by earning the victory and getting out of there. Crimson wanted them to suffer and Lori, well, Lori was pretty tough, I'll give her credit. Even when Crimson seemed to have no answer to the Kat/Kim superteam of wrestling, Lori kept fighting."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true but it wasn't enough. Both Kat and Kim were at the top of their singles AND team game here. Remember they have had some success in the past year as a team, more then Crimson and Lori had. And I think they also are able to trust each other whereas Crimson and Lori just rely on mutual hatred. It's not exactly the strongest bond."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Kat and Kim are bonded by their mutual love for us. It's heartwearming...and groingrabbing."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's something all right."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Lori and Crimson actually appear to be too winded to attempt any post match attacks. This is a first for them!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think the fact that Celes is now making her way to ringside is a further deterrent."
*Celes comes to the ring and shakes hands with Kat and Kim, apparently offering them words of praise and support. She also grabs a microphone.*
[Celes:] "You are looking at two of the most likely wrestlers to win the Battle Royale: Kat Black and Kim Cross. Ladies and gentlemen, we are now just one show away from our next PPV. Amplitude will be coming to you soon where I will be announcing two new matches for Reniassiance. For those on the Voltage roster, I believe you all have definitive goals. And it will be my pleasure to open up the next Voltage with the new OG-Joshi World Champion and the new #1 Contender."
*Kat and Kim look at each other and nod their heads. Celes stays in the ring with them, further fending off any chances of a post match altercation with their opponents.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat and Kim each know what is at stake here. While they have certainly gotten closer as partners and even friends, they are going to do their absolute best to win at Renaissance. The same goes for Haley and Lana, as well as Azumi and...hopefully Alicia. As for Crimson and Lori, their objectives are anyone's guess. But one thing is for sure, and that is we WILL have a new #1 Contender at Renaissance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Whether we'll have a new Champion is less certain but even more intriguing."
[Mr. Clyde:] "We hope you all enjoy the final Amplitude as those women have been working hard to get noticed and get a PPV match of their own. But for Voltage, this is Mr. Clyde and, on behalf of Mr. Figaro, we will see you at Renaissance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'll be painting the Mona Kima!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And not from the bushes outside her house as you usually do. Good night, folks."
*Fin*
*The Voltage venue of the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena is alive with the sound of ... the Cereal Expo 2009? Wait...uh oh, we got the wrong date here. Be back in a week! .*
...
*Can't believe Geese rented this area out last week. But we're back with Voltage as pyro goes off and MJC's pet flying squirrels do a synchronized group launch off the Orochi-Tron (all wearing mini aviator goggles). And we're joined by our be-tuxedo'd commentators, Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde!
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hello fans, and welcome to the final Voltage before the next OG-Joshi PPV!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm wearing a tux! But I think a squirrel gave it an extra "button."
[Mr. Clyde:] "You're wearing a spray-on tux. And I sincerely hope you brought REAL pants."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And have my trouser belt snake flapping around when Kim Cross is scheduled to wrestle tonight, of course I wore pants! Are you insane!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Asks the man with a painted on tuxedo."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Says the man wearing a MASK with a tuxedo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "A rare touche, but a touche nonetheless."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Now that I've won the Voltage intro, I get to point us to the matches!"
A small graphic appears on the Orochi-Tron with the card for tonight*
1) Visper Karr vs. Juli Tanaka
2) Alicia Gordon/Azumi Oonishi vs. Lana/Haley Cannon
3) Kaori NiGHT vs. Jane Dod
4) Tornado rules: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
[Mr. Clyde:] "We had a very big announcement made at the previous Voltage. General Celes made a #1 Contenders Battle Royale at the PPV and two matches tonight feature wrestlers that will be in that Battle Royale. Our main event is actually a culmination of many months of violence between those two teams."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Celes hopes they can get that tension out of their system and devote their energies to winning the match at the PPV, rather then continuiing down a path of violence that will not help them or OG-Joshi in the long run."
[Mr. Clyde:] "In all fairness, Figaro, that comment is really directed towards Lori and Crimson. As Kat and Kim have already demonstrated their dedication to becoming two of the best wrestlers here in OG-Joshi. And both of them very much want to win that Battle Royale to get a guaranteed shot at the OG-Joshi World Championship."
[Mr. Figaro:] "The question that we all have on our minds is WHO will be the champion come that time. The current and long reigning champion, Holly? Or her challenger Visper Karr? And we will finally get to see whether Visper's skills can...
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hold on, Figaro...I'm getting word there's a disturbance back-
*The disturbance carries on TO the stage as Sandy Morton and Linda Parker are literally FLUNG through the curtains and land on the ramp. Jill Chambers is next and is followed by a stoic Nicole Dramesi!*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Uh oh."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Folks, none of these women have a match scheduled for tonight."
*Nicole grabs Sandy with her left hand, Linda with her right hand, and Jill's hair with her TEETH and lead them all down to the ring. She throws them in, then goes over to the timekeeper's bell and rings it!"*
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm not too certain Nicole has match making capabilities in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Tell that to Coach McGuirk who is sitting outside and has now been THROWN into the ring by Nicole! I think we have a match on our hands, folks! For the sake of Coach's health! Nicole wasn't taking no for an answer there!"
Match #1: Nicole Dramesi vs. Sandy Morton/Linda Parker/Jill Chambers
[Mr. Clyde:] "Nicole challenges all three of them to come at her at once. Aside from them being forced into this match, there doesn't appear to be much wear and tear on any of the three women. They appear as "fresh" as one can say about them."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Eeww. But awesome at the same time! But Clyde, why Jill Chambers?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I've heard that Sandy and Linda became friends with her after meeting her at a New Year's Party. Apparently Jill is planning a Spring Break trip this year for the three of them as she has experience with "Girls Gone Wild."
*Mr. Figaro makes a lude motion with his hand*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah...heh heh...I ALSO have "experience" with that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "In the time it took you to disgust me, Nicole just lariated Sandy inside-out."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And likewise to you, as Linda just got german suplexed out of the ring!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "After the german, Jill jumped on Nicole's head from behind. But..Nicole swung Jill's body around and immediatley powerbombed her."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That was pretty impressive Clyde, and scary too. And now Linda has a chair she got from the outside....SMASH! And the chair...the chair just got dented but Nicole didn't even go down! This is the first time Linda tried to make someone go down and they refused!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I really hope you meant that in a wrestling context."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I did originally! Thanks though!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Nicole goes to attack Sandy, who futiley tries a low-blow. Nicole looks amused by this...gestures Sandy to try again, which she does to no further effect. Nicole then headbutts Sandy unconscious!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Never saw Sandy get head like THAT!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "... Nicole grabs Linda for a chokeslam, really squeezing on that choke as she lifts her up. But Jill is up again and grabs the chair that Linda brought in. As Nicole chokeslams Linda, Jill is furiously smashing Nicole's back with a chair but to NO EFFECT. Nicole completes the chokeslam and actually PINS the unconscious Linda while Jill continues to hit her with a chair! That has to have been 10 shots with that chair now and Nicole is impervious. I have never, in the history of Voltage, seen anything like this before. Nicole has just pinned Linda and gotten the victory in this "match."
Nicole Dramesi (O) [Chokeslam - 4:00] (X) Linda Parker, Sandy Morton, Jill Chambers
[Mr. Figaro:] "Jill hasn't let up though with those chair shots!! But Nicole grabs the chair out of Jill's hand, hit herself with the chair, denting it beyond use, and throws it down next to both of them. Jill is actually crying now after seeing this display...and Nicole seems to be taking pity on her. She wraps her arm around Jill's neck to grant her solace and then...russian legsweep right on the broken chair! Jill is writhing in pain!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Some solace. I think Jill's only chance for keeping her sanity is losing her consciousness. Luckily for her, Nicole looks like she's about to finish this off and goes to chokeslam her...but stops."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Nicole wags her fingers and then goes over to Linda...picks her up and then chokeslams her AGAIN! Then she does the same to Sandy Morton! Jill is watching this powerless and Nicole is destroying both women!! No one is coming down to help them either!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Holly isn't here cause she is trying to avoid Nicole and Juli Krieger is training in Germany until the PPV. And after what Sandy helped do to Dizzy, she isn't exactly the most popular girl in the lockerroom, same with Linda."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Finally, after Linda and Sandy are a bloody mess and are completely knocked out, Nicole has finished her assault. She goes over and softly kisses Jill on her head, telling her "the pain is all over, dear." as she walks out. This...this is sick, Clyde!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "This is what Juli Krieger has to contend with.This is what OG-Joshi has to contend wtih! It's hard to say for sure that Sandy and Juli brought this on themselves cause no one could have imagined the backlash from this monster. But after what they did to Dizzy, its ALSO hard to say its not deserved to some extent."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, the first match is done and the ring mat is a bloody mess. We better go to commercials, like NOW."
*Feeling sad after that violence!? Perk up as commercials for the BIFF promotion are shown!*
[Mr. Clyde:] "We're back with a new ring mat. The medical staff are attending to Jill while stretchering out Sandy and Linda. And as this is going on, the competitors for the next match are coming to ringside. Juli Tanaka looks shocked at the scene here while Visper is silent but poised. She looks at Sandy Morton specifically and shakes her head in what appears to be defiance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Visper Karr has been extraordinarly quiet in recent weeks, especially given the fact she has a WORLD TITLE SHOT at the PPV! Holly has been taunting her personally and professionally but nothing, no response from Visper. All we know is that this week she asked Celes for one more match before the PPV and requested J*NiGHT's Juli Tanaka as her opponent."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think Visper knows what she's doing, as does Celes in granting her wish."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But why no words from Visper for Holly?! Words are the basis for communication, for society! Without words, how would we play Marco Polo? Without words, how would I release my upcoming rap album - "South Figaro Flow." Without WORDS, how would Kim Cross whisper sweet, sweet nothings into my ear!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm sure you would think of ANOTHER imaginary way for her to seduce you."
[Mr. Figaro:] "...she really whispers stuff."
[Mr. Clyde:] "'Restraining.Order.' Now let's get to the match to see what Visper has in store for us."
Match #2: Visper Karr vs. Juli Tanaka
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper immediately begins chopping Juli, which Juli is happy to return in kind. Juli is actually world renouned at chops, as many McPro Gym students can attest to. But tonight, Visper has the upper hand here with some really blistering blows. She immediately goes for a pinfall but Juli kicks out. An early 2 count here and Visper seems motivated."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Juli Tanaka pissed her off recently?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper wastes no time and begins hitting Juli with a barrage of snap suplexes. Juli is trying to roll through and is able to on a few of them, but Visper just grabs her again and continues throwing her around with overhead suplexes. Juli appears dumbfounded here as to what has gotten into Visper."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Juli ran over her cat?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper is now continuiing the one-sided assault with her arsenal of kicks. She seems to be avoiding Juli's face but even with that target eliminated, Juli isn't able to cover up properly. She is hunched over and Visper grabs her in a double arm suplex. She goes for the pin, gets a 2.9. Folks, this is four minutes into the match. Visper also doesn't appear winded in the slightest."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Maybe Visper has been... training really hard?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "First sensible thing you've said since the mask comment. Now Juli finally gets a bit of a respite, having irish whipped Visper into the ropes. Juli hits some chops in the corner but they appear to be doing nothing, as Visper grabs Juli and flings her into the corner and fights any resistance as she hits a huge superplex. Visper picks her up, goes behind and attempts a german suplex, Juli rolls her up! 1 count, easy kick-out. Visper looks frustrated though, hits a snap suplex on Juli, then another, then another! She goes for the german again, easily gets it this time. She hangs on but then actually lets go at the 2 count."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Not a good sign for Juli..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "She invites Juli to come at her with whatever she has left. And Juli does just that, hitting a hurracarana then a lariat, then a frankensteiner for a shade under a 2 count. She goes for her own german suplex but Visper counts with her leg, stopping Juli's momentum, then suddenly jumps up to hit a back enziguri! Juli staggers forwards into the ropes, Visper kicks her in the stomach off the rebound, and then grabs her in another double arm suplex..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No! A tiger-bomb! Visper hits a HUGE tigerbomb! And she gets the easy 3 count! Wow!"
Visper Karr (O) [8:00 - Tigerbomb] (X) Juli Tanaka
[Mr. Clyde:] "A dominating victory for Visper Karr. And unlike Nicole, Visper did it with no over the top violence, but just straight pro wrestling ability over a woman herself known as a tough competitor
[Mr. Figaro:] "Juli is laying there, half beaten and half shocked. And Visper STILL looks like she barely broke a sweat! She looks just as ready as when she came out here!"
*Visper Karr goes over to slowly help Juli up. She hugs her and raises her hand. Juli does the same to Visper and motions around her waist like a belt, which the fans react strongly too. Visper nods and pats her on the back on Juli's way out.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, it doesn't look like there was any animosity there at all, really. Visper seemed quite respectful after the match. Although she has yet to smile this whole time."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper wanted Juli in the ring to test herself against her skills. Juli is a great barometer of wrestling ability and I have never seen anyone outwrestle Juli to that extent before."
*Visper Karr takes the microphone, pausing for a moment, waiting for the crowd to finish cheering Juli's efforts as she leaves through the curtain.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Finally! Come on Visper! Give Holly hell, unleash a verbal tirade!! Question her fashion sense! Doubt her ability to out insult you! Taunt her boyfriend! Actually, DON'T taunt her boyfriend. But taunt her boyfriend's mailman! That'll infuriate...someone."
*Visper looks around at the audience cheering her and then looks at the camera.*
[Visper:] "Holly, I hope you give me a good fight."
*Visper drops the microphone and walks off backstage.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "What the hell was that!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is the definition of focus."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That is the definition of disappointing.. Where was the "You, me, 60 minute Cambodian Death Match, you bring the oysters? First one to say "ah shucks", wins a bounty of passions and the right to flog the loser with the dreams of the anointed!"
*Mr. Clyde lets out a very rare but muted laugh. It almost sounds like a cough.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, you got me. It won't happen again."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Whoo!!!!! I made Clyde laugh!! I'm #1, baby!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "But back to Visper, the fans don't seem disappointed with her performance and words here. And, after what we saw with Nicole earlier tonight, Visper's actions throughout were a breath of fresh air."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can get you some of her clothes if you're into sniffing her..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Not judging, just saying."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And I think we're about to be joined by General Celes now as she has taken it upon herself to referee the next match."
*"Fields of Fantasy" plays on the speakers as General Celes makes her way to the stage with a microphone and a rolled up banner.*
[Celes:] "Sandy Morton and Linda Parker both have badly sprained backs: Sandy's may be broken. And Jill Chambers may have lost her mind. But Visper Karr IS OG-Joshi and for that, I remain hopeful. More then that, I remain confident."
*Celes begins unfurling the banner.*
[Celes:] "It has taken some time for me to think of an appropriate name for the upcoming PPV. I like them all to have meaning and not just be throwaway terms of aggression or violence. I like them to reflect where we have been, where we are, and, most importantly, where we are going."
*Celes finishes unfurling the banner, but we can not see it as it is pointed to her.*
[Celes:] "May this banner represent an OG-Joshi where banners themselves do not fear the disturbing fate their soiled cousin suffered earlier this month. May this banner represent an OG-Joshi where WE do not have to fear the grave injuries that have happened to TOO many in the past year. And may this banner represent the great changes that will occur after Visper Karr defeats Holly for the World Championship and brings OG-Joshi into a brave new age."
*Celes flips over the banner so we can see it - "OG-Joshi Renaissance."
[Celes:] "After the Renaissance PPV, the dark ages will be over. Holly and her unchecked power will be finished. She will have accountability for her actions. And I will see to it that the scourge she was indirectly responsible for will also be eliminated. As for many others in this promotion who have been tempted by their own dark sides, I offer one promise. Look to the #1 Contenders Battle Royale to see the triumph that striving for your best can lead you to. There is absolutely no way that anyone in that match with a score to settle can win. Unless you go in desiring the #1 contendership as your only objective, consider yourself as merely a footnote to the inevitable. To aid everyone in their journey, we shall see if the women in the next match, and the main event, can get the distracting tension out of their systems so that they can focus solely on the real goal at hand during Renaissance."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well said, Celes."
*Celes nods at Clyde and goes to the ring.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow...you think she's right? You think Visper, and OG-Joshi can get back on the right track?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think a few people are gonna be very irritated that you just said that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm thinking that's not as much of a big deal as it used to be."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Just wear a cup next time you see her, or him."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Noted."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And folks we're about to settle in for quite a star-studded tag match. Haley Cannon is a former OG-Joshi World Champion and is, arguably, one of the top 5 contenders to the world title. She will be teaming with Lana, a women who has been reinvigorated as of late. The two squared off in their own match a few months ago and, while Haley was victorious, Lana won over the respect of her and the crowd. Their opponents are two members of the former HAWT*Wing stable. Azumi Oonishi is a former OG-Joshi Tag Champion in her own right. And she teams with Alicia Gordon, a former holder of LAWL titles and someone who could have possibly won the OG-Joshi World Championship had it not been for the machinations of Holly's plan. Alicia and Lana have not seen eye to eye recently, with Lana aggressively espousing competition and Alicia still having to cope with her lust for revenge against Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That lust, mmmm....lust, for revenge transferred to violence against Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo. That happened partially because of the Cease Fire preventing Alicia from laying her hands on Holly, but also cause she is friends with Kat Black and was sick of watching Crimson and Lori attack Kat and Kim Cross. Mmm...Kim."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Lana felt things got out of hand with the attacks Alicia dealt onto both Lori and Crimson and tensions arose between the two. Celes is hoping the calming influence of Azumi and the pure competitiveness of Haley can bring the two to move past their differnces and focus on winning in OG-Joshi tonight, at Renaissance, and in the future."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think Lana is fine, really. She may be a bit angry at Alicia but i think her head is in the right place...well, the right place would be under the desk right now..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now you'll need an extra strength cup.."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I think Lana is gonna be ready for the Battle Royale with the right objective in mind. I'm not too sure about Alicia though."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia Gordon's story is turning tragic. There is no longer any doubt that Holly corrupted Alicia, but the question is can Alicia reclaim her lost spirit. When I first met Alicia before she joined OG-Joshi, she was a competitive but kind individual. Now, she is twisted by revenge and violence. Thunder Strike's influence, though well-meaning, has not been properly absorbed by her. And unfortunately, Jang Bae is not doing enough to step in."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, that's kinda...not really our business."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I did not want to call them out like that, but after failing to persuade them in private, Celes and I agreed there is little recourse. Gentleman of J.U.S.T.I.C.E, if you do not want to watch Alicia fall to further depths, I suggest you get her back on the right track."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ok, well um, Azumi is pretty hot. So I'm gonna focus on that now. She has really smooth skin, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's just get to the match. All four women are out..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah nice timing there on saying that stuff about Alicia AS she was walking out!! Maybe you need a cup too!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "She won't take violent recourse. She won't even look me in the eye."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You gotta stop worrying about J.U.S.T.I.C.E....especially on Geese's show."
[Mr. Clyde:] "He won't either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "*Gulp* Match...NOW."
Match #3: Alicia Gordon/Azumi Oonishi vs. Lana/Haley Cannon
Viddler Version
(Note: Google Video will soon no longer accept uploads so I'm experimenting with new video services in addition to Google which I already uploaded this and other shows too).
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[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow!! Welcome to 2009, Voltage!! Here's your early match of the year contender!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You got that right. All four women brought their competitive spirit. I think Haley was brilliant here but you can't discount Alicia at the end, hanging with the former OG-Joshi Champion. Nor can you sell short the huge impact Lana had on the match, or the continued rise of Azumi through the ranks against tougher opponents. Azumi was seen to be the weaker link of HAWT*Wing, but I think she is really developing as a solid foundation in tag team encounters."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Unfortunately, Alicia..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia was close to blinded by rage everytime she was in against Lana but I sensed she actually composed herself better againat Haley. Whether it was Haley's fighting spirit influencing Alicia or just the thrill of being in against someone of that high level: which was the reason Alicia came to OG-Joshi in the first place. However, and this is not to take away from Alicia's actual skills, Haley simply outwrestled her at the end and made her tap out to her signature LDT. Alicia is great when she wants to be, but Haley is phenomenal. I believe it is within Alicia's potential to get to that level, but she has to make it her first priority and put aside her vengeance."
Azumi/Alicia (X) [Lancashire Death Trap - 24:00] (O) Haley/Lana
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I'm shocked Alicia was able to resist the LDT earlier in the match! You gotta give her a lot of credit for that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Without a doubt, Haley Cannon has brought the best out of every opponent she has faced in OG-Joshi. Whether they were already great wrestlers like Jo Ryder and Kaori NiGHT, or women who struggled with their emotions like Holly and Alicia Gordon. If Haley's influence can keep Alicia focused on the real goal in the Battle Royale rather then violence, I think Alicia stands a real chance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think this match also showed what a great chance Lana has. Cause while she is also very skilled in ground based attacks, her striking is quick and deadly. And Azumi is also very quick and hard to "catch" in general. I think she will be an elusive presense in that match."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I agree. And now, let us take another commercial break."
*Commercials for the debuting KASHMIR Pro Wrestling are aired.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Our next match involves two top stars who will be involved in the Tag Title match at Renaissance. Jane Dod, of the Dods, will be facing Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT, the reigning champions."
[Mr. Figaro:] "J*NiGHT has held those titles for just under a year now, having won them at the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV. They defeated a tough HAWT*Wing team but haven't faced very much TAG competition since then. Meanwhile, the Dods have been on fire since joining OG-Joshi and are actually undefeated in both singles and tag competition. On the other side, Jenny McLanahan has had quite a year, winning the LAWL OMG Title. But both Jenny and Kaori teamed with Juli Tanaka and fell short against the Dods in tag competition."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Jane Dod also captured the EFW Angel's Championship last year so she's no stranger to singles gold. Whether that puts her on an even keel with one of the OG-Joshi legends, Kaori NiGHT, is a big question. This is, without a doubt, Jane's biggest singles match here but it also may serve as a preview to the tag title match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ominously, as we said the last time we saw the Dods, they've been on pretty good behavior, aside from a few altercations early on in their OG-Joshi career. But these are the Dods we're dealing with and so my guess is that they are saving the shenanigans til the PPV, but I wouldn't be shocked to see Jane try to work on Kaori's leg a LOT this match to soften it up. Kaori better be extra careful, especially if the fight goes outside and any foreign objects are close by! But Jane has got to be ready for Kaori as she is not intimidated by anyone. If Jane attempts any dirty moves, Kaori will not take that kind of disrespect sitting down! And muzzling Kaori's overwhelming offense has proven to be one of the harder tasks for a wrestler in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's see who can send a bigger message to the opposing team and get some extra momentum going into Renaissance."
Match #4: Kaori NiGHT vs. Jane Dod
(The Google Video preview pic spoiled the match so only Viddler here)
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[Mr. Figaro:] "Ahh! Those damn Dods! Those rabble-frabble-drabble Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'll excuse the profanity...as Jane and Polly just orchestrated a very large coup here. They took advantage of the momentarily downed Celes...who looks fine now, luckily, after that rough collision...as Polly Dod came out and obliterated Kaori with the PollyWhirl~2."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You gotta admire Kaori for fighting back at the end....it may have just been instinct though. And then Jane sealed the match with that vicious DDT of her that has put away so many opponents in the past."
Kaori NiGHT (X) [Implant DDT - 9:36] (O) Jane Dod
[Mr. Clyde:] "But this isn't over just yet, I believe. Jenny has come down to ringside and convinced Celes to call for a replay. OG-Joshi doesn't believe that the ref's decision is final when there is actual video evidence of wrongdoing."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah, um...instant replay technology isn't just for the fans, huh? Imagine that!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Celes is quite agitated about what has happened and appears to be telling the ring announcer that Jane has been disqualified."
Kaori NiGHT (O) [DIsqualification - Interference] (X) Jane Dod
[Mr. Figaro:] "This is little solace to Kaori who is STILL woozy and on the ground from the attack. But Jenny is doing her best to help her up and tell her the news."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Looks like Kaori won this match, after all. But I think the Dods message was sent loud and clear, victory or not."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I told ya Clyde, just a matter of time before the true Dod face was shown. And they picked an occasion where Kaori was alone and vulnerable, rather then the last few matches where there were 2 on 2 encounters. This is classic dirty Dod doggone-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, ok. We know."
*Jenny and Celes both help Kaori back up the ramp.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It appears Celes is indeed unaffected by that earlier collision, which is good news at least. And while Kaori appears shaken, I don't think she suffered any major injuries. Luckily for her, the two Dod moves affected different parts of her body so she won't have an injury due to a concentrated attack, but she's definitely banged up."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's just too bad I wasn't the one doing the banging."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, if Kaori was really hurt, I think Figaro would have more tact."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Gah, you're no fun!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we have one final commercial break, folks."
*Commercials for Dragon Pro Wrestling air.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It looks like Kenshin, the referee, is coming out to take over officiating for the main event, allowing Celes to make sure Kaori is ok. And I'm kind of glad Celes is staying out of the ring when Crimson Mask is coming."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So she doesn't get burnt?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So she doesn't get burned and then brutally annihilate Crimson Mask immediately after."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yeah, good point. I'd imagine Celes isn't in such a good mood now so getting a calmer referee is probably a good idea! Plus, Lori Cuozzo has the knack for making people want to smack her. Celes almost did just that when Lori kicked me in the Figs."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And that brings us to the next match, which has really been building up for a long time. Kat Black and Kim Cross have had seperate and combined issues with both Lori Cuozzo and Crimson Mask. Kat's problems with Crimson Mask date back to both of their debuts. This is when Crimson violently attacked Azumi Oonishi and Kat Black, having been the newest masked competitor, was under suspicion that she was working with Crimson Mask. Kat cleared her good name, to the ire of Crimson Mask, and the two fought after Kat prevented further attacks. Kat decisively won their match. However, that wasn't enough as the two also had a hardcore match a year later where Kat had to adapt to that style. Once again, Kat won. Crimson disappeared for a while after that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "This break allowed Kat and Kim to find each other and discuss their love for the commentators! After a lot of hot and heavy junior high school style group flirting, we all decided that it was best to go steady - well, Kat and Clyde, and Kim and I. No group weddings here, please."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm in rare agreement with you on a subject pertaining to Kat and Kim."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And after one date..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It only was ONE date..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "After a magical evening was ruined by Lori Cuozzo..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Whom we managed to unintentionally get fired from her job as a waitress..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Cause she believed that customers are NOT always right...she and Crimson went onto attack Kat and Kim during a match they had at the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV! The nerve of them! The gall! The unmitigated GALL"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And so Kat and Kim just want to get rid of this burden by now, especially since they are looking forward to competing in the #1 Contender Battle Royale. It won't help them to have tension with Lori and Crimson and so hopefully all four women can just put it behind them after this match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That really can't happen though. Every time Kat and Kim beat them in some way, they just come right back! And we both know Kat and Kim won't stand to lose to them!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think Kat and Kim have their eyes on the World Title more then these two opponents. Which may be a distraction for them in THIS match but shouldn't be at Renaissance. Now, as for Lori and Crimson, I don't know what, if any, their title aspirations are. Lori appears slightly more likely to want a Title shot as she came into OG-Joshi wanting to prove she was better then everyone else. But Crimson Mask has shown no need or desire to WIN matches. Her agenda is fulfilled when she hurts somebody, makes them bleed, and injures them. Wearing a gold belt is nothing compared to opening up a red gash."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I like opening up a pink-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And so I wonder if Celes' speech earlier will have any affect on Crimson Mask. I believe Kat and Kim are exactly the type of wrestlers Celes felt belonged in the Battle Royale, and Lori is the the type of wrestler Celes was speaking to earlier, much like she did to Alicia. If Lori wants to achieve great things in OG-Joshi, she has to control her temper and put aside petty feuds with Kat and Kim. Kat and Kim don't want to mire themselves in these situations, they want to win Championship gold. Lori has the ability to compete on that level, but she needs the desire. Hopefully the Battle Royale can put her on the right path."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I agree, Crimson is kind of a lost cause."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It takes a lot for Celes to give up on anyone. Crimson is nearing that point but that Battle Royale will be literally two steps away from the title for her, for everyone. It's the best opportunity she has ever had here and perhaps will ever have again. If that doesn't spur her to action, then I can see Celes outright throwing her off the roster for lack of purpose. But if Crimson can show us something, that she may actually have designs to compete and win the title, then she can survive here yet."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And right now, SURVIVE is a good word, cause I have a feeling this next match is gonna be somewhat of a war between these teams. A tornado tag match between two groups that simple detest each other. I just hope Kat and Kim can stay away from Crimson's fire attack. At least Kat has that mask on, it's all flesh for Kim! All sweet, soft cheeky flesh...."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Here we go..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Why did the Kim "Cross" the road?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "There's no way this ends well. We're going to the match now."
[Mr. Figaro:] "To get on the Figaro ride!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ahem, NOW."
Match #5: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
Viddler Version
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[Mr. Clyde:] "Other then a few rough spots, I think Kat and Kim won that match quite handily."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ahh!! Too much violence!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kim appears just fine and put the match away with a double german suplex. After a number of finishing attempts by both women, a disparate amount compared to the opponents, Kat and Kim got a decisive victory."
Kat/Kim (O) [Double German Suplex - 23:20] (X) Crimson/Lori
[Mr. Figaro:] "I don't think Crimson WANTED to end the match, that's why she didn't try to finish it. Kat and Kim wanted to send a message by earning the victory and getting out of there. Crimson wanted them to suffer and Lori, well, Lori was pretty tough, I'll give her credit. Even when Crimson seemed to have no answer to the Kat/Kim superteam of wrestling, Lori kept fighting."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true but it wasn't enough. Both Kat and Kim were at the top of their singles AND team game here. Remember they have had some success in the past year as a team, more then Crimson and Lori had. And I think they also are able to trust each other whereas Crimson and Lori just rely on mutual hatred. It's not exactly the strongest bond."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Kat and Kim are bonded by their mutual love for us. It's heartwearming...and groingrabbing."
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's something all right."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Lori and Crimson actually appear to be too winded to attempt any post match attacks. This is a first for them!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think the fact that Celes is now making her way to ringside is a further deterrent."
*Celes comes to the ring and shakes hands with Kat and Kim, apparently offering them words of praise and support. She also grabs a microphone.*
[Celes:] "You are looking at two of the most likely wrestlers to win the Battle Royale: Kat Black and Kim Cross. Ladies and gentlemen, we are now just one show away from our next PPV. Amplitude will be coming to you soon where I will be announcing two new matches for Reniassiance. For those on the Voltage roster, I believe you all have definitive goals. And it will be my pleasure to open up the next Voltage with the new OG-Joshi World Champion and the new #1 Contender."
*Kat and Kim look at each other and nod their heads. Celes stays in the ring with them, further fending off any chances of a post match altercation with their opponents.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat and Kim each know what is at stake here. While they have certainly gotten closer as partners and even friends, they are going to do their absolute best to win at Renaissance. The same goes for Haley and Lana, as well as Azumi and...hopefully Alicia. As for Crimson and Lori, their objectives are anyone's guess. But one thing is for sure, and that is we WILL have a new #1 Contender at Renaissance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Whether we'll have a new Champion is less certain but even more intriguing."
[Mr. Clyde:] "We hope you all enjoy the final Amplitude as those women have been working hard to get noticed and get a PPV match of their own. But for Voltage, this is Mr. Clyde and, on behalf of Mr. Figaro, we will see you at Renaissance."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'll be painting the Mona Kima!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And not from the bushes outside her house as you usually do. Good night, folks."
*Fin*