December 2008 Voltage
Dec 2, 2008 2:53:30 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Dec 2, 2008 2:53:30 GMT -5
December 2008 Voltage
*Peter Venkman Memorial Arena erupts in various glitter, confetti, and other "OMG ITS IN MY EYES" affects. We go right to the commentary booth where Mr. Clyde joins a dancing Mr. Figaro.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "ITS LIKE A RAVE HERE!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You hate raves."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I love picking up girls after they are done with raves!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Touche."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey, we just started the show, no need for the sailor mouth!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hello and welcome to Voltage, everyone. We have a very big show for you as always."
A small graphic appears on the Orochi-Tron with the card for tonight*
1) Narai Kaeo vs. Keina
2) Jenny McLanahan/Juli Tanaka vs. Jane Dod/Polly Dod
3) Alicia Gordon vs. Crimson Mask
4) Visper Karr vs. Azumi Oonishi
[Mr. Clyde:] "The #1 Contender to the OG-Joshi World Championship will be tested against former Tag Champion and perennial competitor, Azumi Oonishi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Perennial? She's not a thousand years old, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I...ok, let's keep going here. Narai Kaeo makes her debut against Keina of KENTA! Army in a match I can only HOPE was a glaring oversight on Shino's behalf."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Shino wants to toughen KENTA! Army up and they don't get any tougher then a Moooooo Thai fighter!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Mooooo?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I most certainly do NOT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Relax, it was just something i heard one of our refs saying, once."
[Mr. Clyde:] "The idea of a ninja cow is abhorrent."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Relax, now you're calling people whores!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, it's clear you are being extra uncooperative tonight. So rather then continue to open myself up to these comments, let's just get to the action."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I made a bet with Celes that you wouldn't get beyond two intros for matches tonight!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Actually, I think Celes bet on you being RIGHT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wait...oh, oh damn!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And she's splitting the money with me."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You thief!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wrong party member."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Technically you could equip many of his thief gear-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Enough."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Now I'm mad, I wanted that bet money for pron!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We got a glimpse of Narai Kaeo during the previous Voltage. She made a very big impression on many of the wrestlers in the locker room."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Some were concerned, some were offended, and some were just confused about having certain feelings for a woman who was built like a man."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm staying well away from that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Denial doesn't heal, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Neither does absurdity."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Narai's all muscle, Clyde. I don't even know what I'd do with her."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Start by not making jokes and she won't kick your head off."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm not sure if I'd like that or not."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Narai has come to us via manager, a Miss Asako Matsuki. She has been promoting her acquisition of Narai all over the world and even used her connections to get Narai on Voltage rather then starting off on Amplitude. Whether Narai's Muay Thai prowess will allow her to compensate for her total lack of pro wrestling experience is a point of debate for many of our fans, wrestlers, and management. But the only way to find out is to see what she can do."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Keina isn't the best measure of that ability, I fear."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yeah, I have to agree with you. Keina isn't that experienced, herself."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh gawd I can imagine. Those are the best ones sometimes!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "STOP! I mean in the ring!"
*Figaro starts laughing*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh you dog, you!!! What 'ring' are you talking about!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "....."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Getting too hot under the ninja collar, Clyde?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's try to focus here. Narai Kaeo is currently being led to the ring by Miss Matsuki. And we're about to see an age old tradition as Asako places the "Mongkol" on Narai's head. This is a sacred headband that Muay Thai fighters wear. While OG-Joshi generally shuns such head gear out of safety concerns for our wrestlers, OrochiGeese has ordered an exception be made for this garb."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, Narai has got to be careful because there are plenty of wrestlers here who could use that against Narai in a fight. Not that I'd want to see Narai flip the hell out if someone did that."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think that's pretty much the check on that situation."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, I doubt her opponent now would do anything like that. Keina is sweet as can be!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Enough, they're both in the ring, let's watch the match!'
Match #1: Keina vs. Narai Kaeo
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[Mr. Clyde:] "You gotta give Keina credit for having enough guts to even get in the ring."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think Narai just tenderized Keina's guts after that match, especially that final powerbomb!!"
Keina (X) [Powerbomb Reversal - 9:23] (O) Narai Kaeo
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you have to give credit to Narai Kaeo for having the pro wrestling wherewithal to turn a mistake of Keina's into an actual pinning predicament. You don't get too many attempted hurracanrana's in Muay Thai but Narai responded quite deftly when the situation came up."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Of course, there couldn't have been too much power behind Keina's move after she got hit with that FIERCE punch-kick-DESTROY combination!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I believe Miss Matsuki calls that the ApoKaeolypse."
[Mr. Figaro:] "CLEVER!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it looks like Narai has, at least for now, dispelled any doubts about her abilities in a wrestling ring."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Dispel? Is Narai a mag-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it looks like Miss Matsuki is entering the ring now."
*Asako Matsuki runs into the ring and raises the hand of the victorious Narai Kaeo. She then yells at the ring crew for her to be given a microphone.*
[Asako:] "You are all looking at the fiercest fighter in OG-Joshi and the world today. Narai has come to prove that her Muay Thai is the best style in the world. I think General Celes has to show more respect to Narai and give her tougher opponents because this little girl tonight was inadequate competition! Narai Kaeo has knocked out male Muay Thai champions! So Let's give better fights for Narai and OG-Joshi!"
*Asako raises Narai's hand again and carefully removes the Mongkol from Narai's head as the two walk to the back.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we're ready for our next match. This has very big implications for the OG-Joshi Tag division. During the previous Voltage, Jane and Polly Dod defeated Juli Tanaka and Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Is Juli the 'asterisk' in J*NiGHT?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Functionally, yes. As a result of the Dod victory, a clean victory no less, General Celes made a stipulation for this match. If the Dods can defeat Juli and one half of the OG-Joshi Tag Champions, Jenny McLanahan, tonight, then the Dods get a Tag Title match at the upcoming PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's a huge opportunity for them and I have to say, J*NiGHT may have their hands full with them damn Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "The Dods are known for underhanded techniques and we've certainly seen them do some undesirable things before and after matches. But what's truly scary is how effective they can be even without resorting to devious tactics. Polly is a former PW-W Women's Champion, Jane is a former EFW Women's Champion. We are dealing with a team of highly accomplished and elite wrestlers, ones that do not get intimidated, do not lack confidence or skill, and pose the single biggest threat right now to the Champions in the OG-Joshi Tag Division."
[Mr. Figaro:] "As much as I hate to say it, I agree that the Dods are major trouble. MAJOR TROUBLE. And I think they are about to show Jenny, much as they showed Kaori, that they mean business."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Juli Tanaka has already felt the wrath of the Dods for a few straight shows now, so perhaps she is a bit more used to them and can use that experience."
[Mr. Figaro:] "On the flipside, she might be thoroughly intimidated and resigned that she can not stop them. But she's a tough wrestler, herself."
[Mr. Clyde:] "She was the main trainer of the McPro gym, I don't think she gets intimidated. I've heard horror stories of her whipping even the largest wrestler into shape."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm totally into that if she wants to give me a call."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm sure she's glad to hear that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But for now, let's see how she faces up against the Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to this match. If the Dods win, they get a title shot at the PPV. If they don't..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Then WE do!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "No."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I want another tag championship!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You just want an excuse to be pinned by Kim Cross in a tag team contender match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Sometimes the truth hurts, other times it's firm and soft."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to the ring."
Match #2: J*NiGHT vs. The Dods
Jenny McLanahan/Juli Tanaka vs. Jane and Polly Dod
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And the Dods have just earned themselves a shot at the OG-Joshi Tag Championships."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, they did more then that. The Dods just sent a MESSAGE to J*NiGHT that their days as champions are numbered."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I don't agree. I think that Jenny, one half of the tag champions, hung in there for a very long time and was beginning to actually tire down Jane at the end. Jane was fresh going into that final encounter but Jenny actually had her in trouble a few times. Juli is a quality competitor but was clearly outmatched as this encounter went on. It was Jenny up against both Jane and Polly and eventually the fatigue and damage set in. When Jenny has Kaori backing her up, I think J*NiGHT have more then a fighting chance to defend their belts."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, I know you have a lot of admiration for the whole McLanahan Clan but the fact is, the Dods just steamrolled over Jenny and Juli here. And while Kaori is certainly going to help Jenny more then Juli did, I think what we saw tonight was that the Dods had energy to SPARE."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well I certainly think we are going to have an exciting match at the PPV for the OG-Joshi Tag Championships, a title becoming more coveted by the day thanks to the high quality competition we have and, from what I have heard, are obtaining."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's right, I did hear that more tag teams are on their way to OG-Joshi and the J*NIGHT and Dod rivalry will serve as a guide to everyone about what it takes to be the best here."
Juli Tanaka/Jenny McLanahan (X) [Reverse STF - 27:50] (X) Jane Dod/Polly Dod
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's time for our next match. At the previous Voltage, Alicia Gordon faced and utterly obliterated Lori Cuozzo in a hardcore match. Alicia hit her with a chair and kicked her in the face repeatedly until the referee actually had to end the match to save Lori's longterm health. However, Alicia kept the assault going until Crimson Mask came to Lori's aid."
[Mr. Figaro:] "We said it last show...something is SERIOUSLY rotten in OG-Joshi if Crimson Mask is the one making a save on someone's career."
[Mr. Clyde:] "However, lest we think Crimson Mask turned over a new leaf, she challenged Alicia to a match for tonight as revenge for what happened to Lori. We don't know what Crimson Mask has planned but we do know this is an exhibition match with regular, non-hardcore rules. To make sure these rules are enforced, Celes has assigned our top referee, Himura, to the ring during this match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I honestly don't know who is going to try to break the rules faster, Clyde. Crimson Mask has been responsible for a record number of injuries in OG-Joshi but Alicia Gordon has just been insatiable in her lust for violence recently. And it pains me to mention "lust" in such a negative connotation too!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I see your mighty heart breaking."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Damn straight! I have wounded feelings here, Clyde! A torn-up soul!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We now have Alicia Gordon coming down to the ring. And she is NOT getting the ovation she usually gets. Many of the younger members of the audience who used to love her for her lighthearted LAWL work are noticeably silent and even disturbed at her stoic ring entrance. She's no longer coming out to "California Love" either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And that's just the final kick in the scrote! I love that song, Clyde!!
[Mr. Clyde:] "Did you just say the 'scrote?'"
[Mr. Figaro:] "California lovvvvvvveee! booooomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom, booooomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom. Mr. Figaro...knows how to party, Mr. Figaro...knows how to party! In the cityyyyyy...of Figaro's pants. In the cityyyyyyyy"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wow...I'm sick all over after hearing that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "In the cityyyyy-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now Alicia is coming out to a song called "Wanderer on the Offensive" which appears to sum up her recent mood change."
*Mr. Figaro is dancing*
[Mr. Figaro:] "We keeps it rockin..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, well you can 'keeps it 'rockin' but we have a small problem here. It appears that Alicia's opponent has not showed up and is nowhere to be found backstage either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Crowd, Clyde, she's in the crowd. She always goes for sneak attacks. Or maybe she's under the ring. Or maybe she's wearing your outfit and is right next to me!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Right...with my voice..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Or maybe she's wearing MY SKIN and is right next to you!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'd imagine she has better rhythm."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ouch. That really hurt. I was trying to be all 'California Love' and you just went all 'Compton mood-killah' on me."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, now I'm gonna go all 'Clyde commercial break' on all of us while we find out what's going on with Crimson Mask's tardyness."
*Commercials for the UBL November Open*
*We return from commercials and go backstage to Visper Karr's locker room where we see General Celes shaking her hand.*
[Celes:] "Miss Karr, I'd like to ask you a favor."
[Visper:] "What can I do for ya, boss lady?"
[Celes:] "As you may know, Alicia Gordon is scheduled to face Crimson Mask tonight. However, Crimson is either running late or simply can not be found as of this time. If you are ready for your match with Azumi Oonishi now, it would help me very much for you to go on next. Azumi has already consented."
[Visper:] "Well, if she's fine with it, I'm fine with it."
[Celes:] "Yes, I figured you would be. You are the #1 Contender to the World Title, after all. I again apologize for putting you on the spot though and taking you away from the main event as promised. I just very much would like tonight's match with Alicia and Crimson Mask to take place. There has been a lot of violence around here lately and I need to sort out -"
[Visper:] "You want to make sure that certain people get what's coming to them. That's fine, I get it. And you don't need to explain yourself to me; I'm just here to wrestle. Dark match, main event, pay-per-view - it doesn't matter all that much to me."
*A trace of a grin is seen on Celes' face as she nods, almost more to herself then Visper.*
[Celes:] "All right then. We'll see you out there in the ring soon. Good luck in your match."
*We go back to the ring where Figaro is suddenly wearing a shirt that says " Playa hata" with an arrow pointing...to the opposite direction of Clyde.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Your clever shirt has been foiled as you somehow forgot I always sit to the left of you."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But since we're on camera...it's really the opposite direction!"
*Mr. Clyde puts his head in his hands, clearly exasperated*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yep, I won THIS round!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well I sure as hell didn't, that's for sure."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ha!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "As Crimson Mask is still missing, Celes obtained the permission of both Visper and Azumi to have their match right now. While I'm not surprised they were ready to go and cooperative, it's still nice to see, especially with the belligerent attitudes of many on the roster."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well you may think Azumi is a thousand years old, but she's always very helpful! And Visper is a class act...and you can't spell class without ASS. And Visper's got one of the best."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you're making one of yourself."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ouch, the hate burns, Clyde! It burns!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So do my ears."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's so hot I'm melting!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Luckily Visper and Azumi have made it to the ring quickly. For Visper, this may be her last match before getting to face Holly for the OG-Joshi World Title at the PPV. For Azumi, this is her chance to prove that she has improved sufficiently as a singles competitor to be considered a top contender for that title. Both woman are passionate but professional fighters and I am sure we are going to get a very fast-paced, technical match that you fans should enjoy."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm MELTING IN BURNING HATE!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Let's get to the match."
Match #3: Visper Karr vs. Azumi Oonishi
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And what a match we just had!'
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can't believe how hard Azumi just fought. She fell short but wow, she really showed us something tonight."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper Karr showed how dangerous she can be when you try to outwrestle her. She put that match away less then 10 seconds after it looked like Azumi had her where she wanted her. Just a quick leg trip took Azumi by surprise and that snap german suplex put the match away decisively."
Visper Karr (O) [Snap German Suplex - 20:20] (X) Azumi Oonishi
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Azumi certainly deserves credit for pushing the #1 contender like that. She had Visper in a few pinning positions that would have ended the encounter against lesser opponents."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Visper showed once again why she is the most deserving of that title shot. Holly better be aware of how quickly Visper can put away a match, a skill that Holly herself has shown in the past as well. But I think Azumi did what she set out to do and showed she is a threat as a singles wrestler."
*After both woman recover, they meet in the ring and shake hands. Azumi raises Visper's arm and makes a "belt motion" around Visper's waist.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It looks like Azumi is rooting for Visper to win Holly's belt. Not a surprise considering everything that happened with Holly and Dizzy, but a very pleasant showing nonetheless."
[Mr. Figaro:] "If they hug now, I'll be pleasant in my PANTS."
*Sure enough, they hug briefly and walk back from the ring together.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "My day is totally made. And if I retain my photographic memory, my night will be too."
[Mr. Clyde:] "My night will be made if I FORGET what you just said."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Don't worry, I'll call you later and remind you!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, folks, I think we're about ready for what should be the final match and main event. But there's no guarantee that we're even going to HAVE it, at this rate. Alicia isn't out yet, perhaps she's waiting for Crimson to get to the ring first. All I know is...wait, I'm getting word from the back that...hmm, wait, why is SHE coming out now?"
*There's a brief pause in the action, and the crowd quiets down, waiting for.... something. It doesn't take long for them to be appeased, because the PA system opens up with driving rock music - the fans are up on their feet, eager to see the woman who comes out to 'Stealing Society' - Lana. She steps through the curtain, pausing and giving the crowd a small bow on her way to the ring. Her expression, though not angry, is certainly not happy.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Folks, I don't know what exactly is about to happen here, but Lana has come to ringside."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's an odd time but it looks like Lana's got something to say tonight. Maybe she's mad at Haley Cannon for the loss she took last Voltage."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Somehow, I doubt it. Those two had a terrific match and I'd be damned if Lana seems the type to hold a grudge over someone who beat her legitimately."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I don't know, I think she still holds a grudge against me for that one time I saw her in her locker room, completely nak-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "-and somehow, that doesn't surprise me. Lana's in ring now, eying the fans with an ice cold stare, even while they cheer her on. She calls for a mic, and one of our dedicated lackeys hands one up into the ring."
*Lana has the mic in hand, but still hasn't spoken, simply watching the crowd cheer.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey! Isn't she wearing a different ring outfit?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, indeed she is... perhaps after her match with Haley Cannon, she felt it was time for a change?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "If Lana wants change, I'd be happy to show her a world of new experiences."
*Mr. Clyde simply sighs, and doesn't reply. Lana brings the mic up, and begins to finally speak.*
[Lana:] "Listen up, kiddies. Last Voltage, I had the pleasure of taking on Haley Cannon, our former Champion. It was back and forth, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the hell out of myself. Haley's one of the few wrestlers here that can wrestle a match and not screw someone over, or steal victories - she earns them."
[Mr. Clyde:] "True, Haley Cannon has a rep for being a straight shooter in the ring, which is why she made a great champion."
[Lana:] "However, our match stands in stark contrast to the match that followed it - Lori and Alicia had a match, and to be honest... it rather sickened me. Not that I don't enjoy a bit of the ultraviolence now and then, but come the hell on! It was a straight beatdown, and Alicia shouldn't even be allowed to fight people that aren't fighting back. Sure, she's mean and evil and she knocked Lori straight out, but that is no reason this shit should be booked. So, I have a little something to say to Alicia..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey, Clyde, do you feel the love in this room? I do."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Most of the time that you talk... it hurts me. Right in the brain."
[Lana:] "Miz Gordon - let's be honest. I don't know you, you don't know me. What I do know about you is that you have a penchant for knocking out people who aren't fit to be in the ring with you. What I don't know... is how you'd fare against someone in your own league... namely... me. Because, let's be honest, you apparently like knocking people out. That's my bag too, hun. They don't call me the Queen of Knocked The Fuck Out for no reason, you know. So here's my suggestion, providing you and our bookers can dig it..."
*The crowd cheers Lana on, finally sensing where she's going with this."
[Lana:] "You, me, and no distractions. I wanna see where you're coming from, see if you're truly fit to act the phenom as you do. Whaddya say, 'Leesh'? You ready to throw down in some old fashion fisticuffs? Or do ya turn tail when someone brings the noise your way?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wow, a direct challenge to Alicia."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And on a night where Alicia was ready for a fight...but her opponent didn't show up!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I've never seen Alicia back down from a fight and-
*"Wanderer on the Offensive" begins to play on the speakers.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Looks like this won't be an exception."
*Alicia Gordon comes down the ramp with a stoic expression yet again. She grabs a microphone and gets into the ring, face to face with Lana.*
[Alicia:] "I don't know why you need to stick your nose in my business but you picked the wrong night to do it. You fight me and I'll be seeing Crimson Mask the whole time. Unfortunately for you, that's what you'll see in the mirror when you get back to your locker room after the match."
*A nervous and uncomfortable rumbling is felt in the crowd.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow...that was..kinda uncalled for!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I have to agree there, I've never heard Alicia talk like that... or at least, not to someone who hasn't already wronged her physically. Lana called her out but I think Alicia is out of line here."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well one thing's for sure, Alicia's line about seeing Crimson Mask is about to come true!!"
*At that moment, Crimson Mask just began to emerge from under the ring with a chair. She rolls into the ring and goes to hit Alicia with it, but Lana pushes Alicia out of the way and knocks Crimson Mask to the mat with a hook to the chin. Alicia regains her bearings and realizes what happens. She immediately pounces onto Crimson Mask and begins drilling her with elbows from the top mount position."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia is unleashing those elbows like missiles. Remember that Alicia has held the WCCF Championship and knows a thing or two about ground fighting. This really isn't Crimson's area of expertise."
*Lana finally grabs Alicia off of Lana, but Alicia holds on to the ropes long enough to deliver a few hard kicks to Crimson's ribs.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "This is a brutal assault and it's no longer self-defense either."
*Lana finally pulls Alicia off of Lana and the two begin shoving each other.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "You can't blame Lana here, she did the same thing for Crimson Mask as she did for Alicia: tried to save each from serious injury."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Alicia only cares about her own ass...a cute one at that, mind you...being saved from serious injury, not serious injury in general."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Which leads me to believe that Celes is right."
[Mr. Figaro:] "What's that?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Celes is now coming to ringside."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's not what you said before, but it IS true now!"
*Celes comes to ringside with a microphone.*
[Celes:] "Everyone here has some steam to blow off. I'll allow this in a 3 Way dance...but no hardcore rules. If this gets out of hand, I'm ordering the ref to stop the match."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And after it looking like we weren't gonna get a main event at all, we now have a 3 Way dance between these three very angry women. Although Crimson had initially taken a beating at the hands, well, elbows and feet of Alicia, she had time to recover a bit during the shoving match between Alicia and Lana. Crimson is up on her feet and immediately pounces on both Alicia and Lana! Folks, let's get to this match as Himura has run down to ringside to officiate."
Match #4: Lana vs. Alicia Gordon vs. Crimson Mask
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[Mr. Clyde:] "I can't believe what we just saw."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Lori Cuozzo is back and has taken a large measure of revenge against Alicia Gordon. She wasn't too shy about attacking Lana either!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Lana was in the wrong place at the wrong time for Crimson and Lori, but no pardon was given. Alicia was directly targetted and received some brutal punishment before she was saved by Kat Black, Kim Cross, Haley Cannon and General Celes."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So what of the match itself?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Once Lori interfered, the match was correctly ruled a no contest by the referee."
Lana (-) Alicia (-) Crimson Mask (-) [No Contest]
*Celes grabs a microphone as Lori and Crimson make a hasty retreat.*
[Celes:] "Now now, you two may want to hear this as it concerns you as well."
*Kat begins helping Alicia up while Haley does the same for Lana.*
[Celes:] "There is certainly a lot of tension in the air but I think I can help alleviate it. Many of you want a match with each other and I am prepared to grant you that. However, seeing as how you are all top contenders to the OG-Joshi Title, I feel I must address a certain situation. Once Visper Karr defeats Holly for the Title, we will have no immediate #1 Contender. As you all know, once a contender or challenger loses their title in a decisive fashion, they go to the back of the line. Now some of you are uniquely worthy of such a title contender distinction but also want to spend your time fighting people like Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo, or... each other."
*Celes looks specifically at Alicia who has clawed her way to the corner using the ropes.*
[Celes:] "So what I want to do is propose this match. At the PPV, there will be a Battle Royale pitting all seven of you against each other, plus Azumi Oonishi who no doubt proved herself earlier as a top singles contender. Whoever wins the match will become the new #1 contender to the OG-Joshi World Title and will receive a guaranteed Title shot. For those that want that honor and achievement above all primitive feelings of anger and revenge, you know full well the correct means to try to get it."
*Celes looks at Haley, Lana, Kim, and Kat who nod back.*
[Celes:] "For those that simply want to fight it out with no regard to the values or true rewards of OG-Joshi, I'm hoping this title shot will persuade you to approach the match from the right perspective and beat your opponents legitimately. I remind you all that the quickest way to victory remains a 3 count or quick submission, not an extended vicious beating of an already hurt opponent. While a few of you may have the desire to attack a defenseless and destroyed opponent, perhaps being rewarded with a Title shot for a competitive-minded victory will get you on the right track."
*Celes looks at Lori and Crimson Mask, before looking again at Alicia*
[Celes:] "If it doesn't, then I look forward to you be soundly and quickly defeated in this match by those in it for the right reasons. In any case, I look forward to seeing the new #1 Contender rise to the occasion and earn their spot. And I am sure our next Champion, Visper Karr, will be eager to test your mettle when the time comes for you to get your Title shot."
*Celes leaves the ring and walks to the back as Lori and Crimson both laugh at their earlier handwork and the five in the ring stare uneasily at each other. Alicia and Lana both get up on their own power but have to balance against the turnbuckles as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the ring. Kat and Kim both nod to each other at the future task at hand.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh no, Kat and Kim are gonna compete against each other!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You couldn't prevent it forever..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But if Kim wins the Battle Royale, she'll be one victory away from being the OG-Joshi World Champion."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And General Celes certainly made a huge match for the PPV. Eight women in a Battle Royale to earn the #1 Contendership. I'm sure we'll hear more about this in the coming weeks leading to the PPV. But for now, on behalf of Mr. Figaro and OG-Joshi, thanks for tuning into Voltage. We'll see you again next month for the final Voltage before the long awaited PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
*Fin*
*Peter Venkman Memorial Arena erupts in various glitter, confetti, and other "OMG ITS IN MY EYES" affects. We go right to the commentary booth where Mr. Clyde joins a dancing Mr. Figaro.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "ITS LIKE A RAVE HERE!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You hate raves."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I love picking up girls after they are done with raves!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Touche."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey, we just started the show, no need for the sailor mouth!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Hello and welcome to Voltage, everyone. We have a very big show for you as always."
A small graphic appears on the Orochi-Tron with the card for tonight*
1) Narai Kaeo vs. Keina
2) Jenny McLanahan/Juli Tanaka vs. Jane Dod/Polly Dod
3) Alicia Gordon vs. Crimson Mask
4) Visper Karr vs. Azumi Oonishi
[Mr. Clyde:] "The #1 Contender to the OG-Joshi World Championship will be tested against former Tag Champion and perennial competitor, Azumi Oonishi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Perennial? She's not a thousand years old, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I...ok, let's keep going here. Narai Kaeo makes her debut against Keina of KENTA! Army in a match I can only HOPE was a glaring oversight on Shino's behalf."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Shino wants to toughen KENTA! Army up and they don't get any tougher then a Moooooo Thai fighter!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Mooooo?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I most certainly do NOT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Relax, it was just something i heard one of our refs saying, once."
[Mr. Clyde:] "The idea of a ninja cow is abhorrent."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Relax, now you're calling people whores!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, it's clear you are being extra uncooperative tonight. So rather then continue to open myself up to these comments, let's just get to the action."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I made a bet with Celes that you wouldn't get beyond two intros for matches tonight!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Actually, I think Celes bet on you being RIGHT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wait...oh, oh damn!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And she's splitting the money with me."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You thief!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wrong party member."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Technically you could equip many of his thief gear-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Enough."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Now I'm mad, I wanted that bet money for pron!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We got a glimpse of Narai Kaeo during the previous Voltage. She made a very big impression on many of the wrestlers in the locker room."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Some were concerned, some were offended, and some were just confused about having certain feelings for a woman who was built like a man."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm staying well away from that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Denial doesn't heal, Clyde."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Neither does absurdity."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Narai's all muscle, Clyde. I don't even know what I'd do with her."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Start by not making jokes and she won't kick your head off."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm not sure if I'd like that or not."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Narai has come to us via manager, a Miss Asako Matsuki. She has been promoting her acquisition of Narai all over the world and even used her connections to get Narai on Voltage rather then starting off on Amplitude. Whether Narai's Muay Thai prowess will allow her to compensate for her total lack of pro wrestling experience is a point of debate for many of our fans, wrestlers, and management. But the only way to find out is to see what she can do."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Keina isn't the best measure of that ability, I fear."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yeah, I have to agree with you. Keina isn't that experienced, herself."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh gawd I can imagine. Those are the best ones sometimes!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "STOP! I mean in the ring!"
*Figaro starts laughing*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh you dog, you!!! What 'ring' are you talking about!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "....."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Getting too hot under the ninja collar, Clyde?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's try to focus here. Narai Kaeo is currently being led to the ring by Miss Matsuki. And we're about to see an age old tradition as Asako places the "Mongkol" on Narai's head. This is a sacred headband that Muay Thai fighters wear. While OG-Joshi generally shuns such head gear out of safety concerns for our wrestlers, OrochiGeese has ordered an exception be made for this garb."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, Narai has got to be careful because there are plenty of wrestlers here who could use that against Narai in a fight. Not that I'd want to see Narai flip the hell out if someone did that."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I think that's pretty much the check on that situation."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well, I doubt her opponent now would do anything like that. Keina is sweet as can be!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Enough, they're both in the ring, let's watch the match!'
Match #1: Keina vs. Narai Kaeo
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[Mr. Clyde:] "You gotta give Keina credit for having enough guts to even get in the ring."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I think Narai just tenderized Keina's guts after that match, especially that final powerbomb!!"
Keina (X) [Powerbomb Reversal - 9:23] (O) Narai Kaeo
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you have to give credit to Narai Kaeo for having the pro wrestling wherewithal to turn a mistake of Keina's into an actual pinning predicament. You don't get too many attempted hurracanrana's in Muay Thai but Narai responded quite deftly when the situation came up."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Of course, there couldn't have been too much power behind Keina's move after she got hit with that FIERCE punch-kick-DESTROY combination!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I believe Miss Matsuki calls that the ApoKaeolypse."
[Mr. Figaro:] "CLEVER!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it looks like Narai has, at least for now, dispelled any doubts about her abilities in a wrestling ring."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Dispel? Is Narai a mag-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it looks like Miss Matsuki is entering the ring now."
*Asako Matsuki runs into the ring and raises the hand of the victorious Narai Kaeo. She then yells at the ring crew for her to be given a microphone.*
[Asako:] "You are all looking at the fiercest fighter in OG-Joshi and the world today. Narai has come to prove that her Muay Thai is the best style in the world. I think General Celes has to show more respect to Narai and give her tougher opponents because this little girl tonight was inadequate competition! Narai Kaeo has knocked out male Muay Thai champions! So Let's give better fights for Narai and OG-Joshi!"
*Asako raises Narai's hand again and carefully removes the Mongkol from Narai's head as the two walk to the back.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we're ready for our next match. This has very big implications for the OG-Joshi Tag division. During the previous Voltage, Jane and Polly Dod defeated Juli Tanaka and Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Is Juli the 'asterisk' in J*NiGHT?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Functionally, yes. As a result of the Dod victory, a clean victory no less, General Celes made a stipulation for this match. If the Dods can defeat Juli and one half of the OG-Joshi Tag Champions, Jenny McLanahan, tonight, then the Dods get a Tag Title match at the upcoming PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's a huge opportunity for them and I have to say, J*NiGHT may have their hands full with them damn Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "The Dods are known for underhanded techniques and we've certainly seen them do some undesirable things before and after matches. But what's truly scary is how effective they can be even without resorting to devious tactics. Polly is a former PW-W Women's Champion, Jane is a former EFW Women's Champion. We are dealing with a team of highly accomplished and elite wrestlers, ones that do not get intimidated, do not lack confidence or skill, and pose the single biggest threat right now to the Champions in the OG-Joshi Tag Division."
[Mr. Figaro:] "As much as I hate to say it, I agree that the Dods are major trouble. MAJOR TROUBLE. And I think they are about to show Jenny, much as they showed Kaori, that they mean business."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Juli Tanaka has already felt the wrath of the Dods for a few straight shows now, so perhaps she is a bit more used to them and can use that experience."
[Mr. Figaro:] "On the flipside, she might be thoroughly intimidated and resigned that she can not stop them. But she's a tough wrestler, herself."
[Mr. Clyde:] "She was the main trainer of the McPro gym, I don't think she gets intimidated. I've heard horror stories of her whipping even the largest wrestler into shape."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm totally into that if she wants to give me a call."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm sure she's glad to hear that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But for now, let's see how she faces up against the Dods!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to this match. If the Dods win, they get a title shot at the PPV. If they don't..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Then WE do!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "No."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I want another tag championship!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You just want an excuse to be pinned by Kim Cross in a tag team contender match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Sometimes the truth hurts, other times it's firm and soft."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to the ring."
Match #2: J*NiGHT vs. The Dods
Jenny McLanahan/Juli Tanaka vs. Jane and Polly Dod
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And the Dods have just earned themselves a shot at the OG-Joshi Tag Championships."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, they did more then that. The Dods just sent a MESSAGE to J*NiGHT that their days as champions are numbered."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I don't agree. I think that Jenny, one half of the tag champions, hung in there for a very long time and was beginning to actually tire down Jane at the end. Jane was fresh going into that final encounter but Jenny actually had her in trouble a few times. Juli is a quality competitor but was clearly outmatched as this encounter went on. It was Jenny up against both Jane and Polly and eventually the fatigue and damage set in. When Jenny has Kaori backing her up, I think J*NiGHT have more then a fighting chance to defend their belts."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Clyde, I know you have a lot of admiration for the whole McLanahan Clan but the fact is, the Dods just steamrolled over Jenny and Juli here. And while Kaori is certainly going to help Jenny more then Juli did, I think what we saw tonight was that the Dods had energy to SPARE."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well I certainly think we are going to have an exciting match at the PPV for the OG-Joshi Tag Championships, a title becoming more coveted by the day thanks to the high quality competition we have and, from what I have heard, are obtaining."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's right, I did hear that more tag teams are on their way to OG-Joshi and the J*NIGHT and Dod rivalry will serve as a guide to everyone about what it takes to be the best here."
Juli Tanaka/Jenny McLanahan (X) [Reverse STF - 27:50] (X) Jane Dod/Polly Dod
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's time for our next match. At the previous Voltage, Alicia Gordon faced and utterly obliterated Lori Cuozzo in a hardcore match. Alicia hit her with a chair and kicked her in the face repeatedly until the referee actually had to end the match to save Lori's longterm health. However, Alicia kept the assault going until Crimson Mask came to Lori's aid."
[Mr. Figaro:] "We said it last show...something is SERIOUSLY rotten in OG-Joshi if Crimson Mask is the one making a save on someone's career."
[Mr. Clyde:] "However, lest we think Crimson Mask turned over a new leaf, she challenged Alicia to a match for tonight as revenge for what happened to Lori. We don't know what Crimson Mask has planned but we do know this is an exhibition match with regular, non-hardcore rules. To make sure these rules are enforced, Celes has assigned our top referee, Himura, to the ring during this match."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I honestly don't know who is going to try to break the rules faster, Clyde. Crimson Mask has been responsible for a record number of injuries in OG-Joshi but Alicia Gordon has just been insatiable in her lust for violence recently. And it pains me to mention "lust" in such a negative connotation too!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I see your mighty heart breaking."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Damn straight! I have wounded feelings here, Clyde! A torn-up soul!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We now have Alicia Gordon coming down to the ring. And she is NOT getting the ovation she usually gets. Many of the younger members of the audience who used to love her for her lighthearted LAWL work are noticeably silent and even disturbed at her stoic ring entrance. She's no longer coming out to "California Love" either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And that's just the final kick in the scrote! I love that song, Clyde!!
[Mr. Clyde:] "Did you just say the 'scrote?'"
[Mr. Figaro:] "California lovvvvvvveee! booooomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom, booooomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom. Mr. Figaro...knows how to party, Mr. Figaro...knows how to party! In the cityyyyyy...of Figaro's pants. In the cityyyyyyyy"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wow...I'm sick all over after hearing that."
[Mr. Figaro:] "In the cityyyyy-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now Alicia is coming out to a song called "Wanderer on the Offensive" which appears to sum up her recent mood change."
*Mr. Figaro is dancing*
[Mr. Figaro:] "We keeps it rockin..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok, well you can 'keeps it 'rockin' but we have a small problem here. It appears that Alicia's opponent has not showed up and is nowhere to be found backstage either."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Crowd, Clyde, she's in the crowd. She always goes for sneak attacks. Or maybe she's under the ring. Or maybe she's wearing your outfit and is right next to me!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Right...with my voice..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Or maybe she's wearing MY SKIN and is right next to you!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'd imagine she has better rhythm."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ouch. That really hurt. I was trying to be all 'California Love' and you just went all 'Compton mood-killah' on me."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, now I'm gonna go all 'Clyde commercial break' on all of us while we find out what's going on with Crimson Mask's tardyness."
*Commercials for the UBL November Open*
*We return from commercials and go backstage to Visper Karr's locker room where we see General Celes shaking her hand.*
[Celes:] "Miss Karr, I'd like to ask you a favor."
[Visper:] "What can I do for ya, boss lady?"
[Celes:] "As you may know, Alicia Gordon is scheduled to face Crimson Mask tonight. However, Crimson is either running late or simply can not be found as of this time. If you are ready for your match with Azumi Oonishi now, it would help me very much for you to go on next. Azumi has already consented."
[Visper:] "Well, if she's fine with it, I'm fine with it."
[Celes:] "Yes, I figured you would be. You are the #1 Contender to the World Title, after all. I again apologize for putting you on the spot though and taking you away from the main event as promised. I just very much would like tonight's match with Alicia and Crimson Mask to take place. There has been a lot of violence around here lately and I need to sort out -"
[Visper:] "You want to make sure that certain people get what's coming to them. That's fine, I get it. And you don't need to explain yourself to me; I'm just here to wrestle. Dark match, main event, pay-per-view - it doesn't matter all that much to me."
*A trace of a grin is seen on Celes' face as she nods, almost more to herself then Visper.*
[Celes:] "All right then. We'll see you out there in the ring soon. Good luck in your match."
*We go back to the ring where Figaro is suddenly wearing a shirt that says " Playa hata" with an arrow pointing...to the opposite direction of Clyde.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Your clever shirt has been foiled as you somehow forgot I always sit to the left of you."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But since we're on camera...it's really the opposite direction!"
*Mr. Clyde puts his head in his hands, clearly exasperated*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yep, I won THIS round!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well I sure as hell didn't, that's for sure."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ha!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "As Crimson Mask is still missing, Celes obtained the permission of both Visper and Azumi to have their match right now. While I'm not surprised they were ready to go and cooperative, it's still nice to see, especially with the belligerent attitudes of many on the roster."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well you may think Azumi is a thousand years old, but she's always very helpful! And Visper is a class act...and you can't spell class without ASS. And Visper's got one of the best."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you're making one of yourself."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Ouch, the hate burns, Clyde! It burns!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So do my ears."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's so hot I'm melting!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Luckily Visper and Azumi have made it to the ring quickly. For Visper, this may be her last match before getting to face Holly for the OG-Joshi World Title at the PPV. For Azumi, this is her chance to prove that she has improved sufficiently as a singles competitor to be considered a top contender for that title. Both woman are passionate but professional fighters and I am sure we are going to get a very fast-paced, technical match that you fans should enjoy."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'm MELTING IN BURNING HATE!"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Let's get to the match."
Match #3: Visper Karr vs. Azumi Oonishi
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And what a match we just had!'
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can't believe how hard Azumi just fought. She fell short but wow, she really showed us something tonight."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Visper Karr showed how dangerous she can be when you try to outwrestle her. She put that match away less then 10 seconds after it looked like Azumi had her where she wanted her. Just a quick leg trip took Azumi by surprise and that snap german suplex put the match away decisively."
Visper Karr (O) [Snap German Suplex - 20:20] (X) Azumi Oonishi
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Azumi certainly deserves credit for pushing the #1 contender like that. She had Visper in a few pinning positions that would have ended the encounter against lesser opponents."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Visper showed once again why she is the most deserving of that title shot. Holly better be aware of how quickly Visper can put away a match, a skill that Holly herself has shown in the past as well. But I think Azumi did what she set out to do and showed she is a threat as a singles wrestler."
*After both woman recover, they meet in the ring and shake hands. Azumi raises Visper's arm and makes a "belt motion" around Visper's waist.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It looks like Azumi is rooting for Visper to win Holly's belt. Not a surprise considering everything that happened with Holly and Dizzy, but a very pleasant showing nonetheless."
[Mr. Figaro:] "If they hug now, I'll be pleasant in my PANTS."
*Sure enough, they hug briefly and walk back from the ring together.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "My day is totally made. And if I retain my photographic memory, my night will be too."
[Mr. Clyde:] "My night will be made if I FORGET what you just said."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Don't worry, I'll call you later and remind you!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, folks, I think we're about ready for what should be the final match and main event. But there's no guarantee that we're even going to HAVE it, at this rate. Alicia isn't out yet, perhaps she's waiting for Crimson to get to the ring first. All I know is...wait, I'm getting word from the back that...hmm, wait, why is SHE coming out now?"
*There's a brief pause in the action, and the crowd quiets down, waiting for.... something. It doesn't take long for them to be appeased, because the PA system opens up with driving rock music - the fans are up on their feet, eager to see the woman who comes out to 'Stealing Society' - Lana. She steps through the curtain, pausing and giving the crowd a small bow on her way to the ring. Her expression, though not angry, is certainly not happy.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Folks, I don't know what exactly is about to happen here, but Lana has come to ringside."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's an odd time but it looks like Lana's got something to say tonight. Maybe she's mad at Haley Cannon for the loss she took last Voltage."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Somehow, I doubt it. Those two had a terrific match and I'd be damned if Lana seems the type to hold a grudge over someone who beat her legitimately."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I don't know, I think she still holds a grudge against me for that one time I saw her in her locker room, completely nak-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "-and somehow, that doesn't surprise me. Lana's in ring now, eying the fans with an ice cold stare, even while they cheer her on. She calls for a mic, and one of our dedicated lackeys hands one up into the ring."
*Lana has the mic in hand, but still hasn't spoken, simply watching the crowd cheer.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey! Isn't she wearing a different ring outfit?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, indeed she is... perhaps after her match with Haley Cannon, she felt it was time for a change?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "If Lana wants change, I'd be happy to show her a world of new experiences."
*Mr. Clyde simply sighs, and doesn't reply. Lana brings the mic up, and begins to finally speak.*
[Lana:] "Listen up, kiddies. Last Voltage, I had the pleasure of taking on Haley Cannon, our former Champion. It was back and forth, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the hell out of myself. Haley's one of the few wrestlers here that can wrestle a match and not screw someone over, or steal victories - she earns them."
[Mr. Clyde:] "True, Haley Cannon has a rep for being a straight shooter in the ring, which is why she made a great champion."
[Lana:] "However, our match stands in stark contrast to the match that followed it - Lori and Alicia had a match, and to be honest... it rather sickened me. Not that I don't enjoy a bit of the ultraviolence now and then, but come the hell on! It was a straight beatdown, and Alicia shouldn't even be allowed to fight people that aren't fighting back. Sure, she's mean and evil and she knocked Lori straight out, but that is no reason this shit should be booked. So, I have a little something to say to Alicia..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hey, Clyde, do you feel the love in this room? I do."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Most of the time that you talk... it hurts me. Right in the brain."
[Lana:] "Miz Gordon - let's be honest. I don't know you, you don't know me. What I do know about you is that you have a penchant for knocking out people who aren't fit to be in the ring with you. What I don't know... is how you'd fare against someone in your own league... namely... me. Because, let's be honest, you apparently like knocking people out. That's my bag too, hun. They don't call me the Queen of Knocked The Fuck Out for no reason, you know. So here's my suggestion, providing you and our bookers can dig it..."
*The crowd cheers Lana on, finally sensing where she's going with this."
[Lana:] "You, me, and no distractions. I wanna see where you're coming from, see if you're truly fit to act the phenom as you do. Whaddya say, 'Leesh'? You ready to throw down in some old fashion fisticuffs? Or do ya turn tail when someone brings the noise your way?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Wow, a direct challenge to Alicia."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And on a night where Alicia was ready for a fight...but her opponent didn't show up!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I've never seen Alicia back down from a fight and-
*"Wanderer on the Offensive" begins to play on the speakers.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Looks like this won't be an exception."
*Alicia Gordon comes down the ramp with a stoic expression yet again. She grabs a microphone and gets into the ring, face to face with Lana.*
[Alicia:] "I don't know why you need to stick your nose in my business but you picked the wrong night to do it. You fight me and I'll be seeing Crimson Mask the whole time. Unfortunately for you, that's what you'll see in the mirror when you get back to your locker room after the match."
*A nervous and uncomfortable rumbling is felt in the crowd.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow...that was..kinda uncalled for!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I have to agree there, I've never heard Alicia talk like that... or at least, not to someone who hasn't already wronged her physically. Lana called her out but I think Alicia is out of line here."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well one thing's for sure, Alicia's line about seeing Crimson Mask is about to come true!!"
*At that moment, Crimson Mask just began to emerge from under the ring with a chair. She rolls into the ring and goes to hit Alicia with it, but Lana pushes Alicia out of the way and knocks Crimson Mask to the mat with a hook to the chin. Alicia regains her bearings and realizes what happens. She immediately pounces onto Crimson Mask and begins drilling her with elbows from the top mount position."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Alicia is unleashing those elbows like missiles. Remember that Alicia has held the WCCF Championship and knows a thing or two about ground fighting. This really isn't Crimson's area of expertise."
*Lana finally grabs Alicia off of Lana, but Alicia holds on to the ropes long enough to deliver a few hard kicks to Crimson's ribs.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "This is a brutal assault and it's no longer self-defense either."
*Lana finally pulls Alicia off of Lana and the two begin shoving each other.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "You can't blame Lana here, she did the same thing for Crimson Mask as she did for Alicia: tried to save each from serious injury."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Alicia only cares about her own ass...a cute one at that, mind you...being saved from serious injury, not serious injury in general."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Which leads me to believe that Celes is right."
[Mr. Figaro:] "What's that?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Celes is now coming to ringside."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's not what you said before, but it IS true now!"
*Celes comes to ringside with a microphone.*
[Celes:] "Everyone here has some steam to blow off. I'll allow this in a 3 Way dance...but no hardcore rules. If this gets out of hand, I'm ordering the ref to stop the match."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And after it looking like we weren't gonna get a main event at all, we now have a 3 Way dance between these three very angry women. Although Crimson had initially taken a beating at the hands, well, elbows and feet of Alicia, she had time to recover a bit during the shoving match between Alicia and Lana. Crimson is up on her feet and immediately pounces on both Alicia and Lana! Folks, let's get to this match as Himura has run down to ringside to officiate."
Match #4: Lana vs. Alicia Gordon vs. Crimson Mask
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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[Mr. Clyde:] "I can't believe what we just saw."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Lori Cuozzo is back and has taken a large measure of revenge against Alicia Gordon. She wasn't too shy about attacking Lana either!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Lana was in the wrong place at the wrong time for Crimson and Lori, but no pardon was given. Alicia was directly targetted and received some brutal punishment before she was saved by Kat Black, Kim Cross, Haley Cannon and General Celes."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So what of the match itself?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Once Lori interfered, the match was correctly ruled a no contest by the referee."
Lana (-) Alicia (-) Crimson Mask (-) [No Contest]
*Celes grabs a microphone as Lori and Crimson make a hasty retreat.*
[Celes:] "Now now, you two may want to hear this as it concerns you as well."
*Kat begins helping Alicia up while Haley does the same for Lana.*
[Celes:] "There is certainly a lot of tension in the air but I think I can help alleviate it. Many of you want a match with each other and I am prepared to grant you that. However, seeing as how you are all top contenders to the OG-Joshi Title, I feel I must address a certain situation. Once Visper Karr defeats Holly for the Title, we will have no immediate #1 Contender. As you all know, once a contender or challenger loses their title in a decisive fashion, they go to the back of the line. Now some of you are uniquely worthy of such a title contender distinction but also want to spend your time fighting people like Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo, or... each other."
*Celes looks specifically at Alicia who has clawed her way to the corner using the ropes.*
[Celes:] "So what I want to do is propose this match. At the PPV, there will be a Battle Royale pitting all seven of you against each other, plus Azumi Oonishi who no doubt proved herself earlier as a top singles contender. Whoever wins the match will become the new #1 contender to the OG-Joshi World Title and will receive a guaranteed Title shot. For those that want that honor and achievement above all primitive feelings of anger and revenge, you know full well the correct means to try to get it."
*Celes looks at Haley, Lana, Kim, and Kat who nod back.*
[Celes:] "For those that simply want to fight it out with no regard to the values or true rewards of OG-Joshi, I'm hoping this title shot will persuade you to approach the match from the right perspective and beat your opponents legitimately. I remind you all that the quickest way to victory remains a 3 count or quick submission, not an extended vicious beating of an already hurt opponent. While a few of you may have the desire to attack a defenseless and destroyed opponent, perhaps being rewarded with a Title shot for a competitive-minded victory will get you on the right track."
*Celes looks at Lori and Crimson Mask, before looking again at Alicia*
[Celes:] "If it doesn't, then I look forward to you be soundly and quickly defeated in this match by those in it for the right reasons. In any case, I look forward to seeing the new #1 Contender rise to the occasion and earn their spot. And I am sure our next Champion, Visper Karr, will be eager to test your mettle when the time comes for you to get your Title shot."
*Celes leaves the ring and walks to the back as Lori and Crimson both laugh at their earlier handwork and the five in the ring stare uneasily at each other. Alicia and Lana both get up on their own power but have to balance against the turnbuckles as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the ring. Kat and Kim both nod to each other at the future task at hand.*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh no, Kat and Kim are gonna compete against each other!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You couldn't prevent it forever..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But if Kim wins the Battle Royale, she'll be one victory away from being the OG-Joshi World Champion."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And General Celes certainly made a huge match for the PPV. Eight women in a Battle Royale to earn the #1 Contendership. I'm sure we'll hear more about this in the coming weeks leading to the PPV. But for now, on behalf of Mr. Figaro and OG-Joshi, thanks for tuning into Voltage. We'll see you again next month for the final Voltage before the long awaited PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
*Fin*