Amplitude - August, 2008
Aug 26, 2008 18:03:39 GMT -5
Post by Joe Snack Road on Aug 26, 2008 18:03:39 GMT -5
OG-Joshi Amplitude: August 26th, 2008 “It Just Got Real”
…Seriously.
Location: Peter Venkman Memorial Arena, New York, New York
Attendance: PACKED HOUSE! MAYBE!
Kristin Blade def. “All Beef” Patty Sirloin in 17:22 via Superkick -> Pinfall
- The first match of Amplitude immediately went from Zero to ZOMG within seconds, thanks to the rough house offense from Patty Sirloin – with every girl looking to make an impression, “Break the Cutie” was sure to be on someone’s agenda, and Kristin Blade wound up on the receiving end of that game.
But, rather than allow Patty Sirloin to dominate the match, she used her speed to duck around and pick her spots, quick kicks to the legs and ribs pushing Patty on the defensive… even a few quick roll ups for good measure, but, it wasn’t going to be enough to keep Patty down – it seemed as if Kristin just wanted to tire out Patty, who forcefully kicked out of EVERY pinfall attempt.
The match ended when Kristin goaded Patty to charge at her… when Kristin ducked away, Patty hit the corner, and staggered out to meet a faceload of Superkick for the academic three count!
Gutter and Hiromi went to No Contest (6:12)
- Gutter’s in-ring debut wasn’t going to be a technically precise bit of artistry – unless your vision of art includes hitting people with blunt objects.
The violent Gutter proved that not only do censors beware when she has a microphone, but when she’s in ring, even as the camera went often to “REACTION SHOTS” showing audience members gasping in shock and awe of the violence in the ring, before we saw Gutter grab a staple gun from a toolbox underneath the ring…
The audience began shrieking as we abruptly cut to commercial!
Backstage!
- The KENTA Army is sobbing loudly, crying, as Shino prepares for her match… “I WILL AVENGE YOU, HIROMI! KENTA KNOWS TRUE STRENGTH IN FACE OF SADNESS!”
Shino def. Linda Parker in 1:09 via Rear Naked Choke
- Despite the insistence of OG-Joshi Champion Holly, Linda Parker’s wrestling credentials are… sketchy at best. Shino played around a bit before choking the life out of the blonde bombshell, the ref having to forcefully pry the KENTA Army starlet from Linda Parker’s neck.
10 WE WANT (name of wrestler) 20 GO TO 10
- Lina Malloy’s “L Section” seems to grow by the show – from a small band of roving internet nerds, they’ve grown to actually FILL a seating section, waving handmade “ROCK US LINA” signs and constantly cheering “WE WANT LINA! WE WANT LINA!”
While Lina wasn’t actually BOOKED to wrestle, when she appeared in the L Section the section exploded with joy and cheering as Lina handpicked one fan’s sign to hold high for the cameras: “LINA FOR CHAMPION!”
Jenna Stone def. Jill Chambers (LAWL) in 14:22 via POWERSLAM
- SHE WAS PRIMED AMPED AND CHARGED BECAUSE SHE WAS CHUGGING OR SOMETHING WHO KNOWS, BUT SHE CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! Jenna Stone was PUMPED AND PRIMED for the AWESOME, and the crowd wasn’t afraid to cheer and chant with her, as she rolled LAWL’s drunken wonder like a bowling ball… obviously, Jill Chambers was in no shape to compete, but there was more than a moment or two where it seemed like the girl had some wherewithal to compete – tripping up Jenna with a drop toe hold once, as well as a short sequence of counters and reversals that ended with her vomiting on the mat – Jenna Stone is one for CLEANLINESS as well as being TOTALLY AMPED GUYS, and a POWERSLAM later, Jill Chamber’s was soaking up the vomit with her back. Eww.
The referee was disgusted to count the three on this point, but, at least the match was over.
POST MATCH!
- Jenna Stone climbed the turnbuckles, and screamed for the crowd, before grabbing a microphone and PROMISING that OG-Joshi Amplitude was going to be MORE CHARGED, MORE PUMPED and EVEN MORE AMPED with Jenna Stone on it – and demanding that she be able to PUMP AND AMP AND CHARGE AMPLITUDE – “LOOK AT THAT TITLE, IT EVEN SAYS “AMP” RIGHT IN IT!” she flawlessly argued.
The crowd and Jenna were equally pumped and amped as the show faded. DRAMATICALLY!
…Seriously.
Location: Peter Venkman Memorial Arena, New York, New York
Attendance: PACKED HOUSE! MAYBE!
Kristin Blade def. “All Beef” Patty Sirloin in 17:22 via Superkick -> Pinfall
- The first match of Amplitude immediately went from Zero to ZOMG within seconds, thanks to the rough house offense from Patty Sirloin – with every girl looking to make an impression, “Break the Cutie” was sure to be on someone’s agenda, and Kristin Blade wound up on the receiving end of that game.
But, rather than allow Patty Sirloin to dominate the match, she used her speed to duck around and pick her spots, quick kicks to the legs and ribs pushing Patty on the defensive… even a few quick roll ups for good measure, but, it wasn’t going to be enough to keep Patty down – it seemed as if Kristin just wanted to tire out Patty, who forcefully kicked out of EVERY pinfall attempt.
The match ended when Kristin goaded Patty to charge at her… when Kristin ducked away, Patty hit the corner, and staggered out to meet a faceload of Superkick for the academic three count!
Gutter and Hiromi went to No Contest (6:12)
- Gutter’s in-ring debut wasn’t going to be a technically precise bit of artistry – unless your vision of art includes hitting people with blunt objects.
The violent Gutter proved that not only do censors beware when she has a microphone, but when she’s in ring, even as the camera went often to “REACTION SHOTS” showing audience members gasping in shock and awe of the violence in the ring, before we saw Gutter grab a staple gun from a toolbox underneath the ring…
The audience began shrieking as we abruptly cut to commercial!
Backstage!
- The KENTA Army is sobbing loudly, crying, as Shino prepares for her match… “I WILL AVENGE YOU, HIROMI! KENTA KNOWS TRUE STRENGTH IN FACE OF SADNESS!”
Shino def. Linda Parker in 1:09 via Rear Naked Choke
- Despite the insistence of OG-Joshi Champion Holly, Linda Parker’s wrestling credentials are… sketchy at best. Shino played around a bit before choking the life out of the blonde bombshell, the ref having to forcefully pry the KENTA Army starlet from Linda Parker’s neck.
10 WE WANT (name of wrestler) 20 GO TO 10
- Lina Malloy’s “L Section” seems to grow by the show – from a small band of roving internet nerds, they’ve grown to actually FILL a seating section, waving handmade “ROCK US LINA” signs and constantly cheering “WE WANT LINA! WE WANT LINA!”
While Lina wasn’t actually BOOKED to wrestle, when she appeared in the L Section the section exploded with joy and cheering as Lina handpicked one fan’s sign to hold high for the cameras: “LINA FOR CHAMPION!”
Jenna Stone def. Jill Chambers (LAWL) in 14:22 via POWERSLAM
- SHE WAS PRIMED AMPED AND CHARGED BECAUSE SHE WAS CHUGGING OR SOMETHING WHO KNOWS, BUT SHE CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! Jenna Stone was PUMPED AND PRIMED for the AWESOME, and the crowd wasn’t afraid to cheer and chant with her, as she rolled LAWL’s drunken wonder like a bowling ball… obviously, Jill Chambers was in no shape to compete, but there was more than a moment or two where it seemed like the girl had some wherewithal to compete – tripping up Jenna with a drop toe hold once, as well as a short sequence of counters and reversals that ended with her vomiting on the mat – Jenna Stone is one for CLEANLINESS as well as being TOTALLY AMPED GUYS, and a POWERSLAM later, Jill Chamber’s was soaking up the vomit with her back. Eww.
The referee was disgusted to count the three on this point, but, at least the match was over.
POST MATCH!
- Jenna Stone climbed the turnbuckles, and screamed for the crowd, before grabbing a microphone and PROMISING that OG-Joshi Amplitude was going to be MORE CHARGED, MORE PUMPED and EVEN MORE AMPED with Jenna Stone on it – and demanding that she be able to PUMP AND AMP AND CHARGE AMPLITUDE – “LOOK AT THAT TITLE, IT EVEN SAYS “AMP” RIGHT IN IT!” she flawlessly argued.
The crowd and Jenna were equally pumped and amped as the show faded. DRAMATICALLY!