Honking of the Goocifer
Jul 11, 2008 16:14:55 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jul 11, 2008 16:14:55 GMT -5
(Final RP for the LAWL/LLAMMA Pro show) *During a commercial break in your regularly scheduled programming, we see Goocifer standing in front of an Orochi-O's Banner. He is frothing at the mouth (just one of his many simultaneous bodily excretions) and just generally making some horrific noises (again, the ones from his mouth being just part of a cacophony). After a few seconds of this...a young woman with blonde hair walks into the shot smiling. She is wearing a gold belt and has a microphone.*
[Woman:] "Allow me to introduce myself to the uneducated, unwashed masses. My name is Holly Robin Walker and I am the OG-Joshi World Champion in addition to the Director of Marketing for Orochi-O's. Now, as fun as it is for me to brag about all my career accomplishments, the fact is that I'm not here in those official capacities. But rather, I also serve a somewhat misunderstood role: as the "organizer" for the Gooses."
*Goocifer makes some more raucous noises but Holly quiets him down by handing him a live sheep which he devours slowly*
[Holly:] "For those of you fortunate enough to remember anything before the commercial break, you may recall that it was I who brought the original OrochiGoose into your lives. Yes, back when I was just a marketing adviser, I had floated the idea to OrochiGeese that Orochi-O's needed a mascot and the OrochiGoose was the perfect candidate. Years passed and we added to our gaggle of Gooses to take part in both business functions AND pro wrestling matches. And it was truly fate when we found the jewel in the crown of our Goose portfolio - the Devil Goose, Goocifer."
*Upon hearing his name, Goocifer smears the blood from the sheep on his chest*
[Holly:] "Yes, very good. Now, you may wonder why any of this isn't self-explanatory? Why am I wasting your time? I'm not wasting YOUR time cause then I'd be wasting MY time. I could care less what the "fans" think. My message today is simply reserved for the other wrestlers in the main event of the "LAWL and LLAMA pony show." *Holly rolls her eyes*
[Holly:] "Look, LAWL absolutely SICKENS me. I've been trying to kill it for some time now and actually made ample headway during LAWLiday when I led our Goose and German team, I called it "Goosewurst", to beat the HomeLAWL Security team. But now I hear there's some kind of LLAMA promotion? Well, just to be on the safe side, Orochi-O's decided to have Goocifer handy to take care of business. So lets hear his thoughts on the matter."
*Holly holds up her microphone to Goocifer's face...careful to avoid the dripping sheep blood*
[Holly:] "What do you think of LLAMA Mask?"
*Goocifer goes off on a tirade of flailing limbs and shouts. He swings around the bloody sheep corpse to accentuate his anger*
[Holly:] "Not a surprise, there. Goocifer and LLAMA Mask have a bit of a history. Unfortunately for LLAMA Mask, after the tag match, HE has no future. Next...Llanny Llamma Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt."
*Goocifer begins HONKING very loudly, to an extent that makes even Holly uncomfortable. He then lies on the ground and begins clutching himself*
[Holly:] "Um allright...Llanny boy? Wow, you..you got some REAL problems ahead! I hear you used to be a human and now you're in the body of a llama or something? So you got a little llama and a little human in you? *Holly cackles* Get ready for a LOT of Goose inside ya at the tag match!"
[Holly:] "And finally...Goocifer's "teammate" Bill Z. Bubb. Listen bub, I love the way you dress and all, its clear you have FASHION sense...but if you are gonna be Goocifer's teammate, you better have more powers then just color coordination, you better have-"
*Goocifer grabs the mic from Holly, leaving her startled, and yells "EVIL!" in an odd "honking" type dialect. He continues yelling "EVIL" while howling and honking until Holly quickly gets the technicians to cut the mic. She gets her own and takes a few deep breaths*
[Holly:] "Fact is, Billy Bubba, you are teaming with THE most evil force in this entire world, no, universe! So you follow his lead and listen to his directions, and everything will go fine. But if you get out of line, thing are gonna get REAL bad for you. Respect the supreme evil of Goocifer, Billy. And maybe if you're lucky after the show, Gooci will buy you dinner and a new pastel dinner jacket before he "celebrates" with you."
[Holly:] "It's gonna be a HOT summer for Goocifer to spread his evil around the world. And he'll start at "LAWL + LLAMAS = LOSERS."
*Holly laughs and walks off the set as Goocifer continues muttering "evil" to himself*
[Woman:] "Allow me to introduce myself to the uneducated, unwashed masses. My name is Holly Robin Walker and I am the OG-Joshi World Champion in addition to the Director of Marketing for Orochi-O's. Now, as fun as it is for me to brag about all my career accomplishments, the fact is that I'm not here in those official capacities. But rather, I also serve a somewhat misunderstood role: as the "organizer" for the Gooses."
*Goocifer makes some more raucous noises but Holly quiets him down by handing him a live sheep which he devours slowly*
[Holly:] "For those of you fortunate enough to remember anything before the commercial break, you may recall that it was I who brought the original OrochiGoose into your lives. Yes, back when I was just a marketing adviser, I had floated the idea to OrochiGeese that Orochi-O's needed a mascot and the OrochiGoose was the perfect candidate. Years passed and we added to our gaggle of Gooses to take part in both business functions AND pro wrestling matches. And it was truly fate when we found the jewel in the crown of our Goose portfolio - the Devil Goose, Goocifer."
*Upon hearing his name, Goocifer smears the blood from the sheep on his chest*
[Holly:] "Yes, very good. Now, you may wonder why any of this isn't self-explanatory? Why am I wasting your time? I'm not wasting YOUR time cause then I'd be wasting MY time. I could care less what the "fans" think. My message today is simply reserved for the other wrestlers in the main event of the "LAWL and LLAMA pony show." *Holly rolls her eyes*
[Holly:] "Look, LAWL absolutely SICKENS me. I've been trying to kill it for some time now and actually made ample headway during LAWLiday when I led our Goose and German team, I called it "Goosewurst", to beat the HomeLAWL Security team. But now I hear there's some kind of LLAMA promotion? Well, just to be on the safe side, Orochi-O's decided to have Goocifer handy to take care of business. So lets hear his thoughts on the matter."
*Holly holds up her microphone to Goocifer's face...careful to avoid the dripping sheep blood*
[Holly:] "What do you think of LLAMA Mask?"
*Goocifer goes off on a tirade of flailing limbs and shouts. He swings around the bloody sheep corpse to accentuate his anger*
[Holly:] "Not a surprise, there. Goocifer and LLAMA Mask have a bit of a history. Unfortunately for LLAMA Mask, after the tag match, HE has no future. Next...Llanny Llamma Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt."
*Goocifer begins HONKING very loudly, to an extent that makes even Holly uncomfortable. He then lies on the ground and begins clutching himself*
[Holly:] "Um allright...Llanny boy? Wow, you..you got some REAL problems ahead! I hear you used to be a human and now you're in the body of a llama or something? So you got a little llama and a little human in you? *Holly cackles* Get ready for a LOT of Goose inside ya at the tag match!"
[Holly:] "And finally...Goocifer's "teammate" Bill Z. Bubb. Listen bub, I love the way you dress and all, its clear you have FASHION sense...but if you are gonna be Goocifer's teammate, you better have more powers then just color coordination, you better have-"
*Goocifer grabs the mic from Holly, leaving her startled, and yells "EVIL!" in an odd "honking" type dialect. He continues yelling "EVIL" while howling and honking until Holly quickly gets the technicians to cut the mic. She gets her own and takes a few deep breaths*
[Holly:] "Fact is, Billy Bubba, you are teaming with THE most evil force in this entire world, no, universe! So you follow his lead and listen to his directions, and everything will go fine. But if you get out of line, thing are gonna get REAL bad for you. Respect the supreme evil of Goocifer, Billy. And maybe if you're lucky after the show, Gooci will buy you dinner and a new pastel dinner jacket before he "celebrates" with you."
[Holly:] "It's gonna be a HOT summer for Goocifer to spread his evil around the world. And he'll start at "LAWL + LLAMAS = LOSERS."
*Holly laughs and walks off the set as Goocifer continues muttering "evil" to himself*