"LAWL + LLAMA = LIFE" Supershow
Jun 13, 2008 21:41:29 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jun 13, 2008 21:41:29 GMT -5
*We're in a small press room in Los Angeles, California with a LAWL banner hanging in back of the podium. There is a mild buzz around the room as its not very common to have a LAWL press conference. SO uncommon that this happens to be the first one! None other then pro wrestling journeywoman announcer "Mean" Jean Carter comes out to the podium.*
[MJC:] "Hi everyone!! I was chosen to be the official...or is that officiaLAWL, spokeswoman for tonight's big announcement about the next LAWL show. Why ME? I don't work for LAWL, right? Well, Orochi-O's sensed the magnitude of this news and thought that I should be the one to give it rather then a squash or mango. Surely I have better public speaking skills then one of those right? RIGHT?"
*The crowd doesn't indulge her ego-fishing*
[MJC:] "Hrmph! Well, I'll just have to prove you all wrong!! Well tonight I'm here to announce the next show-
[Press member #1:] "Summer SpectacuLAWLer?"
[MJC:] "It's rude to interrupt, yanno! Please hold all questions until the end, please!! PLEASE!! . And no, it is not that show. Ordinarily...if i can use that word for LAWL...that would be the next show but I am here today to proudly tell you that LAWL will be holding its first ever combined show, co-sponsored by another promotion. Miss Reyes, if you would please."
*Gloria Reyes, the head of LAWL comes out while holding a furled parchment. Numerous "OG-Joshi" and "McPro" murmurings are heard throughout the crowd which Gloria ignores. She then begins unfurling the parchment in her hand and places it a few feet to the left of the LAWL banner. This yields a huge reaction and a number of camera flashbulbs as the parchment happens to be a banner displaying the logo of.....LLAMMA Pro..*[/b][/size]
[MJC:] "YES! LLAMMA PRO and LAWL will be putting on a combined show for you all in July!! And with that, let me turn to LAWL Head Gloria Reyes."
*MJC steps down and shakes Gloria's hand...posing for a photo op on her way. Gloria then walks up to the podium and smiles*
[Gloria:] "Thank you everyone for joining us and thank you to Miss Carter for that nice introduction. I must say I was a bit concerned when Orochi-O's offered to send someone over but she played her part quite well.
[MJC:] "What a scoop!" *MJC scribbles something into her notebook*
[Gloria:] "Now, you are probably all wondering how this show has come to be. Orochi-O's has talent scouts all over the country and gets tapes in from every wrestling promotion. When they found out about LLAMMA Pro, they immediately phoned LAWL to tell us that they found a promotion that might prove "we weren't the only weirdos". I thanked Mr. Geese for that characterization and asked what it was that he felt made LLAMMA Pro such a good fit to put on a show with LAWL. He sent me the tape and it spoke for itself to me. They have wrestlers with very strong lucha roots, mixed martial arts acumen, and finally the most important ingredient - a LLAMMA in charge."
*The media members shake their head in agreement*
[Gloria:] "After meeting with their esteemed leader, one Llanny Llama, we found that we had an instant repoire. And it became a question of "when" and not "if" our two promotions could work together and entertain our combined audiences of fans...two audiences that really are not all that different...from each other that is. So it gives me great pleasure to announce the first three matches of our show scheduled for Sunday, July 13th."
[Gloria:] "The first match of the night will be an interpromotional one. LLAMMA Pro's Cutie Booties will be facing my younger sister, Grace Reyes. Grace was anxious to "defend" LAWL from LLAMMA Pro's influence but I assured her that she should be more concerned with wrestling her best match then fending off an imaginary invasion. Naturally she did not listen, but I expect her to put on a competitive match and honor LAWL...even if she does it incidental to her mission."
[Gloria:] "The next match I am very excited to announce as it is called the "Madness Battle Royale". It will feature four wrestlers from LLAMMA Pro and four wrestlers from LAWL in a match where there can only be one winner. The participants are Bobo the Monkeyboy, Squinky the Alien, Jesus "el Savior" Christ, Crackhead Dave, Patata Dulce, Platano Cascara, Kata Mary, and Pinata Mask. And just to ensure that each wrestler is more concerned with their individual success then loyalty to their fed, the winner will receive a special prize that will be determined by their promotion."
[Gloria:] "The next match will be for the esteemed LAWL 1337 Championship. Lucy Cutlass became the new champion after dubious means at LAWLiday. However, she has been informed that if her pirate crew ever acts in that fashion again, they will all be sent to the high seas. Her opponent at this show is someone who has been undefeated since joining LAWL, Pea Shooter. "Dangerous P", as she is also sometimes called, is not one to put up with any deceit or trickery and should also prove popular among the mixed martial arts fans of both promotions. And yes, we believe that a Pirate vs. a Pea will be of appropriate entertainment on this historic show. With all that said, I now turn the podium over to Llanny Llama to run down the rest of the card and give his thoughts."
*Llanny Llama steps up to the podium, his thick beige coat brushed to fluffiness and a clip-on bow tie seemingly stapled to his fur*
[LLanny:] "Thank you, Miss Reyes, for that llovely introduction. For those of you who don't know of us, LLAMMA Pro is a llucha llibre/mixed martial arts promotion out of Mexico. We are very pleased that LAWL has extended this invitation to our llittle group and are very excited to be taking part in the upcoming show. Llet me reveal the llast two matches on this supercard:"
[LLanny:] "The LLAMMA Pro Champion, Thunder Fist, will be on hand to defend his title against the number one contender, Ed The Luchador. Thunder Fist defeated my good pal Igor Von Ugly to capture the title at our llatest event, and the big man from Botswana is keen to get his first title defense under his belt. This will also mark the first time that Ed the Luchador has been able to challenge for the top prize in LLAMMA Pro. Ed earned his shot by winning a Triple threat match when the other two competitors, Crackhead Dave and The Mad Doctor, double KO'ed each other, lleaving Ed both victorious and slightly confused. Will Ed's highflying and lethal arm holds be enough to counter the pummeling power of the Thunder Fist? Or will Ed forget what he's doing and just get killed? We'll find out on July 13. And now for our main event:"
*Llanny cannot contain a broad smile as his disturbingly long tongue snakes out to lick his lips*
[LLanny:] "This is going to be an interpromotional war the likes of which most of you have never witnessed. Instead of using the tired old format of promotion vs promotion, the main event tag match will feature wrestlers from both promotions on each team. You llucky fans will witness two never before seen tag teams go to war in an epic battle for the souls of all those in attendance. Team LLAMMA will consist of LAWL's LLAMA Mask and myself, Lleaping Llanny Llama. That's right folks, Llama squared. This stunning concentration of llama power will be facing an unholy test in the guise of Team Evil. Team Evil will consist of LLAMMA Pro's resident demon and llover of frilly ruffles, Bill Z Bubb! And Pretty Bill's partner will be the one, the only, the filial fowl of Satan himself, GOOCIFUR!"
*Llanny steps back from the podium, breathing heavily in his excitement and raising his arms in an expectation of a wave of applause that isn't immediately forthcoming. After a few uncomfortable moments and a smattering of golf claps, Llanny takes his seat*
[MJC:] "And now we are going to hear from LAWL's 1337 Champion, "Captain" Lucy Cutlass."
*A woman cursing under her breath comes up to the podium and shoves MJC away from it. MJC mutters "how rude" and turns her nose up, eliciting further scornful words from Miss Cutlass.*
[Lucy:] "Aye, ye get in me way again wench and I tear ye throat! Wont be much of an announcer then, will ye? Now, Im here to say one thing to "Pea Shooter". At ye next show, I be proving to my crew why I the best captain around. Cause Im a PROVIDER! And nothing makes a ship respect ye captain more then bringing some food for the next journey. "Dangerous P", when Im done with ye, our ship cook Henry "the Barge" Bailey is gonna throw ye in a pot and boil ye! And since he gonna cut you into small bite-like pieces, ye wont be dangerous ANYMORE!!"
*Lucy leans back and gives out a mighty belly laugh, pats her 1337 belt, and leaves*
[MJC:] "Wow, a lesson in proper consumption of food from a pirate!! Don't forget to chew each bite 10-20 times too!! We don't want any choking hazards on sea or on land-"
*Gloria clears her throat*
[MJC:] "OHMIGAWSH, are YOU choking!?"
[Gloria:] "No...just having some issues swallowing your digressions."
[MJC:] "Sorry, I'll get on with it. And Lucy's challenger is um...actually gone. She was staring at Lucy throughout her words but just shook her head and left, obviously not too impressed with the Captain of "H.M.S. Safe Digestion." Well, I guess its time for the LLAMMA Pro Champion Thunder Fist!"
*Thunder Fist steps from behind a curtain at stands at the podium. His face is covered by a black tribal mask, which is decorated with fangs, horns, and a depcition of a demon's face in gold relief. He has massive forearms and hands, and plants one fist on either side of the podium, glaring out into the throng of reporters. A moment passes*
[LLanny:] "Ooops"
*Llanny jumps up and gently eases Thunder Fist aside and takes the microphone*
[LLanny:] "Sorry folks, and sorry Miss Reyes, I guess I should've mentioned that Thunder Fist here doesn't speak English. Let's just bring out his challenger, and see if he has anything, um, interesting to say. Ed the Luchador, folks!"
*A skinny kid in a garish purple and yellow luchador outfit stumbles from behind the curtain and climbs up to the podium. His mask makes him look like a bug*
[Ed:]"Um...hi. Uh, yeah I want to fight him. And win...you know, his um....belt. That guy." *points at Thunder Fist, who is studiously ignoring Ed*
[LLanny:]"Wow. OK, thanks Ed. Mrs Carter?"
*Llanny pushes Ed off the stage in a bit of a huff. Thunder Fist looks around for a second and lumbers offstage also*
[MJC:] "Wow, what a night full of intrigue and twists and turns!! LAWL and LLAMMA Pro, pirates vs. peas, fists vs. guys named ed! Its almost enough to make you wonder if you're dreaming and went to cat heaven to visit and apologize to your ole kitten Clarabelle. *MJC looks down for a second and a tear goes down her eye* I'm sorry Clara, I thought you becoming "Super cat" and saving the world meant learning to fly. I was wrong."
*Gloria clears her throat and MJC refocuses*
[MJC:] "Now then! Thank you to everyone for joining us and we'll...well, THEY will, as I doubt I'll be invited back, see you for their upcoming show!! Thanks fans and have a fantabulous summer!!"
*MJC hands out some flyers to the press and the conference ends. The flyers are as follows*
"LAWL + LLAMMA Pro = LIFE" card - Sunday, July 13th, 2008 - 9pm- Venue: Live Chat
Main event: "Lleaping" Llanny Llama/LLAMA Mask vs Bill Z Bubb/Goocifur
Match 4: LLAMMA Pro Title: Thunder Fist (c) vs Ed the Luchador
Match 3: LAWL 1337 Title: Lucy Cutlass (c) vs. Pea Shooter - "Dangerous P"
Match 2: Madness Battle Royale - Bobo the Monkeyboy vs Squinky the Alien vs Jesus "el Savior" Christ vs Crackhead Dave vs Patata Dulce vs. Platano Cascara vs. Kata Mary vs. Pinata Mask
Match 1: Cutie Booties vs. Grace Reyes
See ya then!!
[MJC:] "Hi everyone!! I was chosen to be the official...or is that officiaLAWL, spokeswoman for tonight's big announcement about the next LAWL show. Why ME? I don't work for LAWL, right? Well, Orochi-O's sensed the magnitude of this news and thought that I should be the one to give it rather then a squash or mango. Surely I have better public speaking skills then one of those right? RIGHT?"
*The crowd doesn't indulge her ego-fishing*
[MJC:] "Hrmph! Well, I'll just have to prove you all wrong!! Well tonight I'm here to announce the next show-
[Press member #1:] "Summer SpectacuLAWLer?"
[MJC:] "It's rude to interrupt, yanno! Please hold all questions until the end, please!! PLEASE!! . And no, it is not that show. Ordinarily...if i can use that word for LAWL...that would be the next show but I am here today to proudly tell you that LAWL will be holding its first ever combined show, co-sponsored by another promotion. Miss Reyes, if you would please."
*Gloria Reyes, the head of LAWL comes out while holding a furled parchment. Numerous "OG-Joshi" and "McPro" murmurings are heard throughout the crowd which Gloria ignores. She then begins unfurling the parchment in her hand and places it a few feet to the left of the LAWL banner. This yields a huge reaction and a number of camera flashbulbs as the parchment happens to be a banner displaying the logo of.....LLAMMA Pro..*[/b][/size]
[MJC:] "YES! LLAMMA PRO and LAWL will be putting on a combined show for you all in July!! And with that, let me turn to LAWL Head Gloria Reyes."
*MJC steps down and shakes Gloria's hand...posing for a photo op on her way. Gloria then walks up to the podium and smiles*
[Gloria:] "Thank you everyone for joining us and thank you to Miss Carter for that nice introduction. I must say I was a bit concerned when Orochi-O's offered to send someone over but she played her part quite well.
[MJC:] "What a scoop!" *MJC scribbles something into her notebook*
[Gloria:] "Now, you are probably all wondering how this show has come to be. Orochi-O's has talent scouts all over the country and gets tapes in from every wrestling promotion. When they found out about LLAMMA Pro, they immediately phoned LAWL to tell us that they found a promotion that might prove "we weren't the only weirdos". I thanked Mr. Geese for that characterization and asked what it was that he felt made LLAMMA Pro such a good fit to put on a show with LAWL. He sent me the tape and it spoke for itself to me. They have wrestlers with very strong lucha roots, mixed martial arts acumen, and finally the most important ingredient - a LLAMMA in charge."
*The media members shake their head in agreement*
[Gloria:] "After meeting with their esteemed leader, one Llanny Llama, we found that we had an instant repoire. And it became a question of "when" and not "if" our two promotions could work together and entertain our combined audiences of fans...two audiences that really are not all that different...from each other that is. So it gives me great pleasure to announce the first three matches of our show scheduled for Sunday, July 13th."
[Gloria:] "The first match of the night will be an interpromotional one. LLAMMA Pro's Cutie Booties will be facing my younger sister, Grace Reyes. Grace was anxious to "defend" LAWL from LLAMMA Pro's influence but I assured her that she should be more concerned with wrestling her best match then fending off an imaginary invasion. Naturally she did not listen, but I expect her to put on a competitive match and honor LAWL...even if she does it incidental to her mission."
[Gloria:] "The next match I am very excited to announce as it is called the "Madness Battle Royale". It will feature four wrestlers from LLAMMA Pro and four wrestlers from LAWL in a match where there can only be one winner. The participants are Bobo the Monkeyboy, Squinky the Alien, Jesus "el Savior" Christ, Crackhead Dave, Patata Dulce, Platano Cascara, Kata Mary, and Pinata Mask. And just to ensure that each wrestler is more concerned with their individual success then loyalty to their fed, the winner will receive a special prize that will be determined by their promotion."
[Gloria:] "The next match will be for the esteemed LAWL 1337 Championship. Lucy Cutlass became the new champion after dubious means at LAWLiday. However, she has been informed that if her pirate crew ever acts in that fashion again, they will all be sent to the high seas. Her opponent at this show is someone who has been undefeated since joining LAWL, Pea Shooter. "Dangerous P", as she is also sometimes called, is not one to put up with any deceit or trickery and should also prove popular among the mixed martial arts fans of both promotions. And yes, we believe that a Pirate vs. a Pea will be of appropriate entertainment on this historic show. With all that said, I now turn the podium over to Llanny Llama to run down the rest of the card and give his thoughts."
*Llanny Llama steps up to the podium, his thick beige coat brushed to fluffiness and a clip-on bow tie seemingly stapled to his fur*
[LLanny:] "Thank you, Miss Reyes, for that llovely introduction. For those of you who don't know of us, LLAMMA Pro is a llucha llibre/mixed martial arts promotion out of Mexico. We are very pleased that LAWL has extended this invitation to our llittle group and are very excited to be taking part in the upcoming show. Llet me reveal the llast two matches on this supercard:"
[LLanny:] "The LLAMMA Pro Champion, Thunder Fist, will be on hand to defend his title against the number one contender, Ed The Luchador. Thunder Fist defeated my good pal Igor Von Ugly to capture the title at our llatest event, and the big man from Botswana is keen to get his first title defense under his belt. This will also mark the first time that Ed the Luchador has been able to challenge for the top prize in LLAMMA Pro. Ed earned his shot by winning a Triple threat match when the other two competitors, Crackhead Dave and The Mad Doctor, double KO'ed each other, lleaving Ed both victorious and slightly confused. Will Ed's highflying and lethal arm holds be enough to counter the pummeling power of the Thunder Fist? Or will Ed forget what he's doing and just get killed? We'll find out on July 13. And now for our main event:"
*Llanny cannot contain a broad smile as his disturbingly long tongue snakes out to lick his lips*
[LLanny:] "This is going to be an interpromotional war the likes of which most of you have never witnessed. Instead of using the tired old format of promotion vs promotion, the main event tag match will feature wrestlers from both promotions on each team. You llucky fans will witness two never before seen tag teams go to war in an epic battle for the souls of all those in attendance. Team LLAMMA will consist of LAWL's LLAMA Mask and myself, Lleaping Llanny Llama. That's right folks, Llama squared. This stunning concentration of llama power will be facing an unholy test in the guise of Team Evil. Team Evil will consist of LLAMMA Pro's resident demon and llover of frilly ruffles, Bill Z Bubb! And Pretty Bill's partner will be the one, the only, the filial fowl of Satan himself, GOOCIFUR!"
*Llanny steps back from the podium, breathing heavily in his excitement and raising his arms in an expectation of a wave of applause that isn't immediately forthcoming. After a few uncomfortable moments and a smattering of golf claps, Llanny takes his seat*
[MJC:] "And now we are going to hear from LAWL's 1337 Champion, "Captain" Lucy Cutlass."
*A woman cursing under her breath comes up to the podium and shoves MJC away from it. MJC mutters "how rude" and turns her nose up, eliciting further scornful words from Miss Cutlass.*
[Lucy:] "Aye, ye get in me way again wench and I tear ye throat! Wont be much of an announcer then, will ye? Now, Im here to say one thing to "Pea Shooter". At ye next show, I be proving to my crew why I the best captain around. Cause Im a PROVIDER! And nothing makes a ship respect ye captain more then bringing some food for the next journey. "Dangerous P", when Im done with ye, our ship cook Henry "the Barge" Bailey is gonna throw ye in a pot and boil ye! And since he gonna cut you into small bite-like pieces, ye wont be dangerous ANYMORE!!"
*Lucy leans back and gives out a mighty belly laugh, pats her 1337 belt, and leaves*
[MJC:] "Wow, a lesson in proper consumption of food from a pirate!! Don't forget to chew each bite 10-20 times too!! We don't want any choking hazards on sea or on land-"
*Gloria clears her throat*
[MJC:] "OHMIGAWSH, are YOU choking!?"
[Gloria:] "No...just having some issues swallowing your digressions."
[MJC:] "Sorry, I'll get on with it. And Lucy's challenger is um...actually gone. She was staring at Lucy throughout her words but just shook her head and left, obviously not too impressed with the Captain of "H.M.S. Safe Digestion." Well, I guess its time for the LLAMMA Pro Champion Thunder Fist!"
*Thunder Fist steps from behind a curtain at stands at the podium. His face is covered by a black tribal mask, which is decorated with fangs, horns, and a depcition of a demon's face in gold relief. He has massive forearms and hands, and plants one fist on either side of the podium, glaring out into the throng of reporters. A moment passes*
[LLanny:] "Ooops"
*Llanny jumps up and gently eases Thunder Fist aside and takes the microphone*
[LLanny:] "Sorry folks, and sorry Miss Reyes, I guess I should've mentioned that Thunder Fist here doesn't speak English. Let's just bring out his challenger, and see if he has anything, um, interesting to say. Ed the Luchador, folks!"
*A skinny kid in a garish purple and yellow luchador outfit stumbles from behind the curtain and climbs up to the podium. His mask makes him look like a bug*
[Ed:]"Um...hi. Uh, yeah I want to fight him. And win...you know, his um....belt. That guy." *points at Thunder Fist, who is studiously ignoring Ed*
[LLanny:]"Wow. OK, thanks Ed. Mrs Carter?"
*Llanny pushes Ed off the stage in a bit of a huff. Thunder Fist looks around for a second and lumbers offstage also*
[MJC:] "Wow, what a night full of intrigue and twists and turns!! LAWL and LLAMMA Pro, pirates vs. peas, fists vs. guys named ed! Its almost enough to make you wonder if you're dreaming and went to cat heaven to visit and apologize to your ole kitten Clarabelle. *MJC looks down for a second and a tear goes down her eye* I'm sorry Clara, I thought you becoming "Super cat" and saving the world meant learning to fly. I was wrong."
*Gloria clears her throat and MJC refocuses*
[MJC:] "Now then! Thank you to everyone for joining us and we'll...well, THEY will, as I doubt I'll be invited back, see you for their upcoming show!! Thanks fans and have a fantabulous summer!!"
*MJC hands out some flyers to the press and the conference ends. The flyers are as follows*
"LAWL + LLAMMA Pro = LIFE" card - Sunday, July 13th, 2008 - 9pm- Venue: Live Chat
Main event: "Lleaping" Llanny Llama/LLAMA Mask vs Bill Z Bubb/Goocifur
Match 4: LLAMMA Pro Title: Thunder Fist (c) vs Ed the Luchador
Match 3: LAWL 1337 Title: Lucy Cutlass (c) vs. Pea Shooter - "Dangerous P"
Match 2: Madness Battle Royale - Bobo the Monkeyboy vs Squinky the Alien vs Jesus "el Savior" Christ vs Crackhead Dave vs Patata Dulce vs. Platano Cascara vs. Kata Mary vs. Pinata Mask
Match 1: Cutie Booties vs. Grace Reyes
See ya then!!