June 2008 Voltage
Jun 4, 2008 5:02:04 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Jun 4, 2008 5:02:04 GMT -5
June 2008 Voltage
*The shot pans around the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena to see the fans going nuts as Voltage returns to the airwaves. We're greeted by Mr. Clyde and a grinning Mr. Figaro*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok...I know you haven't done commentary since November so get it out of your system-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "That...that's it?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I just had to get THAT part out, the rest will come out slowly."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Unsettling. But hello fans and welcome to the first Voltage of....*sighs* 2008."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Why the sigh, pal? P.S. That rhymed!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "DId you just say "P.S." out loud? Forget it, yes you did....
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can say LOTS of things, Clyde!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Anyway, I sighed because the first Voltage of 2008 had to wait until JUNE."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I've been holed up in my room watching my own private reserve of Kim matches!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes..."matches". We hope to bring you a great show and get the Voltage roster going strong again tonight. The last time some of these women were seen...besides Figaro's "reserve"...was on the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV. At that show, OG-Joshi Champion Holly defended her title successfully against Alicia Gordon. And J*NiGHT captured the OG-Joshi Tag Team Championships from HAWT*Wing."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And your girlfriend beat my girlfriend, yo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Um..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No hard feelings...well, relatively speaking cause Kim's got me like ADAMANTIUM...but what matters is that Kat and Kim put aside any differences and are now firmly...EVER so firmly...united against the forces of Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we'll have more on that later tonight. But arguably the biggest story from the PPV was the unfortunate vicious attack of and injury to the beloved first OG-Joshi Champion, Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto. Now fans, we still are holding out hope for Dizzy's recovery but the prognosis really isn't good. We are trying to get word directly from Dizzy before we make any official announcements regarding her career and health, so we apologize for the lack of news as of late. General Celes has so much respect for Dizzy that she wanted to get news straight from her mouth before anything was announced."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I wish the Diz well, Clyde. She's a hell of a fighter and a genuinely NICE person."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Even Mr. Figaro respects her so much that he hasn't made any lude comments about her since the PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's been hard...difficult, I mean."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now there was also some good news at the PPV as a new #1 Contender has arisen. Visper Karr was able to defeat former OG-Joshi World Champion Haley Cannon in the final match of their best of seven series. As a result, Celes has given her a Title shot against Holly at the next OG-Joshi PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Scheduled for December 2109!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "....sure you want to make that suggestion?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Gulp! No!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Don't say "gulp."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Sorry, I keep misreading my lin...uh thoughts! It's been too darn long since the last Voltage!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yeah, nice "cover" there. In any case, the main event of the next OG-Joshi PPV will be Holly defending her Title against Visper. As for tonight, Celes has assigned some "revenge" work for Visper in having her face one of the women that attacked Dizzy, Sandy Morton."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Visper Karr is not part of the "Cease Fire" agreement that Orochi Army and J.U.S.T.I.C.E. have agreed to be bound under."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true but not entirely relevant here. And that is because Sandy Morton is NOT a member of the Orochi Army and so is not part of the Cease Fire. As much as Holly wanted that agreement to cover Sandy, Geese could not rightfully stomach having Sandy as part of Orochi Army...even just in name. So she's on her own against Alicia Gordon or anyone who wants revenge about the attack on Dizzy. For that matter, anyone who isn't Alicia Gordon in OG-Joshi can attempt revenge on behalf of Dizzy ON Holly. But I wouldn't imagine too many wrestlers will try it given Holly's muscle, Juli Krieger."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Plus Geese is waiting in the wings if things get a little TOO hot in the kitchen for Holly."
[Mr. Clyde:] "More so then ever, it would seem if I'm reading the situation correctly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Heh heh, yeah."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But for now, let us get to our first match and see if Visper can get a little revenge on Sandy for what happened to Dizzy, and also send a message to Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "My guess is...YES."
Match #1: Visper Karr vs. Sandy Morton
Sandy Morton comes down to the ring and is pelted with various garbage objects by angry fans. She runs backstage crying and then comes out with a SHOWER CAP so that she doesn't "like get junk in her hair."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow, you'd think with all the times Sandy has gotten showered with c-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "STOP RIGHT THERE."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I was going to say 'congratulations'" *Figaro grins*
Sandy gets into the ring looking mock frightened as Visper Karr then comes slowly stalking down to ringside, to a chorus of overwhelming cheers by the crowd. Visper points at Sandy and yells "YOU" and Sandy looks increasingly anxious...until a smile forms. Just then, Visper is attacked by behind by Linda Parker!!
Linda throws does all she could to get the upper hand on Visper but her lack of training clearly shows. Visper just shakes her head in disgust after catching an attempted face slap by Linda. Then she twists Linda's arm and transitions into a back spin kick, knocking Linda off the ramp and painfully onto the floor where she stays. Visper then angrily looks at Sandy and yells: "It's ON, bitch!"
Sandy is genuinely scared knowing that her back-up has failed. Visper runs into the ring and within a matter of SECONDS dismantles Sandy. Its not worth the play by play cause its a total squash. Sandy's face ends up covered with welts that appear caused by Visper's strikes and not some STD. Visper ends the match by knocking Sandy out with a particularly nasty Running Face Kick after yelling "This one's for the Diz".
Visper Karr (O) [Running Face Kick KO - 5:12] (X) Sandy Morton
*As Visper is going back up the ramp, Linda is beginning to pick herself up. Visper hits a short version of her Running Face Kick (think really hard "chon kick") on Linda and then walks off to the applause of the fans.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well Visper certainly looks primed to punish Holly's minions on her path to the gold."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But the questions a lot of people are asking are...where is Holly and Juli?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I believe they are backstage preparing for Holly's match with Azumi tonight."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You know who is ALSO backstage?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm guessing most of the OG-Joshi roster."
[Mr. Figaro:] "GIVE A FUN ANSWER!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Uh...a clown?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "CLOWNS SCARE ME!! But you know who doesn't? *Figaro whispers* Give a FUN answer!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Um, Mean Jean Carter?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "No fair, you looked at the schedule for the show!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, that's what being a responsible commentator is about. Now, we are joined backstage by OG-Joshi interviewer extraordinaire, Mean Jean Carter who, I am told, has quite the interview set up."
*We go backstage to a grinning MJC wearing a business suit*
[MJC:] Hello, OG-Joshi faithful! As you know,
OG-Joshi's news department is second to none, and we
set out to find the exclusive interview that will
shock OG-Joshi to the core! A woman who has promised
to answer a few questions as well as provide "expert
analysis" ... Jo Ryder!
*The camera pulls back, revealing professionally
dressed Jo Ryder standing beside Jean Carter.*
[MJC:] First of all, thank you for your time; I
imagine you're rather busy, so allow me to get to the
first question: In the wake of the horrific assault
upon Dizzy by your arch-nemesis Holly Robin Walker, we
are left to ask many questions, but first, can we get
your response to it, as well as ANY information?
[Jo Ryder:] My response? Dizzy, no, Diane Cavuto was
my client, but more importantly, she is my friend. To
see that happen was... was a shocking, terrifying act.
I don't know whether or not she's healthy because I
don't have the gall to demand information from her...
not with everything she's been put through.
[MJC:] I must ask this, with this happening, will you
return to pro wrestling to avenge Dizzy?!
[Jo Ryder:] No. I will not... I can not. Because, this
brings me to my analysis portion - Holly may be
watching, and we may need to take a momentary pause
while she prepares her Tivo to be able to repeat these
next few words endlessly, to ensure that I am saying
exactly what she thinks.
[MJC:] What? What is it?! What do you have to say?!
[Jo Ryder:] Holly did was the best thing she could
have, for Holly. She did what I would; but, BETTER.
Holly has control over the people in charge of the
organization - then, she has aligned herself with the
greatest pair of women in OG-Joshi - then, she removed
the women who would be the ONLY threat to her reign.
Every other woman in OG-Joshi can attempt it, but the
only guaranteed threat was taken out - with Kaori
Night and Jenny McLanahan busy as the OG-Joshi Tag
Team Champions, they are busy with their
responsibilities to the tag championship.
Holly has positioned herself to be untouchable.
[MJC:] What?!
[Jo Ryder:] It will take a lot for Holly to be
threatened - Visper Karr, the next challenger, has a
tall order in front of her; while she is undoubtedly
able to outsmart Juli Kreiger and Sandy Morton, she
may not be able to survive a joint assault.
[MJC:] I, I hadn't expected you to paint such a
negative picture for the future...
[Jo Ryder:] Well, truth is harsh. It may take a great
shake up in OG-Joshi to break Holly's choke hold of
the championship... and despite my desire to see Holly
lose, I can't help but admire that she's done
everything RIGHT to win.
[MJC:] I think we need to end this interview, no-
We go back to the commentators.
[Mr. Figaro:] "WOW..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I know, chilling analysis from the one woman that you'd never expect to compliment Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Huh? Oh, yeah, THAT. I was commenting on these coupons I found for free lube jobs!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I...I don't think that combination of words mean what you think they mean."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh haha, still playing the naive ninja eh? Well, if you're nice, I'll save a coupon for you!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "My car is fine."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Huh?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, so for those fans who WERE paying attention, Jo Ryder has just set out a very bleak picture for those wrestlers in OG-Joshi that are in opposition of Holly. Can even Visper Karr get through the plans Holly has made? When Jo Ryder is praising and actually respecting Holly's methods, you have to be concerned about her stranglehold on OG-Joshi. Celes has a lot of confidence in Visper though."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well she did just kick her way through Holly's front line."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true, but Holly's army attacks multiple times and in greater numbers with each new campaign. Visper took them out tonight, but could she do it when Juli and Holly are involved as well?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yikes, dagnabit, you done sunken my warship!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'll take that response as a way to segue into another topic. The Dods. They are another force that has yet to be properly reckoned with. Jane Dod and Lana had been battling for months and that was then tipped in favor of the Dods due to Polly's debut. Tonight, the two Dods will square off against Lana who has brought in reinforcements in the form of McPro legend and J*NiGHT member Juli Tanaka."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Juli Tanaka is not someone to take lightly. She seems like a nice quiet woman on the outside but anyone that has been one of her trainees in the McPro gym can tell you that this woman has a very disciplinarian mean streak. I mean, i'd LOVE for her to discipline me-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "What Figaro is trying to say is that Juli Tanaka doesn't take disrespect from anyone. Considering Juli is also part of the McLanahan Snack Road team, she is mortal enemies of the Dods."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So Juli was a good choice of Lana to team with tonight."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Will it be enough to take on two of the most impressive roster additions of the last year?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Let's find out! And quick! And NOW!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Indeed."
Match #2: Lana/Juli Tanaka vs. the Dods (Jane/Polly)
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And you have to hand it to the team of Lana and Juli here. They teamed up to make Polly work the hardest that she has had to thus far in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But when push came to shove, Polly dominated."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Jane certainly was the mastermind in their team strategy."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Another strong victory for dem damn DODS."
*Mr. Figaro shakes his fist in anger*
Juli/Lana (X) [Polly Whirl~2 - 35:25] (O) Polly/Jane
*'Fields of Fantasy' hits the speakers as General Celes comes out to the stage with a microphone. She waves to the crowd, soaking in the live Voltage, and then points to Jane Dod and asks her to stay put. Jane looks defensive, getting ready to evade punishment for SOME action, who knows which one*
[Celes:] "Miss Dod, I will only take a moment of your time. Since I knew you were going to be out here, I wanted to personally congratulate you for winning the EFW Angel's Championship."
*Jane looks taken back, surprised that she is actually being PRAISED by authority*
[Celes:] "Many questioned me when I signed you and Polly. But despite your occasional violent tendencies, I believe you both to be two of the top stars in Joshi wrestling today. Matches like that proved it. So I will be keeping a close eye on your achievements in the near future, especially in the tag team division."
*Jane smirks and ushers Polly to the ramp backstage, crossing paths with Celes who gets into the ring.*
[Celes:] "And since I just praised Jane for her achievements here and elsewhere, it is only right for me to praise the new LAWL OMG Champion...AND new OG-Joshi Tag Team Champion, Jenny McLanahan."
*Right as she says Jenny's name, Jane Dod's face contorts in a manner that makes you think she just smelled a fecal-covered skunk. (eeww) But she goes backstage without incident*
[Celes:] "I am also out here to introduce the next match. Originally, there was going to be an OG-Joshi World Championship defense by Holly against Azumi Oonishi. While that match will still take place, it will no longer be for the title. I do this out of respect for Visper Karr. After the intense series against Haley Cannon that Visper won, it would not be fair to her for anyone else to get the next title shot when it was promised to Visper. However, if Azumi can defeat Holly right now, Azumi can be next in line for a title-"
*Celes is interrupted by "Kick 'em when he's down" and the entrance of OG-Joshi World Champion Holly, who has a perturbed and frustrated look on her face as she stands on the stage area with a microphone.*
[Holly:] "So yeah, whatcha doing here, Celes?"
[Celes:] "I believe I just clearly made my objectives known."
[Holly:] "Oh, I GET what you are saying. I know this isn't a title shot. Why the hell SHOULD it be? All Azumi has ever done is embarrass herself. But MY problem here is that the match is NOW!? I AM the OG-Joshi World Champion and, as such, deserve to be in the main event of EVERY show, title shot or not."
[Celes:] "No, you really don't. Azumi, yes. But not you. Never you. Kat and Kim do and I have given them their chance tonight. But not you. You deserve nothing other then to get your face smashed in. If Azumi does not get that done, then I have every confidence that Visper Karr will do so at the next PPV."
*Holly feigns laughter and then rolls her eyes*
[Holly:] "Fine, fine, you're gonna be "difficult", I know you're just sore about "the Diz". So go ahead, just give the main event to Clyde and Figaro's "girl toys"... *Holly waves to the commentators*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Look Clyde, she's waving! Wave back! Wave harder!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I didn't start waving yet. With all due respect to Holly, and Azumi for that matter, Kat and Kim have both fully earned their main event spots tonight. Plus, they are not our 'girl toys'.
[Mr. Figaro:] "Would you have been less offended if she said Kat was your 'ninja toy?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "..."
[Holly:] "So Celes, my only REAL question for you tonight is...
*Holly gets a look of excitement on her face*
[Holly:] "WHERE IS ALICIA GORDON!?"
[Celes:] "I will be perfectly honest with you, I have NO idea. It would give me much pleasure to tell you that she is waiting in the back of the building to eliminate you, but we all know the Cease Fire has eliminated that possibility...for now. Furthermore, I believe she is still in California."
[Holly:] "Ahh diligently defending her 1337 Champion- OH WAIT! OMG I'm SO sorry! *Holly looks exasperated and embarrassed* I forgot she lost that at LAWLiday!! Damn, how the HELL could she have lost that title to a bunch of PIRATES? I mean, that's like one step removed from losing to Jakob Furis!!
*Holly smiles wryly*
[Holly:] "Oh totally unrelated, you got a cell phone?"
[Celes:] "Yes. But my patience is running out of 'minutes."
[Holly:] "Cute! But work with me for a second on this hun, you'll like it. Can you give Drake Yoshida a call and ask if he can put together a match with Thunder Strike against Jakob Furis? That's totally the kind of shit match he'd make and it would be just PERFECT after Alicia losing to pirates!"
[Celes:] "...I don't actually doubt that Yoshida would feature that match as a main event."
[Holly:] "OMG we agreed! We're like totally best friends now!! Can I have Sandy and Linda give you a make-over? Maybe we can even get Geese to LIKE you again!"
*Celes's expression stiffens and she holds her hand out, in a fist, facing the ring.*
[Celes:] "I wouldn't be making any 'appointments' with those two after what Visper did to them earlier tonight. As for Geese, he seems content with the choices he has made. But more importantly, you have 10 seconds to get to the ring and get ready to wrestle Azumi. If you waste any more time, I'll strip you-"
*Holly's eyes go wide as she begins fanning herself with her hand. To complete the act, she blushes*
[Holly:] "Oooh, Celes!! You know JUST what a girl wants, don't you!?! Well, you save those bedroom eyes for the Cooze. I'm flattered, but you're not my type - Make-over or not. Now, if you would excuse me, I've got some Azumi's to Oonishi."
[Celes:] "That doesn't make any sense-"
[Holly:] "Neither does having Azumi face me- but oh well-
*Holly begins nonchalantly walking to the ring but stops midway and smirks.*
[Holly:] "Oh WAIT! I just remembered!! You distracted me before in order to SEDUCE me, you little minx! The whole reason I asked if Alicia was here is cause I don't feel comfortable facing Azumi without her!!"
[Celes:] "Excuse me? You want Alicia in Azumi's corner? Have you gone mad?"
[Holly:] "Mad with WITHDRAWAL!! I'm sorry but I'm just not sure if I'll EVER be able to beat and humiliate anyone in the same way after what happened at the 4 Year Anniversary PPV. That was like...humiliation AMBROSIA. Once you've had the experience of watching a catatonic Alicia Gordon STARE into space as your friends beat Dizzy to a crippled pulp, NOTHING can compare!!"
*Loud, LOUD boos are heard as Holly bursts out in raucous laughter. Celes's face turns red as her hands once again wrap into fists.*
[Holly:] " I swear, Cesspool, it was like Alicia had a f'n STROKE right in front of my eyes. I even saw a little drool coming from her chapped man lips. It was glorious, she was all:
*Holly puts on a dumbfounded slack-jawed expression and begins to drool. The crowd begins pelting her with garbage but, unlike Sandy's grossed-out reaction, Holly just smiles and puts the garbage on top of her head and continues to 'act like' Alicia Gordon. She grows tired of this after a bit and then smirks.*
[Holly:] "Meanwhile Dizzy was all: "EEP! I CANT WALK!"
*Holly falls down to the ground and writhes as if she was in severe pain. This is all Celes can take.*
[Celes:] "GET TO THE RING! Or I swear I will END you RIGHT NOW!"
*Holly pats her ass as if to say: "bring it". Celes begins to charge but before she gets a chance, Azumi Oonishi RUSHES out from the curtain and kicks Holly right in the outstretched ass, sending her reeling down the ramp. Celes looks somewhat pleased that Azumi is the one to do this but still angrily marches to the back after seeing the mockery Holly just made. Meanwhile, Azumi has Holly tumbling to the ring.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Fans, it looks like this match has already started so let's just get right to the action."
[Mr. Figaro:] "We're already there, Clyde!! Let's get to MORE action!"
Match #3: Azumi Oonishi vs. Holly (c)
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[Mr. Clyde:] "You have to feel for Azumi here. She was obviously more emotional then she could handle and Holly took full advantage of it. It's hard to tell what exactly Holly's little "performance" earlier was attempting to do: Anger Celes, taunt Alicia, or throw Azumi off her game."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Holly is too talented to be taken on in an off-balance emotional state."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is the great challenge of everyone in OG-Joshi. Trying to face Holly and NOT get so irate and lose your strategy and gameplay in the process. Holly can push just about everyone's buttons here and had Azumi flailing so much out of anger that she was able to easily put her away."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And then to get humiliated after that by the Muff Driver."
Azumi Oonishi (X) ["Muff Driver" - 12:38] (O) Holly
*Holly grabs a microphone and then brings it right up to Azumi's face.*
[Holly:] "The only reason I'm not ending your career here and now is because Celes was stupid enough to grant you a "revenge" match against Juli Krieger at the next Voltage. And when Juli takes you out, that gives her the "hat trick" in hospitalizing and breaking the necks of HAWT*Wing members. I'd be a real meanie-pants if I stood in the way of a record like that!! So enjoy the next few weeks, Azumi! While everyone else is having fun in the sun this summer...at Orochi-O's Land no less, you're gonna be followed by a big German storm cloud who will strike your spine down with lightning at the next Voltage!! See ya then!"
*Holly kicks Azumi in the ribs one more time and then leaves the ring while regaling the booing audience with the Sesame Street "Sunny days" song until her mic is cut.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it's time for our main event."
[Mr. Figaro:] "This has a lot of history to it but let's start at the PPV and work our way backwards."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat Black and Kim Cross had just had an excellent match in which Kat won. Afterwards, they were BOTH attacked by-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Forces of evil!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo. Women who had issues with Kat and Kim. Kat and Crimson had been enemies for much of 2006 and Kim and Lori had been rivals that didn't exactly see eye to eye."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But when Crimson and Lori attacked, they didn't expect Kat and Kim to band together!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Of if they did, they didn't expect them to be able to have enough endurance, after their previous match, to be able to fight them off for so long until you got there to make the final save."
[Mr. Figaro:] "There was NO way I was allowing our honeys to get jacked, yo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You made that point clear...with that unfortunate wording...repeatedly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "LEGIT!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Of further note is that Crimson had made her return to OG-Joshi that night after an entire year of a self-imposed hiatus. Perhaps she was waiting for the perfect spot to attack, or waiting for people to forget about her and have their guard down."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And the Coooooooze had been suspended from OG-Joshi by General Celes for punching me in the NARDS! Booo on the Cooze for everything! BOO, I say, BOOOO!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Due to the attack at the PPV, Kat and Kim wanted to get their hands on the two so they requested that the Coo...that Lori Cuozzo be let back into OG-Joshi to compete against them. Celes agreed and also gave Crimson Mask a temporary contract until the issues could be settled. And while it has not yet been finalized, Celes is currently working on a way for all four women to end their rivalries at the next PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'll tell ya Clyde, its really an odd tag team there."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat and Kim?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "NO! They are a heavenly tag team!! Not only are they are chickadees, but their combined styles and skills make them a very strong unit!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I agree with you about their in ring prowess. They definitely compliment each other with their unique AND shared abilities. Celes even told me that while she was annoyed that they were attacked, she was glad that a potential new stalwart OG-Joshi tag team was formed."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's great Clyde...but I have NO idea what that word means."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But I think you were referring to Lori and Crimson Mask as the "odd" tag team. And I certainly agree with you in terms of styles. But when it comes to their connection, it's clear these two of the most spite-filled and hateful individuals I've ever had the misfortune to know."
[Mr. Figaro:] "They also BOTH hate pretty things. Which is why they went after Kat and Kim!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And have gone after others who they see as "weak" because of their appearances."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Kat and Kim are not weak."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat has defeated Crimson Mask twice, including in a hardcore match. Kim Cross has beaten Jo Ryder among other greats in the business. We are talking about two wrestlers here who have been the top rising stars of OG-Joshi in the last year or two."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I'm a little worried, Clyde. Crimson seems more interested in hurting her opponents and making them bleed then beating them. Lori...well no one really KNOWS what she wants cause she got suspended so fast from OG-Joshi that she didn't say. HA!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I share your concerns, but I have confidence that Kat and Kim can -"
*Suddenly, there's a ruckus from the back. We see Kat, Kim, Lori, and Crimson brawling to the stage area. Kim manages to buy herself enough breathing room to shout to Figaro: "The uggos jumped us!"*
[Mr. Figaro:] "THOSE SWINES! They attacked Kat and Kim backstage!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we have a long way to go until this issue is settled, that is for sure. They are brawling towards the ring. But even though Crimson and Lori jumped Kat and Kim, it appears that no side has the advantage. And we're gonna be starting this match off with a LOT of vitriol on both sides."
[Mr. Figaro:] "STOP USING CRAZY NINJA WORDS!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to the ring!"
Match #4: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
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*After the match, Kim and Kat continue to keep their guard up. Crimson Mask merely hisses in pleasure as points to Kim Cross. She then looks at Lori who also seems proud of herself. The two leave the ring without any further attacks as Kat and Kim look on ready to defend further. The ref raises the arms of Kat and Kim even though Lori is motioning that she and Crimson are the "real" winners here.*
Kat/Kim (O) [Kimpaler - 28:15] (X) Crimson/Lori
[Mr. Clyde:] "One of the most brutal tag team matches we've ever seen here on Voltage or even in OG-Joshi. These four women went all out in a very anger-driven and physical affair-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wait a minute...is that blood-?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you gotta believe this isn't the last we're seeing of THIS feud-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "SHES BLEEDING!!!!!! Kim Cross is bleeding!! AHHHH!"
*Mr. Figaro attempts to rush to the ring but Mr. Clyde holds him back*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Listen, what you did at the PPV was admirable and if they are in REAL trouble again like they were that night, I'll even help you and them out. But they have things under control here now. And as much as Kim admires her own looks, she's not the KENTA Army. A little blood doesn't freak Kim out. Remember when Lana broke her nose, Kim just came back stronger from it."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No, but thanks for reminding me!! First you stop me from avenging Kim's beautiful perfect silky skin and now you remind me of Lana breaking Kim's nose! Damn it, Clyde, it's bad enough my KIM-MUFFIN is bleeding, I don't need more reasons for my heart to wail in manly sobs!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Look at the expressions on their faces. Listen to the applause.. "
*Mr. Figaro sits back and does just that as he takes in the HUGE uproarious applause from the fans for a very tired but defiant looking Kat and Kim.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's matches like THAT which bring out the warrior spirit in wrestlers. Kat and Kim just fought one of the hardest matches in their careers and WON. They won as a TEAM, no less, with shared principles and resolve. In my book, that is cause for celebration and pride...not wailing, manly sobs..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And Kim spiked Crimson with that DDT...but why are Lori and Crimson celebrating!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Crimson Mask came to OG-Joshi to make wrestlers BLEED and mess up their appearances. So yes, if she wants to define her goals so narrowly and simplisticallym then she can claim her own victory when she causes blood in an encounter. As for Lori, she likes bullying wrestlers and getting an angry reaction from them. But when all was said and done, Kat and Kim defeated them. It was a close match but a clear victory. However, I don't think Crimson and Lori's mission is over judging by their behavior."
[Mr. Figaro:] "AHH! That makes me so MAD! Kat and Kim were clear winners but Lori and Crimson are marching around triumphant and happy like they own the place!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I highly doubt that "happy" is part of their personality profiles or desires."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Still, Kat and Kim demand further satisfaction!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, we'll have to see about that. For now, YOU demand that satisfaction for them, and I can't say I totally blame you. I think they'd rest easier knowing they not only won this match, but that they silenced and stopped Crimson and Lori's plans and satisfaction here. But until that day is reached, if it ever is, Kat and Kim should be content about their victory tonight."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I am!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And that a new wrestler may be joining their cause at the next show."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Really!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Whether she will actually return here after all that happened...well that remains to be seen. But General Celes has booked Alicia Gordon against Lori at the next Voltage."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh right!! Wow, that's gonna be pretty messed up!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We don't know the mental condition of Miss Gordon now, but we do know she has been close friends with Kat Black for the last few years. With Alicia covered by the Cease Fire, she will no longer be able to attack Holly without losing her job here. Will that matter to Alicia? Who knows. But if it does, she is left with no one else to face....after she demolishes Sandy Morton that is."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And she could do that ON HER WAY to her match with Lori and not break a sweat!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So will Alicia return to face Lori and help Kat and Kim? Will she no-show? Or will she have a completely different reason for returning? That is just one issue for the next Voltage. Then there is the match and dangerous situation brewing between Azumi and Juli. We also have Lana facing Haley Cannon in what should be a real physical match between two stoic competitors. And we will also be featuring a tag match between Juli Tanaka and Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT vs. the Dods: a match made all the more interesting by the match earlier tonight. So folks, thank you for joining us tonight and we'll see you at the next show."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hopefully before 2009!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, that."
*The show ends with a shot of Kat and Kim celebrating in the ring to cheers from their adoring crowd*
*Fin*
*The shot pans around the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena to see the fans going nuts as Voltage returns to the airwaves. We're greeted by Mr. Clyde and a grinning Mr. Figaro*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Ok...I know you haven't done commentary since November so get it out of your system-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "That...that's it?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "I just had to get THAT part out, the rest will come out slowly."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Unsettling. But hello fans and welcome to the first Voltage of....*sighs* 2008."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Why the sigh, pal? P.S. That rhymed!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "DId you just say "P.S." out loud? Forget it, yes you did....
[Mr. Figaro:] "I can say LOTS of things, Clyde!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Anyway, I sighed because the first Voltage of 2008 had to wait until JUNE."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I've been holed up in my room watching my own private reserve of Kim matches!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes..."matches". We hope to bring you a great show and get the Voltage roster going strong again tonight. The last time some of these women were seen...besides Figaro's "reserve"...was on the OG-FPD 4 Year Anniversary PPV. At that show, OG-Joshi Champion Holly defended her title successfully against Alicia Gordon. And J*NiGHT captured the OG-Joshi Tag Team Championships from HAWT*Wing."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And your girlfriend beat my girlfriend, yo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Um..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No hard feelings...well, relatively speaking cause Kim's got me like ADAMANTIUM...but what matters is that Kat and Kim put aside any differences and are now firmly...EVER so firmly...united against the forces of Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we'll have more on that later tonight. But arguably the biggest story from the PPV was the unfortunate vicious attack of and injury to the beloved first OG-Joshi Champion, Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto. Now fans, we still are holding out hope for Dizzy's recovery but the prognosis really isn't good. We are trying to get word directly from Dizzy before we make any official announcements regarding her career and health, so we apologize for the lack of news as of late. General Celes has so much respect for Dizzy that she wanted to get news straight from her mouth before anything was announced."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I wish the Diz well, Clyde. She's a hell of a fighter and a genuinely NICE person."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Even Mr. Figaro respects her so much that he hasn't made any lude comments about her since the PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "It's been hard...difficult, I mean."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Now there was also some good news at the PPV as a new #1 Contender has arisen. Visper Karr was able to defeat former OG-Joshi World Champion Haley Cannon in the final match of their best of seven series. As a result, Celes has given her a Title shot against Holly at the next OG-Joshi PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Scheduled for December 2109!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "....sure you want to make that suggestion?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Gulp! No!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Don't say "gulp."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Sorry, I keep misreading my lin...uh thoughts! It's been too darn long since the last Voltage!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yeah, nice "cover" there. In any case, the main event of the next OG-Joshi PPV will be Holly defending her Title against Visper. As for tonight, Celes has assigned some "revenge" work for Visper in having her face one of the women that attacked Dizzy, Sandy Morton."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Visper Karr is not part of the "Cease Fire" agreement that Orochi Army and J.U.S.T.I.C.E. have agreed to be bound under."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true but not entirely relevant here. And that is because Sandy Morton is NOT a member of the Orochi Army and so is not part of the Cease Fire. As much as Holly wanted that agreement to cover Sandy, Geese could not rightfully stomach having Sandy as part of Orochi Army...even just in name. So she's on her own against Alicia Gordon or anyone who wants revenge about the attack on Dizzy. For that matter, anyone who isn't Alicia Gordon in OG-Joshi can attempt revenge on behalf of Dizzy ON Holly. But I wouldn't imagine too many wrestlers will try it given Holly's muscle, Juli Krieger."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Plus Geese is waiting in the wings if things get a little TOO hot in the kitchen for Holly."
[Mr. Clyde:] "More so then ever, it would seem if I'm reading the situation correctly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Heh heh, yeah."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But for now, let us get to our first match and see if Visper can get a little revenge on Sandy for what happened to Dizzy, and also send a message to Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "My guess is...YES."
Match #1: Visper Karr vs. Sandy Morton
Sandy Morton comes down to the ring and is pelted with various garbage objects by angry fans. She runs backstage crying and then comes out with a SHOWER CAP so that she doesn't "like get junk in her hair."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wow, you'd think with all the times Sandy has gotten showered with c-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "STOP RIGHT THERE."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I was going to say 'congratulations'" *Figaro grins*
Sandy gets into the ring looking mock frightened as Visper Karr then comes slowly stalking down to ringside, to a chorus of overwhelming cheers by the crowd. Visper points at Sandy and yells "YOU" and Sandy looks increasingly anxious...until a smile forms. Just then, Visper is attacked by behind by Linda Parker!!
Linda throws does all she could to get the upper hand on Visper but her lack of training clearly shows. Visper just shakes her head in disgust after catching an attempted face slap by Linda. Then she twists Linda's arm and transitions into a back spin kick, knocking Linda off the ramp and painfully onto the floor where she stays. Visper then angrily looks at Sandy and yells: "It's ON, bitch!"
Sandy is genuinely scared knowing that her back-up has failed. Visper runs into the ring and within a matter of SECONDS dismantles Sandy. Its not worth the play by play cause its a total squash. Sandy's face ends up covered with welts that appear caused by Visper's strikes and not some STD. Visper ends the match by knocking Sandy out with a particularly nasty Running Face Kick after yelling "This one's for the Diz".
Visper Karr (O) [Running Face Kick KO - 5:12] (X) Sandy Morton
*As Visper is going back up the ramp, Linda is beginning to pick herself up. Visper hits a short version of her Running Face Kick (think really hard "chon kick") on Linda and then walks off to the applause of the fans.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well Visper certainly looks primed to punish Holly's minions on her path to the gold."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But the questions a lot of people are asking are...where is Holly and Juli?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I believe they are backstage preparing for Holly's match with Azumi tonight."
[Mr. Figaro:] "You know who is ALSO backstage?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'm guessing most of the OG-Joshi roster."
[Mr. Figaro:] "GIVE A FUN ANSWER!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Uh...a clown?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "CLOWNS SCARE ME!! But you know who doesn't? *Figaro whispers* Give a FUN answer!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Um, Mean Jean Carter?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "No fair, you looked at the schedule for the show!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, that's what being a responsible commentator is about. Now, we are joined backstage by OG-Joshi interviewer extraordinaire, Mean Jean Carter who, I am told, has quite the interview set up."
*We go backstage to a grinning MJC wearing a business suit*
[MJC:] Hello, OG-Joshi faithful! As you know,
OG-Joshi's news department is second to none, and we
set out to find the exclusive interview that will
shock OG-Joshi to the core! A woman who has promised
to answer a few questions as well as provide "expert
analysis" ... Jo Ryder!
*The camera pulls back, revealing professionally
dressed Jo Ryder standing beside Jean Carter.*
[MJC:] First of all, thank you for your time; I
imagine you're rather busy, so allow me to get to the
first question: In the wake of the horrific assault
upon Dizzy by your arch-nemesis Holly Robin Walker, we
are left to ask many questions, but first, can we get
your response to it, as well as ANY information?
[Jo Ryder:] My response? Dizzy, no, Diane Cavuto was
my client, but more importantly, she is my friend. To
see that happen was... was a shocking, terrifying act.
I don't know whether or not she's healthy because I
don't have the gall to demand information from her...
not with everything she's been put through.
[MJC:] I must ask this, with this happening, will you
return to pro wrestling to avenge Dizzy?!
[Jo Ryder:] No. I will not... I can not. Because, this
brings me to my analysis portion - Holly may be
watching, and we may need to take a momentary pause
while she prepares her Tivo to be able to repeat these
next few words endlessly, to ensure that I am saying
exactly what she thinks.
[MJC:] What? What is it?! What do you have to say?!
[Jo Ryder:] Holly did was the best thing she could
have, for Holly. She did what I would; but, BETTER.
Holly has control over the people in charge of the
organization - then, she has aligned herself with the
greatest pair of women in OG-Joshi - then, she removed
the women who would be the ONLY threat to her reign.
Every other woman in OG-Joshi can attempt it, but the
only guaranteed threat was taken out - with Kaori
Night and Jenny McLanahan busy as the OG-Joshi Tag
Team Champions, they are busy with their
responsibilities to the tag championship.
Holly has positioned herself to be untouchable.
[MJC:] What?!
[Jo Ryder:] It will take a lot for Holly to be
threatened - Visper Karr, the next challenger, has a
tall order in front of her; while she is undoubtedly
able to outsmart Juli Kreiger and Sandy Morton, she
may not be able to survive a joint assault.
[MJC:] I, I hadn't expected you to paint such a
negative picture for the future...
[Jo Ryder:] Well, truth is harsh. It may take a great
shake up in OG-Joshi to break Holly's choke hold of
the championship... and despite my desire to see Holly
lose, I can't help but admire that she's done
everything RIGHT to win.
[MJC:] I think we need to end this interview, no-
We go back to the commentators.
[Mr. Figaro:] "WOW..."
[Mr. Clyde:] "I know, chilling analysis from the one woman that you'd never expect to compliment Holly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Huh? Oh, yeah, THAT. I was commenting on these coupons I found for free lube jobs!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I...I don't think that combination of words mean what you think they mean."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh haha, still playing the naive ninja eh? Well, if you're nice, I'll save a coupon for you!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "My car is fine."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Huh?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, so for those fans who WERE paying attention, Jo Ryder has just set out a very bleak picture for those wrestlers in OG-Joshi that are in opposition of Holly. Can even Visper Karr get through the plans Holly has made? When Jo Ryder is praising and actually respecting Holly's methods, you have to be concerned about her stranglehold on OG-Joshi. Celes has a lot of confidence in Visper though."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Well she did just kick her way through Holly's front line."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is true, but Holly's army attacks multiple times and in greater numbers with each new campaign. Visper took them out tonight, but could she do it when Juli and Holly are involved as well?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Yikes, dagnabit, you done sunken my warship!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I'll take that response as a way to segue into another topic. The Dods. They are another force that has yet to be properly reckoned with. Jane Dod and Lana had been battling for months and that was then tipped in favor of the Dods due to Polly's debut. Tonight, the two Dods will square off against Lana who has brought in reinforcements in the form of McPro legend and J*NiGHT member Juli Tanaka."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Juli Tanaka is not someone to take lightly. She seems like a nice quiet woman on the outside but anyone that has been one of her trainees in the McPro gym can tell you that this woman has a very disciplinarian mean streak. I mean, i'd LOVE for her to discipline me-"
[Mr. Clyde:] "What Figaro is trying to say is that Juli Tanaka doesn't take disrespect from anyone. Considering Juli is also part of the McLanahan Snack Road team, she is mortal enemies of the Dods."
[Mr. Figaro:] "So Juli was a good choice of Lana to team with tonight."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Will it be enough to take on two of the most impressive roster additions of the last year?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Let's find out! And quick! And NOW!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Indeed."
Match #2: Lana/Juli Tanaka vs. the Dods (Jane/Polly)
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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[Mr. Clyde:] "And you have to hand it to the team of Lana and Juli here. They teamed up to make Polly work the hardest that she has had to thus far in OG-Joshi."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But when push came to shove, Polly dominated."
[Mr. Clyde:] "And Jane certainly was the mastermind in their team strategy."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Another strong victory for dem damn DODS."
*Mr. Figaro shakes his fist in anger*
Juli/Lana (X) [Polly Whirl~2 - 35:25] (O) Polly/Jane
*'Fields of Fantasy' hits the speakers as General Celes comes out to the stage with a microphone. She waves to the crowd, soaking in the live Voltage, and then points to Jane Dod and asks her to stay put. Jane looks defensive, getting ready to evade punishment for SOME action, who knows which one*
[Celes:] "Miss Dod, I will only take a moment of your time. Since I knew you were going to be out here, I wanted to personally congratulate you for winning the EFW Angel's Championship."
*Jane looks taken back, surprised that she is actually being PRAISED by authority*
[Celes:] "Many questioned me when I signed you and Polly. But despite your occasional violent tendencies, I believe you both to be two of the top stars in Joshi wrestling today. Matches like that proved it. So I will be keeping a close eye on your achievements in the near future, especially in the tag team division."
*Jane smirks and ushers Polly to the ramp backstage, crossing paths with Celes who gets into the ring.*
[Celes:] "And since I just praised Jane for her achievements here and elsewhere, it is only right for me to praise the new LAWL OMG Champion...AND new OG-Joshi Tag Team Champion, Jenny McLanahan."
*Right as she says Jenny's name, Jane Dod's face contorts in a manner that makes you think she just smelled a fecal-covered skunk. (eeww) But she goes backstage without incident*
[Celes:] "I am also out here to introduce the next match. Originally, there was going to be an OG-Joshi World Championship defense by Holly against Azumi Oonishi. While that match will still take place, it will no longer be for the title. I do this out of respect for Visper Karr. After the intense series against Haley Cannon that Visper won, it would not be fair to her for anyone else to get the next title shot when it was promised to Visper. However, if Azumi can defeat Holly right now, Azumi can be next in line for a title-"
*Celes is interrupted by "Kick 'em when he's down" and the entrance of OG-Joshi World Champion Holly, who has a perturbed and frustrated look on her face as she stands on the stage area with a microphone.*
[Holly:] "So yeah, whatcha doing here, Celes?"
[Celes:] "I believe I just clearly made my objectives known."
[Holly:] "Oh, I GET what you are saying. I know this isn't a title shot. Why the hell SHOULD it be? All Azumi has ever done is embarrass herself. But MY problem here is that the match is NOW!? I AM the OG-Joshi World Champion and, as such, deserve to be in the main event of EVERY show, title shot or not."
[Celes:] "No, you really don't. Azumi, yes. But not you. Never you. Kat and Kim do and I have given them their chance tonight. But not you. You deserve nothing other then to get your face smashed in. If Azumi does not get that done, then I have every confidence that Visper Karr will do so at the next PPV."
*Holly feigns laughter and then rolls her eyes*
[Holly:] "Fine, fine, you're gonna be "difficult", I know you're just sore about "the Diz". So go ahead, just give the main event to Clyde and Figaro's "girl toys"... *Holly waves to the commentators*
[Mr. Figaro:] "Look Clyde, she's waving! Wave back! Wave harder!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I didn't start waving yet. With all due respect to Holly, and Azumi for that matter, Kat and Kim have both fully earned their main event spots tonight. Plus, they are not our 'girl toys'.
[Mr. Figaro:] "Would you have been less offended if she said Kat was your 'ninja toy?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "..."
[Holly:] "So Celes, my only REAL question for you tonight is...
*Holly gets a look of excitement on her face*
[Holly:] "WHERE IS ALICIA GORDON!?"
[Celes:] "I will be perfectly honest with you, I have NO idea. It would give me much pleasure to tell you that she is waiting in the back of the building to eliminate you, but we all know the Cease Fire has eliminated that possibility...for now. Furthermore, I believe she is still in California."
[Holly:] "Ahh diligently defending her 1337 Champion- OH WAIT! OMG I'm SO sorry! *Holly looks exasperated and embarrassed* I forgot she lost that at LAWLiday!! Damn, how the HELL could she have lost that title to a bunch of PIRATES? I mean, that's like one step removed from losing to Jakob Furis!!
*Holly smiles wryly*
[Holly:] "Oh totally unrelated, you got a cell phone?"
[Celes:] "Yes. But my patience is running out of 'minutes."
[Holly:] "Cute! But work with me for a second on this hun, you'll like it. Can you give Drake Yoshida a call and ask if he can put together a match with Thunder Strike against Jakob Furis? That's totally the kind of shit match he'd make and it would be just PERFECT after Alicia losing to pirates!"
[Celes:] "...I don't actually doubt that Yoshida would feature that match as a main event."
[Holly:] "OMG we agreed! We're like totally best friends now!! Can I have Sandy and Linda give you a make-over? Maybe we can even get Geese to LIKE you again!"
*Celes's expression stiffens and she holds her hand out, in a fist, facing the ring.*
[Celes:] "I wouldn't be making any 'appointments' with those two after what Visper did to them earlier tonight. As for Geese, he seems content with the choices he has made. But more importantly, you have 10 seconds to get to the ring and get ready to wrestle Azumi. If you waste any more time, I'll strip you-"
*Holly's eyes go wide as she begins fanning herself with her hand. To complete the act, she blushes*
[Holly:] "Oooh, Celes!! You know JUST what a girl wants, don't you!?! Well, you save those bedroom eyes for the Cooze. I'm flattered, but you're not my type - Make-over or not. Now, if you would excuse me, I've got some Azumi's to Oonishi."
[Celes:] "That doesn't make any sense-"
[Holly:] "Neither does having Azumi face me- but oh well-
*Holly begins nonchalantly walking to the ring but stops midway and smirks.*
[Holly:] "Oh WAIT! I just remembered!! You distracted me before in order to SEDUCE me, you little minx! The whole reason I asked if Alicia was here is cause I don't feel comfortable facing Azumi without her!!"
[Celes:] "Excuse me? You want Alicia in Azumi's corner? Have you gone mad?"
[Holly:] "Mad with WITHDRAWAL!! I'm sorry but I'm just not sure if I'll EVER be able to beat and humiliate anyone in the same way after what happened at the 4 Year Anniversary PPV. That was like...humiliation AMBROSIA. Once you've had the experience of watching a catatonic Alicia Gordon STARE into space as your friends beat Dizzy to a crippled pulp, NOTHING can compare!!"
*Loud, LOUD boos are heard as Holly bursts out in raucous laughter. Celes's face turns red as her hands once again wrap into fists.*
[Holly:] " I swear, Cesspool, it was like Alicia had a f'n STROKE right in front of my eyes. I even saw a little drool coming from her chapped man lips. It was glorious, she was all:
*Holly puts on a dumbfounded slack-jawed expression and begins to drool. The crowd begins pelting her with garbage but, unlike Sandy's grossed-out reaction, Holly just smiles and puts the garbage on top of her head and continues to 'act like' Alicia Gordon. She grows tired of this after a bit and then smirks.*
[Holly:] "Meanwhile Dizzy was all: "EEP! I CANT WALK!"
*Holly falls down to the ground and writhes as if she was in severe pain. This is all Celes can take.*
[Celes:] "GET TO THE RING! Or I swear I will END you RIGHT NOW!"
*Holly pats her ass as if to say: "bring it". Celes begins to charge but before she gets a chance, Azumi Oonishi RUSHES out from the curtain and kicks Holly right in the outstretched ass, sending her reeling down the ramp. Celes looks somewhat pleased that Azumi is the one to do this but still angrily marches to the back after seeing the mockery Holly just made. Meanwhile, Azumi has Holly tumbling to the ring.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Fans, it looks like this match has already started so let's just get right to the action."
[Mr. Figaro:] "We're already there, Clyde!! Let's get to MORE action!"
Match #3: Azumi Oonishi vs. Holly (c)
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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[Mr. Clyde:] "You have to feel for Azumi here. She was obviously more emotional then she could handle and Holly took full advantage of it. It's hard to tell what exactly Holly's little "performance" earlier was attempting to do: Anger Celes, taunt Alicia, or throw Azumi off her game."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Holly is too talented to be taken on in an off-balance emotional state."
[Mr. Clyde:] "That is the great challenge of everyone in OG-Joshi. Trying to face Holly and NOT get so irate and lose your strategy and gameplay in the process. Holly can push just about everyone's buttons here and had Azumi flailing so much out of anger that she was able to easily put her away."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And then to get humiliated after that by the Muff Driver."
Azumi Oonishi (X) ["Muff Driver" - 12:38] (O) Holly
*Holly grabs a microphone and then brings it right up to Azumi's face.*
[Holly:] "The only reason I'm not ending your career here and now is because Celes was stupid enough to grant you a "revenge" match against Juli Krieger at the next Voltage. And when Juli takes you out, that gives her the "hat trick" in hospitalizing and breaking the necks of HAWT*Wing members. I'd be a real meanie-pants if I stood in the way of a record like that!! So enjoy the next few weeks, Azumi! While everyone else is having fun in the sun this summer...at Orochi-O's Land no less, you're gonna be followed by a big German storm cloud who will strike your spine down with lightning at the next Voltage!! See ya then!"
*Holly kicks Azumi in the ribs one more time and then leaves the ring while regaling the booing audience with the Sesame Street "Sunny days" song until her mic is cut.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "And it's time for our main event."
[Mr. Figaro:] "This has a lot of history to it but let's start at the PPV and work our way backwards."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat Black and Kim Cross had just had an excellent match in which Kat won. Afterwards, they were BOTH attacked by-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Forces of evil!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Crimson Mask and Lori Cuozzo. Women who had issues with Kat and Kim. Kat and Crimson had been enemies for much of 2006 and Kim and Lori had been rivals that didn't exactly see eye to eye."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But when Crimson and Lori attacked, they didn't expect Kat and Kim to band together!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Of if they did, they didn't expect them to be able to have enough endurance, after their previous match, to be able to fight them off for so long until you got there to make the final save."
[Mr. Figaro:] "There was NO way I was allowing our honeys to get jacked, yo!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "You made that point clear...with that unfortunate wording...repeatedly."
[Mr. Figaro:] "LEGIT!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Of further note is that Crimson had made her return to OG-Joshi that night after an entire year of a self-imposed hiatus. Perhaps she was waiting for the perfect spot to attack, or waiting for people to forget about her and have their guard down."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And the Coooooooze had been suspended from OG-Joshi by General Celes for punching me in the NARDS! Booo on the Cooze for everything! BOO, I say, BOOOO!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Due to the attack at the PPV, Kat and Kim wanted to get their hands on the two so they requested that the Coo...that Lori Cuozzo be let back into OG-Joshi to compete against them. Celes agreed and also gave Crimson Mask a temporary contract until the issues could be settled. And while it has not yet been finalized, Celes is currently working on a way for all four women to end their rivalries at the next PPV."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I'll tell ya Clyde, its really an odd tag team there."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat and Kim?"
[Mr. Figaro:] "NO! They are a heavenly tag team!! Not only are they are chickadees, but their combined styles and skills make them a very strong unit!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I agree with you about their in ring prowess. They definitely compliment each other with their unique AND shared abilities. Celes even told me that while she was annoyed that they were attacked, she was glad that a potential new stalwart OG-Joshi tag team was formed."
[Mr. Figaro:] "That's great Clyde...but I have NO idea what that word means."
[Mr. Clyde:] "But I think you were referring to Lori and Crimson Mask as the "odd" tag team. And I certainly agree with you in terms of styles. But when it comes to their connection, it's clear these two of the most spite-filled and hateful individuals I've ever had the misfortune to know."
[Mr. Figaro:] "They also BOTH hate pretty things. Which is why they went after Kat and Kim!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And have gone after others who they see as "weak" because of their appearances."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But Kat and Kim are not weak."
[Mr. Clyde:] "Kat has defeated Crimson Mask twice, including in a hardcore match. Kim Cross has beaten Jo Ryder among other greats in the business. We are talking about two wrestlers here who have been the top rising stars of OG-Joshi in the last year or two."
[Mr. Figaro:] "But I'm a little worried, Clyde. Crimson seems more interested in hurting her opponents and making them bleed then beating them. Lori...well no one really KNOWS what she wants cause she got suspended so fast from OG-Joshi that she didn't say. HA!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I share your concerns, but I have confidence that Kat and Kim can -"
*Suddenly, there's a ruckus from the back. We see Kat, Kim, Lori, and Crimson brawling to the stage area. Kim manages to buy herself enough breathing room to shout to Figaro: "The uggos jumped us!"*
[Mr. Figaro:] "THOSE SWINES! They attacked Kat and Kim backstage!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And we have a long way to go until this issue is settled, that is for sure. They are brawling towards the ring. But even though Crimson and Lori jumped Kat and Kim, it appears that no side has the advantage. And we're gonna be starting this match off with a LOT of vitriol on both sides."
[Mr. Figaro:] "STOP USING CRAZY NINJA WORDS!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Let's get to the ring!"
Match #4: Kat Black/Kim Cross vs. Lori Cuozzo/Crimson Mask
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*After the match, Kim and Kat continue to keep their guard up. Crimson Mask merely hisses in pleasure as points to Kim Cross. She then looks at Lori who also seems proud of herself. The two leave the ring without any further attacks as Kat and Kim look on ready to defend further. The ref raises the arms of Kat and Kim even though Lori is motioning that she and Crimson are the "real" winners here.*
Kat/Kim (O) [Kimpaler - 28:15] (X) Crimson/Lori
[Mr. Clyde:] "One of the most brutal tag team matches we've ever seen here on Voltage or even in OG-Joshi. These four women went all out in a very anger-driven and physical affair-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "Wait a minute...is that blood-?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And you gotta believe this isn't the last we're seeing of THIS feud-"
[Mr. Figaro:] "SHES BLEEDING!!!!!! Kim Cross is bleeding!! AHHHH!"
*Mr. Figaro attempts to rush to the ring but Mr. Clyde holds him back*
[Mr. Clyde:] "Listen, what you did at the PPV was admirable and if they are in REAL trouble again like they were that night, I'll even help you and them out. But they have things under control here now. And as much as Kim admires her own looks, she's not the KENTA Army. A little blood doesn't freak Kim out. Remember when Lana broke her nose, Kim just came back stronger from it."
[Mr. Figaro:] "No, but thanks for reminding me!! First you stop me from avenging Kim's beautiful perfect silky skin and now you remind me of Lana breaking Kim's nose! Damn it, Clyde, it's bad enough my KIM-MUFFIN is bleeding, I don't need more reasons for my heart to wail in manly sobs!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Look at the expressions on their faces. Listen to the applause.. "
*Mr. Figaro sits back and does just that as he takes in the HUGE uproarious applause from the fans for a very tired but defiant looking Kat and Kim.*
[Mr. Clyde:] "It's matches like THAT which bring out the warrior spirit in wrestlers. Kat and Kim just fought one of the hardest matches in their careers and WON. They won as a TEAM, no less, with shared principles and resolve. In my book, that is cause for celebration and pride...not wailing, manly sobs..."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And Kim spiked Crimson with that DDT...but why are Lori and Crimson celebrating!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Crimson Mask came to OG-Joshi to make wrestlers BLEED and mess up their appearances. So yes, if she wants to define her goals so narrowly and simplisticallym then she can claim her own victory when she causes blood in an encounter. As for Lori, she likes bullying wrestlers and getting an angry reaction from them. But when all was said and done, Kat and Kim defeated them. It was a close match but a clear victory. However, I don't think Crimson and Lori's mission is over judging by their behavior."
[Mr. Figaro:] "AHH! That makes me so MAD! Kat and Kim were clear winners but Lori and Crimson are marching around triumphant and happy like they own the place!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "I highly doubt that "happy" is part of their personality profiles or desires."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Still, Kat and Kim demand further satisfaction!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Well, we'll have to see about that. For now, YOU demand that satisfaction for them, and I can't say I totally blame you. I think they'd rest easier knowing they not only won this match, but that they silenced and stopped Crimson and Lori's plans and satisfaction here. But until that day is reached, if it ever is, Kat and Kim should be content about their victory tonight."
[Mr. Figaro:] "I am!!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "And that a new wrestler may be joining their cause at the next show."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Really!?"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Whether she will actually return here after all that happened...well that remains to be seen. But General Celes has booked Alicia Gordon against Lori at the next Voltage."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Oh right!! Wow, that's gonna be pretty messed up!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "We don't know the mental condition of Miss Gordon now, but we do know she has been close friends with Kat Black for the last few years. With Alicia covered by the Cease Fire, she will no longer be able to attack Holly without losing her job here. Will that matter to Alicia? Who knows. But if it does, she is left with no one else to face....after she demolishes Sandy Morton that is."
[Mr. Figaro:] "And she could do that ON HER WAY to her match with Lori and not break a sweat!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "So will Alicia return to face Lori and help Kat and Kim? Will she no-show? Or will she have a completely different reason for returning? That is just one issue for the next Voltage. Then there is the match and dangerous situation brewing between Azumi and Juli. We also have Lana facing Haley Cannon in what should be a real physical match between two stoic competitors. And we will also be featuring a tag match between Juli Tanaka and Kaori NiGHT of J*NiGHT vs. the Dods: a match made all the more interesting by the match earlier tonight. So folks, thank you for joining us tonight and we'll see you at the next show."
[Mr. Figaro:] "Hopefully before 2009!"
[Mr. Clyde:] "Yes, that."
*The show ends with a shot of Kat and Kim celebrating in the ring to cheers from their adoring crowd*
*Fin*