Amplitude - March 2008

[OrochiGeese]

*"Mean" Jean Carter opens up the show standing right near the ring. A live audience is behind her*

[MJC:] "Welcome to the first Amplitude of 2008! As you all should be aware of by now, Amplitude has evolved into a show that is MORE then just the secondary show of OG-Joshi! It now represents an entirely self-sufficient roster of wrestlers under the OG-Joshi frilly umbrella, separate from the Voltage roster!"

[MJC:] "So we now have our own LIVE audience! No more dusty studio! No more having to endure sexually harassing statements by cameraman who know they can just edit it out of the taped footage! Now there are repercussions!! Title 9 repercussions!! How do you like THEM apples, Cameraman Bob!"

*MJC composes herself*

[MJC:] "Ahem, so tonight is a big chance for these Amplitude gals and guys..no wait, just gals... to show what they can do! In fact, tonight is the first chance for one much touted new addition to the roster to show what she can do. But before we get into any of that, let's list the match card for tonight!"

*A graphic comes on the Amplitron (its the Orochi-Tron with an Amplitude orange border*


- Lina vs. Lisa Robinson
- Naomi vs. Patty Sirloin
- Reed Sisters vs. Yoyo Banzai/Darkness Diva
- Kristin Blade vs. Sandy Morton


[MJC:] "Yes, debuting tonight on OG-Joshi Amplitude is Lynn Malloy. She comes to us from the Sierra Wrestling All-Stars (SWA) promotion where she is a former tag team and current "Aftermath" Champion: A championship which I have been reassured is NOT a time-traveling title! Tonight Lynn, or "Lina" as she likes to be called, faces an OG-Joshi veteran who desires to make the most of this roster split by standing out on Amplitude. She is part of the Fatman-Ryuu group, Lisa Robinson! We know that Lisa is quite adept at fist-a-cuffs and I've heard that Lina is no stranger to them either. So this should be an explosive match!"

*Lisa Robinson comes to the ring and begins stretching out. She gets a fairly large ovation as we see a lot of people wearing "Fatman-Pro Wres" and "PTFW" jerseys. "Step Up" by Drowning Pool hits the speakers as a woman in a hooded sweatshirt walks to the ring with her head down. As she approaches the ring, she takes her hooded sweatshirt off, revealing a head of dark red hair, and throws it (the sweatshirt, not the hair) into the crowd. Of note is that one corner of the crowd went absolutely BALLISTIC for this entrance and some even went as far as to run into the section of the crowd that the sweatshirt was thrown into! One "lucky" fan was promptly ejected but seemed thrilled to have even TOUCHED the sweatshirt.*


Match #1: Lisa Robinson vs. Lina

This match started off calmly but turned into a brawl within minutes of them locking up. Lisa took exception to Lina backing her up against the turnbuckles and not breaking the hold as soon as the ref (Fry) tried to break them up. So Lisa fired back with a punch right to Lina's face. Lina took exception to THAT and responded with an even stronger punch to Lisa's face! From that point forwards, any semblance of wrestling was thrown out the window. Lina's previous upbeat personality became fiery and Lisa's usually rational demeanor transformed into actions that resembled her brother Stuart. In other words, FOOTBALL RIOT-ready. And the two had AT IT with an exchange of punches. Amazingly, neither of them budged! And the fans were eating this up, especially those in the aforementioned "Lina" section.

And she did them proud by gaining the advantage in this exchange. After Lina hit an uncommonly hard punch to Lisa's jaw, Lisa was stunned for a moment. This caused her to telegraph (following the standard morse code procedures STOP) her OWN haymaker punch so much so that Lina was able to duck under it, lift her Lisa by the legs, and then slam her down onto the mat. From that point forwards, it was basically all Lina. Despite starting this match off as a brawler, she now began to showcase some of her other abilities as she utilized side slams and even a few dropkicks. Lisa finally got a measure of control back when she held onto the ropes after an irish whip, leaving Lina to whiff on her attempt at hitting a second dropkick. Lisa quickly tried to roll the downed Lina up, but Lina kicked out at 2. Lisa then took out her famous fork but after just one "forking", Lina laughed out loud and headbutted Lisa. This put Lisa out on her feet, and Lina capitalized with a DDT. She then began clapping, getting the fans to follow suit. She ran the ropes and hit a diving fist drop on the prone Lisa, and then followed up with a pin for the 3-count.

Lisa Robinson (X) ["Metal Drop" - 12:55] (O) Lina


[MJC:] "Next we have a match between KENTA! Army member Naomi and ugh, do I really have to say it..."All Beef," *MJC gags* blech, Patty Sirloin. The only thing that makes me more queezy then saying "All Beef" is realizing how much Mr. Figaro likes to hear it. But this should be an interesting match pitting Naomi's speed and SPIRIT against Patty's raw power and. Can Naomi win for KENTA or will Patty EAT Naomi!?"


Match #2: Naomi vs. Patty Sirloin

Patty started the match by attempting to brawl with the diminutive Naomi but Naomi quickly freaked out and ran out of the ring. This only angered Patty who proceeded to chase her around the ring, into the ring....and then back outside the ring. Luckily for Naomi, Patty finally had to stop and catch her breath. Naomi attempted to hit a plancha on Patty...not realizing that a tired Patty is still a STRONG one. Patty caught her in midair and SLAMMED her down onto the arena floor with a powerslam. This was pretty much the point where Naomi's (charitably) "slim" chance of winning turned to null.

However, Patty enjoys playing with her food. So, after dragging Naomi back into the ring, Patty threw her around in a fashion that Shino would likely deem embarrassing to Naomi and the KENTA! Army cause. After finally tenderizing Naomi to the point of easy consumption, Patty applied an Iron Claw. Naomi did her best to try and fight it and even grabbed the ropes. But Patty tore apart Naomi's tenuous grasp by lifting her in the air and then driving her down with an Iron Claw Slam for the 3 count.


Naomi (X) [Iron Claw Slam - 9:30] (O) Patty Sirloin


[MJC:] "Ouch. Poor Naomi. Whether that match was one-sided because she was inherently outmatched by Patty or because of Shino's forced three month in-ring "break" for KENTA! Army, it was pretty nasty. And as bad as that beating was, I bet she'll catch even more hell backstage from Shino."

[MJC:] "Now we have our first tag match of the new Amplitude. General Celes stipulated that wrestlers from both Voltage and Amplitude can compete for the OG-Joshi Tag Championships, recently won by J*NiGHT. If a team impresses Celes, then they will get a shot at the Tag Titles on their native show or on a PPV. The Reed Sisters have been trying to get some momentum in OG-Joshi and managed to do so against Kat Black and Kim Cross during a late 2007 Voltage. Meanwhile, DARKNESS Diva and Yoyo have tried their best to disrupt OG-Joshi for their own personal amusement. Can Diva and Yoyo play "spoiler" to the Reed Sisters hopes of title contention!? Or will the Reed's get into a rhythm of victory! Get it, "rhythm"...cause the Reed Sisters have names based on music and stuff? Ahh shucks, let's just get to the match!"


Match #3: Reed Sisters vs. Yoyo Banzai/Darkness Diva

This match started off with a very fast pace between Harmony and Diva. But the difference was Harmony's striking ability, particularly her aerial kicks, which sent Diva running to tag Yoyo. The two utilized teamwork to neutralize Harmony's speed and kept her grounded long enough for Yoyo to take control. Finally, despite Yoyo's attempts to keep Harmony on the ground with various leg submissions, Harmony was able to quickly reverse one into a flash pin. It was only for a 2 count and Harmony was still in trouble but Yoyo got so irritated that she began getting careless with her attacks. After Harmony goaded her into attempting a busaiku knee, Harmony ducked it and rolled over to her side of the ring where she tagged in Melody. Melody immediately took the match back to the ground as she had the edge in mat wrestling over Yoyo. Yoyo, still frustrated from her exchanges with Harmony, hit a desperation headbutt catching Melody right in the chin. This freed her from Melody for a few moments, allowing Yoyo to tag to Diva.

But that headbutt served to anger Melody and she took it out on her new opponent. But, unlike Yoyo, Melody was able to keep her concentration and not get overly emotional or careless. And a focused Melody just well may be one of the most potent things on the Amplitude roster right now. As she showed off her ground game in a way we haven't fully seen from her yet. We've gotten previews but it wasn't clear until now that this woman is a virtuoso on the mat. Diva didn't even know what parts of her were being twisted by Melody for at least 30 seconds! All Diva could do was shake her body to try to get loose from what seemed to be about 5 simultaneous submissions at once!! Luckily for her, Yoyo ran in and kicked the back of Melody's head to free Diva. This brought in an angry Harmony who flew through the air with a running dropkick, knocking Yoyo out of the ring! Melody and Harmony teamed up for a well-crafted double team maneuver against Diva. Melody held Diva from behind as Harmony ran the ropes and then connected with running dropkick to Diva right as Melody pulled her into a back roll prawn hold for a 3 count.


Harmony/Melody Reed (O) ["Duet" - 11:30] (X) DARKNESS Diva/Yoyo Banzai


*We go backstage to one of the many winding hallways of the Peter Venkman Memorial arena. We hear a light sobbing around one of the corners and the cameraman approaches to find Naomi of KENTA! Army with her hands buried in her hands as she leans against the wall*

[Naomi:] "KENTA MUST BE SO ASHAMED OF ME!"

*Naomi continues crying and speaking jibberish when Tigress Mask happens to approach the area. She pauses, looking at Naomi and places a hand calmly on Naomi's shoulder*

[Tigress:] It's ok, tell me what's bothering you."

[Naomi:] "I FEEL SO USERESS IN THE LING! I ARWAYS ROOSE, MISS TIGLESS!"

[Tigress:] "That's ok, everyone loses matches sometimes. You've just got to have faith that you'll come into your own, and then you'll be winning matches with out any problem."

[Naomi:] "THANK YOU FOR ADVICE! MAYBE ONE DAY I HONOR YOU RIKE I TRY TO HONOR KENTA! BUT FOR NOW IM TOO SAD!! SAD CAUSE I ARWAYS ROOSE!! WAHHHHHH!!"

*Naomi goes from crying to "anime running speed" in under 2 seconds flat. Tigress looks concerned but doesn't follow, electing instead to contemplate what just happened*


[MJC:] "Ok that was weird!! Poor Naomi!! That girl tries so hard but she is so sensitive. That was nice of Tigress to try and help though!! Whether it did any good is a question best left for the future!"

[MJC:] "Cause it is NOW time for the main event! Kristin Blade joined the OG-Joshi roster last year and got a few impressive victories, including a very gusty performance during the "New wrestler" Battle Royal at Limit Break. But due to the sheer magnitude of the roster, Kristin was having trouble getting booked. In fact, Amplitude was re-designed with wrestlers like HER in mind. In fact, Celes was so interested in giving her a chance to further show her stuff, that Celes gave her the main event spot tonight."

[MJC:] "Naturally, it's not JUST Kristin in the main event. While there is a group of fans that would LOVE to watch her 'wrestle herself', they are not being catered to by OG-Joshi management! OG-Joshi is about competition!! Which is why some of you may be surprised as to why Kristin's opponent is none other then Sandy Morton. Yes, Celes has intended this match to be the start of Sandy's "Punishment match" series due to Sandy's role in the crippling of Dizzy at the 4 year Anniversary PPV. But with Sandy having, allegedly, been training with Holly, she may even surprise Kristin with her abilities. Also of note is that Sandy's old friend, Linda Parker, is going to be at ringside with her to watch her back. That is to ensure that Sandy does not get attacked by Alicia Gordon or anyone else seeking to avenge Dizzy's injuries. While I doubt Linda would be able to handle 2 seconds of an Alicia onslaught, she could at least warn Sandy to run!"

[MJC:] "But hopefully Kristin will have the chance to show everyone what she is capable of here tonight without any interference. As for Sandy, don't trip on the way down the ramp, hun!"

*Sandy almost does just that during her entrance, but Linda Parker catches her. Both of them, newly rechristened as "Lethally Blonde", saunter down to the ring with arrogant looks on their faces. Linda even confiscated the camera of a fan claiming that the fan was going to sell "hawt pics" of her on the internet. When the girls finally got to the ring, they executed some pose that was similar to the old Steiner Brother one but more suggestive. (think Linda Parker on "all fours" and Sandy "riding her" for a few seconds). Some fans ate it up, other vomited about a week's worth of food. Shortly thereafter, Kristin Blade made her entrance and got a nice show of fan support (read: No vomiting). She marched down to the ring and began doing light warm-up exercises. Linda marched right up to her and chided her for "breaking a sweat" but Kristin rolled her eyes in response. However, the distraction allowed Sandy to attack from behind!*


Match #4: Kristin Blade vs. Sandy Morton

Someone is gonna have to tell Sandy that if she has the nerve to attack someone from behind, she had better make it COUNT! Or else she'll be left with a very angry and still standing opponent! And that's just what happened here. Sandy's odd "slap freakout" offense didn't do much to Kristin early on or throughout the match. Instead we were treated to a wrestling CLINIC hosted by Kristin Blade (as opposed to the USUAL type of clinic Sandy Morton usually visits). Sandy was no match for the speed or technical skill of Kristin. And it's a wonder Sandy was even able to kick out of the many flash pins AS it was. Luckily for Sandy, Linda interfered liberally, getting the attention of ref Coach McGuirk by flashing him until he finally just got NUMB to it and went back to the match. By that point, Kristin had pretty much wrestled LITERAL circles around Sandy...causing her to have the pro wrestling equivalent of Street Fighter "stunned stars". Kristin wasted no time in putting her away with a hurracarrana followed by a la majistral for the easy 3.


Kristin Blade (O) ["La Majistral" - 7:15] (X) Sandy Morton


*Afterwards Linda Parker complained that Kristin's moves were illegal cause they, and I quote, "Held Sandy down on the mat for 3 seconds". The ref couldn't even fathom what to say in response so he just shrugged his shoulders, took one more look at her chest, and left.*

[MJC:] "Wow, did Linda just get angry that Kristin won by wrestling? That girl isn't quite on the fast track to a pro wrestling education!! I think Holly needs to assign both her and Sandy some more homework. But, to further extend this tired analogy, we got to see that Kristin Blade has a Masters in this field and got the easy victory. I gotta say, that girl moved so fluidly and energetically, kinda reminds me of how Dizzy used to shoot around that ring. *MJC's voice cracks a bit and she gets silent before re-composing herself*

[MJC:] "And it looks like Amplitude has come to a close for tonight! The next edition will be coming to you after Voltage does its thing later this month. So for all of the Amped wrestlers in the back, this is "Mean" Jean Carter advising that you should always butter your bread BEFORE you eat it, not after! Bye guys!"

*Fin*

[OrochiGeese]

Bumping this to top of Special Events thread to provide SOME measure of "most recent show"