4/9/06 Voltage

[OrochiGeese]

Mr. Clyde: "Welcome to yet another episode of Voltage."

Mr. Figaro: "Action packed episode, Clyde, action packed!"

Mr. Clyde: "We'll let the fans decide that for themselves."

Mr. Figaro: "Fine, fine, but vote yes on Proposition 55!"

Mr. Clyde: "And that would be..."

Mr. Figaro: "Free adult entertainment media for wrestling
commentators! C'mon, its only fair!"

Mr. Clyde: "We have a lot to get to tonight, Figaro...."

Mr. Figaro: "Including wishing Kat Black a Happy Birth..."

MR. Clyde: "Um, that was LAST month. Don't you remember?
You already sang her a birthday song."

Mr. Figaro: "But it says here in the script..."


Mr. Clyde *whispers* "That's the script from LAST Voltage!"


Mr. Figaro: "Oh...uh...and you're sure I sang her a song?"

Mr. Clyde: "You sang her a song with a dirty punchline."

Mr. Figaro: "Come now...that's not something I'd do!
I don't even remember being there! This
this is all a conspiracy! To stop Kat
from celebrating her birthday! I won't
let them get to you Kat, I won't let them
get to you! Meet me after the show and
we'll get to the bottom of all this!
And wear something hot so we can REALLY
get to the bottom of you..um...things.."

Mr. Clyde: "Kat Black IS here tonight and will be
in the main event of the show. But for
now, we have the first match of the night."


Mr. Figaro: "I...I don't know what it is, I don't
have the right scrip..."

Mr. Clyde: "Damn it...it's Kim Cross vs. Lisa Robinson."

Mr. Figaro: "Can I look on with you?"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes, until the break and hopefully someone
from the back can photocopy the notes for you."

Mr. Figaro: "Is that going to taken out of my salary?"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's move on please."

Mr. Figaro: "You didn't say no! Is that gonna be taken
out of my salary!? Oh no!"


Mr. Clyde: "Tonight is the official OG-Joshi in ring
debut for Kim Cross and we are all looking
forward to seeing what she can do."


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Mr. Figaro: "Hopefully she can spot me for photocopy costs!"

Mr. Clyde: "Then I suggest you root for her winning."

Mr. Figaro: "Ok! Go Kim Cross, win, win, win! Go Kim
Cross, win win win! Do it for Figaro!"

Mr. Clyde: "Kim Cross is going to be going against Lisa
Robinson who looked very impressive in her
Emergence: Evolution match against Yoyo
Banzai. Though she fell just short of
victory, she certainly put on a great
effort and got a share of revenge against
Yoyo. We'll see if Lisa can keep her
focus against the newcomer Kim."

Mr. Figaro: "I tried to focus on Kim, but I'm not
sure she was...um, attentive."

Mr. Clyde: "Hopefully it stays that way."

Mr. Figaro: "Well I'm a giving person, so I'll give
Kim another chance to get down wit
the Fig man. Ahhh yeahhhhh."

Mr. Clyde: "I'm...I'm sure she'll take that into
heavy consideration... but for now,
let's see what she can do in the ring."




Kim Cross vs. Lisa Robinson





*POST MATCH SPOILERS*















































Mr. Clyde: "And a very impressive debut match for
Kim Cross. As she picks up a victory
against Lisa Robinson with a great
looking german suplex."


Mr. Figaro: "Lisa really brought the fight in
this match, just like in her last
one, but she couldn't put Kim away."


Mr. Clyde: "Kim Cross was very resilient in that
match and was also very aggressive
when she needed to be.."


Mr. Figaro: "I'm SHOCKED that sweet little Kim
tried to use a chair against Lisa!"


Mr. Clyde: "Um...if you were paying attention
to...the match itself rather then
their bodies, you would have seen
that Lisa actually had the chai..."

Mr. Figaro: "SHOCKED AND APPALLED!! And so
tremendously turned on!!!"


Mr. Clyde: "What impressed me about Kim's
performance is her range of
skill. She looked as comfortable
brawling as she did using mat
wrestling and suplexes. We all
know that the key to success of
all the top OG-Joshi wrestlers
is having a big well of offence
to dip into when needed."

Mr. Figaro: "Dude...did you just say Kim has
a "big well?" Are you tapping that?"

Mr. Clyde: "I have no idea what you are
talking about. I was referring
to the wide range of offensive
maneuvers Kim is equipped with."

Mr. Figaro: "You're no fun, Clyde!"

Mr. Clyde: "An excellent first match for Kim
and a strong effort for Lisa.
I enjoyed that match very much."

Mr. Figaro: "Bah...needed more whipped cream."

Mr. Clyde: "I'll be sure to ask Goose to
take you for an ice cream sundae
when the show is over if that
is what you would like."


Mr. Figaro: "I'll be good! I'll be good!"










*END POST MATCH SPOILERS AND GOOSE-RELATED THREATS*








*"Fields of Fantasy" hit the house speakers as General
Celes makes her way to the ring, microphone in hand."




General Celes: "Greetings OG-FPD and loyal fans. I have
two announcements to make and then I will
let you all get back to the wrestling action."


Celes: "First. On behalf of OG-Joshi and OrochiGeese
himself, I would like to congratulate Miss
Diane Cavuto and Kaori NiGHT on making it
to the finals of the Evo.R Tournament. Over
the week span of the Emergence: Evolution
and Revolution tournament, they both made
it past some very tough competition. They
have earned the right to face off against
each other in a match representing OG-Joshi
at the Evo.R super event on April 20th. We
know that they will both do us proud and
will put on the match of the show."

Celes: "Now, my second announcement pertains to
matters more local to us: The OG-Joshi
World Championship. Everyone in OG-Joshi
has been striving to face Haley Cannon
for a title shot. The truth is that there
are so many credible contenders right now."

Celes: "So at Voltage on Sunday, April 23rd, we
will be holding an 8 woman Battle Royale.
The winner of that match will be declared
the new #1 Contender and will be given
a Title Shot at the next OG-Joshi PPV
which is scheduled for Sunday, July 30th.

Celes: "I will now announce the 8 women who have
earned their way into this Battle Royale."

Celes: "Patty Sirloin, Azumi Oonishi, Kaori NiGHT,
Diane Cavuto, Yoyo Banzai, Visper Karr,
Tigress Mask, and yes...even Holly."

Mr. Figaro: "YEA PATTY!"

Celes: "I expect all of the 8 competitors chosen
to be fully ready to earn their shot at the
OG-Joshi World Title during this Battle
Royale and believe that any one of them
would make a great challenge for the
current champion, Haley Cannon."

Celes: "Now...with my announcements completed,
I will go back and let you all enjoy
the rest of the show..."


(OG-FPD stuff commences)


*Advertisements for the Spring re-opening of Orochi-O's Land!*




Mr. Figaro: "Wow! General Celes made some huge announcements!"


Mr. Clyde: "Both for OG-FPD and OG-Joshi. She just signed
an ECW Title Match for the PPV. AND a huge
Battle Royale to decide the next #1 Contender
to the OG-Joshi World Championship."

Mr. Figaro: "And what a list of competitors in that match!
Not to mention all the wrestlers there that
hate each other! As well as many first
encounters inside an OG-Joshi ring between
many of the wrestlers. Holly and Kaori
NiGHT, Dizzy and Jenny McLanahan, Patty
Sirloin and Yoyo Banzai! So many interesting
matchups can result in a Battle Royale!"

Mr. Clyde: "It's also the kind of match where anyone
who has taken on more then they can chew,
might be punished for some of the comments
they've made in the past. Women like Holly
who have declared open insult and attack
season on all the other wrestlers, might
find herself in a bit of an unfriendly
and hostile environment for a change."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah, Holly in a hostile environment,
'for a change'. That's new!"

Mr. Clyde: "I can see the sarcasm actually zigzagging
over your head, stopping for a drink,
and then doing a figure 8."

Mr. Figaro: "Figaro 8?"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's get to our next match."

Mr. Figaro: "What the hell is a Figaro 8? Can Patty join in?"

*Mr. Clyde clears his throat to refocus things*


Mr. Clyde: "OG-Joshi saw Lana make a very impressive
debut during the last Voltage as she beat
fellow brawler, Lisa Robinson."

Mr. Figaro: "Lana brought the brawl! BRAWL BRINGER!"

Mr. Clyde: "Tonight Lana faces off against Diva
Dynamite, who is hopefully a bit more
emotionally stable then the previous
time we heard from her.


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Mr. Figaro: "That was funny..."

Mr. Clyde: "Tonight we will see what kind of test
Diva will be for Lana. Lana has made
it very clear that she is quite focused
in OG-Joshi. I am anxious to see what.."

Mr. Figaro: "Dude...do you know who Lana is friends with?"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes...and I'm the one that alerted Holly
to that fact. And maybe that wasn't
such a good idea based on what happened.



p201.ezboard.com/fogfpdjoshifrm7.showMessage?topicID=109.topic



Mr. Figaro: "But Lana has to be focused on Diva tonight
as well as her first match with another
newcomer, Kim Cross, next show. And we
have already seen tonight what Kim can do!"

Mr. Clyde: "And those two will face off next show."

Mr. Figaro: "I already said that Clyde, geez! Stop
trying to steal my bit! Thief! Thief!"

Mr. Clyde: "Well, I am a ninja..."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah, but stealing was Locke's bit!
Stop stealing his bit too! Thief!! Thief!"

Mr. Clyde: "Be that as it may, we have a match to
get to. Lana now faces off with
Diva Dynamite, so let's get to it."




Lana vs. Diva Dynamite






*POST MATCH SPOILERS*





































Mr. Figaro: "BAH GAWD STONE COL.."


Mr. Clyde: "Stop right there."


Mr. Figaro: "What I meant to say was...very impressive
victory for Lana! BAH GAWD LANA!"


Mr. Clyde: "A very impressive match for both women."


Mr. Figaro: "I guess they can both go 20 minutes of
action...and damned if i don't like that!"


Mr. Clyde: "Diva was indeed a big test for Lana. Diva
also showed that she has pulled herself
together enough to be a serious threat
in the ring. But Lana showed that she
is even more of a threat as she punched
Diva enough to knock her senseless and
pick up the win after a grueling battle."


Mr. Figaro: "They both brought it and you could tell
they were feeling the effects and fatigue
during the match. But Lana proved to want
victory more and used her last ounces
of energy to punch Diva out."


Mr. Clyde: "I'm looking forward to next show's match
between Lana and Kim Cross."


Mr. Figaro: "They both got back...um, they both
have the backing of many of their fans!"


Mr. Clyde: "..."








*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*




Mr. Clyde: "Speaking of creativity, and doing my
best to steer the conversation away
from your madness, we have a very creative
match coming to you as the main event."


Mr. Figaro: "What? Oh please say its a "Tadpole
on hot coal" match with me vs.
Frog Jones? PLEASSSSE!"


Mr. Clyde: "...not tonight. But we do have Kat
Black defending against an opponent
that no one but her and General
Celes know the identity of. But
Celes did tell me that this opponent...


Mr. Figaro: "Drumroll please...b-b-b-b-b-bah!"


Mr. Clyde: "Is not an OG-Joshi wrestler."


Mr. Figaro: "OMG! Inter-fed match!? Cool! Who
is it? Twinky McLanahan? Spunk?
Rufus Funkerdale!?! Johnny Bingo!?


Mr. Clyde: "None of them are females...you'd
think we'd at least get a female
wrestler to face Kat, not one
of the male legends you mentioned."

Mr. Figaro: "Fine...fine! Is it..."


Mr. Clyde: "She's from Los Angeles Women's
Lucha and is a long time 1337
Champion. A great wrestler by
the name of...Lucky Lupe."


Mr. Figaro: "BAH GAWD! DREAM MATCH! Lucky
Lupe vs. Kat Black! We have a
LAWLER in the building!! Did
we...uh...properly fumigate her?"


Mr. Clyde: "She doesn't smell. And she is
one of the more serious LAWL
wrestlers when it comes to
in ring action. General Celes
and Gloria Reyes have worked
out a contract in the past
where there will be some
interbrand OG-Joshi vs. LAWL
matches and this is the first
of the series. We look forward
to seeing Kat Black represent
OG-Joshi against one of the
LAWL greats. Kat has been
undefeated so far in her
young OG-Joshi career. And
Lucky is coming off a tough
loss to the new LAWL 1337
Champion, Grace Reyes. But
that was a match that many
have pointed to as the best
LAWL match of 2006. So Lucky
is not one to be taken lightly."


Mr. Figaro: "Holly will not be happy to
have LAWLers on our soil."

Mr. Clyde: "She's taken up gardening?"

Mr. Figaro: "Was that an actual joke from you?"

Mr. Clyde: "No..i just thought gardening might
relax Holly a bit. She's got a lot
of rage, you know."


Mr. Figaro: "I SWEAR you just tried to make a
joke for our April Fools show,
I swear!! It wasn't bad Clyde,
really! You just gotta be more
natural in your delivery...act
like you're the only one in
the room that matters so everyone
else HAS to laugh. That's why
I'm the best joketeller in the world!"


Mr. Clyde: "Let's just get to the match..."


Mr. Figaro: "ok, ok..."


*Mr. Clyde whispers to Mr. Figaro*

Mr. Clyde: "It wasn't bad though, right?"

*Mr. Figaro gives a hearty thumbs up*





Match #4: INTERBRAND WARFARE OF MUTUAL RESPECT!



Kat Black vs. Lucky Lupe






*POST MATCH SPOILAWLERS* (hey, this match IS half-LAWL!)










Mr. Clyde: "Never allow spoiLAWLers on a Voltage again."

Mr. Figaro: "Relax...all the kids are doing it!"


Mr. Clyde: "That doesn't make it rig...wait? All the
kids are doing WHAT?"

Mr. Figaro: "Uhh...it's just a phrase."

Mr. Clyde: "Ok, if it doesn't mean anything, why'd
you use it..."


*Mr. Figaro thinks, then smiles and sticks out his tongue*


Mr. Figaro: "Cause...All the kids are doing it!"












*REAL POST MATCH SPOILERS*

























Mr. Clyde: "And we just had a fantastic start
to the OG-Joshi/LAWL matches."


Mr. Figaro: "Fantastic because OG-Joshi won!"


Mr. Clyde: "Well, that AND the fact that the
match was competitive and exciting.
Both women gave it their all in
representing their feds and
themselves. We applaud LAWL
for sending such a great wrestler
to represent them."

Mr. Figaro: "Honestly, despite her, um, crazy
"attire", Lucky was pretty good
out there. Very experienced."


Mr. Clyde: "Lucky Lupe is one of the most
experienced LAWL wrestlers and
has been with them perhaps the
longest out of all their now
active competitors."


Mr. Figaro: "But she could not head off the
momentum of Kat Black, one of
the newest additions to the
OG-Joshi roster, despite her
long time experience in the
Dragon Isle Joshi Pro Wrestling
fed where she came to us from."


Mr. Clyde: "This was an excellent mix of
styles between the two women.
Both bring a very fast paced,
aerial based assault and it
made for a high energy match."

Mr. Figaro: "What made the difference in
the attaining the victory was
the differences between the
two. Kat Black, in addition to
her aerial skills, is VERY adept
at ground submissions. Lupe did
not seem to have an answer to
Kat's ground technique."

Mr. Clyde: "Although Lupe was able to
withstand Kat's "Fade to
Black" STF...she was not
able to fight off or resist
the "Kataclysm. knee hold."


Mr. Figaro: "And that goes back to what we
have observed with Kat. She can
beat her opponents in SO many ways.
She has won with quick pins out
of nowhere as well as submissions.
She is mighty adept and versatile
in that ring, just as we discussed
about Kim Cross earlier tonight."


Mr. Clyde: "Kat's ground experience was the
decisive factor in this match. I
sure hope we get to see these two
face off again though. But for now,
Kat adds another big victory to
her resume here. And considering
this was the first OG-Joshi vs. LAWL
match and Kat won it for us, that
is truly a VERY big victory for her."


Mr. Figaro: "And for us! Gooooo OG-Joshi!"






*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*









Mr. Clyde: "The next Voltage will take place in two
weeks on Sunday, April 23rd. We have
a big card for you with the OG-Joshi
#1 Contenders Battle Royale, along with
Lana vs. Kim Cross. Join us in two weeks."


Mr. Figaro: "And happy late April Fools everyone!
Remember kids to check your candy when..."

Mr. Clyde: "I think thats Halloween."


Mr. Figaro: "So you're saying they shouldn't check
their candy!? You monster!"


Mr. Clyde: "See you in two weeks folks...and don't
take candy from Mr. Figaro...it probably
has too much sugar if he has it."


Mr. Figaro: "Whhwhat do you mean? I dontdont have
too muchsugar!! Take that back!!"


Mr. Clyde: "Sure...sure..."




*End of 4/9/06 Voltage...you can, uh, go home now. No
seriously. You don't have to go home, but you can't
stay here, all right? Go visit other intraweb places.*