9/17/06 Voltage

[OrochiGeese]

Mr. Figaro: "Welcome to the season premiere of..."

Mr. Clyde: "What? This isn't the season premiere.
We don't have "real" seasons with Voltage..."

Mr. Figaro: "Shhh, Clyde, it's "sweeps week!" We have
to make a good impression and compete with
'Someday Night' Fantasy Football!"

Mr. Clyde: "I don't think we have to do that at all."

Mr. Figaro: "Either we get the cheerleaders or they
do and I'll be damned if we give up
our patriotic right to win cheerleaders!
Don't be a freedom hater, Clyde!!"

Mr. Clyde: "Uh, we have a big show for you all tonight,
4 big matches including a Domination
Title match. On the Joshi side, we have
the first official match of the OG-Joshi
Tag Team Title Tournament as well as the
much anticipated debut of Lori Cuozzo."

Mr. Figaro: "And we have ME scheduled to crush some
stupid Chuck Liddell fan! But I'm more
excited to watch some hawt Joshi action
as well as to see Domination Champion
Dean Malenko square off against US
Champion, Yoshihiro Tajiri! That
should be a very competitive match!"

Mr. Clyde: "And we are getting word that Dean Malenko
is now actually being confronted backstage."


(Backstage OG-FPD segment)


Mr. Figaro: "Right, Clyde, Right. But let's
just try to settle down and
get ready for our first match."

Mr. Clyde: "Good idea. As it is now time
for the debut of Lori Cuozzo."

Mr. Figaro: "Wow, you calmed down pretty fast!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ninja here..."

Mr. Figaro: "Good point."

Mr. Clyde: "Lori Cuozzo is coming to OG-Joshi after
she got unceremoniously removed from
her prior sport: roller derby. For
a full account of the dismissal in
her own words, you can listen here:


p201.ezboard.com/fogfpdjoshifrm7.showMessage?topicID=177.topic


Mr. Figaro: "She...she calls herself the "Scream Queen?"
Oh man...that's beyond hot. Hey Lori,
ever do it on roller skates? Gonna
"call me the master as I make us
roll faster?" Yeah, you like that!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ugh...how did you just come up
with that assault on decency so fast?"

Mr. Figaro: "Practice, practice, practice."

Mr. Clyde: "In any case, Lori has come to OG-Joshi
with something to prove, namely that
she is BETTER then any pro wrestler.
Sadly, OG-Joshi's "first line of
defense" for the pro wrestling cause
is not exactly someone that even
REMOTELY represents pro wrestling."

Mr. Figaro: "Grimace from McDonalds?"

Mr. Clyde: "Not even close."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah, he's got a great McRib-breaker."

Mr. Clyde: "I'm talking about someone cheaper
then a Value Meal item: Sandy Morton."

Mr. Figaro: "OH @#%$! Clyde! You just TORCHED her ass!"

Mr. Clyde: "I think her ass feels like its on
fire for OTHER unhealthy reasons."

Mr. Figaro: "OH SNAP!! Drop the disses like they're
hot! "Sandy Morton's mom is SO fat..."

Mr. Clyde: "Huh?"

Mr. Figaro: "Her mom is SO fat that when she tries
to eat a sandwich, she eats TWO of them!"

Mr. Clyde: "I think I did a better job then you did."

Mr. Figaro: "Probably cause you're all mad at Benoit!"

Mr. Clyde: "..."

Mr. Figaro: "Anyway! Lori Cuozzo will be facing off
with someone who is one loss away from
having the worst losing streak in
OG-Joshi history, Sandy Morton! Sandy
has lost overwhelmingly to both Alicia
Gordon and Angelica Hyde in the last
month. Both of those delicious wrestlers
beat Sandy quickly and yet STILL had time
to play around and test if Sandy had any
REAL offence. Sandy did not have such offence."

Mr. Clyde: "From what Lori Cuozzo said, it seems
as if Lori will be testing Sandy as
well. Sandy doesn't seem like the
type who passed too many tests..."

Mr. Figaro: "Clyde, you are SO going on the 'Battle
Rap' show circuit...you already got the
mad insult skillz, i just gottsta
teach you to 'street rhyme' and
add a 'z' to the end of your name. How
does "The Ferociouz Ninja Clydez sound?"

Mr. Clyde: "No."

Mr. Figaro: "Now you say something that RHYMES with "no"

Mr. Clyde: "No."

Mr. Figaro: "YES!! Perfect!"

Mr. Clyde: "Go."

Mr. Figaro: "Even better!! Ferociouz Clydez gotz skillz!"

Mr. Clyde: "Lori Cuozzo appears to be a very strong
woman and will probably have little
problem throwing Sandy around. The
question is whether or not Sandy will
have a speed advantage. Lori must
be used to her roller skates which she
does not have the luxury of in OG-Joshi."

Mr. Figaro: "I'm pretty sure Lori could be fast asleep
in a burlap sack and STILL be stronger
and faster then Sandy Morton."

Mr. Clyde: "Good point. Let's get to the match
and get our first glimpse of the
fighting ability of Lori Cuozzo."



Match #1: Lori Cuozzo vs. Sandy Morton




Figaro's corner: "Hey! Why the heck didn't I get these
last week!?"

Clyde's rebuttal: "Last week wasn't a Voltage...and
you certainly had enough to say
at that show ANYWAY.."

Figaro: "Fine, fine...well, uh..."

Clyde: "Now that you have your "little corner"
back, you don't have anything to say?"

Figaro: "Boobies!"

Clyde: "Touche."

Figaro: "That too! Gotta love a great ass!"

Clyde: "Ugh..."


*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*




Mr. Clyde: "Well we learned a few things in that match.
Number 1: Why they call Lori Cuozzo the
"Scream Queen". And number 2: That even
when someone doesn't TRY to pin Sandy
Morton right away, she STILL is useless."

Mr. Figaro: "Lori Cuozzo just ran over Sandy Morton in
that ring. And it appeared Lori seemed
to enjoy taking her time in beating up
Sandy, as well, perhaps trying to send
a message to OG-Joshi about Lori's
dominance over pro wrestlers. Sandy
was not made quick work of in this
match but was easily beaten on for almost
twenty minutes. Even when Lori seemed
to intentionally allow Sandy to attack
her, it had no effect on Lori. And
not just cause Sandy is incompetent,
but because Lori is one hell of a tough
woman inside and outside of that ring."

Mr. Clyde: "Lori finished Sandy off with the "Roller
Bomb", which is her finisher. And she
softened up Sandy in what looked like
a ritual punishment for the entire match.
Angelica Hyde and Alicia Gordon aimed
to make quick work of Sandy, but Lori
was visibly having fun by slowly
dissecting Sandy in this match."

Mr. Figaro: "Hey, why rush a good time!?"

Mr. Clyde: "I've heard it said, especially by
Alicia Gordon, that one does not
want to have prolonged exposure
to Sandy Morton. I guess we will
see how Lori's health fares. I
think she seems powerful enough
to be able to counter any toxins..."

Mr. Figaro: "I...i hope so. I like this Lori Cuozzo,
the "Coose" as she calls herself!!"

Mr. Clyde: "Lori was absolutely dominant in this
match and I might even have to give
her the award of "Most brutal beating
of Sandy Morton." Speaking of awards,
Sandy has now earned the "biggest
loser of OG-Joshi" award after having
lost three straight matches in under a
month...not to mention her failure
to win ANY match since she debuted."

Mr. Figaro: "As for Lori, she impressed the hell
out of me. Solid wrestling talent
and an affinity for grabbing her
opponent from behind that must have
come from her roller derby experience.
Or um...some other experience that
I'd love her to tell me about!"

Mr. Clyde: "Lori Cuozzo has a bright future in
OG-Joshi. But I hope she understands
that her next challenge will be tougher
then Sandy Morton...it has GOT to be
just out of simple probability."

Mr. Figaro: "Can't get much worse then Sandy Morton!"

Mr. Clyde: "And I think one particular person knows that."



*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*



Mr. Figaro: "Wait...huh?"

Mr. Clyde: "Patience..."



*"Fields of Fantasy"* hits the speakers as General Celes
comes out to ringside. She gives a congratulatory nod
to Lori Cuozzo who has made her way to the entrance ramp
Lori gives a "What did you expect?" gesture and walks
backstage. Celes gets into the ring and stares disapprovingly
at Sandy Morton...who is gradually making her way out of
the ring and trying to slowly hobble backstage. Celes
shakes her head in disgust but then changes her expression
to one of calmness and optimism as she faces the crowd.*



General Celes: "I'm out here to make a special announcement.
But I'd like OG-Joshi World Champion, Holly,
to come out to the stage and listen to it.
Holly. I know you're back there as I told
you specifically to attend tonight's show"


*"Kick 'em when he's down" plays as Holly comes out
to the stage to a mixed reaction. She has a big smile
and is polishing her OG-Joshi World Title belt in
one hand as she "strokes" a microphone in her other.*


Holly: "K, *yawns*Celes...you gonna finally
admit to everyone that you're a man?"


Celes: "No such 'admission' would be valid. One
day I do hope you realize the qualities
of a REAL woman. But seeing as that
day will not likely be today, I have
requested your presence for information
that specifically regards you...AND your
partner for the OG-Joshi Tag Title
Tournament. Would you be interested
in such pertinent information?"

Holly: "Yeah, yeah, I know you are gonna try
to screw me...let's hear it already!"

Celes: "I happen to prefer another "sense"
for experiencing the answer to
this situation. Rather then
"hear", wouldn't you rather "see?"


*Celes points to the hobbling woman going up the
ramp as Holly's mouth drops in shock. Yes,
General Celes has pointed to... Sandy Morton*


Holly: "NO!!! YOU BITCH! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!
ANYBODY BUT HER! SHE'S INCOMPETENT! SHE'S
THE WORST WRESTLER IN THE F'N WORLD!!"

*Sandy stops in her tracks and scratches her head
as she has NO idea what's going on at all. Partially
cause she was knocked loopy by Lori's "Roller Bomb"
and partially cause Sandy is usually ignorant. She turns
around to Celes and makes the "huh?" hand gesture.*


Celes: "Miss Morton, you have been selected
to be Holly's partner in the OG-Joshi
Tag Title Tournament. Your participation
is mandatory. I suggest you two begin
working on a game plan, as next Voltage
you will be facing Haley Cannon and
Valeriyah Belikov in a tournament match.
And given what happened to the quality
and prepared team of Jo Ryder and Visper
Karr last week, I do not hold much hope
for you two surviving long in your match.
But I do think you two need to work
together if you hope to survive AT ALL."


*Sandy Morton's face turns pale*


Mr. Figaro: "I guess even Sandy isn't SO stupid that
she fails to realize how much trouble she
is in facing those two opponents!"

Mr. Clyde: "Self preservation instinct is alive in
even the dullest of humans and primates."


*Holly with a look of infernal rage in her eyes gives
Celes the finger, then turns angrily to leave the
arena. Sandy Morton is stopped dead in her tracks
with a total "deer in headlights" look. Celes smiles*


Celes: "I do wish you two the BEST of luck
and think you will make a very complimentary
tag team with each other. You two have more
in common then you can even imagine. So
consider this the start of a very special
friendship...'Whore and Whore Jr."


*Holly storms backstage with Sandy running after
her in total confusion. Celes drops the mic, smiles,
and then exits the arena to the cheers of the crowd*


Mr. Figaro: "Ouch for Holly. Looks like Celes just
revealed her own "ace" and it turned out
to be a "joker card" partner for Holly!"

Mr. Clyde: "For an announcement so new, that was pretty
clever...but I'm assuming you were working
on that from the second Sandy was revealed."

Mr. Figaro: "Nano second, pretty much."

Mr. Clyde: "Well it certainly looks like Holly is
in a worse position then she could
have imagined. She knew Celes would
try to um...'stack the deck' against
her from the moment Holly signed on
to participate in this tournament.
But she had no idea she would be up
against the team she is to face...and
would be forced to team with Sandy. After
all that we have seen from Sandy Morton,
she will be a non factor against the
dominating team of Haley Cannon and
Valeriyah Belikov. In fact..."

Mr. Figaro: "In fact, I dare say that Sandy will
be a DEADWEIGHT for Holly. Holly
might even be better off going it
alone against Haley and Valeriyah!"

Mr. Clyde: "That would be true for any tag team
match between these four...or should
I say "3 and 1/2" wrestlers. But now
there is a special circumstance.
As no doubt Haley Cannon has Holly
in her sights as we heard this weekend."


p201.ezboard.com/fogfpdjoshifrm7.showMessage?topicID=179.topic


Mr. Clyde: "We saw what Haley and Valeriyah were
able to do against Jo and Visper.
They were quite effective against
them, even leading to frustration
after the match between Jo and Visper."


p201.ezboard.com/fogfpdjoshifrm7.showMessage?topicID=178.topic



Mr. Clyde: "Despite any miscommunication in the
match or disagreement among goals,
the fact remains that Jo and Visper
were cleanly beaten by Haley
and Val. Haley and val attacked
Jo's arm in the match and she had
no choice but to tap. How will
Holly, who has nowhere near the
submission experience of Haley,
Val, or Jo, be able to fare against
those two. Granted, we have seen
Holly pull off her own superhuman
feats of submission resistance
against Jo and Haley...but that
was in a triple threat. This tag
match will be a handicap match..."

Mr. Figaro: "With Sandy Morton as the handicap!"

Mr. Clyde: "And instead of Holly having to contend
with two submission experts working
against EACH OTHER as well as against
her, she now has to deal with two
submission experts gunning for her,
while she has no one but Sandy to help."

Mr. Figaro: "Assuming Sandy even lasts longer then
one moment in the ring before getting
tapped out herself. Holly could lose
the match before she even enters the
ring!! And as scary as that sounds,
that could be the BETTER of the most
likely outcomes for Holly!"

Mr. Clyde: "I'm getting word backstage that Holly
is causing quite a ruckus. After she
knocked down several chairs and pushed
various backstage attendants...she then
grabbed Sandy Morton by the "scruff of
her neck" and left the building with her.
I'm not sure a "Morton-napping" will
make the news, and Sandy didn't protest
leaving, but it looks like Holly
is taking matters into her own hands.
She is attempting to control the
"x" factor in the match...control
the weakness in her team. What
Holly will do from here is anyone's
guess. I just hope she doesn't
do anything drastic...like try..."

Mr. Figaro: "To throw Sandy off a cliff!?"

Mr. Clyde: "No...like try to talk to Sandy.
As Holly's brain might explode
when she converses with her."

Mr. Figaro: "Oh..."

Mr. Clyde: "I think we better go to commercials.
Things are getting out of hand."



*Commercials air for McPro's exciting new Television Block #2!"

spatulawrtdump.proboards44.com/index.cgi?board=shows&action=display&thread=1158284166&page=1



Mr. Clyde: "And now it is time for Kim Cross "Truth
and Assumptions" Show. This week the
show has been taken to another location.
So if you would all direct your attention
to the Orochi-Tron, you can enjoy.."

Mr. Figaro: "Oh, I'm ALL ready to enjoy Kim and KENTA!
Army, Clyde! The question is are YOU
ready for me to enjoy them!?"

Mr. Clyde: "We all know the obvious answer to
that unfortunate question. I'll do
my best to occupy myself."

Mr. Figaro: "Ahh, i hear ya, Clyde...I'll be
"occupying myself in my pants" for
this T&A segment too! Good thinking!
I better "Open the drawbridge for
Figaro Castle...if you know what.."

Mr. Clyde: "You open the drawbridge to "Figaro
Castle" and I'll make sure the
invading army of "Roundhouse kicks"..."

Mr. Figaro: "All right, allright...i'll just
sneak in the trap door then..."

Mr. Clyde: "Huh?"

Mr. Figaro: "Hand down the pants..."

Mr. Clyde: "Oh..."

Mr. Figaro: "Less glamorous but it gets the job done!"

Mr. Clyde: "Don't make me "poison the moat" around
your castle...and no Doma jokes."

Mr. Figaro: "*mutters*Take away all my fun..."



*Clyde sighs as Orochi-Tron comes alive with video!*

[OrochiGeese]

*Clyde sighs as Orochi-Tron comes alive with video!*


*Here we are in Kim’s favourite beautifician parlour,
where we join Kim in her standard interrogation gear with
Keina and Naomi of the KENTA! Army firmly strapped down
ready for their treatment.*


Kim: "Welcome fans! You join us on location at the Beautification
Room for a very special T&A featuring one half of the KENTA!
Army...Keina and Naomi! We’re here because this is one of the
few places with bonds strong enough to tie these two down
and because the schoolgirl look is so last season, me and
Figgy decided they needed a makeover! Before we start, are
you two girls firmly strapped in?"

Naomi: “WE ARE VERY FIRM AND TIGHT!”

Keina: “STRAPPED IN TIGHT!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING US PRETTY!”

*Two burly men appear and start primping the Army.*

Kim: "So, girls, what is it you love so much about KENTA!?"

Keina: “HE IS THE BEST!!!!! I WANT TO BE THE BEST FOR KENTA!”

Naomi: “I WANT TO BE THE BEST FOR KENTA TOOOO!!”

Keina: “WE WILL BE, NOMI!! WE’LL BE THE BEST FOR KENTA
TO GO 2 SLEEP WITH!”

Naomi: “LET’S ALL GO TO SLEEP..."

*To stop the answers from rambling TOO much,
the men put hot towels on the girls’ faces.*

Kim: "A well-timed exfoliation there, thank you Hans and
Wilhelm. Next question, what’s your goal within
OG-Joshi and what drives you to succeed?"

*We hear alternating muffled replies from both girls starting
with Keina. Something along the lines of “KENTA DRIVES US!” and
“WE WANT TO DRIVE KENTA!” and “WE KNOW HOW TO SUCCEED WITH KENTA!”
and “HOT TOWELS HURT PRETTY FACE!” and “I WANT TO BE A HOT TOWEL
ON KENTA’S FACE!” and “THIS HOT WHITE TOWEL IS LIKE KENTA LOVE ON MY
FACE!” Finally we hear Keina muffling: “TOWELS MAKE FACE PRETTY, NOMI!!”

Kim: "Ah, I see. Keina seems to be the self-styled leader of the
KENTA! Army, how do you and the other girls feel about that, Naomi?"

*The towel is removed from Naomi’s face. She attempts to talk
but her speech still comes across in a muffled manner for some odd
reason. Naomi clears her throat.*

Naomi: “WE LOVE KEINA! SHE KNOWS WHAT IT WILL TAKE FOR KENTA TO
LOVE US ALL! KEINA PREPARES US AND TEACHES US IMPORTANT
THINGS LIKE HOW TO PLEASE KENTA! SHE TEACHES US HOW TO
KISS HIM! SOMETIMES SHE PRETENDS SHE IS KENTA AND…”

*The towel is placed back on Naomi’s face as Keina is heard
muffling “I TEACH THEM HOW TO DEEPLY ACCEPT KENTA’S LOVE!”

Kim: "Well, from what I’ve seen the hierarchy is based on
who can say they love KENTA! the loudest and most often.
Do you girls think he knows you love him so?"

*Keina’s head shoots up as she throws the towel off her head.
We see a rare look of anger on her face as she screams:*

Keina: “OF COURSE HE DOES!! HE ALWAYS WILL! WE TELL HIM EVERYDAY!!
HE WILL NEVER FORGET OUR LOVE!! AND WE KNOW HE LOVES US! BUT
WE WANT HIM TO MAKE A MARK ON US FOREVER!”

*Hans and Wilhelm clamp Keina and Naomi’s
mouths shut whilst they apply lipstick.*

Kim: "Thank you! God you two are annoying! And loud!
Is it an attention seeking thing?"

Naomi *muffled*: “WE WANT KENTA-TTENTION!”

Keina: “AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR KENTA LOVE!!”

Kim: "Fine! I have it on good authority that if you go to
Mr. Figaro’s house and ask for the KENTA! Special then
some very odd things happen. With grapefruit. And KENTA! masks."

*Both Keina and Naomi suddenly shake their towels off at the same
time as their heads pop up with excited looks on their faces! They
manage to wiggle out of their bonds and proceed to run out of the
building despite the half made-over state of their young, eager,
and very naïve faces.*

Kim: "Ahem. Thanks for joining me on this very peculiar and
excitable episode of Kim’s T&A! Looks like you’re going
to be too busy for ice cream tonight Mr. Figaro, you can
thank me never! Now for some much needed relaxation.
Hans, Wilhelm. You know what to do."


*The scene fades as we go back to Voltage to see a wide-eyed
Mr. Figaro and a very anxious Mr. Clyde*


Mr. Figaro: "Clyde, I gotta go...I gotta get back to my
apartment like NOW! No time to spare..."

Mr. Clyde: "I think you have a match tonight."

Mr. Figaro; "Yeah, that's great, i'm sure the IceKid
will be a fun opponent to crush, but I
gots to get some ripe KENTA! freshness!"

Mr. Clyde: "You know...Kim's "beautification parlour"
is in London, England. Which means you
STILL have time to finish both your
commentary and wrestling duties tonight
WELL before KENTA! Army arrive to the
horrors you have in store for them."

Mr. Figaro: "Hmm...you got a point there. I'd rather
get all worked up here anyway!"

Mr. Clyde: "I'd much rather you didn't, actually."

Mr. Figaro: "Well too bad! You convinced me to stay, old buddy!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ninja don't make good "buddies."

Mr. Figaro: "If you weren't my best pal, you'd have tried to
to kill me years ago! But you keep putting up
with me! That's what best friends are for!"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's just move on."

Mr. Figaro: "Heehee, Clyde and I are best friends for life!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ok, ok..."

Mr. Figaro: "BFF..."

Mr. Clyde: "We still have a lot to get to tonight, including
YOUR match. The sooner we get through with the
show, the sooner you can get ready for KENTA!
Army, as scary as that whole setup sounds."

Mr. Figaro: "Fine, i'll behave...best buddy!!"

*Mr. Clyde sighs and attempts to move on with the show*

Mr. Figaro: "Heck, I'll even let you have KENTA! Army
after I'm done with them both!"

Mr. Clyde: "That is SUCH a wretched thought, I don't
even have a proper response. Other then
to say ITS TIME FOR YOUR MATCH! GET
INTO THE RING AND FOCUS ON WRESTLING!"



(OG-FPD Match: Mr. Figaro vs. Ice Kid)



*Commercials for the IMMENSELY EPIC VWA FINALE show airs*

valiantwrestlingalliance.blogspot.com/



Mr. Clyde: "We're back and..."

Mr. Figaro: "HE's DEAD! HE's BLOODY F'n DEAD!"

Mr. Clyde: "Wow, Swan beat the British into you..."

Mr. Figaro: "I'm just doing that to impress Kim Cross..
but damnit! That f'n Swan! I'll pluck his.."

Mr. Clyde: "I'd advise against any bird jokes as that
might offend our CEO and a certain Goose.."

Mr. Figaro: "Damn it!! I'll DESTROY EDDIE SWAN!"

Mr. Clyde: "There you go, that's much better..."

Mr. Figaro: "I DEMAND SATISFACTION!! I CHALLENGE
HIM TO A DUEL, I SAY!! A BLOODY DUEL!"

Mr. Clyde "While we try to organize our thoughts and insults,
we have a treat for Mr. Figaro. As OG-FPD NWA
World Champion Steven Regal is backstage with
Vader and they are about to be interviewed."


(OG-FPD: Backstage interview with Regal/Vader/RIG and Tajiri/Dean match)



Mr. Clyde: "And now we come to our main event, the
first match in the OG-Joshi Tag Team
Title Tournament. While the qualifier
matches were held last weekend, tonight
is the first official match of the
actual tournament. And it will be between
the team of Kat Black and Angelica Hyde..."

Mr. Figaro: "Big surprise you listed THEM first, loverboy."

Mr. Clyde: "Against the team of HAWT*Wing: Former OG-Joshi
Champion and Emergence: Evolution Tournament
winner Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto and Azumi Oonishi."

Mr. Figaro: "Big surprise you listed Kat Black first..."

Mr. Clyde: "Your sarcasm is as sharp as your wit."

Mr. Figaro: "Ha-ha!! Thanks for the "props!" And glad
to see you've been hanging out with OG-FPD
referee Guybrush!! He must learn a lot
while "insult swordfighting" with a ninja!"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes...indeed. Now this should be a very
athletic and competitive match. We saw
Angelica Hyde compete for the first time
last week...though saying the word
"compete" in the same match as Sandy
Morton really isn't accurage. Rather,
Angelica squashed Sandy with a display
of Angelica's aerial and technical
abilities. But this will be Angelica's
first real test in OG-Joshi. And she
will do it while teamed up with someone
she knows well: Kat Black. The two of
them met in Dragon Isle Joshi and
have teamed together in the past. They
met up recently at the previous LAWL
show and I'm guessing that reunification
led to their partnership in this tournament."

Mr. Figaro: "That and some pillow talk between you three!"

Mr. Clyde: "Kat and Angelica square off against the
recently formed HAWT*Wing group. A group
that actually has many of the same enemies
that Kat Black seems to have. HAWT*Wing formed
to fight against the women in OG-Joshi that do
not respect the purity of athletic competition."

Mr. Figaro: "Not to mention the women OUTSIDE of OG-Joshi
that randomly attack OG-Joshi wrestlers."

Mr. Clyde: "So there does not seem to be any ill
will between these two teams, though
certainly a continued sense of curiosity
as to the role Kat Black played in
previous situations regarding that
mystery woman who attacked Azumi, Sandy,
and Dizzy in the past. Kat has shown
that she is tracking that woman as
well though so it is hard to know
exactly what her motivations are."

Mr. Figaro: "Making you a happy ninja! You get
to "spar" with her and then investigate
her! That's like eating food while
having sex!" You're livin the dream!"

Mr. Clyde: "Also of note is that Azumi and
Kat have met before in the ring
to provide an excellent match.
Azumi won that match but Kat was
still new to OG-Joshi then and
put up a quite a great fight. She
has settled into OG-Joshi more as of
late and has certainly learned
from their previous match. So Kat
and Angelica had some chance to
prepare for Azumi Oonishi."

Mr. Figaro: "But they have not faced Dizzy."

Mr. Clyde: "And those who HAVE faced Dizzy
have said how hard it is to
prepare for Dizzy for the first
or tenth time you wrestle her.
Her speed, ability, and PASSION
for this sport is practically
unmatched. OG-Joshi still is
in shock after seeing the display
of tenacity she put on at our
previous PPV, Unleashed, where
she won a best of 3 falls match
with a severely injured arm."

Mr. Figaro: "Must be something in that Team
Ryder water! Some "Never say
quit" amoeba or something!"

Mr. Clyde: "Probably more of an internal
philosophy and passion then
an external biological additive."

Mr. Figaro: "Potato, patato..."

Mr. Clyde: "Back to Dizzy, who has shown
herself to rise above what many
have thought to be her limits."

Mr. Figaro: "And while Dizzy has not been
100% healthy since last November,
when Haley Cannon broke her leg
with the LDT, Dizzy does NOT seem
to be favoring any of her body
parts or showing signs of injury."

Mr. Clyde: "Azumi Oonishi, who was attacked
in the last few months by that
mystery woman, also appears to
be healthy and ready to wrestle.
In fact, this is her first match
back since that attack. So she
is eager to get back into OG-Joshi
competition and has a very good
stage to do it in the first round
of this tournament. We know Dizzy,
Azumi, and Alicia Gordon are united
in their HAWT*Wing goals outside of
the ring. Now we will see how well
these two work together inside the
ring as a tag team unit."

Mr. Figaro: "And we will see how two of the most
promising tag teams in this tournament
compete against each other in the ring!"

Mr. Clyde: "And that is exactly what this tournament
and resulting Tag Title is based on. So
let's get right to the match to determine
who gets one step closer to those Titles."




Match #4: Joshi Tag Tourney: 1-1: HAWT*Wing vs. Kat/Angelica




Figaro's corner: "If Kat and Angelica win the
belts, they'll keep them on
during midnight soiree's
with Clyde. That's hawt!"


*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*POST MATCH SPOILERS*





Mr. Clyde: "An INCREDIBLE showing between those two teams."

Mr. Figaro: "That was competitive throughout the entire
match! Each team brought their all, and yeah,
OTHER such happy sayings about good matches!"

Mr. Clyde: "In the end, it was Dizzy using a move
she learned from her boy..err...friend..
err...Frog Jones: the "Rolling Elbow."

Mr. Figaro: "*mumbles* I HATE Frog Jones *mumble*"

Mr. Clyde: "Perhaps, but that move has certainly been
a powerful edition to Dizzy's arsenal,
giving her yet another victory from it.
But the story of this match was in how
dedicated each team was to victory and
how deep their wrestling knowledge was.
We saw a multitude of impressive moves
and counters used by both teams.
Every wrestler pulled out all the stops
and were relentless in applying the
pressure and trying to outdo the other
side in speed and athleticism. Given
that these two teams are amongst the
quickest teams in the tournament,
it was not an easy task for EITHER of
them to out perform their opponents."

Mr. Figaro: "They were flippin and a floppin and
a bippin and a boppin!"

Mr. Clyde: "Angelica Hyde had a VERY impressive
showing for her first REAL competitive
match in OG-Joshi. She proved that she
could hang with the best here, really
bringing the pressure to Dizzy at the
end of the match and throughout. Kat
Black also got a chance to further
prove that she is no longer a rookie
in OG-Joshi and should be taken quite
seriously in that ring, no matter what
her mystery intentions are outside of it."

Mr. Figaro: "Azumi Oonishi also stepped up her game
here, considering this was her first
match back after the injury! And yet,
she looked the best she ever has!"

Mr. Clyde: "I'm assuming you mean IN the ring too."

Mr. Figaro: "Sure! She was hot all around! I'd like
to see a few more views from the back
too, as baby got back! Shake it Azumi!"

Mr. Clyde: "And this was an excellent match to
start this tournament with, that's for..


*Just then one of the ringside security members runs
into the ring and begins attacking Dizzy Cavuto!*

Mr. Clyde: "What the hell?"


*The security member takes off its hat and...oh no..
it's that masked crowd jumper we have seen before.*


Mr. Figaro: "After last Voltage's entrapment plan
from HAWT*Wing and General Celes,
it looks like this crowd jumper is
taking it upon herself to diversify
her attacking strategies. Dressing
up as a security guard is certainly
an insultingly ironic way to do that."

*The crowd jumper manages to take down Dizzy and then
apply her sickle assisted crossface. But before having
a chance to wrench in the sickle, Azumi attacks with
a low dropkick to the jumper's face. The jumper's head
recoils backwards as she gets knocked off Dizzy and rolls
out of the ring. She then attempts to run into the crowd
when...Alicia Gordon appears at the rampway and runs full
speed to the ring area. The jumper stops in its tracks,
deciding to alter its escape plan. It turns to the
left to see Azumi Oonishi blocking one escape route
and turns to the right to see Angelica Hyde blocking
yet the other route. The crowd jumper turns around...*


Mr. Clyde: "Get her, Kat!"


*The jumper turns around to witness an intimidating
sight as Kat Black is in midair after executing
a plancha a split second before the jumper turned
to face her. By the time the jumper took it all in,
it was too late to avoid impact. Kat crashes into the
jumper with the plancha as the jumper gets knocked
backwards. She is somehow able to use her momentum
though to tumble back and over the guardrail into
the crowd. She then manages to escape while brandishing
her sickle and threatening the crowd, but takes a
few uncomfortable falls, as Alicia Gordon helps up
Kat Black who also took the impact of the plancha.*


Mr. Figaro: "Damn it! That thing escaped AGAIN!"

Mr. Clyde: "But not without tasting some punishment
at the hands of Azumi and Kat Black,
along with the help of Alicia Gordon
and Angelica Hyde. It looks like Dizzy
is ok as well, as she managed to dodge
yet another attempted attack on her
by that jumper. And this is the third
attempt foiled thanks to Dizzy's friends."


*All the women gather on the ringside floor and shake hands.*


Mr. Clyde: "These five have a lot of mutual respect
for each other. And some of them even
appear to be friends. I'm sure Kat and
Angelica respect the match that Dizzy
and Azumi gave them, and vice versa.
Not to mention Dizzy respecting Kat
and Angelica for helping her and HAWT*
Wing. And Dizzy appears to be overall
unharmed from the attempted sickle attack.
Furthermore, Azumi actually got a small
measure of revenge against the jumper
when she hit her square in the face
with that dropkick. Knocked that jumper
right off Dizzy! Too bad Azumi didn't
get a chance to get some more revenge."

Mr. Figaro: "But one very positive thing we did get
to see was Kat Black actually fully
attacking that crowd jumper. This is
the first piece of strong evidence that
Kat has had nothing to do with the attacks
the jumper perpretrated. Kat tried to
stop this attack on Dizzy and even hit
a mean looking plancha onto the jumper!"

Mr. Clyde: "Very good point, Kat has just taken a
further step in establishing her past
and present innocance. I just hope
she doesn't have to prove it again
like this if another attack happens."

Mr. Figaro: "We can't have another one of these
attacks! The jumper appears to try to
do ANYTHING to get her violent message
across. Even if OG-Joshi stayed a step
ahead of her last time, this time it was
mainly based on having superior numbers."

Mr. Clyde: "General Celes will have to increase
security around the arena yet again.
And I'm half expecting to find a
bound up security guard in some
room backstage who was jumped."

Mr. Figaro: "Jumped by the jumper!"

Mr. Clyde: "But despite this attack, we can NOT
allow it to overshadow the amazing
tag match we just saw. Nor would
Kat, Angelica, or HAWT*Wing want
that attack to be the main thing
remembered from this match. All
five of these wrestlers are dedicated
to competition in that ring and what
we just saw was an excellent example
of what it is they are here to do."

Mr. Figaro: "And two of them are dedicated to
pleasin Mr. Clyde...wink wink!"

Mr. Clyde: "You aren't supposed to SAY 'wink wink"

Mr. Figaro: "I had something in my eye, so I had
to compensate with speech instead!"

Mr. Clyde: "So after this tremendous match, we
now know that it will be Azumi and
Dizzy who advance to the next round
to face the winners of next show's
match between Haley and Valeriyah
vs. Holly and...Sandy Morton."

Mr. Figaro: "Hmm...would Dizzy and Azumi rather
face the dominating team of Haley
and Valeriyah...or risk getting
some kind of disease from Sandy?"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's not skip ahead to that match
just yet as we will want to remember...

Mr. Figaro: "Oh I won't forget the awesome match
we JUST SAW where four of the most
nubile women ran around for my pleasure!"

Mr. Clyde: "I'm sure they'll be glad to know you
appreciate their efforts..."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah! And make sure you show Kat
and Angelica YOUR appreciation tonight!"

Mr. Clyde: "...thanks for the tip..."

Mr. Figaro: "I know how to satisfy them ladies!"

Mr. Clyde: "So I've heard...from you."

Mr. Figaro: "And you'll hear from KENTA! Army
after I'm through with them!"


*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*



[fin]