5/13/07 Voltage

[OrochiGeese]

Voltage can also be watched here!

Start yer downloadin now so the matches are ready to watch when you get to them in the show!

Match #1: Kat Black vs. Tigress Mask

Match #2: Lana vs. Yoyo Banzai

Match #3: Jo Ryder/Eddie Swan vs. Kim Cross/Mr. Figaro

Match #4: Jenny McLanahan vs. Alicia Gordon

Match #5: UBL Introduction Battle Royale

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Just wanted to update that I uploaded all of the videos for the to my DailyMotion account too, for those that prefer flash video to downloading the files.

www.dailymotion.com/orochigeese/OG-Joshi

It's the four most recent videos on top and then This link for the UBL Battle Royale

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Mr. Clyde: "Welcome everyone to the final Voltage before
the OG-Joshi PPV in two weeks."

Mr. Figaro: "A PPV that has already gotten enough buys
to pay for the first two minutes of this show!"

Mr. Clyde: "And what a show it should be as we have five
big matches for you including the main event
to determine who gets a shot at Holly's OG-Joshi
World Championship at the PPV."

Mr. Figaro: "Will it be Alicia Gordon or Jenny McLanahan!?
Really, Clyde, tell me! I don't know!"

Mr. Clyde: "Neither do I...that's cause the match hasn't
happened yet. But also because it is going
to be incredibly competitive and either of
them can understandably walk out the winner."

Mr. Figaro: "We also have a Battle Royale that OrochiGeese
set up to give the fans a sneak peek of some
of the wrestlers in the upcoming Universal
Battle League starting in June!"

Mr. Clyde: "Thanks for going with MY suggestion on
commentary there-"

Mr. Figaro: "Well, the more I thought about it, it
just didn't seem right to tell the fans
they were getting an early "taste" of the
UBL wrestlers. As that could be objectionable
to certain viewers and therefore is TOTALLY
something I'd never ever EVER say!"

Mr. Clyde: "Naturally."

Mr. Figaro: "Plus I PROMISED Kim that I'd stay focused
tonight for our match against the hated
Eddie Swine and Jo Ryder."

Mr. Clyde: "Which is quite an interesting matchup
by any account. A tornado tag mixed
gender match between two groups of
wrestlers who do NOT like each other."

Mr. Figaro: "And by the end of the match, Jo will
know that Kim is the true future of
of pro wrestling, not anyone with
a freaking mineral rock name!"

Mr. Clyde: "Do I detect a hint of jealousy from
you and Kim Cross that Jo Ryder
thinks highly of LAWL's Ruby Moreno?"

Mr. Figaro: "I know not of what you speak of!
You speak in tongues, Clyde! Tongues!"

Mr. Clyde: "you and Kim better be focused solely
on winning tonight rather then trying to
prove anything to Jo, or Eddie, or Ruby."

Mr. Figaro: "Ruby Moreno couldn't hold a candle
to Kim Cross in wrestling ability
OR looks!! Especially looks!"

Mr. Clyde: "Good to know. Our other two matches
include Lana getting her hands on
Yoyo Banzai in a one on one match
after MONTHS of their rivalry."

Mr. Figaro: "And lest we forget, while I get to
team with Kim "cross my heart" for
Figaro's love, YOU get to watch your
sacred ninja hot-pot Kat Black in action!"

Mr. Clyde: "Hot-pot?"

Mr. Figaro: "Watching Kat Black jump around against
Tigress Mask will probably give you
some kind of ninja smoke bomb overload!"

Mr. Clyde: "Just what WILL you do when you run out
of ninja euphemisms for intercourse?"

Mr. Figaro: "Don't you worry about THAT, Clyde! It
won't happen! And if it did, I'd just
make up new even better ones!!"

Mr. Clyde: "Thanks for allaying my fears."

Mr. Figaro: "I bet Kat thanks you for a-lay-ing HER!"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's get to the first match which is
the aforementioned Kat Black vs. Tigress
Mask match. As we know, Kat Black will
be facing Crimson Mask at the PPV but tonight's
match was made before she challenged Crimson."

Mr. Figaro: "General Celes wanted to put Kat against
Tigress cause she knew ACTION would
result from it, but she also wanted to
make one certain commentator very happy."

Mr. Clyde: "Celes told me that Kat had actually asked
her for a match with Tigress for a while
now. Tigress was one of the reasons that
Kat signed up with OG-Joshi cause she
wanted to test her skills against her.
It is unfortunate that someone like
Crimson Mask had to come along for
MANY reasons, including the grievous
injuries she inflicted on so many
wrestlers. But just one further reason
why Crimson has been a thorn in the side
of OG-Joshi is that she has delayed or
cast a dark shadow over many rivalries
and matches that could have been had. And
while Kat is now finally getting her chance
against Tigress, it is without doubt that
Kat's mind is on Crimson and their match
coming up in two weeks. A hardcore match
no less. And that concentration on Crimson
may certainly work to Tigress' advantage."

Mr. Figaro: "Tigress has a clear mind right now and
is focusing just on Kat, whereas we know
Kat's attention is split between Tigress
Crimson, and Clyde's sword."

Mr. Clyde: "..."

Mr. Figaro: "Kat's distracting "passion to unsheathe"
has to help Tigress BUT there is more to this
situation then just two naked nimble ninja.
Since Kat has been so wound up lately, no
thanks to you for cutting back on PDA's-"

Mr. Clyde: "Personal digital assistants?"

Mr. Figaro: "Public displays of affection! Though
I'd imagine with your excellent ninja
coordination, you probably ARE her
"personal digital assistant" if you
get where I'm going with this-"

Mr. Clyde: "No...I really don't."

Mr. Figaro: "Don't be a selfish lover. Clyde! Help her out!
Fingers are not meant just to grip a sword!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ok, back to the match. I think what
you were about to say before you
entered the realm of the perverse
is that Kat DOES have an advantage
going into this match despite her
attention being on Crimson. And that
advantage is based on her heightened
mood recently and her increased training.
Kat is more intense then we have ever
seen her before. And while Tigress is
certainly not an enemy of Kat's in any
way, she may be the wrong person at the
wrong time to get in the ring with a very
angry Kat Black. A Kat Black who has been
training hard with Alicia Gordon, and not
looking outmatched in anger."

Mr. Figaro: "They both have pretty nice bodies too!"

Mr. Clyde: "This match is also interesting from a
style standpoint. Kat has had to train
very differently for Crimson Mask over
the last few months then she did for Tigress."

Mr. Figaro: "Tigress is a very different wrestler then
Crimson Mask. Tigress relies on a hearty
helping of mixed martial art style
submissions, striking, and aerial ability.
I'd say Kat matches up just fine in the
striking and aeial ability categories
but the submission edge has to go to
Tigress Mask in my eyes. Tigress Mask once
actually beat Dizzy in one fall out of three
because she practically broke her arm
due to submissions and came extremely close
to winning the third fall as well!
Kat DOES have two very strong submissions,
which has won her many matches,
but Tigress has a wider arsenal and
one that I just see as more dangerous."

Mr. Clyde: "Kat is naturally used to facing quick
opponents as she is a graduate of
Dragon Isle Joshi wrestling and a
current LAWL wrestler too. But she
has not yet, to my knowledge, faced
someone with the submission prowess
of a Tigress Mask, and that may be
the biggest trouble for her. As for
Tigress Mask, this is one of the first
times she is facing someone as fast as,
if not faster then her. She had to face
Dizzy, of course, but other then that,
Tigress has largely had the clear speed
advantage against everyone she's been in
the ring against in OG-Joshi until now."

Mr. Figaro: "But NO ONE's faster then a ninja!! And
Kat Black is undoubtably one of the
fastest ninjas that Clyde has ever seduced!"

Mr. Clyde: "Now is a great time to get this match
started and find out the answer to
all our prior questions."

Mr. Figaro: "Just how many damn ninja girls HAVE
you seduced!? Are you like the James
Bond of ninja isle lovemaking!?"

Mr. Clyde: "Match starts now, folks."

Mr. Figaro: "Do you throw ninja stars laced with
some kind of aphrodisiac? Or hearts?

Mr. Clyde: "Just focus your attention to the ring
everyone, nothing left here to listen to..."





Match #1: Kat Black vs. Tigress Mask





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Mr. Clyde: "And what a comeback for Kat Black."

Mr. Figaro: "OMG Clyde, your girl just beat all odds
and made the most dramatic freaking ninja
comeback I've heard of since YOU were trailing
by a few thanks to her capacity for multiple-"

Mr. Clyde: "AHEM. Tigress Mask had been working
Kat's arm the entire match and the
effects are clearly seen just by
looking at Kat. Her arm is hanging
limp by her side but that did not
stop her from executing a masterful
mid-match change of strategy and
using her strong legs-"

Mr. Figaro: "You make it too easy on me, clyde.."

Mr. Clyde: "Her strong lower body strength to
take control of the match. She did
her best to avoid having to punch
or throw Tigress, and chose to use
other tactics. And while Tigress did
even up the score at the end, Kat
still managed to SHOCK Tigress
with that final effort of hers."

Mr. Figaro: "I REALLY thought Tigress had Kat
beaten there with that roll up from
the top rope but Kat managed to
break free and then amazingly had
the energy, and leg strength as
you pointed out, to hit one final
rebound splash onto Tigress, catching
EVERYONE by surprise, even the ref!"

Mr. Clyde: "Kat's conditioning came through
in a big way in that match as did
her heart. To come back from the
assault on her arm the way she did,
and manage to win the match in that
manner, I think she just showed
everyone in OG-Joshi that she has
even more in her arsenal then we
thought. A banner showing for sure."

Mr. Figaro: "Heh...calm down loverboy, save
some of that sugar for your
dessert with her later tonight!
And of COURSE she has amazing
conditioning, ninja love fests last-"

Mr. Clyde: "Would you quiet-"



*Just then, from the crowd (yea!), we see Crimson
Mask jumping over the rail and getting into the ring!
She runs after the still recovering Kat and starts
attacking her with a sickel! Kat tries her best to
fight back as Crimson is attempting to rip her mask!*


Mr. Clyde: "Why can't she just stay out of
these matches. She's not wanted here!"

Mr. Figaro: "Fight back Kat, fight back for Clyde's love!"


*Kat does just that...well, maybe not for THOSE reasons,
but who knows! Kat can't block Crimson's attacks due to
her weakened arms but she manages a sharp kick to Crimson's
mid section followed by a drop toe hold. But before Kat
can followup, Tigress Mask then runs into the scene and
hits a rebound elbowdrop on Crimson Mask as well!*


Mr. Figaro: "Yeah! Go Tigress!!"

Mr. Clyde: "This is actually the SECOND time that
Crimson Mask has interfered in a match
to attack someone that Tigress was facing."

Mr. Figaro: "Odd, isn't THAT exactly what started the
problems between Kat and Crimson to begin
with? Crimson kept interfering and attacking
Kat's opponents, and it made it look like
Kat may have been in cahoots with her!"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes, that is actually quite simil-"

Mr. Figaro: "CAHOOTS!!"


*Meanwhile we see Crimson Mask quickly roll out of the
ring once she discovers she's up against two wrestlers
rather then one. She gnashes her teeth under her mask,
brandishes her sickle threateningly (is there a NON
threatening way to brandish a sickle?), and then
leaves through the crowd as quickly as she came.*


Mr. Clyde: "It looks like Tigress Mask is taking
action immediately to ensure that she
doesn't get put in a bad situation AND
to ensure that Crimson wasn't going to
do any major damage to Kat Black."


*Kat Black and Tigress Mask look at each other
and then shake hands. They bow respectfully to each
other and then leave the ring area to fan applause*


Mr. Figaro: "See THAT, clyde? That was HOT!! Two
hot masked girls exhanging palm skin
like that! I bet you wish you were
between those hands, eh?"


Mr. Clyde: "And a great show of respect from
each wrestler after the competitive
match they went through. I'm hoping
a rematch can happen at some point
in the future where someone like
Crimson Mask won't try to ruin it."

Mr. Figaro: "Well if Kat Black does what she
is no doubt trying to do at the PPV,
then hopefully we'll never have to
worry about Crimson Mask again."

Mr. Clyde: "That is an optimistic thought and
we will see just how much Crimson's
act tonight adds to Kat's anger in
two weeks when she faces her in
what may be the most violent match
ever in OG-Joshi up to this point."






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Mr. Figaro: "Our next match is between Lana and Yoyo
Banzai. And although this is the first
one on one match between them, they are
no strangers to each other. They have
been warring since the end of 2006!"

Mr. Clyde: "This all started, oddly enough, when
Yoyo Banzai spilled Lana's soda."

Mr. Figaro: "Oddly!? what do you mean oddly!? That's
a punishable offence, Clyde! That's
like a cold hard DISS to tha face!"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes, Lana certainly took it that way
once Yoyo mocked Lana and didn't
apologize. From that point on, there
was tension between the two that grew
as Yoyo and Diva started to cause
trouble through OG-Joshi. Trouble
such as attacking Lisa Robinson,
who Lana came to the aid of. Those
two teams squared off in the OG-Joshi
Tag Tournament and the team of Lisa
and Lana won. But a few months later,
Yoyo was able to beat Lana in a tag
team match despite Lana breaking her
neck during it. Yoyo showed great
resolve in hanging on and finally
got the victory but had to go on
the injured list for a few months."

Mr. Figaro: "You do of course realize that Yoyo's
victory in that tag match was made
possible by a certain Kim Cross!"

Mr. Clyde: "She certainly did her part in that match."

Mr. Figaro: "Her part! She WAS that match! She
embodies victory, Clyde! And boobi-"

Mr. Clyde: "Ok enough, let's focus on Yoyo and
Lana. Now we know that Lana has been
quite a dangerous force in OG-Joshi.
The few times she has lost matches,
it has been her opponents who have
been worse for the wear due to her
physical onslaughts. It happened to
Kim, it happened to Yoyo. What will
happen tonight, however?"

Mr. Figaro: "I'm predicting Lana in the drawing
room with the candle stick."

Mr. Clyde: "I...see."

Mr. Figaro: "You don't have a CLUE what I just said!"

Mr. Clyde: "Uh?"

Mr. Figaro: "get it? A CLUE!?"

Mr. Clyde: "What makes you think I'd get that
inside joke and not the other one?"

Mr. Figaro: "I...i don't know."

Mr. Clyde: "Excellent then.

Mr. Figaro: "What do we do now?"

Mr. Clyde: "Engage in awkward silence for the
rest of the show hopefully?"

Mr. Figaro: "NO DEAL MR. NINJA BOND!"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's just get to the match."



Match #2: Lana vs. Yoyo Banzai



(No spoilers, just in ring carnage. If you see just one
match involving Lana and Yoyo this summer, see this one!)




Mr. Clyde: "That was a BRUTAL match between the two,
they went at each other just as we thought
they would. You don't want to get either of
those two women mad and they just showed why."

Mr. Figaro: "Think they got their hatred for each other
out of their system or will there be more?"

Mr. Clyde: "We'll have to see what General Celes says."

Mr. Figaro: "I hope she-"

Mr. Clyde: "Hold on, I'm getting word that there is
an attack happening backstage."


*Cameras quickly cut backstage as we see two men
dressed from head to toe in black attacking none other
then Twinky McLanahan!! There's one very tall man
and one rather fat man and they both have sitting
implements (aka chairs) that they are using to
beat him down!! Twinky absorbs about three body shots
until he FINALLY gets taken down. The two masked men
then continue pouncing on him with chairs until
he is unconscious and heavily bleeding. They are
finally run off by security, led by Flip Staley.*


Mr. Figaro: "What the hell was THAT about and
who were those guys?"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's take a short break and we'll see
if we can get you the details of the
attack and condition of Twinky McLanahan
when we come back."



-------------------------------------------------------

Advertisements for Dragon Isle Joshi: Beltaine


joshi.dragonisle.org/shows/2007Beltaine


Mr. Figaro: "NINJA GIRLS EVERYWHERE!!!! ALL NINJA
UNDERGARMENTS MUST GO!!""

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*Voltage returns as we go backstage to see a
lot of security and medics swarmed around Twinky,
as they help him slowly regain consciousness*



Mr. Clyde: "Things don't look good for Twinky
right now but we promise we will
update you with any information we
get as to his condition and assailants."

Mr. Figaro: "OrochiGeese said that every participant
in the Universal Champion League 2007
should be ready for the Battle Royale
tonight and that each one was eligible.
I don't think Twinky is gonna be ready
for that match at all, and I would
imagine Geese would have put him in
it to show off the talented UBL roster."

Mr. Clyde: "We will have to see if this causes
OG to revise his plans, or if THIS
was part of his plan all along."

Mr. Figaro: "I don't know Clyde, something
just seemed different about this
attack then how OG usually goes
about things. But then again, we
never imagined OG was capable of
what he did against Thunder Strike.
OG is capable of surprises, like how
he restocked the break room with
'I refuse to fathom it's not margarine'
rather then regular margarine spread-"


*OrochiGeese comes out to the stage area to no music
but with a microphone and a stressed look on his face.*


OG: "Twinky McLanahan was one of the UBL
wrestlers I had chosen to participate
in tonight's Battle Royale. Due to the
attack that he just suffered, his status
is questionable. However, as a testament
to his usual "guts before brains" Snack
Road philosophy, he INSISTED that he
still be allowed to compete tonight,
one he fully regained consciousness."

*Some fans erupt in cheers while others boo Geese
yelling stuff like "You did it!" "Screw you Goose"
and the odd occurrence of: "Validate my parking!*


OG: "Now, I know what you are all thinking and
I really can't blame you. Due to my past, I
have given you all ample reason to suspect that
that I am behind the attack on Twinky McLanahan.
But despite that, I offer you two pieces of
information. One, I was NOT responsible for
it. And two, if you do not accept my statement
of innocence, I don't care. *Geese shrugs*

OG: "What you people think means absolutely NOTHING
to me. I just care what's in your wallets, not
in your heads. However, this situation has
actually inconvenienced both Twinky AND me.
And for that, I will attempt to rectify it."

OG: "It is a rare thing when my interests
align with that of Twinky's, but I will not
allow my disdain for him to adversely affect
my goals. I wanted him at full strength
tonight, but that is sadly a condition
I can no longer expect him to be in. BUT I
shall do the best I can do to help him
approximate it. As such, I have spoken with
General Celes and made certain 'concessions'
in order to switch the order of the final
two matches. Originally the #1 Contendership
match between Miss McLanahan and Miss Gordon
was to be the final match of the night as I
had previously agreed to. But now the UBL
Battle Royale will take that slot so that
Twinky may get extra time to recover from
the attack. Will this sway your opinion
of my claims of innocence about it? Again, I
don't CARE. But it WILL help ensure that
all eight men in that ring can do what
I intend for them to do, which is to give
you all a fitting preview of the UBL. THAT
was my objective for tonight. If I wanted
to injure Twinky on MY show, I would not
have let the security force stand in my
way. I would have finished the job. But
finishing off Twinky is not on my schedule
UNTIL September 23rd in the singles league."

OG: "As for the concession I made to Celes,
she asked that OG-Joshi Champion Holly
be thrown out of the arena for tonight
so that she would not try to interfere
before, during, or after the #1 Condenders
match. So I have taken care of that,
though I suspect my ears will never be
the same after Holly's shrieks of protest
and "shenanigans." But so be it. Now,
I have some business to attend to, namely,
to find out who attacked Twinky McLanahan."


*OrochiGeese leaves with a pensive look on his face*


Mr. Figaro: "I told ya Clyde, Geese isn't basking
in this attack the way he usually does
when he lays someone out. Especially
when that someone is Twinky! Remember
two years ago when Geese attacked Twinky
backstage at a PW-W show and 'Raging
Bolt'd' him through a table?! Geese
couldn't stop grinning for MONTHS
after that. But he didn't even crack
a smile right now!! Not even a grin!"

Mr. Clyde: "Well, if not Geese, then WHO did this?
Was it Naja Mask or Marauder? Or
Nightmare? Or even Thunder Strike?"

Mr. Figaro: "Maybe it was one of the Gooses!"

Mr. Clyde: "No...they never go through the
trouble of covering themselves
up with THAT much clothing..."

Mr. Figaro: "Good point. And if it wasn't
Geese, it probably wasn't Flip
Staley either. If Geese wanted
Twinky ok for tonight's match, Flip
wouldn't get paid for attacking him."


*A few moments of silent contemplation commence*


Mr. Clyde: "For now, I suggest that you take
your mind off this since YOU are
in the next match. You need to be
focused and its hard enough to do
that when we don't have mystery
attackers here. So get down to that
ring and try not to embarrass yourself
too much against Eddie and Jo."

Mr. Figaro: "The only one going to be embarrassed
will be Eddie Swine when Kim 'pantses"
him to reveal Eddie's got a small beak!"

Mr. Clyde: "I would imagine YOU, of all people,
wouldn't want Kim's hands anywhere
NEAR Eddie's pants, don't you think?"

Mr. Figaro: "AHH! You're right!! No pantsing,
Kim!! Wait, stop! NO PANTSSSSINNGGGGG!"


*Mr. Figaro runs down to the ring, despite the
fact that Kim isn't actually there, nor is anyone
else besides the referee who stares quizzically.*

[OrochiGeese]

Mr. Clyde: "Ahh, a moment of solitude. I'm
hoping this match lasts a while,
but chances are this will be over
rather quickly, or at least in
comparison to a regular tag match.
With all four of these wrestlers
in the ring at once, the damage
and fatigue taken tends to be
higher per second then in a
traditional tag match. Especially
when you factor in the higher
rate of double teaming possibilities
and the women being a target of
the men. Though in this case, Figaro
may be in trouble when he gets into
the ring with both Eddie AND Jo
Ryder, as Jo is no pushover at all
and probably can wrestle circles
around Figaro, especially when all
his attention is on Kim's chest."

Mr. Clyde: "The reason for this match is that
Figaro is a tool and Kim is very
easily insulted. She did not like
how Jo Ryder acted backstage at
a LAWL show when Kim "ordered"
her to stop Eddie Swan from defending
himself against the unprovoked attack
of Mr. Figaro. And after an odd
dialogue between the two, Kim
decided that she did not much
care for Jo Ryder at all. And Jo
probably decided that it was best
to have an interpreter around for
their next confrontation."

Mr. Clyde: "Something Mr. Figaro said earlier
helps shed unintentional light on
all of this to me. Kim Cross is one
of the best up and coming Joshi
wrestlers in the world right now
and you would have to believe that
she wants to climb that ladder
even FASTER. Getting the attention
of Jo Ryder and being successful
against her in ANY way has to help
her cause. So I can't help but think
that some of Kim's "anger" with Jo
is manufactured just to create an
opportunity to face and defeat her."

Mr. Clyde: "Furthermore, factor in Figaro
and Kim's sudden apparent anger
with Ruby Moreno, a woman who beat
Jo Ryder at LAWLiday 2006. After
all, Ruby is also relatively new
on the international scene but has
had amazing success and very
impressive victories under her
OMG belt. Some already consider her
as the CURRENT best women's wrestler.
Perhaps there is a professional
jealousy that Kim, and by extension,
Figaro, have with Ruby...especially
since Jo Ryder HAND PICKED Ruby
as an opponent but has largely
ignored Kim until Kim's shenanigans
angered her enough to face her,"

Mr. Clyde: "But regardless of motivation, the
fact remains that Jo Ryder is NOT
the type of opponent you spend all
your time trying to irk and then not
have a gameplan for. Holly found that
out in 2005 when she spent too much
time getting her attention and not
enough preparing for their early
matches. Holly, of course, DID pull
it together and managed to beat Jo
on a few occasions since then, but
even she knows what happens if you
go into a match with Jo with all
emotion and no gameplan. Though
it's unlikely she'd ever admit it.
The point is, Kim have BETTER be
ready for all Jo can do, and Figaro
better be ready to be thrown around
by Eddie Swan as has happened in the
past. On the other hand, it seems that
since Kim and Figaro have more to prove,
they may be much more dangerous here.
The only question is whether those two
misfits are more dangerous to THEMSELVES
or to Eddie and Jo. We'll find out now."



Match #3: Jo Ryder/Eddie Swan vs. Kim Cross/Mr. Figaro



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Mr. Clyde: "Well uh...I can't say I was entirely
expecting THAT outcome."

Mr. Clyde: "Jo Ryder just made Mr. Figaro tap out!"

Mr. Clyde: "It looked like Jo was irish whipping
Kim, but she then turned her attention
to a downed Figaro...and then slapped
on that 'Queen's Clutch!' We've seen her
win many important matches with that
particular specialty of hers. And
while we had no doubt as to its
strength, she just used it to make
Figaro give up! I never doubted that
Jo Ryder had more technical prowess
then Mr. Figaro, but I never even
thought that Jo would be the one to
finish him off. I would not even
dare to call it an upset...but it IS
amusing cause you know how annoyed
Figaro is going to be at this.
Losing to Jo right in front of Kim!"


*Jo and Eddie high five and then leave the ring as
the crowd starts laughing at Figaro. Meanwhile, Kim Cross
is absolutely APPALLED at what happened and is dressing
down Figaro (no, not in THAT way) something FIERCE! He
is too embarrassed to look her in the eye (then again,
when did Mr. Figaro ever look ABOVE her chest?) so she starts
screaming obscenities to Jo. At least we THINK they are
obscenities, as we can't quite make out what she's saying
but it involves various monarchs, english tea cakes, and
the invitation to "roger one self." That's harsh, Kim!*

*Jo just shrugs her shoulders and continues walking
with Eddie who is smiling and laughing at a now
enraged Figaro. Figaro goes to leave the ring
to attack but Kim holds him back stating something
along the lines of: "You'll just get embarrassed again,"
which, in turns, does JUST THAT to Figaro. Kim
finally sticks her nose up, and turns in a huff
to leave the ring as Figaro tucks his proverbial
(I HOPE, just proverbial) tail between his legs and
follows her like a small puppy following its master.
Only with less butt sniffing and more staring.*




Mr. Clyde: "Let's go to a commercial break so that
we can give Mr. Figaro a chance to come
back to the announce booth and give some
colorful thoughts on what just transpired."



*Mr. Figaro comes back to the announcers chair*


Mr. Clyde: "So...looks like you have something
more in common with Holly now-"

Mr. Figaro: "I don't want to talk about it.."

Mr. Clyde: "Well, then save your energy cause
I'm SURE Geese will want to address
you about what just happened there."

Mr. Figaro: "..."

Mr. Clyde: "Do you even have an EXCUSE?!"

Mr. Figaro: "I...I couldn't stop staring at Kim!!
Clyde...why do you think I was on
the mat for that long? It's cause
I got the BEST view of Kim running
from my angle! Next thing I knew,
Jo wrapped her arms around my neck
and...and she bruised my man soul!"

Mr. Clyde: "Losing to Jo Ryder doesn't make
you any less of a man. Losing
to Jo in front of Kim Cross,
however, is debatable. But I'm
sure you can rectify the situation
and get Kim's confidence back. You are
scheduled to wrestle Eddie Swan during
the UBL June "Open" show in a Last
Man Standing match. Let's hope you
are more wise about staying off the
ground in that crucial match."

Mr. Figaro: "Clyde, ever lay on the ground looking
straight up and see Kat bouncing along
as she's running? If so, then you'd
know how I feel! THEN you'd know-"

Mr. Clyde: "Then I guess I can't empathize."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah, I guess when Kat runs, no
one can see her cause she's a NINJA
and turns invisible or something.
Oh well. Not Kim, though, she runs
and I see her bouncin like-"



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Mr. Clyde: "Hey look, time for a commercial break!"




-------------------------------------------------------

Advertisements for LAWL's Spring SniffLAWLs show:


www.lawl.freeservers.com/shopping_page.html


Mr. Figaro: "POTATOES AND BANANAS EVERYWHERE!!
ALL FOOD UNDERGARMENTS MUST STAY ON!!"


--------------------------------------------------------


Mr. Figaro: "Hey I know, let's go backstage! That
will take the attention off me!"



*We go backstage to meet "Mean" Jean Carter, standing by.
She has a resigned, shell-shocked look on her face, which
can only mean one th-*

Naomi: "HARRO MEAN JEAN! HARRO KENTA FANS! HARRO!!!"

Jean: "..."

Naomi: "HOW ARE YOU MEAN JEAN? MUST BE HAPPY FOR KENTA!"

Jean: "Hi girls."

Naomi: "OH! BUT NO TIME FOR CHAT! KEINA HAS IMPOTANT MESSAGE!"

*The camera pans to the other side of Jean to an
uncharacteristically serious looking Keina. Cornered
by the KENTA! Army, and vocal crossfire? Oh man...*

Jean: "Is this about your match against Eris Byrne in two weeks, at th-"

Keina: "YES! AT BIG SHOW WE WILL BEAT ELIS WITH ROVE FOR KENTA AND GET
REVENGE! MEAN ELIS MAKE HILOMI BROODY AND HELPED MEAN DOD WOMAN
AND DO MANY OTHER MEAN THING TO KENTA ARMY!! *Breathes*
I HAVE TO BEAT HER TO PROVE OUR ROVE! OUR KENTA ROVE!! WE HAVE
TO FORROW OUR PRAN!! KENTA ARMY TO BE UNDEFEATED FOR KENTA!"

Jean: "That's...that's a lot of words. But somewhere in there I think
you were talking about the match you had against Jane Dod four weeks
ago at Amplitude, where it looked like she hurt your knee pretty
badly. So are you 100% recovered and ready t-"


*CLANG*


*The camera pans back to the other side of Jean, where Naomi was
standing, to see... Eris Byrne, dented chair in hand and looking down
at something (or someone) on the floor. The camera pulls back slightly,
allowing us to see both Jean and Keina staring at her in surprise...
and looking down at a KO'd Naomi. Eris prods Naomi lightly with her
foot, looks up and smiles nonchalantly at Keina.*"


Eris: "Yo. How's your knee, kid?"

Keina: "NOMIIII~!"

Eris: "Don't think she can hear you, sorry. *rubs her ear*
The rest of the arena probably did, though..."

*Keina lunges past Jean towards Eris, who sidesteps
and kicks her in the knee, sending her down*

Eris: "Hey!"

*Keina gets to her feet, fuming and staring at Eris.*

Keina: "MEAN ELIS! YOU NO HIT NOMI OR MAKE HILOMI BREED ANYMORE!"

Eris: "*laughs* You're guano, girly! Why do you th-whoa!"

*Keina lunges again, knocking Eris back a step with an awkward tackle
and making her drop the chair. She follows up with a back spin kick,
KEINA Rush? Sadly not to be, as Eris ducks the slap, grabs her wrist
and steps on the back of her knee joint, sending Keina down to one knee.
Keina struggles until Eris puts more pressure on her knee.*

Eris: "Hey, stop that and listen up! Think for a moment, girly... J-Dod
had you screaming more than usual, your little friends were out
cold, and I had you all alone in the ring with a hurt knee, with
a steel chair available. Why do you think I didn't take my time
to break your leg, your face, or both?"

*Keina doesn't answer, and in her current position she is facing
away from the camera so we can't see her facial expression, but she
seems to be staring down at Naomi.*

Eris: "It's simple... you went and asked the General for a match
against me two weeks from now... And if you're all broken and
bloodied now, what's gonna be the fun in dismantling you then?"

*Eris smirks, but quickly turns deadly serious.*

Eris: "You opened Pandora's box, girly... you went and messed with the
Goddess of Chaos herself. If you think what I did to your little
friends was bad, two weeks from now I will break your pretty
little face so bad, your precious KENTA won't recognise you
in a hundred years."

*Eris lets go of Keina, stomping on the back of her knee and
drawing a barely audible yelp before she turns and stalks out of frame.
The camera pans down and pulls in closer on Keina who is checking on
Naomi. Naomi stirs and begins to rise... looking totally ignorant as to
what just happened. Instinctively, she goes to reach for Keina but
then hesitates when she sees the expression on her face. As the
scene fades out, Keina turns her head to the camera. Her eyes
are fiercely determined despite the tears streaming down her face
as we hear a frightened Naomi softly asking Keina what happened*



Mr. Figaro: "Eris Byrne means BUSINESS, Clyde."

Mr. Clyde: "If there were any doubts that Eris was
playing around, those doubts are gone.
Eris has gradually stepped up her
violence and aggression in her rivalry
with KENTA Army and right now I am
concerned as to what will happen during
her match with Keina. Yes, Keina does
seem to be acting bravely, but I'm not
sure that will be enough to take out
this highly motivated and dangerous Eris."

Mr. Figaro: "That's gonna be a crazay match, Clyde,
CRA-ZAY! And I just hope Naomi is ok.
I can massage her head if she wants, or
maybe even better, she can massage mine."

Mr. Clyde: "After the previous match, your EGO might
need it more then your head does."

Mr. Figaro: "DONT BE A MEANIE NINJA PANTS!"

Mr. Clyde: "What are you saying now?"

Mr. Figaro: "MEAN-BOB NINJA PANTS LIVES UNDER THE SEA!"

Mr. Clyde: "You've completely lost me. And unless
you know where that diving helmet is,
I suggest we get back to business. As you
said, I am glad Naomi is ok too. She
took a nasty shot to the head with
that chair by Eris, she may even have
a concussion but at least she is conscious."

Mr. Figaro: "Did you see that look on Keina's face
though? Imagine the BUSAIKU'ing she would
give KENTA tonight if he let her!"

Mr. Clyde: "Some words are not meant to be verbs.
Let's both agree BUSAIKU is one of them."

Mr. Figaro: "Fine, fine..."

Mr. Clyde: "Our next match is to decide the #1
contender to the OG-Joshi World
Championship, currently held by Holly.
The winner tonight will then go to the
OG-Joshi PPV in two weeks to challenge
for that title. On one side we have
LAWL's 1337 Champion Alicia Gordon and
on the other side we have Jenny McLanahan."

Mr. Figaro: "Who will win?"

Mr. Clyde: "I was expecting commentary a bit deeper
then that. But I think that's the best
I'll get from you right now."

Mr. Figaro: "Who SHALL win? There, is THAT better?"

Mr. Clyde: "The only things these two women share are
a mutual dislike of Holly and a mutual
admiration for lucha libre. However, as
with both of those shared feelings, they
each deviate in certain ways. Alicia's
lucha style is more aerial based and is
supplemented heavily by her martial arts
striking ability. Jenny's lucha is a more
ground based submission style. Alicia has
one main submission, the California Screamin,
while Jenny has at least three or four
submissions that can end a match. From
her cattle mutilation to her "Disc 3 Spoiler."

Mr. Figaro: "psst...Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father."

Mr. Clyde: "Get Miss Branford to tell Biggs and Wedge."

Mr. Figaro: "Touche."

Mr. Clyde: "In terms of in ring capability, it's very
hard to tell who has the advantage. Jenny
has the edge in experience with a lot more
years of pro wrestling under her belt. She's
held major titles around the world and has
wrestled the best. Alicia came up through
LAWL and has been on an amazing hot streak
over the last year and has proven she can
be successful against overwhelming odds
and a large variety of opponents."

Mr. Figaro: "However, Alicia's greatest victories have
come recently against those who she is
very angry with. And while she is not
happy that Jenny stands in the way to
get to Holly, it's not Jenny who is her
main target. It's not like Juli Krieger
or LAWL's Grace Reyes. Alicia is not
used to facing someone who is NOT overly
hostile towards her and who she does not
want to take revenge against."

Mr. Clyde: "And as much as Alicia has said that she
will do what she has to do to get to
Holly, I'm not sure if she has it in
her to really face Jenny with the same
kind of justifiable venom that she has
faced Juli, Holly, and Grace with."

Mr. Figaro: "Not to mention how calm Jenny McLanahan is."

Mr. Clyde: "Jenny wants the OG-Joshi World Championship.
That's her main goal. Not hurting Holly, not
eliminating Holly from OG-Joshi. Just beating
Alicia in a non-violent way and then beating
Holly for the Title. Besting them in the ring,
not hurting them. While Jenny has been visibly
put off by Alicia's violence towards Holly,
Jenny is still focused on just WINNING. That
goes for tonight and at the PPV. Jenny doesn't
have a desire for revenge, or a chip on her
shoulder. And if you ask me, I think that
might be what allows her to win this match."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah but Alicia has been at her best when
she's angry. Who ever thought she could
not only BEAT Juli Krieger, but knock her
out! And survive her to win in the cage!"

Mr. Clyde: "Juli Krieger is not Jenny McLanahan. Anger
is necessary against Juli. But against
Jenny, it may be a liability. Jenny can
see clearly and focus while Alicia is
blinded. Especially after what happened
last weekend at SniffLAWLS when Alicia's
best friend Marie Reyes got literally
traumautized by a member of LMAO."

Mr. Figaro: "That's just gonna make Alicia madder,
Clyde. I'm worried about Jenny. She
could get hurt tonight. If Alicia
sees Holly and the faces of LMAO
in Jenny, there's gonna be trouble.
Especially if she sees the faces of
those terrible orange critters."

Mr. Clyde: "It's gonna be Alicia's anger, striking,
and desire to face Holly vs. Jenny's
poise, submissions, experience, and
desire to win the OG-Joshi Title.
This match can go either way and
it would not surprise me if Alicia
was just a ball of fire tonight that
can not be extinguished. But if you
ask me, the way to do that, is to keep
her on the ground and work those
submissions. As for Alicia, she should
go for a knockout as Jenny starts to
get a bit more winded. Jenny has
excellent defense but Alicia is
quicker and deadly with those strikes."

Mr. Figaro: "Man, you've LOVING this, Clyde!"

Mr. Clyde: "This match here IS OG-Joshi. Two
women with passion going at it
for the right to fight for our
ultimate prize. The fact that this
has gotten personal just adds fuel
to the fire. And even though Holly
has been banned from the building,
you know she's watching this match
with total concentration."

Mr. Figaro: "Hi Holly!"

Mr. Clyde: "Yes, yes. Ok, let us get to the
match now and see who gets the next
shot at the OG-Joshi World Championship."




Match #4: Jenny McLanahan vs. Alicia Gordon


#1 Contendership to the OG-Joshi World Championship





*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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[OrochiGeese]

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Mr. Figaro: "New Champ-"

Mr. Clyde: "This match wasn't for the Title. But we
do have the new #1 contender FOR the Title."

Mr. Figaro: "And that is?"

Mr. Clyde: "Didn't you watch the match!?"

Mr. Figaro: "Of course I did! I was...just checking that you did!"

Mr. Clyde: "Jenny McLanahan is the new #1 Contender and
will challenge Holly for the OG-Joshi World
Championship in two weeks at the PPV."

Mr. Figaro: "Jenny McLanahan just won a close match after
almost 20 minutes of action ACTION ACTION!"

Mr. Clyde: "Please don't do that again."

Mr. Figaro: "We should call her Jenny McFrankensteinerhan"

Mr. Clyde: "Please don't SAY that again either."

Mr. Figaro: "And Geese is gonna be PISSED that she used
his "Chaos Mutilation" move."

Mr. Clyde: "Jenny was using it first...and she calls
it the "cattle mutilation" which is the
real name of the move."

Mr. Figaro: "SICKO! Who wants to mutilate cattle!!
That's it, I'm never going to HER house
for dinner, that's for sure!"

Mr. Clyde: "I think that was decided well before
YOU came to that conclusion. Now,
if you're DONE, can I please talk
about what we just saw?"

Mr. Figaro: "Fine, I got all the jokes in that
I wrote for tonight."

Mr. Clyde: "Great but you're not supposed to
SAY that on the air."

Mr. Figaro: "But we're in the spoiler box,
that means I can say anything."

Mr. Clyde: "No it doesn't, and you're REALLY
not supposed to say THAT on the air."

Mr. Figaro: "Fine, fine...geez..."

Mr. Clyde: "Alicia pushed Jenny extremely hard
in this match and came close to victory
on a number of occasions. But I think that
all the stress of the last few weeks
may have blinded her to the fact that
she was in the ring with Jenny
McLanahan and not Holly. Alicia did
not always seem ready for Jenny's
onslaught of pure DEPTH. Alicia
has been training very hard to take
on the brawling style of both Holly
and LAWL's LMAO faction, but Jenny
McLanahan has superior wrestling
ability to all of them."

Mr. Figaro: "Man, Holly's gonna be PISSED when
she hears you say that. Oh wait,
will she? We're in the spoiler-"

Mr. Clyde: "Shh! Holly had made tremendous
strides in the ring and has been
able to beat superior wrestlers
mainly based on her mental edge
and desire. But Jenny is a superior
pure wrestler to both Alicia and
Holly. Each woman has their own
strengths and I believe any of
them CAN defeat each other. But
only if they are prepared to face
the right style. Part of me thinks
that Alicia came to face Holly and
not Jenny. Whereas Jenny was totally
prepared and poised to face Alicia."

Mr. Figaro: "Also, as you said, Jenny has that
edge in experience that allows her
to adapt so well. Alicia might not
be at that point where she can
change her strategy around if she
needs to. She wasn't able to knock
Jenny out, so maybe she was not
able to improvise at that point.
Whereas whenever Jenny had problems,
she got past them. At the end, it
was clearly Jenny who took control
of the match with those two top
rope frankensteiners and then the
Cattle, eew...then the mutilation."

Mr. Clyde: "Alicia Gordon has made amazing strides
in the last two years in the ring. But
as motivated as she was tonight, she
just wasn't mentally facing Jenny the
way she should have been. This is a
tough loss for her, especially considering
that she can't face Holly in two weeks.
But I think the lessons of this match
can be invaluable to Alicia if she learns
from them and becomes more able to
approach these situations with a clearer
head. Alicia has all the physical tools
and all the passion one could want, but
tonight Jenny McLanahan's mind was properly
in this match, and Alicia's just wasn't."

Mr. Figaro: "And now Jenny gets to have her first
shot at the OG-Joshi World Championship!"

Mr. Clyde: "And a well deserved shot at that."



*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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*In the meantime, both women are recovering in the
ring. Jenny goes over to Alicia and starts talking
to her. Alicia looks away but Jenny taps her on
the shoulder. Lightly, but pointedly. Alicia looks
back and Jenny extends her hand. Alicia's gaze
goes back and forth between Jenny's eyes and her
hands. She holds back until Jenny leans in, slowly
puts her hand on Alicia's shoulder and mouths out
something along the lines of "I'll make sure
there's something left of Holly for you," and smiles.
Alicia nods and then accepts the handshake, albeit
briefly. Jenny, looking somewhat satisfied, then
walks back up the ramp to the applause of the crowd
and with a genuinely excited look in her eyes. And
why not? In two weeks, she might become the new Champion!*


Mr. Clyde: "You can see that excitement all over
Jenny right now. This is what she came
to OG-Joshi just slightly over a year
ago to do. She came so close to this
opportunity in the Battle Royale last
April and NOW she finally has earned
that OG-Joshi World Title shot."

Mr. Figaro: "And her J*NiGHT teammates have earned
a shot at the OG-Joshi Tag Titles.
May 27th may be THE night for J*NiGHT!"

Mr. Clyde: "Made that up all by yourself, eh?"

Mr. Figaro: "...well, I had help."

Mr. Clyde: "That's very sad."


*Meanwhile, it has been about a minute since Jenny
McLanahan has left to go backstage and Alicia is still
in the ring, expressionless. The fans try to start a
"We still love you, clap clap clapclapclap" chant until
some other fans start a "please stop chant-ing" chant.
As Alicia is distracted by this numbskullery, we see
Sandy Morton sneaking down to the ring on the floor
area rather then the ramp. She...she grabs a chair
and rolls into the ring...oh no!*

Mr. Figaro: "The hell!? Sandy Morton just plastered
Alicia Gordon with a chair!! Right after
that grueling match! Alicia is down and
Sandy Morton is LOVING herself right now!"

Mr. Clyde: "Never use that combination of words when
talking about Sandy in public. We have
health codes in place, you know?"

Mr. Figaro: "Sandy Morton is dancing around the ring
as if she just executed the single most
awesome action in the universe! Which
is clearly not the case cause, if it
involves Alicia down, i'd think it
would ALSO involve me under her!"

Mr. Clyde: "Sandy Morton has actually...*gasps*
correctly executed a plan. And while it's
hard to say how long this plan has been
underway, you have to figure it was
conceived of at least 20 seconds ago.
Having success for a 20 second plan is
a major accomplishment for her. But if
you ask me, Holly was behind this. Since
she was thrown out of the arena, THIS
was likely her revenge. Celes only
banned Holly, not Sandy Morton. And
I know Juli Krieger wasn't here tonight
otherwise Celes would have thrown her
out too. But Sandy must have been
forgotten about, and understandably so."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah but Holly's "training" has really
been helping Sandy out. Sandy has become
a bit dangerous actually! Better in the
ring and certainly capable of a competent
attack. But it looks like she still has a
way to go, specifically, gloating a bit less-"


*As Sandy is dancing around and playing to the fans,
Alicia kips up and walks silently up to her. The fans
start "ooh-ing" but its clear Sandy is so self-absorbed
that she has no idea what is happening...until he feels
a tap on her back...followed by...oh shit...followed by
a FUCKING AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF SANDY'S NECK!*

*The crowd cringes at the sound as Sandy just
gets DRIVEN down to the ground. Through what HAS
to be pure physical reflex due to the impact,
she lucks out and happens to roll out of the ring.
Before Alicia can follow her, General Celes
runs out to the ringside, grabs a microphone, and
positions herself between Alicia and Sandy. Celes
looks angry and starts yelling at Alicia*


Celes: "Don't take another step!! What are you
thinking!? Attacking someone from behind?
With an axe kick that could cripple them?
What are you trying to do? Send a MESSAGE
to Holly? *Celes breaks out in a grin*

Celes: "Well, I'd say you're well on your way to
doing it. But...I'm going to ask you not
to finish the job right now on Miss Morton."

Alicia: "Why the hell not!?"

Celes: "With your loss to Jenny, you are now out of
anything to do at the PPV. So, why waste a
perfectly good opponent for you? In other
words, what would you rather do, Alicia..."

*Celes pauses and then grins again*

Celes: "Finish Sandy off NOW when Holly isn't
even around to see it....OR brutalize
Sandy in a "Last Woman Standing" match
in two weeks at the OG-Joshi PPV!?"

*Alicia nods with a scary look in her eyes*

Alicia: "Anything goes?"

Celes: "Anything goes, Miss Gordon. Axe kicks
to the back of the neck, to the front
of her face, whatever you want. You
do what you have to do to keep her down
for the 10 count. And if Sandy tries to
run away, I'll make sure she's dragged
back. THAT's her punishment for attacking
you with a chair...and that's your chance
at putting some more fear into Holly. Yes,
Jenny beat you tonight, and I think she
will beat Holly, but that shouldn't stop
you from continuiing your quest for revenge.
Let this little parasite Sandy be the next
immediate destination on your journey, that's
all I ask. After the PPV, I'll make SURE that
Holly will face you. OrochiGeese has
given me total control of OG-Joshi after
tonight. Whether she keeps her title
or loses it to Jenny, Holly WILL face you
at the next PPV. In a match of YOUR choice."

*Alicia nods contently*

Celes: "So for now, let Sandy crawl back to her
teacher and tell her it may be time to
start looking for a new student...or
identity under the witness protection plan."

Alicia: "I'll see you in two weeks then.*Alicia
then looks at Sandy and lightly kicks her
still quivering (in pain and fear) body*
You too, Morton. Next time though, that
axe kick won't have come from me at the end
of a twenty minute match...and you'll know
exactly how it feels to lay in a hospital
bed worried that your career is over."


*The fans ooh as an eerie silence comes over them while
Alicia turns to walk backstage. Celes looks over Sandy
as some of the medical staff comes by to help her out,
but she is still able to walk so no stretcher is needed.*


Celes: "While I'm out here, I have a few more things
to say in regards to the PPV. I am officially
naming it: OG-Joshi: May ...maybe I'm not
ready to name it just yet actually. But I WILL
now announce the remaining matches for it."

Celes: "Due to Kat Black's request and also due to
what we saw earlier tonight, Kat will face
Crimson Mask in a hardcore match. Weapons
will be allowed and there will be no
disqualification. I am hoping Kat will be
able to eliminate one menace from OG-Joshi."

Celes: "And after what we saw tonight, I have
decided to make a match between Kim Cross
and Jo Ryder. It is clear there is still
tension between them and they need a more
constructive way to work it out then watching
a certain colleague of mine buffooning around."


Mr. Figaro: "And no one does it better!"


Celes: 'Thirdly, there will be a Battle Royale
between some of the newer wrestlers and
some of the more established ones. Think
of this as a the OG-Joshi veterans helping
to quite literally show the ropes to some
of our new talent. Eight wrestlers will
participate which include Patty Sirloin,
Jane Dod, Kristin Blade, DARKNESS Diva,
Jenna Stone, Lana, Tigress Mask, and Lisa
Robinson. The winner of this match will get
an open contract against any wrestler they
choose, barring a direct World Title shot.
However if they are impressive enough in
this battle royale and their subsequent
chosen match, then I can be convinced."

Celes: "Now, the show will be turned over for the
FINAL time to preview OrochiGeese's
UBL. OG-Joshi will see you in two weeks
for our PPV and then we will be back to
a regular noninterrupted Voltage schedule
shortly afterward. Thank you and I hope
you enjoyed the show we put on tonight."


*General Celes walks backstage*




--------------------------------------------------------------

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Now watch some of the participating competitors!

----------------------------------------------------------------



Mr. Clyde: "And now we come to OrochiGeese's Battle
Royale invitational. Eight out of the
eleven chosen wrestlers from the Universal
Champion league will now face off with
each other. Of note is that we STILL
don't know who the twelfth one will be."

Mr. Figaro: "It will likely be you or me, from what
Geese has been saying. He already has
Flip to watch his back and help punish
certain opponents, but if you are gonna
stack the deck, might as well do it fully!"

Mr. Clyde: "He has been training us more rigorously
as of late, though part of that is to get
us prepared for our matches at the June
Open show. You will face Eddie Swan, as
already mentioned, and I will face Jang Bae."

Mr. Figaro: "Well, one thing for sure is that we
aren't going to be in tonight's
Battle Royale. I already wrestled
and Geese told us both that he had
a specific eight in mind."

*OrochiGeese comes to ringside and takes a microphone*


OG: "What I'd like now is for each of the
eleven singles league wrestlers to come
to ringside now. Let me remind you that
if you put one hand on me, you will be
converged on by security AND thrown out
of the league. You all WILL get your
shot at me, and everyone else, but
tonight is NOT the time to do it."


*Despite that warning, Geese is still smart enough to
call some extra security members over including Flip Staley.
The other 9 wrestlers come down the ramp and surround the
ring. A clear split in groupings as we have Thunder Strike
standing near Jason Hyde, Bak Fu and Nick Strife standing
around a visibly hurt but PISSED Twinky McLanahan, Naja
Mask standing wtih Marauder and conferring with Nightmare,
and Centurion standing pretty much alone and getting
weird looks from just about everyone, especially Mr. Figaro.


OG: "Here are the eight men who will be competing
tonight: Naja Mask, Marauder, Nightmare,
Bak Fu, Jason Hyde, THUNDER Strike *OG
grins*, Flip Staley, and our favorite
'fallen hero', Twinky McLanahan."

OG: "This will be the first time some of you
will ever face each other so-"


*Once the eight were announced they all got into the
ring and immediately started fighting. OG looks taken
back by their utter lack of desire to continue to listen
to him, but he eventually shrugs and just goes with it.*


OG: "A-ha! I guess I have made you all
suitably angry enough then! Let's
start the match! Let us see who can
dominate this first universal battle!"





Match #5: UBL Introduction Battle Royale



Naja Mask vs. Flip Staley vs. The Marauder vs.Nightmare vs.
Twinky McLanahan vs. Bak Fu vs. Jason Hyde vs. Thunder Strike






*POST MATCH SPOILERS*
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Mr. Clyde: "And what a match we just had. All eight
men going at it with no regard to who
they were fighting. They know that is
how it will be in the Universal Champion
League. Tonight, it was former multitime
Universal Champion Thunder Strike who
was able to get the big win with his
"Thunder Clap" finisher against one
of his greatest rivals, Naja Mask."

Mr. Figaro: "Everyone involved looked impressive
and it was certainly something to watch
Jason Hyde and Thunder Strike do battle
after being so closely allied lately.
Just shows how OrochiGeese can tear
alliance apart with his form of chaos!"

Mr. Clyde: "What was both amazing and yet not really
that surprising was how well Twinky
McLanahan did considering the shape
he came into the match in. He had been
beaten severely earlier in the night but
did not back down and certainly made
an impact. Those in the ring who never
faced him before must be wary about
meeting him in a match when he IS healthy.
He was giving everyone trouble enough
after getting savagely attacked by two men."

Mr. Figaro: "But just who DID attack Twinky out? Was
it Geese? Or Marauder? Or Flip?"

Mr. Clyde: "I don't know if we'll ever find that out.
But he is still outside the ring, along
with the rest of the combatants. It appears
that every single one of them wanted to
see who would emerge the winner so no one
went backstage after they were eliminated."

Mr. Figaro: "Thunder Strike is standing in the ring now
staring straight at Geese and looking more
angry at him then celebratory over his win.
But that man hasn't shown an OUNCE of
freaking personality or fun since he got
here so that's really no surprise!"

Mr. Clyde: "Not everyone celebrates their victories
by calling up a gaggle of strippers."

Mr. Figaro: "Sucks for them then!"










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*As the commentators bicker over the correct way
to celebrate, there is a rumble in the crowd and two
men suddenly jump out and start attacking Twinky!*


Mr. Clyde: "Look!"

Mr. Figaro: "YES! More crowd jumpers!! They should
form a freaking union at this point!"


*The two men are clad in the same dark clothing we
saw earlier as Twinky was being attacked. But this time,
they don't take too long with Twinky and instead roll
into the ring to start brawling with Thunder Strike!"

Thunder Strike tries to fight them off but is still
woozy from the long match. OrochIGeese just looks on
curiously while Jason Hyde rolls into the ring to help
Thunder Strike. Twinky has been knocked down again and
is trying to get up...but then-"


Mr. Figaro: "No! It...it couldn't be! Not AGAIN!"


*From out of the crowd jumps JACK FREAKING DOD!! He
rolls into the ring with a chair and knocks both
Thunder Strike and Jason out of the ring!! He
unmasks the two masked men who turn out to be
Caleb and Ronnie Dod. The fans are going nuts!
Some are booing, some are cheering...but OrochiGeese
is no longer as calm and reserved as he was seconds ago!*

*Jack Dod grabs a microphone and then points to Geese*


JACK: "CHAOS... CHAOS... CHAOS! ...NOT as much fun
when you have to deal with the REAL THING,
is it Geese? I understand that your own
personal brand of patented 'Caaaayoss'
is your favorite thing, but Geese yours is merely
a Controlled Chaos. Standing before you is
a master of the real deal, and I can tell
from your face that you just don't like it when
the CHAOS is on the other foot, do ya?"


*OrochiGeese seeths but is cut off from speaking. Twinky
finally gets to his feet and is shocked to see Jack Dod
in the ring. Twinky stares at Geese who just looks back
at Twinky and shrugs as if to say: "don't blame me!"*


Jack: "Disappointed Geese? I can understand that. I have
known many GREAT disappointments in my life.
I'm sure you are all familier with the infamous
JOHNNY BINGO SCREWJOB perpetrated on ME by HIM...

(points at Twinky with venom in his voice and poses)


Jack: "Costing me MY UWH World Heavyweight
championship. Then I find out that I get no
rematch? The thousands and thousands of letters
from crying, dying children, begging the PW-WiLD
offices to let their hero have another chance to
win back the belt - to not let the travesty stand...
to give them hope for the future, and possibly
the strength to beat there diseases of various
types, stages and treatment levels that plague
their tiny bodies.. *goes into a fugue*
Little Timmy Malloy got the chicken pox on that
day, he got them- he's dead now, but he got them,
he was hit by a falling chunk of frozen urine
dropped from a passing jetliner 2 weeks later,
he got them all right, and..."


*Jack pauses to collect himself, weepy, destraught,
in a soft choked up voice* "I hope you're happy...."

*Jack pauses another moment, than pops back up like he wasn't
just feeling real, real sad one second ago.*


Jack ".......So yeah, Universal Battle League. I'm IN."


*A look of shock crosses everyone's faces, with anger on Geese's*


Geese: "Not on your LIFE Dod, you are NOT part of my plan."


JACK: "I see, I see, you'll let in TRASH *waves a hand
over ar Thunder and Twinky* but you won't let in
someone you know can, and that HAS, beat you! I
guess we have a new brand of CHAOS. A new brand of
CHAOS that tastes like CHICKEN!


*The crowd starts laughing as Geese's eyes turn red and
he shakes his head in warning. Thunder Strike actually grins
a bit but Twinky just stands still and watches two of his
greatest rivals argue over a decision that could turn the
UBL on its very head. Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde make their
way down to ringside sensing the heat rising in the situation*


Geese: "Listen here Dod, you are NOT invite-

Jack: "BAWK!"

Geese: "Stop that!"

Jack: "BAWK BAWK!"

Geese: "You'll pay for-"

Jack: "BAWK!!!!!!"


*Geese's fuse is LIT. Figaro puts a hand on Geese's
shoulder to try to reason with him to calm Geese down.*

Figaro: "Don't give him what he wants! You CAN'T!"

Geese: "I'm not! I couldn't let him in-

Jack: "BAWK!"

*the little twig in Geeses mind snaps. He shoves Figaro off of
of him, reels around pointing to Jack and screams "YOU'RE ON, DOD!"

*The crowd erupts as Geese accepts his challenge. Jack
Dod has now been accepted as the twelfth member of the League!*

*Jack smiles.*

JACK: "THANK you, thank you... and with that-"

*Jack dives over the ropes to attacks Twinky AGAIN. Thunderstrike
runs over to break it up, the Dods jump in, Orochi army jumps in!
Security pours in, the backstage empties, the crowd riots! MELEE!
Geese slumps in the corner, hand on his head in shock at just how far
he was pushed and THE DIRE CONSEQUENCES* OF THIS NIGHT! The scene fades.*


*Fin*


(*Said consequences of this night will be seen in the UBL:

ogubl.proboards53.com/index.cgi?

Watch as the Universal Champion singles league starts in June!)


See you all in two weeks for the OG-Joshi PPV!! ;D