6/4/06 Voltage

[OrochiGeese]

*Voltage opens with no pyro, no music, no highlight packages,
no dancing bears, no synchronized swimming, no tandem Goosecycles.
Instead, we see the owner of OG-FPD and OG-Joshi, OrochiGeese
himself, standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone.*


(BIG OG-FPD/PW-W related announcement here, but not related to OG-Joshi.
Check regular Voltage page on OG-FPD site for full scoop!)


*Commercials for LAWL's FinaLAWLs show*


www.lawl.freeservers.com/shopping_page.html



Mr. Clyde: "We have ourselves a VERY interesting
start to what is shaping up to
be one of the most intense summers ever."

Mr. Figaro: "And that's BEFORE we factor in the
HOT summer of OG-Joshi wrestlers"!

*Mr. Figaro wipes his neck down with a handkerchief*


Mr. Clyde: "It's...really not THAT hot in here."

Mr. Figaro: "Oh it is! Do you know who is backstage?
Kim Cross! She's gonna melt ALL the
iced cream in this arena!"

Mr. Clyde: "While I won't comment on that remark,
I will mention that you are quite
right in pointing out her attendance."

Mr. Figaro: "KIM!! WOO!"

Mr. Clyde: "Kim is here tonight to take on Lana.
This is a rematch of their first match
that took place on the April 23rd, Voltage."

Mr. Figaro: "An excellent match that had Kim Cross winning
with the Kim Crossface in 15 minutes."

Mr. Clyde: "But Kim's victory did not end there,
as she then went on a verbal tirade."

Mr. Figaro "Tirade is such an ugly word...I prefer
to call it at "impassioned plea for sex."

Mr. Clyde: "??"

Mr. Figaro: "...with me. Often."

Mr. Clyde: "Oh."

Mr. Figaro: "I..I think she's smitten with me."

Mr. Clyde: "And so she shows that by insulting
Lana right? That sounds logical."

Mr. Figaro: "Well L.A.N.A. is really an abbreviation
for "Loving And Needing Attention."
FIGARO brand of attention!"

Mr. Clyde: "Lana is a real wrestler, and Kim's
comments were directed towards her.
But Lana didn't seem too happy with
all Kim had to say and these two
women have really had a war of words."


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Mr. Figaro: "That...that's harsh. I think these
two could benefit from some Figaro
"Friendship" Intervention...I'd
have to intervene in a lot of places..."

Mr. Clyde: "I...I think we'll let them sort out
their problems in the ring, actually.
As many of our viewers don't have
the strong stomachs necessary to
deal with "Figaro intervention."

Mr. Figaro: "So...no Figarvention?"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's just get to our first match
and see if Lana can avenge her
previous loss. She seems very
intense and focused but Kim seems
very confident and skilled."

Mr. Figaro: "I'd love to find out ALL her skills..."

Mr. Clyde: "Match...now."

Mr. Figaro: "Wait...first we have to mention our
new ring! OG-Joshi has a brand new
wrestling ring with our own logo!"

Mr. Clyde: "Good point, thanks to OG-Joshi ring
crew for setting that up for us.
Now, let's see it in the match."


(Thanks to Dhalsimrocks for putting the logo into the ring!
Seriously folks, he spent HOURS doing this, let's hear some
props for him! Dhalsimprops!! Get it? Ok, watch the match!)



Match #1: Lana vs. Kim Cross




*POST MATCH SPOILERS*










































Mr. Clyde: "And what a rematch that was. They somehow
were able to battle each other for
another 25 minutes, 10 more minutes then
their previous match lasted. These two can
really withstand a lot of damage."

Mr. Figaro: "Poor Kim! That dastardly Lana!"

Mr. Clyde: "Lana was able to beat Kim with a legal
triangle choke into a jugigatame. A
very advanced submission move that might
have caught Kim off guard. After seeing
Lana's striking prowess in their first
match, Kim might not have been expecting
Lana's submission skills as well. But
Lana seems equally skilled on the ground
as she is standing and striking."

Mr. Figaro: "Don't sell Kim short, as I think we
saw more of her stand-up skills to
compliment her submission expertise."

Mr. Clyde: "Very good point, both of these two
wrestlers are extremely well versed
in multiple forms of combat."

Mr. Figaro: "Heehee...multiple..."

Mr. Clyde: "But tonight it was Lana that prevailed."

Mr. Figaro: "Poor Kim...

Mr. Clyde: "Well Kim has nothing to be ashamed of
as she took Lana to the limit and
already had won their previous match.
Plus Kim did look very skilled tonight,"

Mr. Figaro: "I'd like to see MORE of her skills tonight."

Mr. Clyde: "Um...what matters here is that Lana has
proven she is NOT one to be taken likely.
Kim might have done just that after
their previous match. But I'm sure she'll
be thinking differently as she prepares
for their next match, a tag match."

Mr. Figaro: "That happens at the next Voltage on June
18th as Kim teams with the dangerous
Yoyo Banzai against Lana and Visper Karr."

Mr. Clyde: "In the meantime, I'm sure both Lana
and Kim will look back on this match
and continue to fine tune their
strategies against each other."

Mr. Figaro: "And maybe pick out more revealing
outfits! As that will DEFINITELY
help their gameplans!"

Mr. Clyde: "I think both of them have learned
a lot tonight about each other's
offensive and defensive abilities."

Mr. Figaro: "But by the looks on each of their
faces throughout the match, and
at the end, I don't think they
learned to love each other..."

Mr. Clyde: "I...don't think they will."

Mr. Figaro: "Then I'll have to show them! I'll
have to show the WORLD to love!"

Mr. Clyde: "Start with one at a time..."

Mr. Figaro: "I already did while watching the match.
Why do you think my hand was busy?"

*Mr. Clyde's face turns pale*

Mr. Figaro: "I mean I was writing a love letter
to Patty Sirloin, you perv!"

Mr. Clyde: "...i'm not gonna make it through
tonight at this rate..."

Mr. Figaro: "Nut up, Clyde!"






*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*





Match #2: Unexpected announcer match using KOC2!!


(Not really part of OG-Joshi but fun to see Orton get beat down by Mr. Figaro!)


(Regal interview by new RIG)



Mr. Clyde: "That RIG wasn't afraid to ask
some stup...tough questions..but he
better be more mindful of how
inquisitive RIGs usually end up."

Mr. Figaro: "Smashed. Obliterated."


Mr. Clyde: "And those two adjectives are
a great way to describe the
carnage that Juli Krieger
has brought to OG-Joshi."

Mr. Figaro: "Segue power ahoy!!"


Mr. Clyde: "We heard from General Celes a
few weeks ago that she had
in mind a special mystery
opponent for Juli this week...

Mr. Figaro: "Some "stiff competition."


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Mr. Clyde: "And we'll find out who it is
in the next few minutes."

Mr. Figaro: "Well, here comes Juli Krieger."


*"Tier" by Rammstein plays as Juli Krieger comes down to the ring*


*Juli waits in the ring with a stoic look on her face*


Mr. Clyde: "I assume Juli Krieger had a chance to
catch the FinaLAWLS show last weekend.
Alicia Gordon made her in ring return
months after Juli hospitalized her.
Alicia was very impressive in her return
match and even picked up the victory.
It is only a matter of time til she
comes back to OG-Joshi to confront Juli."

Mr. Figaro: "IS Alicia Gordon the "Stiff competition?"

Mr. Clyde: "No, General Celes said it isn't her."

Mr. Figaro: "Oh its SO Patty Sirloin!!"

Mr. Clyde: "Why?"

Mr. Figaro: "Do I have to spell out the joke for you!?
The whole "STIFF" competition thing..."

Mr. Clyde: "...oh...ewww."

Mr. Figaro: "Yeah!"

Mr. Clyde: "Just try not to ride the "Buckin Bronco"
in public anymore, we've gotten complaints
from parents after that disaster."

Mr. Figaro: "YEAH! RIDE THAT BRONCO!!"


*Mr. Clyde averts his gaze from Mr. Figaro and
instructs the entire audience to do the same*


*"Fields of Fantasy" comes on the speakers as General Celes
walks onto the entrance ramp stage. She has a microphone
and a coy smile. She stares at Juli Krieger.*


Celes: "Miss Krieger, thank you for coming tonight
to face your next opponent. I have taken
the liberty, and pleasure, to pick your
next opponent. An opponent that you
will NOT, can NOT dominate. An opponent
that will not go down...unless IT wants
to! An opponent of superhuman strength...
no...super fowl power. Your opponent
tonight, Miss Krieger, is none other then
the most vile, disgusting, creation made
by Orochi-O's: A creation that another
vile being, Holly, had a hand in making.
I speak of the marauder, SleepyGoose."

*Juli stands by looking somewhat confused as the audience
is in shock. Figaro and Clyde's mouths are hanging open,
until they realize the ramnifications and close them
immediately before SleepyGoose saunters to ringside.*


Celes: "You cost OG-Joshi use of one of our top
stars, Alicia Gordon. And tonight you
are going to pay. Even if you win
tonight, even if you pin Goose, you will
pay. I have given it specific instructions
to make you feel dirty inside...much
like OG-Joshi star, Holly does. While Goose
can never do to you what you did to Alicia,
I'm hoping that you feel SOME degree of
internal discomfort...and feel sick after."

Nr. Figaro: "Ouch."


Celes: "Good luck against The Goose, Juli, I
suggest you use some protection."

Mr. Clyde: "This is the harshest punishment that
General Celes has ever given out. Unless
Juli can crush Goose right off the bat,
she's gonna feel some degree of mental
pain just being in the ring with it.
And if...Goose touches her...

Mr. Figaro: "Then may Odin have mercy on her soul."


Mr. Clyde: "Let's get to the match..or whatever
mess this surely will be..."





Match #3: Juli Krieger vs. mystery opponent!





*POST MATCH SPOILERS*











































Mr. Figaro: "SOMEONE GOT GOOSED!*


Mr. Clyde: "Well, Juli Krieger WAS finally able
to put down the Goose...a being that
is not a member of OG-Joshi as it's
not really a female...or a human."

Mr. Figaro: "Juli still was able to overpower
Goose, which is a pretty BIG
accomplishment for ANYONE. But
it came with a price...as Sleepy
Goose seemed to make Juli uncomfortable
at every chance it got. Made me
uncomfortable just watching it...

Mr. Clyde: "And if Figaro is getting uncomfortable,
then you KNOW something is off."


Mr. Figaro: "But in the end, it was Juli Krieger's
powerbomb of destruction that was
able to keep Goose down. Unless Goose
was just getting tired and wanted to
go to sleep with Juli on top of it.
Really, we'll probably never know."

Mr. Clyde: "I suggest a number of over the counter
topical creams for Juli's health
at this juncture. Goose has a number
of...conditions...and well, Juli had
a lot of physical contact with..."



*Figaro has his head in his hands, his eyes closed, and
is saying the words "Think of Patty, Think of Patty."*


*Juli is standing in the ring, trying to dust herself
off...which will take a bit...when General Celes
comes back out again with a smile on her face again.*



Celes: "Well now, I'm impressed that you were
able to actually put the Goose down...
but it appeared as if you paid a price."


*Juli looks angrily at General Celes*


Celes: "Oh, now...don't be sore...oh wait,
Goose saw to it that you are!"

Clyde: "I blame you, Figaro, for her learning
to talk like this at all."

Figaro: "She actually ASKED me for some lines.
THAT's how angry Celes is at Juli."


Celes: "But Juli...you see, your punishmenet
has just begun. As I have yet ANOTHER
surprise for you. No, not another
Goose...but this surprise does come
from another bizarre source...LAWL."


*"California Love" hits the speakers as Alicia Gordon (!)
comes out to the entrance ramp to thunderous cheers.
General Celes shakes her hand and gives her the mic*



Alicia: "OG-Joshi, I am BACK!"


*More thunderous applause as Juli stares at Alicia and
Alicia returns the gaze with the same intensity*


Alicia: "And Juli Krieger, I'm coming for you."


*Alicia throws the mic down and begins to walk to the
ring. Celes holds Alicia back and is given a new mic*


Celes: "I knew you would come back with
that fire, so I have an idea.
Rather then running to the ring
and now taking your revenge on a
defiled, tired Juli, wouldn't
you love to show you can beat her
at full strength? To show how much
better you are then her?"

*Alicia hesitates and then nods at Celes*


Celes: "I am prepared to offer you a
match with Juli Krieger at
the next PPV: The OG-Joshi
PPV this July. A victory
at THAT big a stage will show
just how far you have come.
And it will show how much
better you are then Juli."


*Alicia ponders this offer*


Celes: "This match will be very big
for OG-Joshi and I'd like to
preserve it. That means you
have to control yourself from
attacking Juli and getting
revenge BEFORE the match.
If you can use restraint, then
you get your match. But the
match will be cancelled if
either of you attack the
other one before the PPV.
No matter how much you each
want to destroy each other."


*Alicia takes the mic back*

Alicia: "Fine...I've waited this long
to beat and humiliate her, so I
can wait another month for the biggest
stage possible: an OG-Joshi PPV.
Not only will I defeat and beat her
out of OG-Joshi, but I will show
everyone that I'm better then her when
we're BOTH fresh...unlike how
she feels after that Goosing!"

*Alicia points to Juli and Figaro laughs*


Celes: "Excellent. So the match is
on. At the July 30th OG-Joshi
PPV, it will be Juli Krieger
vs. the returning Alicia Gordon."

*Alicia shakes the hand of General Celes, then
gives the finger to Juli Krieger. Juli
answers back by making a "Throat cut" gesture.*


Alicia: "Silence, Juli? What's wrong
with your mouth? Didn't it
get enough exercise when
you were on top of Goose?"

Mr. Figaro: "I'm starting to like Alicia..."


With no interpreter present, Juli was unaware
of what Alicia just said, but she still looks angry*


Alicia: "See you at the PPV, bitch."


*Alicia raises her right hand to wave to the fans
and then goes backstage again. Celes then nods
to Figaro and Clyde, and goes backstage. Juli
Krieger walks slowly backstage, still trying
to shake the smell and feel of Goose off.*


Mr. Figaro: "I think Juli is gonna have to
bathe with leeches and some
turpentine for the next 6 months..."






*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*

[OrochiGeese]

Mr. Clyde: "So how about we get back on track
here. With our final match of the
evening. Sandy Morton teams with
Yoyo Banzai to take on the KNIT
2005 winner, Tigress Mask, and
the first OG-Joshi Champion
ever, Diane "Dizzy" Cavuto."

Mr. Figaro: "Dizzy also victoriously represented
OG-Joshi at Evo.R this year and
defeated Kaori NiGHT in the second
best match of the night! The total
best, of course, being the match
where Clyde and I won! But Dizzy
and Kaori did pretty well too!"

Mr. Clyde: "Humility, thy name is Figaro."

Mr. Figaro: "And lust, thy name is Clyde"!

Mr. Clyde: "Touche..."

Mr. Figaro: "So we get to watch Dizzy team
up with Tigress. Should be an
interesting combination."

Mr. Clyde: "Dizzy is still preparing to
face Haley Cannon in the
future and wants to be able
to counter her submission
based skills. Tigress Mask
possesses those skills and
it will help Dizzy to team
with her and see her
techniques and how she moves."

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Mr. Figaro: "It always helps me to see
Tigress move...ROAR!"

Mr. Clyde: "Relax..."

Mr. Figaro: "I hear you like some feline
energy too Clyde, a certain
"Kat in Black".

Mr. Clyde: "Did you say "Cat in the Hat?"

Mr. Figaro: "I...i don't remember."

Mr. Clyde: "Good...keep it that way.

Mr. Figaro: "And on the other side of
this match, we have Yoyo
Banzai no doubt being
unhappy with teaming
up with OG-Joshi's new
wonder, Sandy Morton."

Mr. Clyde: "A wonder?"

Mr. Figaro: "As in, I wonder how the hell
she was let in here, I wonder
how much longer we'll have to
put up with her. And I wonder
how her skankyness is actually
a turn-off to me!"

Mr. Clyde: "Ahhh, THAT kind of wonder."

Mr. Figaro: "I'm intereted to see how
Yoyo Banzai reacts in this
situation. This is essentially
a two on one situation against
Yoyo. As good as Yoyo is,
can she actually defend against
Tigress AND Dizzy? All while
having to put up with a yak
of a woman in her corner."

Mr. Clyde: "Yak? Please don't turn into
Stevie Ray right in front
of my eyes here. This
isn'tt Nitro..."

Mr. Figaro: "It's the GREATEST Voltage
in the history of our sport!"

Mr. Clyde: "You do bring up an interestng
point about Yoyo Banzai. Any
two wrestlers would have a
hard time dealing with a team
of Tigress Mask and Dizzy,
but Yoyo is going at it with
a real mess of a partner. I
dare say Yoyo would have a
better chance going at it alone."

Mr. Figaro: "Well, Yoyo IS the team against
Dizzy and Tigress. But then
you have to wonder, how much
is Dizzy scouting Tigress,
and vice-versa. So it's
not like they are the most
cohesive team either."

Mr. Clyde: "Well, there's only one way
to find out what will happen."

Mr. Figaro: "Agreed! Let's get a Ouija
board! Or a magic 8 ball!"

Mr. Clyde: "Let's get to the match."

Mr. Figaro: "What is THAT gonna show!? I
want a magic 8 ball!!"



Match #4: Dizzy/Tigress Mask vs. Yoyo Banzai/Sandy Morton




*POST MATCH SPOILERS*






































Mr. Clyde: "Tigress Mask picks up the win with
her Tigress Driver finisher."

Mr. Figaro: "And this match went basically
the way we expected. Yoyo Banzai
doing all she could to fight off
two of the best in OG-Joshi. As
great as Yoyo is, as crafty
as she is, she just could not
fight an entire tag team
composed of Dizzy and Tigress.
Chances are that Sandy's
stench was clouding Yoyo's
senses too."

Mr. Clyde: "Yeah, Yoyo can't really be
blamed for...


*Yoyo Banzai gets up, and smacks Sandy Morton
in the face with a chair from the outside*


Mr. Figaro: "Can't say I blame Yoyo
for THAT either!"


Mr. Clyde: "So I guess it's safe to
say that the Yoyo/Sandy
alliance is short lived."

Mr. Figaro: "But it appears that the
Dizzy/Tigress alliance
worked out quite well."

Mr. Clyde: "And next show, we have
yet another tag match
involving them as they
team up against Jenny
McLanahan and Kaori NiGHT."

Mr. Figaro: "I'm interested in hearing
Dizzy and Tigress' reactions
to this match and to each
other's styles. Though it
might take another match or
so for them to really learn
about each other to the
point they both want to."

Mr. Clyde: "And I'm guessing next show's
big match with Kaori and Jenny
will give all four women a
huge learning opportunity."

Mr. Figaro: "Learning is fun, Clyde!"

Mr. Clyde: "That...that's great."

Mr. Figaro: "Read me a story!"

Mr. Clyde: "No."






*END POST MATCH SPOILERS*



(OG-FPD ECW Angle takes place)


Mr. Figaro: "Well, it looks like we have an ECW
Championship match to take place
at the next Voltage, on June 18th!"

Mr. Clyde: "That should be an excellent match.
Probably our main event for the
next Voltage. In addition to that,
we also have Dizzy and Tigress
Mask taking on Kaori NiGHT and
Jenny McLanahan."

Mr. Figaro: "AND we have Lana teaming with
Visper Karr to take on Yoyo
Banzai and icecreamalicious
Kim Cross...mmmm...Kim Cross!"

Mr. Clyde: "And we have Kat Black taking
on Sandy Morton...in what
is sure to be a very tense
atmosphere after the last
time we saw.."

Mr. Figaro: "Sandy Morton! Last time she
stunk the ring up!"

Mr. Clyde: ""Last time' was like twenty
minutes ago...tonight."

Mr. Figaro: "And we're STILL disinfecting
the ring from her odors!"

Mr. Clyde: "I'm sure that Dizzy and
Tigress will be happy to
have an opponent a bit more
challenging then Sandy. And
Yoyo will be happy to have a
better tag partner next show."

Mr. Figaro: "I'd LOVE to tag Kim Cross!"

Mr. Clyde: "Yeah, i bet you would. But
you have enough Tag Team
committments in FPN right
now..."

Mr. Figaro: "I didn't say I wanted to
tag her in a match..."

Mr. Clyde: "And with that nugget of
unnecessary knowledge..."

Mr. Figaro: "Nugget? Oh @#%$...I gotta
get to Wendy's soon before
they close! Quick, Clyde,
I'll even buy you a junior
cheeseburger or something..."

Mr. Clyde: "Ok, ok,. i'm wrapping it up
he...wait, why only a junior?"

Mr. Figaro: "Relax, relax..."

Mr. Clyde: "It's ok...I'm glad I don't
have the level of "appetite"
that you seem to..."

Mr. Figaro: "You couldn't handle a full
platter of Patty Sirloin!"

Mr. Clyde: "Eww. The show is ending now.
Thanks for watching folks."