Back to school!
Aug 4, 2007 2:06:48 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Aug 4, 2007 2:06:48 GMT -5
*We now interrupt your regularly scheduled 2:30 am weekend television viewing informercial to bring you a public service message from OG-Joshi World Champion....Holly!*
*We fade into a small promo room with the OG-Joshi banner in the background*
Holly: "Sup bitches!! How did everyone in OG-Joshi enjoy their summer vacation? Sad that its come to a close? Confused why it happened in the FIRST place?"
*Holly gives a look of mock confusion with her forefinger on her chin*
Holly: "With the return of Amplitude and the summer vacation being over, it's time to go "back to school." In fact, my wonderful and not at all bloated from BBQ food, colleague Jenny McLanahan already gave that impression. And if you're surprised I shared that sentiment with her, imagine how shocked you'll be when I say I agree with her about a SECOND thing! Jenny was right when she said she wasn't good enough to beat me at Limit Break! Its amazing she even realized that on her own, but she finally came through!! Congrats Jenny!! As despicable as you are to me, I have to give you credit for realizing your own shortcomings and my superiority! You're on the road to full mental recovery after a questionable past few years."
Holly: "Speaking of debilitating mental infirmities in OG-Joshi, it certainly seems that General Celes has made a lot of stupid decisions recently, right kids!? But I just gotta say...there is more then meets the eye to her recent mindset. So let me educate you all, my CLASS, as to the many ways Celes has FAILED...and WHY. But don't worry, we needn't use the equivalent of the "Cannonbury Tales" for Celes' shortcomings. Celes doesn't even WARRANT that bit of effort on my half. Instead...she gets this:"
*Holly takes a stained cocktail napkin out of her pocket, presumably a list, and starts reading it.*
Holly: "Failure the first: Did not have the good sense to follow up the excellent and highly profitable Limit.Break PPV with a summer schedule continuing our momentum. Instead what did she do? Sat back and watched Drake Yoshida thoroughly SCHOOL her...there's that word again...on how to run a wrestling promotion. Sure, Geese helped...as did having me present on both Open shows, but I digress..."
*Holly winks*
Holly: "Failure the second: Did not have the good sense to put ME on the return Amplitude show this week. Yep, can you believe it!? After forcing the fans to sit through a boring summer of no OG-Joshi, Celes didn't even showcase its honored CHAMPION on its return show!"
Holly: "Failure the third: Did not punish Alicia Gordon for what she did to poor, impressionable, pathetic Juli Tanaka. I just LOVE the double-standard here!! If I was to even scratch Juli in a match or insult her shoes, Celes would be screaming bloody murder and threatening me with sanctions and a title-stripping! She'd then CRY to Geese about what a menace I am. But Alicia not only decimates Tanaka...which was about as impressive a task as chewing gum, but she BRAGS about it and gets off scot-free! Now, students, can you possibly come up with a conclusion that explains all of this? I'll give you a few seconds."
*Holly waits while tapping her foot and looking around. She then stares at the camera*
Holly: "3 words: Confusion and desperation. She has no idea how to handle me. How to handle the fact I have beaten EVERYONE put in front of me. How to handle the fact I beat her named title contender, Jenny. So after I beat Jenny, Celes immediately put OG-Joshi into hibernation hoping she'd come up with some kind of plan. Hoping she'd try to curtail my momentum. Honey...I've been on this run since 2005...Jo Ryder hasn't stopped me, Kaori NiGHT hasn't, Haley Cannon hasn't...YOU aren't. And neither is that little pathetic excuse for a desperate "Plan B" attempt to take the title off me and stop me: Alicia Gordon."
Holly: "Jenny beat Alicia Gordon and so will I...mercilessly. But the reason Celes didn't put me on Amplitude and instead showcased Alicia was to try to get me nervous. It DIDN'T work. So Alicia cut through Juli Tanaka - Big f'n deal! Do that to Jo Ryder and we'll talk. Hell, do that to someone who isn't a vegetable or farm animal or whoever they have grazing the open fields in LAWL! It's called credible competition, LAWL, look the fuck into it! Ha, better yet, I'll educate YOU on that in a few weeks" *Holly smirks*
Holly: "Celes...you're down to your final choice, your last ditch plan to take this title off me. And that's why you've turned a blind eye to Alicia's violence. Violence that has been condemned by her very friends! But you don't care, Celes. You'll do anything to get rid of me, even if it just makes you a hypocrite. Even if it caused you to tank OG-Joshi for the last few months in a desperate attempt to slow me down. Even if it means no talking to Geese for MONTHS because you can't handle the fact he and I are TIGHT"
*Holly crosses her fingers to illustrate*
Holly: "Even if it means embarrassing yourself in front of the entire roster and audience as you lose your grip of this promotion that Geese handed over to you on a silver platter just cause he wanted to bone you....for whatever odd reason. He's got weird fetishes, that I KNOW...I just wasn't aware they extended to you."
*Holly rolls her eyes*
Holly: "But through all this, through all your desperate efforts, I still stand Champion. I still stand with this belt that I earned last summer and haven't been beaten for despite facing the best you could throw at me. And once I get through Alicia on December 13th, I can not WAIT to see the look on your face as you scramble further into madness: trying to deny the fact you have been defeated once again and are out of ideas. And then you'll finally come to the conclusion that this isn't actually your fed...it's MINE."
*Holly looks stoically into the camera and then walks off*
*An aerobic/fitness infomercial comes back on for your fapping pleasure*
*We fade into a small promo room with the OG-Joshi banner in the background*
Holly: "Sup bitches!! How did everyone in OG-Joshi enjoy their summer vacation? Sad that its come to a close? Confused why it happened in the FIRST place?"
*Holly gives a look of mock confusion with her forefinger on her chin*
Holly: "With the return of Amplitude and the summer vacation being over, it's time to go "back to school." In fact, my wonderful and not at all bloated from BBQ food, colleague Jenny McLanahan already gave that impression. And if you're surprised I shared that sentiment with her, imagine how shocked you'll be when I say I agree with her about a SECOND thing! Jenny was right when she said she wasn't good enough to beat me at Limit Break! Its amazing she even realized that on her own, but she finally came through!! Congrats Jenny!! As despicable as you are to me, I have to give you credit for realizing your own shortcomings and my superiority! You're on the road to full mental recovery after a questionable past few years."
Holly: "Speaking of debilitating mental infirmities in OG-Joshi, it certainly seems that General Celes has made a lot of stupid decisions recently, right kids!? But I just gotta say...there is more then meets the eye to her recent mindset. So let me educate you all, my CLASS, as to the many ways Celes has FAILED...and WHY. But don't worry, we needn't use the equivalent of the "Cannonbury Tales" for Celes' shortcomings. Celes doesn't even WARRANT that bit of effort on my half. Instead...she gets this:"
*Holly takes a stained cocktail napkin out of her pocket, presumably a list, and starts reading it.*
Holly: "Failure the first: Did not have the good sense to follow up the excellent and highly profitable Limit.Break PPV with a summer schedule continuing our momentum. Instead what did she do? Sat back and watched Drake Yoshida thoroughly SCHOOL her...there's that word again...on how to run a wrestling promotion. Sure, Geese helped...as did having me present on both Open shows, but I digress..."
*Holly winks*
Holly: "Failure the second: Did not have the good sense to put ME on the return Amplitude show this week. Yep, can you believe it!? After forcing the fans to sit through a boring summer of no OG-Joshi, Celes didn't even showcase its honored CHAMPION on its return show!"
Holly: "Failure the third: Did not punish Alicia Gordon for what she did to poor, impressionable, pathetic Juli Tanaka. I just LOVE the double-standard here!! If I was to even scratch Juli in a match or insult her shoes, Celes would be screaming bloody murder and threatening me with sanctions and a title-stripping! She'd then CRY to Geese about what a menace I am. But Alicia not only decimates Tanaka...which was about as impressive a task as chewing gum, but she BRAGS about it and gets off scot-free! Now, students, can you possibly come up with a conclusion that explains all of this? I'll give you a few seconds."
*Holly waits while tapping her foot and looking around. She then stares at the camera*
Holly: "3 words: Confusion and desperation. She has no idea how to handle me. How to handle the fact I have beaten EVERYONE put in front of me. How to handle the fact I beat her named title contender, Jenny. So after I beat Jenny, Celes immediately put OG-Joshi into hibernation hoping she'd come up with some kind of plan. Hoping she'd try to curtail my momentum. Honey...I've been on this run since 2005...Jo Ryder hasn't stopped me, Kaori NiGHT hasn't, Haley Cannon hasn't...YOU aren't. And neither is that little pathetic excuse for a desperate "Plan B" attempt to take the title off me and stop me: Alicia Gordon."
Holly: "Jenny beat Alicia Gordon and so will I...mercilessly. But the reason Celes didn't put me on Amplitude and instead showcased Alicia was to try to get me nervous. It DIDN'T work. So Alicia cut through Juli Tanaka - Big f'n deal! Do that to Jo Ryder and we'll talk. Hell, do that to someone who isn't a vegetable or farm animal or whoever they have grazing the open fields in LAWL! It's called credible competition, LAWL, look the fuck into it! Ha, better yet, I'll educate YOU on that in a few weeks" *Holly smirks*
Holly: "Celes...you're down to your final choice, your last ditch plan to take this title off me. And that's why you've turned a blind eye to Alicia's violence. Violence that has been condemned by her very friends! But you don't care, Celes. You'll do anything to get rid of me, even if it just makes you a hypocrite. Even if it caused you to tank OG-Joshi for the last few months in a desperate attempt to slow me down. Even if it means no talking to Geese for MONTHS because you can't handle the fact he and I are TIGHT"
*Holly crosses her fingers to illustrate*
Holly: "Even if it means embarrassing yourself in front of the entire roster and audience as you lose your grip of this promotion that Geese handed over to you on a silver platter just cause he wanted to bone you....for whatever odd reason. He's got weird fetishes, that I KNOW...I just wasn't aware they extended to you."
*Holly rolls her eyes*
Holly: "But through all this, through all your desperate efforts, I still stand Champion. I still stand with this belt that I earned last summer and haven't been beaten for despite facing the best you could throw at me. And once I get through Alicia on December 13th, I can not WAIT to see the look on your face as you scramble further into madness: trying to deny the fact you have been defeated once again and are out of ideas. And then you'll finally come to the conclusion that this isn't actually your fed...it's MINE."
*Holly looks stoically into the camera and then walks off*
*An aerobic/fitness infomercial comes back on for your fapping pleasure*