10/14/07 Voltage

[OrochiGeese]

Voltage - October 14th, 2007


*Voltage starts off with its usual hullabaloo of
assorted lights, colors, and yelps from excited
and malnourished fans ("Peter Venkman Arena"
snacks are low in protein to ensure minimal
fan dissent and criticism!). But one huge change
in this show is apparent right off the bat, that of
our commentators! Instead of the usual "Odd
Couple" of Mr. Clyde and Mr. Figaro, we are
greeted with the shining faces of "Mean" Jean
Carter and OG-Joshi General Celes!*

[Celes:] "Welcome fans to a special edition of
Voltage. Miss Carter and I will be filling
in for the temporarily, "love-struck" usual
commentary team as they escort two of
our very best wrestlers, Kim Cross and
Kat Black to a restaurant tonight in alleged
celebration of Kim and Kat's tag victory
at the previous Voltage. During tonight's
broadcast, we will be bringing you live
footage of their dinner, as requested by
a hungry, excited, and desperate for
attention, Mr. Figaro."

[MJC:] "Wow, we're gonna be seeing their actual
date?! This is going to be quite a challenge
for our network censors! They'll earn their
money tonight, that's for sure!"

[Celes:] "Yes, but we also have four important
matches tonight, culminating in Match
number five of the Visper Karr/Haley
Cannon series, which is now tied at
two wins for each woman. We also have
a six woman tag match as a result of the
recent rivalry between the Dod family and
the Lana ... uh, group. Along with the
tie-breaker match between newcomer
Natalia Nogaard and DARKNESS Diva.
I wanted to open tonight's show with
Alicia Gordon's return to a Voltage ring,
but Mr. Figaro begged me to go to him
so that they can get their date underway."

[MJC:] "The sooner it starts, the sooner it ends."

[Celes:] "Good point. I think I will be able to work
with you just fine, Miss Carter. "

[MJC:] "Thanks!"


*We join our hungry heroes outside of TGIFigar...TGIFriday's a few minutes away from the Peter Venkman Memorial Arena in a rural section of Westchester County, NY. Kim is dressed in a garish evening gown, showing ample decolletage, accompanied by Mr. Figaro in a fake, partially painted-on tuxedo. Kat is wearing unassuming street clothes and Clyde has on his usual ninja attire. They get out of their prom-style limousine and approach the door. But prior to entering, Mr. Figaro looks frustratingly at Clyde and Kat.*

[Figaro:] "Do you two HAVE to wear your masks here!?"

[Clyde:] "We've been over this-"

[Kim:] "It's a ninja thing, like how non-ninja play hard-to-get" or something?

[Clyde:] "Something like that..."

**Sensing tension, as the intuitive hoss he is, Figaro quickly opens the door and ushers everyone in: as it would be tragic for this date to end before it even starts!*

[Figaro:] "Wow, look at this place, it's like a party in my pants...but outside of them instead, for once!"

[Clyde:] "How ironic.."

*The four go up to the maitre'd...well, the seating host...well, an annoyed looking, pseudo-professionally dressed 17 year old girl who is twirling chewing gum around her finger.*

[Figaro:] "Party of four!

[Host:] "Who is that under?"

[Figaro:] "Superman!"

*Kim looks down in humiliation as the host gets annoyed*

[Figaro:] "No, no, it's under "Ninja Love"

[Host:] "Sir, we really don't have tim-"

*Figaro points to the name on the guest list, and the host sighs, as do the other three members of our party. The host takes four menus...not realizing Figaro already swiped one under his jacket, and escorts them to their table, trying not to think too hard about whether or not Figaro was merely brushing up against her accidentally or trying to be her new baby-daddy when she was leading them."

[Figaro:] "What a table! You all love checkerboard patterns right!?"

[Kim:] "Maybe as a floor"

[Clyde:] "Truly an artistic masterpiece."

*Figaro pulls out the chair for Kim, making sure to lustfully stare down her dress as she sits down. He then glances at Clyde and winks in Kat's direction, expecting him to show her the same "gentlemanly" tendencies. However, Kat has already seated herself and Clyde does the same. Figaro looks at Kat and then passes a concerned glance and nod of the chin over to Kat, prompting Kim to lean in to her*

[Kim:] "So...Kat, there's no need to be nervous, we're all friends here"

*Kat nods in response. All four then settle down and begin looking at the menus. Figaro looks on in wonder, his mouth salivating as his eyes swap back and forth from the menu and Kim. The video ends and we go back to our commentators.*


[Celes:] "This is going to be a LONG night."

[MJC:] "Poor Kat and Clyde."

[Celes:] "I'd usually say those two can handle themselves,
but I'm a little concerned for their sanity."

[MJC:] "And ours."

[Celes:] "And that of our audience, I don't know how
much more of that they can handle and it's
just started. But luckily we are now ready for
our first match of the eveni-"

*Suddenly "Kick 'em when he's down" plays on the speakers
and OG-Joshi World Champion Holly walks through the curtains
with a smirk on her face. Celes stands up and gives her a look
along the lines of: "what the hell are you doing here?" but Holly
just waves to her...and then gestures backstage where none
other then OG-Joshi OWNER, OrochiGeese comes out next
to Holly, surveying the area. Holly smirks at Celes' surprise.*

[Holly:] "What? Carter's got ya tongue? Why the shock,
General? Ohhhhh, is it cause of HIM?"

*Holly laughs and then shakes her head disapprovingly at Celes*

[Holly:] "Do you really think I'm THAT stupid? You give
me so little credit and THAT's why your plans
keep backfiring. Case in point, you invited me
here tonight, isn't that correct?

*Celes nods her head and a confident look reappears*

[Holly:] "So OBVIOUSLY, given the brilliant strategists
we are,we figured you were gonna set me up to get
blindsided. Given the bloodthirsty, rabid state that
"Leesh" and "Blunder Tyke" have been in lately,
getting me here alone would be a great victory
for the "Charisma killers". But uh uh...ain't gonna
happen! *Holly waves her finger at Celes*

*Celes just glares at Holly and then gives Geese a blank look.
Finally, she picks up a microphone and sighs*

[Celes:] "Nice to see you, Geese. I'm surprised you
remember where you are right now. This
is OG-Joshi Voltage...welcome back. As
for you Holly, I had no designs to have you
ambushed and ruin my main event for the
Anniversary PPV. I'd be worthless if I couldn't
give the fans what they wanted, and they clearly
want to watch Alicia Gordon pummel you until
you've had enough and hand over your title.
As for tonight, I simply wanted to let you see
what you are up against, as our next match
of the evening involves Patty Sirloin against
Alicia Gordon. She's been training harder then
ever and she promised me that she'd put on
quite a show for all of us...including you. Oh
yes, I told you she'd be here...in fact she's
behind you right now."

*Holly flips out and jumps forward...only to find Celes
grinning and shaking her head jovially that Holly fell for
it. Geese calms Holly down and looks annoyed.*

Celes: "No, no. That won't do at all, will it?
Here you are, supposed to be the
champion, full of confidence and
dignity, and you jump at the slightest
mention of your challenger? How
disappointing. Luckily we won't
have to endure your reign of
embarrassment for much longer."

*Just then, some ruffling is heard in the crowd and
Alicia Gordon, accompanied by Thunder Strike emerges
from the front row. Celes looks on approvingly and then
begins signalling to the back area. Patty Sirloin then
comes out, and walks around Geese and Holly. Holly
tries to whisper something to Patty, who just looks at
her in total resentment. Geese then pulls out his
wallet and offers her some money...which gets her
stay in place while Holly discusses something with
her. Patty takes some money from Geese and Holly
winks at her. Then Patty goes down to the ramp to
the ring and begins warmng up in her corner as
Alicia and Thunder Strike confer. Celes sits back
down after giving another disapproving nod to
Holly and OrochiGeese, who remain on the ramp
getting ready to watch the next match which starts NOW!*


Match #1 - Alicia Gordon vs. Patty Sirloin [YouTube]


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[Celes:] "A strong match for Alicia Gordon. Patty
gave her some resistance but Alicia worked
through it and clinched a decisive victory."

[MJC:] "You gotta give Patty Sirloin credit here though,
she didn't go down easy when it looked like
Alicia had the match in her pocket early on."

[Celes:] "No, and that is exactly why I chose Patty
to be Alicia's opponent. She is a tough
girl, very resilient. Just when you think
you have her beaten, she comes back
for more. Jenna Stone, though victorious
over her, can attest to Patty's toughness
first hand. And I wanted to put that very
challenge against Alicia as she continues
to train for her Championship match."

[MJC:] "Good thinking, General! And Alicia
Gordon gets another big victory!"

Alicia Gordon (O) ["Axilicious" - 13:06] (X) Patty Sirloin


*On the ramp, OG looks annoyed and looks at his
wallet as if he just gave away free money for nothing*

[Celes:] "I don't know what they paid Patty to do, but
if it was to get beaten and made an example
of by Alicia, then she certainly earned her pay."

[MJC "Yelp...Alicia looked royally pissed off in this
match, General! And I don't think it was really
aimed at all at Patty. Alicia kept looking up at
the ramp in Holly's direction before she would
launch an offensive onslaught against Patty!"

[Celes:] "And why wouldn't she? For all we know, Holly
tried to get Patty to injure Alicia once more, just
as she had Juli do so last year. I don't think that
pre-match meeting with Patty helped her chances.
If anything, it just provided Alicia with a crystal clear
reminder of why she wants revenge on Holly."

[MJC:] "Patty put up a good fight but...as you said before,
Alicia looks READY for her TItle match."

[Celes:] "And judging by the pale expression on Holly's
face after that Axilicious, I think Holly is anything
BUT ready to face her challenger. A woman who
threatened to end Holly's career so that she can
no longer do to others what she did to Alicia."

[MJC "So you invited Holly here tonight just to spook her?"

[Celes:] "It's more then that, but I won't say that wasn't
a bonus. You see, Jean, when your opponent
can intimidate you like Alicia just did to Holly,
then you are at a disadvantage for your fight.
But most importantly, Holly just revealed
something she shouldn't have. By that
scared expression that she just showed,
she demonstrated that she doesn't have an
answer for Alicia's abilities. I suspected that
already, but I wanted to bring it out into the
open. I wanted Alicia to see that for herself.
By the time December 13th has arrived,
Holly will be so nervous that it is unlikely
she will even be able to move in the ring."

[MJC:] "Yikes..."

[Celes:] "Or in the hospital after the match is over..."

[MJC:] "DOUBLE YIKES!"

*Holly slowly walks backstage, looking as if she is
having balance problems. Geese follows her and
begins escorting her quickly backstage. Thunder
Strike gets into the ring and raises Alicia's hand,
while Patty Sirloin is helped to the back by trainers.*


[Celes:] "I am geting word that we are ready
for our next "installment" of restaurant
hijinks. Brace yourselves. fans."


*The OrochiTron turns on and we go back to the restaurant
where the four are still looking at their menus*

[Clyde:] "Is there anything on this menu that doesn't have "fun-time" tacked onto it's name?"

[Figaro:] "Yeah the "Fun time EXTREME" Garlic-tossed onion-cheesy fries!"

[Clyde:] "Can I just get regular rice?"

[Figaro:] "You mean sticky rice? Sorry Clyde, we're not up to THAT yet! You haven't even started talking to her!"

*Before Figaro can laugh and Clyde can respond, the waitress for the table approaches. She was still paying attention to a nearby table as she turned aroind but then GASPS at the sight of our four heroes.*

[Lori:] "Just what are YOU four doing here!?

*Figaro looks up in shock, clearly a funny fuse has been blown. Kim stares in disbelief and drops her menu. Kat and Clyde merely sit perfectly still, waiting for a confrontation."

[Figaro:] "Well if it isn't OG-Joshi's number one, and only, wrestler on the suspended list, Lori Cuozzo! *shouts louder to get the attention of other tables* "THE COOZE!"

*The rest of the restaurant turns around and Lori's head lowers a bit, her mouth contorting in rage. She tries her best to contain her anger, and channels it by twisting a menu that she is holding.*

[Figaro:] "A little bit of tension there, huh? I know - it must be hard to see fellow, more SUCCESSFUL wrestlers out on the town like this, living it up!"

*Lori makes note of Figaro's makeshift tuxedo and grimaces*

Clyde "Ms. Cuozzo, how long have you been working here?"

[Lori:] "Ahh, none of your business (?) .Just, what do you four WANT already?"

*Kim looks at the little pins on Lori's uniform*

[Kim:] "Nice...what is that called again? Flair? Nice flair there Lori, you pick those out yourself? The smiley face is very...you."

[Figaro:] "Stuck on the Cooze... aw, it's not fair to Flair!"

[Lori:] "How bout letting me do my damn job (?) "

[Figaro:] "If you had THAT attitude, Celes wouldn't have suspended y-"

[Clyde:] "I'd like to hear the specials for tonight."

*Lori reads through the specials, shooting Figaro an angry look when he laughs at her "jerk chicken" suggestion, then goes to leave the table.*

[Figaro:] "Oh barmaid, we'd like some spirits!!"

*Lori stops in her tracks and turns around to take their drink order*

[Figaro:] "I'd like sex on the beach...but I also want something to drink! BAM!"

[Kim:]: "Every single time..."

*Clyde nods to Kim and shakes his head in disappointment to Figaro.*

[Figaro:] "Tut tut now, I'd like one bottle of the 10th most expensive wine of the house!"

[Lori:] "So you want the second-cheapest wine (?)"

[Figaro:] "Huzzah for good fortune!"

[Clyde:] "I'll just have water."

*Kat nods her head at this as well*

[Figaro:] "Ohhhhh, isn't that CUTE!? Both of them like drinking the same thing!"

[Lori:] "Spring water or tap?"

[Clyde:] "Tap is fine."

[Figaro:] "Tap that ass!"

[Clyde:] "Must you embellish EVERYTHING?"

[Figaro:] "You set me up, I knock it down!"

[Lori:] "Just settle down and I'll get your orders (?)" *rolls her eyes*

"[Figaro:] "Don't take too long!" *Figaro sings out as Lori walks away*

*Figaro leans in to the table...especially in the direction of Kim's chest*

[Figaro:] "Can you BELEEEEVE she's working here?"

[Kim:] "Wasn't she a "respected" sportswoman? This seems a touch low, even for someone like her"

[Clyde:] "Just let her be, we don't need a scene tonight."

*Figaro then elbows Clyde* "Ahh, save the energy for later, eh?"

*At this point some of the other patrons in the restaurant begin staring at the four, which draws Figaro's attention. He then looks back at them and says loudly*

[Figaro:] ""What? Haven't you ever seen two ninjas dining with a goddess and a behemoth!?"

*The other people quickly go back to their conversations as Kim blushes a bit. We are then taken back to the commentators in the arena



[MJC:] "So uh, I guess THAT solves the mystery
of the "Missing Cooze!" It wasn't the
butler after all!"

[Celes:] "This won't end well tonight. I just hope
we aren't left with a bill for destroyed
property and an upside down restaurant."

[MJC:] "Upside down restaurant...how could that-"

[Celes:] "You've never seen Figaro angry. REALLY
angry. But, let's move on to our next match
for tonight, a six woman tag match."

[MJC:] "A whole restau-"

*Celes clears her throat and MJC snaps back to attention.*

[MJC:] "Yes, yes! And anyone who has been
following OG-Joshi for the past few months
knows that Jane Dod has had a bit of a MAJOR
rivalry with Lana which also has involved Eris
Byrne and Lisa Robinson. During the previous
Voltage, Lana and Jane wrestled in an amazing
match that Jane won with a huge avalanche
DDT But as big as that match and move was,
it didn't prepare us for what was to come."

*Video plays on the OrochiTron of Polly Dod's destructive
debut and knockouts of Lisa and Lana*

[Celes:] "Polly certainly made a huge impact upon
her debut, and there have been rumblings
in the locker room since then about the
danger of having Polly Dod in OG-Joshi."

[MJC:] "She's a top notch talent, a former PW-W
Women's Champion who was really never
actually beaten for that title. She has beaten
some of the best in the world of women's
wrestling and now has set her sights on
OG-Joshi, where she can team up with
her fellow Dod, Jane. I think she's like her
fourth cousin removed or something."

[Celes:] "I'm not concerned about their blood relation
but it is clear that those two combined are
a force. The entire tag team division should
be paying close attention to them, as should
those in top contention for the World Title.
But tonight, Jane and Polly are in this match
based on Lana and Lisa's desire for revenge.
As for Eris, she has worked with Jane in the
past against Lana and Lisa, and I felt she
would make an appropriate addition to their
team. Really, Eris's role in this rivalry has
helped bring it to this point. As if it were not
for Eris and Jane teaming on Amplitude and
bending the rules to hurt Lisa Robinson's leg,
we'd never have gotten to this point. As for
Juli Tanaka, she actually requested to be in
this match because she disapproved of
her opponent's behavior and tactics."

[MJC:] "Works for me!"

[Celes:] "So let us see what happens in Polly Dod's
first official OG-Joshi match, and whether or
not Lana and Lisa can get revenge."

[MJC:] "To the match!"


Match #2 - Eris Byrne/Jane Dod/Polly Dod vs. Juli Tanaka/Lisa Robinson/Lana [YouTube]



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[Celes:] "Polly Dod just dominated here. She totally
took control when she was in the ring,
successfully fighting off three opponents,
often at once. It is clear that she belongs
here in OG-Joshi. And I can only wonder
what could stop her after seeing her
"tour de force" of FORCE here."

[MJC:] "Had it not been for Jane asking for the tag,
to get in on the action, I think Polly could
have finished the match all by herself!"

[Celes:] "I hesitate to take it that far just because
Lana, Lisa, and Juli were getting stronger
as the match went on, but I don't doubt
that Polly was THE force in this match,
although Jane was masterful in achieving
victory with her inverted STF."


Eris/Polly/Jane (O) ["STF" - 19:56] (X) Lana/Juli/Lisa


[MJC:] "Eris could have had the match won on
a few occasions too, and she looked
extremely impressive."

[Celes:] "There are a lot of very talented up and
comers here in OG-Joshi right now, and
I am currently working on a plan to ensure
that everyone gets their proper exposure."

[MJC:] "What do you have in mind?"

[Celes:] "At the 12/13 Three Year Anniversary
Show, I will make an announcement
that will clarify my idea. Just know that
I have my eye on maximizing the usage
of everyone in OG-Joshi, and watching
this match further reinforces my plan."

[MJC:] "Sounds good!!"

[Celes:] "As for now, I do believe it is time for
a certain four to place their dinner order."

[OrochiGeese]

*MJC nods warily as the OrochiTron comes to life again. *By this time, Lori has come back with a tray of drinks. Figaro also starts to come down with a magical case of the sniffles, attempting to sneeze so that Lori spills her tray. Clyde kicks Figaro under the table, which just makes him flinch even more, but Lori shows the balance that only a top Roller Derby athlete has, and keeps hold of everything.*

[Lori:] "You gonna order now (?) "

[Figaro:] "I've had a chance to look at a LOT of things I like tonight *stares at Kim*, and a lot of things that make me lose my appetite *glares at Lori*. But, what would YOU suggest?"

[Lori:] "Get a burger (?)"

*Figaro rubs his chin with his finger, considering this option as if he were deciding between two top wines*

[Figaro:] "A burger does sound tempting. Can I get the "Mouthful of fun" 2 pound Beefburger with EVERYTHING on it, with a side of cajun chili fries, a painfully overstuffed potato, some seasonal riblets, a double deep fried, batter chickenwich, and one piece of lettuce..as I'm watching my weight."

[Lori:] "Yeah, the "Bypass Special (?)"

[Figaro:] "AYE! A hearty meal for an emotional guy!"

*Lori turns to Kim*

[Kim:] "Poulet a la pomme in a dry white wine sauce."

[Lori:] "You think we have that here (?)"

[Kim:] *dejected* "...green salad."

*Lori turns to Kat*

[Kat:] "I'd like -

*Suddenly, Kim interrupts*

[Kim:] "Oh, can I get another of these Long Island Iced Teas?"

[Figaro:] "Such a magical drink that is, I wonder if said Long Island exists!?"

[Clydei:] "We're 30 minutes away from it.."

[Figaro:] "How quaint!"

*Lori turns to Clyde*

[Clyde:] "I'll just have a bowl of rice and a piece of grilled chicken."

*Lori listens to his order which prompts Kim to look annoyed and glare at her*

[Kim:] "Are you writing this down? We won't tip if it's incorrect"

[Figaro:] "BOORRRRRING! Clyde, you NEED to have these fried popper critters, there's elk in them! REAL ELK!! Also, top it off with a sunshine sea smoothie, and maybe a chocolate pork rind fajita! You'll be south of the border in no time, lil buddy!"

[Clyde:] "Rice and chicken are FINE. Also, Kat didn't get to order."

[Figaro:] "OHMIGASH! LOOK AT CLYDE STICKING UP FOR HIS GIRL!"

*Lori covers her ears at Figaro's loud proclamations, which prompts a surprised look on Kim's face.*

[Kim:] "Figaro's words too loud for the Scream Queen?"

[Figaro:] "I knew a girl named the Scream Queen in Thailand-"

*Lori turns to Kat who looks ready to order*

[Lori:] "Your turn already (?)"

[Figaro:] <stage whisper> I think she's too distracted by Clyde's ninja footwork.

[Figaro:]* "Didn't I say no "ninja footsie" until AFTER the appetizers, Clyde!?"

[Clyde:] "I do remember ignoring something to that effect."

[Figaro:] "Clearly!"

*Lori visibly shrugs* "We got a whole restaurant full of people, I'm very busy (?)"

[Figaro:] "When you are OUR waitress, no one exists except us! Now, I'm very sorry Kat, but SHE *points to Lori* keeps interrupting you. What do you want to DINE on, tonight, besides my friend?"

*Mr. Clyde looks down in shame*

[Kat:] " "I'll have what he's having."

[Figaro:] "OH MY GOODNESS! Kim, did you hear that!? They want to share their soul through their love of bland, non-toxic food! Have you EVER seen anything more romantic!?"

[Kim:] "It's 'sickening', like some other things around here..." *As Kim's eyes dart to Lori and quickly away with a scowl*

And with that, Lori quickly marches away from the table as Figaro and Kim share a grin*

*Back to the commentators and MJC has her teeth clenched in stress from watching the video as Celes just looks on disappointedly*


[MJC:] "He really wants a fight, doesn't he?"

[Celes:] "I can't think of anyone Figaro dislikes on
this roster more then Lori Cuozzo."

[MJC:] "Aside from that, I do think it's cute that
Clyde and Kat ordered the same thing."

*Celes glares at MJC, clearly shocked she's going
along with this charade.*

[MJC:] 'Uh, I mean...it's good that they both
ordered something healthy, unlike
Figaro's "Bucket o' elk and hog fat!"

[Celes:] "Fair enough. But now let us get to
the next match, as Natalia Nogaard
and DARKNESS Diva seek to end
their rivalry by trying to defeat the
other one in this match. Diva
won their first match and Natalia
won their second one. They both
know what to expect from each other
now so there can be no excuses for
the one that loses this match. I
will say that for two women not
quite on the main event level, they
have both provided a level of quality
competition for everyone to watch."

[MJC:] "This rivalry has seemed to energize
DARKNESS Diva, who was in a bit
of a slump beforehand. But, we also
have the new Natalia who certainly
wants her first rivalry in OG-Joshi to
be ended in victory for her"

[Celes:] "I've been very impressed with Natalia's
skillset up to this point. She has a very
varied style of offence but very focused
goals in that ring. That is the type of
wrestler who can be quite dangerous.
Meanwhile, as you said, something about
this feud has brought out the best in the
usually meek and scared, DARKNESS
Diva. A woman who makes her strongest
impression by capitalizing her name."

[MJC:] *Giggles*

[Celes:] "But perhaps Diva will pull herself together
as she did for her first match and wrest
victory from this newcomer. It is now time
to find out just who will be triumphant."


Match #3 - Natalia Nogaard vs. DARKNESS Diva [YouTube]



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[Celes:] "Both women brought their very best
here tonight, and it showed in their
refusal to give up. Neither one would
stay down or submit to the other one's
will, and they kept coming back for more.

[MJC:] "It was Natalia who had to use some quick
thinking to surprise Diva with a small package
out of nowhere to hold her down for that win."

Natalia Nogaard (O) [Small package- 19:40] (X) Darkness Diva


[Celes:] "And once again I am impressed with Natalia's
ability to withstand Diva's figure four leglock
and other potential match ending moves."

[MJC:] "Natalia took a page out of Diva's book here,
beating her with a quick flash pin. You can
tell both wrestlers were getting frustrated
due to not being able to finish the other one
off with one of their specialty moves. But
it was Natalia who had the poise to decide
to improvise and grab a victory her way."

[Celes:] "And as we've seen from watching the
Haley/Visper series, when you are up
against an opponent with equal will and
even skill, you sometimes have to change
up your plan and get a victory in a way that
you wouldn't normally try for. But a victory
such as this one, is no less impressive as
it shows that kind of quick thinking that top
wrestlers are known to have. So my
congratulations go out to Natalia Nogaar-"


*Suddenly, Yoyo Banzai comes running out to ringside.*


[MJC:] "What is SHE doing here!?"

[Celes:] "I believe that she is a close ally of
Diva, although the nature of that
friendship is often called into question
due to Yoyo's cruelty. We saw that last
show when Yoyo berated Diva for losing
to Natalia. And it looks as if we are going
to see that same behavior again tonight."

[MJC:] "Or worse..."

*Yoyo gets into the ring and IMMEDIATELY sends
Natalia down with a big flying knee! She then mounts
her and begins punching her as she screams at Diva:
"This is how you take her out!"

[Celes:] "This is uncalled for."

[MJC:] "Natalia just got a huge win and now
she has to get punished for it just
cause Yoyo was unhappy with how
her ally lost. This isn't right, General!"

[Celes:] "Luckily it appears it won't be for long."

[MJC:] "Wait...oh yes! YEA!"

*MJC stands up and cheers for a new participant
in the fray who has run down to stop the post-match
attack! It's Jenna Stone!! She jumps into the ring and
hits a flying shoulder tackle on Yoyo with such force that
it literally sends Yoyo flying out of the ring between the
1st and second rope!! Jenna looks on, a bit surprised
at her own strength, but content with her actions. Then
she is attacked from behind by Diva, who couldn't
muster up the energy to even make Jenna FLINCH
from her dropkick. Jenna turns around, grabs Diva,
and then gorilla presses her outside onto Yoyo,
sending them both crashing onto the arena floor!
Jenna then helps Natalia off the mat and holds her
hand up in victory as the crowd applauds them!*

[Celes:] "I am glad I got to experience this first-hand
out here. That is the spirit of OG-Joshi
right in front of us. The competitive spirit
of Natalia and the spirit of respect and
justice of Jenna Stone. Natalia just had
a great victory and Jenna has once again
impressed me greatly with her skills and
attitude. Both of them will go far here."

[MJC:] "It appears Yoyo Banzai disagrees with
you, or at least, wants to put a stop to
their potential. Oooh, General, can I
make a match for next Voltage!?"

[Celes:] "I suppose I was going to make it
anyway after what we just saw...
so go ahead, you've done a fine
job so far tonight."

[MJC:] "Ok, ok! Patata Frita vs. Tigress Mask!"

*Celes looks on, dumbfoundedly*

[Celes:] "I don't think I even know where
to START pointing out the flaws-"

*MJC starts to crack up laughing*

[MJC:] "Just kidding, just kidding!! I
really mean Jenna Stone and
Natalia Nogaard against Yoyo
Banzai and DARKNESS Diva!"

[Celes:] "Yes...that sounds much more
appropriate, and less insane."

[MJC:] "YEA!"

[Celes:] "And speaking of insane..."


*Celes points to the OrochiTron and snaps her fingers.
A second later we see Mr. Figaro who is tapping rhythmically
on the dinner table, in an annoying fashion*


[Clyde:] "Learn some patience."

[Figaro:] "I live in the NOW, Clyde, not in the later!"

[Clyde:] "So would you quiet down, NOW, then?"

[Figaro:] "Stop talking to me, and flirt with your date!"

*Clyde and Kat both freeze at the name "date"*

[Figaro:] "Since you two are ordering the same thing, aren't you gonna share your salt?"

[Kim:] "Figgy, we've spoken about talking like that with ladies present"

[Figaro:] "No, no my dear! It's not like that! Ask Clyde, he actually carries around salt packets..."

[Clyde:] "The buffoon is correct. I have special salt packets for..."activities" that are best left unspoken of. But they also double as food condiments."

[Figaro:] "By "activities", he means NINJA'ing all day and ESPECIALLY all night...but Kat knows all ABOUT that!"

[Clyde:] "She doesn't and I doubt she wants to know."

[Figaro:] "Oh Clyde, trying to be such a gentleman! Look Kim, our little ninja is growing up!"

[Clyde:] "I'm older then you."

[Figaro:] "Pishposh, age means nothing when LOVE is concerned!"

[Clyde:] "That makes no sense.."

[Figaro:] "Nor does sense! Logic and rationale are useless weapons in the fight to the heavens that is love!"[Clyde:] "Wow, you've really had way too much cheap wine, even for you."

[Figaro:] "Not enough, not enough by far!"

*Figaro calls out "WINE" at the top of his lungs to whoever will hear him. We hear Lori's voice from the kitchen* "I'll be with ya's in a minute with the food*

[Figaro:] "I'm STARVING here, Cooze!! Why must you starve my table!? We already have two ninjas starving here...for LOVE!"

*The other patrons try to look away from the scene*

[Clyde:] "We've been waiting for only five minutes...for FOOD, that is."

[Figaro:] "But that's a LIFETIME for a man with an appetite *looks at Kim* like mine!"


[MJC:] "That uh...wasn't so bad, right? RIGHT!?"

[Celes:] "You have much to learn. What we just saw,
when dealing wtih Figaro in mind, is what
Clyde and I call: "The calm before the storm."

*MJC winces*

[Celes:] "But seeing as we still have some time until
that storm, let us fill it up with something
valuable enough to lessen the eventual
blow that Figaro will undoubtetly deliver
to our collective sanity."

[MJC:] "Not totally sure what you said there but ok."

[Celes:] "That's just fine. This will all be a blur to
you tomorrow morning, anyway. Now, onto
the main event. We are up to the fifth match
in the "Best of 7 series" between Haley Cannon
and Visper Karr. Haley won the first two matches
and Visper won the second two. So we are now
once again tied, just like at the start. But, do not
operate under the delusion that the first four matches
were not useful, as they served the important purpose
of getting both women ready for the final matchs.
Much like I said that Diva and Talia were finally
READY for each other by their third match, I
think that goes for Visper and Haley for their
fifth. That is because these two have such
deep styles and strategies that I believe they
are finally completely prepared to face each
other with little surprise left. It also means that
if either of the two wreslters DO have a surprise
stored up, they know enough about their
opponent to integrate that surprise more
strategically then they would have earlier on."

[MJC:] "I was so going to say all that."

[Celes:] "Good. Visper earned her two victories using
her blinding speed and technical ability,
catching Haley off balance and by surprise
much as Natalia caught Diva earlier on.
Haley earned her two victories by submission.
In one instance, Visper actually passed out
to one of Haley's neck submissions. In the
other, Haley broke Visper's arm. So this
is an interesting point for both women to be
at. On one hand, Haley's victories were more
forceful, painful, and perhaps even decisive.
But on the other hand, Visper has regained
her momentum by winning the previous two
matches to tie the series. Visper knows what
kind of damage Haley can do to her, but Haley
knows that Visper is now capable of beating
her despite the excruciating pain that Haley
can bring to her. The mental edge here can
go either way, but the battle of wills is likely
equal. And now, it is once again my pleasure
to be the referee for this match."

[MJC:] "It's cool you get to do that. Are you really
scouting them both for potential World
Title shots for once this series ends?"

[Celes:] "My reasons for being a referee in this
series are three-fold. One, I believe I
know how to referee one of Haley's
matches more then any other ref
here, because of my background in
actual combat. Two, I am, as you
said, scouting both women. The
winner of this series will be on the
road to a World Title shot once the
Alicia/Holly situation is taken care of.
Thirdly, the Visper/Haley series is one
of the flagship rivalries right now in
OG-Joshi that represents everything
we are about: competition. As such,
I did not want to run the risk of having
anyone interfere in this match. Simply
put, if any wrestler tries to disturb this
sacred battle, I will see to it that they
will have difficulty swallowing food."

[MJC:] "Good thing Figaro interrupted the Kat/Kim
tag match and not one of these, then!"

[Celes:] "Actually, it would be better for Figaro
not to be eating what is ordered tonight.
But we'll deal with THAT later. For now,
I must go to the ring. I'll see you after
the match, as I won't allow you to have
to sit through the final chapter of a
certain date without proper supervision."

*MJC nods gratefully as Celes walks to the ring,
followed by each of the combatants in this match.*


Match #4 - Visper Karr vs. Haley Cannon [YouTube]



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*Celes walks back to the commentary booth*


[Celes:] "Haley Cannon has just picked up a
very impressive victory. As I mentioned
before, she won both her matches by
submission. And tonight, she added yet
another one of Visper's body parts to the
list of punished limbs, Visper's leg."

[MJC:] "That rolling, jumping, flying, warping
cross legbreaker looked PAINFUL!"


Visper Karr (O) [Jumping cross legbreaker - 17:43] (X) Haley Cannon


[Celes:] "I must admit something. I was and still
am absolutely shocked that Haley Cannon
was able to survive Visper's offence at the
end of that match. Visper hit Haley with
two tiger drivers and various flash pins,
and yet Haley still kicked out. A referee of
lesser confidence would have immediately
questioned her own counting ability, but
Haley certainly had me questioning the
reality of what I was seeing. Visper was
strong all match and for Haley to kick out
of those final moves, right in the middle of
the ring, and right in front of me, it was
truly inspiring. Haley won this match
through her perseverance and grit."

[MJC:] "Not to mention an ace rolling leg lock!"

[Celes:] "That too. As someone who was closer
then anyone else to the action, I saw
the frustration on Visper's face at the
end of that match. While I wouldn't say
she gave up, she was visibly physically
and mentally tired at the end. And to make
matters worse, I think Haley's resilience
might have spurred her on to get her head
back in the game and finish the match with
all she had left, which was just enough to
take advantage of the damage she had
done to Visper's leg and body during the
course of the match. Visper's leg was
weakened throughout the match which
made her easier prey to that submission."

[MJC:] "And also took away Visper's main offensive
weapon. We'll see if Visper can bounce back
and heal her leg by the time their next match
rolls around. With Haley now one victory
away from winning this series, this is NOT
the time for Visper to be missing her primary
strength or be susceptible to Haley's finisher,
the leg-breaking Lancashire Death Trap!

[Celes:] "Good point."

[MJC:] "Thanks!"

[Celes:] "And now I am being informed that the our
friends at the restaurant are about to be
served their meals. I apologize in advance
to all of our fans, as this will likely be messy."

[MJC:] "Figaro isn't exactly a clean eater, is he?"

[Celes:] "That's not what I meant, but no...no he isn't."



*The OrochiTron turns on again and we see our four diners.
Lori comes out from the double doors of the kitchen, carrying
a big round serving tray adorned with various foodstuffs. She
walks over to the table and begins to attempt to serve the four*

[Kim:] "Lori...you really weren't cut out to be a wrestler, you're clearly in your element in the service industry"

[Figaro:] "I agree with Kimmykins! You really ARE at your best when you're taking orders from us, Cooze!"

*Lori starts visibly shaking, but has enough self-control to place an order of lukewarm "spaghetti and meatballs" in front of Clyde*

[Clyde:] "I think I ordered the chicken and rice-"

*Lori then places ANOTHER order of spaghetti and meatballs in front of Kat, and then Kim.*

[Figaro:] "THE OUTRAGE! They did not order THAT!"

[Lori:] "It's all the kitchen has left."

[Kim:] "All you have left?! ALL YOU HAVE LEFT!? First you don't have what I want and now you don't even have a salad?!" *looks at Kat and Clyde* "..or rice?!"

[Lori:] "Just calm down and -"

[Figaro:] "She will not calm down! This is an OUTRAGE!"
[Clyde:] "You already said that-"

[Figaro:] "Did you not understand our orders, Cooze!? Why can't you follow orders!?"

[Lori:] "I got them fine, we just didn't have-"

[Figaro:] "The good sense to bring Miss Cross' food the way she demanded it!"

[Kim:] "Just like you didn't have the good sense to behave in OG-Joshi"

[Lori:] "Behave? BEHAVE? It wasn't my fault that this caveman taunted me and got me thrown out!"

[Figaro:] "Caveman!? *suddenly Figaro dons the top hat and monacle setup he pulled out on a recent Voltage" I'll have you know I'm a Yale man!"

[Clyde:] "Reading the word Yale in a magazine doesn't count-"

[Kim:] "If anyone is from prehistoric times, its our slack jawed server"

*Lori throws her tray down, resulting in the final plate of spaghetti and meatballs flying off it and landing right on Figaro's head! Kim stands up but is grabbed first by Lori who throws her on the table*

[Figaro:] "MY EYES! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET SPAGHETTI SAUCE IN THEM!"

*Lori and Kim are now rolling on the table, trying to gain control over the other, as Figaro wipes the spaghetti stands out of his eyes to see the commotion. Kim finally gets top mount but as she rears back to punch Lori, her elbow accidentally smashes Kat in the chin, knocking her over and out of view.*

[Figaro:] "What's happening!? I can only see tomato PAIN!"

*As Figaro finally regains his vision, he's joined by restaurant security (assorted busboy and waiters) and seperates a screaming Kim from a shrieking Lori.*

[Figaro:] "Clyde, help me out...Clyde?"

*Figaro looks around and Mr. Clyde has VANISHED! Kim then looks about to find no signs left of Kat!*

[Figaro:] "You think?"

[Kim:] "Together?"

[Figaro:] "Your fight must have gotten them in the mood!"


*Jean and Celes look at each other in silence. Celes simply shrugs her shoulders*

[Celes:] "And that is our show for tonight. I'm sure...
TOO sure...that we will hear more from all
four of them in the coming weeks, especially
since Kat and Kim have a tag match against
the Reed Sisters scheduled for our next
Voltage in November. Until then..."

[MJC:] "Until then, I feel sorry for YOU who will have to
hear Figaro and Clyde argue for the next month!"

[Celes:]: "I appreciate your concern..you have no idea
what I have ahead of me...it's already starting."

*Celes' cell phone rings and she flashes it to the camera,
showing"Mr. Figaro" on the caller ID. Celes sighs*

[Celes:] "See you in a month, fans and be sure
to catch this month's "Damagecast"
from New Damage Pro Wrestling for
an important announcement regarding
OG-Joshi and two specific wrestlers."

[MJC:]: "And thanks for joining us tonight!"

*Fin*