Truths and Assumptions!
Feb 16, 2007 3:53:00 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 16, 2007 3:53:00 GMT -5
The camera fades in on a silhouetted figure sitting sideways from the camera, showing the instantly recognisable profile of the one and only Kim Cross! The light comes on revealing Kim in her leather learning aid gear, thigh-high boots and all (pic soon). She turns to address the camera...
Kim: "Hello all! I know what you're thinking, poor Kim's face, it was so brutally damaged, how is it that she is, despite being perfect in everyway already, definitely even more beautiful than before? I'll tell you! As beautiful and perfect as I am, I've had to work hard for it and that has involved more than a few broken bones and noses, as you all know from the factfile section in the Kim Cross 2006 Annual.."
Kim pulls out a thick hardcover book
"Available at all good bookshops, and some terrible ones and one absolutely awful one, but don't worry if books frighten you because of all the words, it also has some delightful pictures of everyone's favourite rising star administering various holds and locks to our very own Mr. Figaro."
Kim shows some pictures to the camera, most of which involve Mr. Figaro grinning manically as Kim applies a Crossface or Cross armbreaker, though there is a quick glimpse of a rather unorthodox reverse sleeper hold before Kim shuts the book.
"Ahahaha, that one's a bit, um, mature for this segment so you'll have to buy the book, not that you haven't already. Now then, as I was saying, the book lists my various achievements, and no small number involve MMA tournaments and titles, which are violent and bloody at the best of times and I've had my fair share of bumps and bruises, so Lana's certainly not the first to break a regal nose of mine, and I'm sure she won't be the last.
But enough talk about my beautiful visage, I'm here to let you all know that you'll soon be seeing alot more of me in the coming weeks (though not in the same way we'll be seeing more of Lana) due to the superbly envisioned section of the show...Kim's Truths and Assumptions!"
A rather ridiculous vt involving "Kim's T & A" written in giant letters framing a giant picture of Kim's face runs for a few seconds whilst her theme music plays in the background.
"That's right folks! The show that dares to ask all the tough questions everyone wants to know the answer to!
Do the tag teams really get on as well as they seem?
What's the secret behind KENTA!'s popularity?
How is Azumi so pink?
Will Kat Black and Mr. Clyde's baby be raised in the ninja tradition?
What the hell is SleepyGoose anyway?
Will Kim's career continue to skyrocket as much as Lana's waistline? Ha, I joke, everyone knows nothing can skyrocket like that!
My first guest at our secret location will be the wonderful General Celes, see you at the next Voltage!"
Kim blows a kiss as we fade out.
Kim: "Hello all! I know what you're thinking, poor Kim's face, it was so brutally damaged, how is it that she is, despite being perfect in everyway already, definitely even more beautiful than before? I'll tell you! As beautiful and perfect as I am, I've had to work hard for it and that has involved more than a few broken bones and noses, as you all know from the factfile section in the Kim Cross 2006 Annual.."
Kim pulls out a thick hardcover book
"Available at all good bookshops, and some terrible ones and one absolutely awful one, but don't worry if books frighten you because of all the words, it also has some delightful pictures of everyone's favourite rising star administering various holds and locks to our very own Mr. Figaro."
Kim shows some pictures to the camera, most of which involve Mr. Figaro grinning manically as Kim applies a Crossface or Cross armbreaker, though there is a quick glimpse of a rather unorthodox reverse sleeper hold before Kim shuts the book.
"Ahahaha, that one's a bit, um, mature for this segment so you'll have to buy the book, not that you haven't already. Now then, as I was saying, the book lists my various achievements, and no small number involve MMA tournaments and titles, which are violent and bloody at the best of times and I've had my fair share of bumps and bruises, so Lana's certainly not the first to break a regal nose of mine, and I'm sure she won't be the last.
But enough talk about my beautiful visage, I'm here to let you all know that you'll soon be seeing alot more of me in the coming weeks (though not in the same way we'll be seeing more of Lana) due to the superbly envisioned section of the show...Kim's Truths and Assumptions!"
A rather ridiculous vt involving "Kim's T & A" written in giant letters framing a giant picture of Kim's face runs for a few seconds whilst her theme music plays in the background.
"That's right folks! The show that dares to ask all the tough questions everyone wants to know the answer to!
Do the tag teams really get on as well as they seem?
What's the secret behind KENTA!'s popularity?
How is Azumi so pink?
Will Kat Black and Mr. Clyde's baby be raised in the ninja tradition?
What the hell is SleepyGoose anyway?
Will Kim's career continue to skyrocket as much as Lana's waistline? Ha, I joke, everyone knows nothing can skyrocket like that!
My first guest at our secret location will be the wonderful General Celes, see you at the next Voltage!"
Kim blows a kiss as we fade out.
