Holly o_O
Feb 16, 2007 2:43:43 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 16, 2007 2:43:43 GMT -5
*It is 10am as Holly is enjoying her morning coffee at Orochi-O's, Inc. She sees a package on her desk left by Mr. Clyde. It says "you may want to watch this." Holly opens the package to find a VHS tape labeled "Lana"*
Holly: "Must be about the new OG-Joshi girl...ok, well if Clyde thinks I should check this out...
*Holly places the VHS in her VCR and presses play*
*Holly continued drinking her coffee when this scene on the tape occurs*
-----------------
Lana scoots close to the man and rests her head on his shoulder.
[Lana:] Ah, you'll do whatever it is that you need to do, KP.
a-ha! so, this mystery man is none other than eWrestling LEGEND Kingpin! swerve! SWERVE!
-----------------
*Holly does perhaps the biggest coffee spit take in the history of EVER. Seriously, this spittake could have gotten her a lifetime career in the porn industry. After the momentous spit, Holly is silent but her eyes are wide open in a state of shock. After she composes herself a bit, she utters...*
Holly: "KP...Kingpin...KIP....Jo Ryder's...
*Holly begins hyperventiliating*
Holly: "Too much pressure...so many funny things to say...i'm...oh sh*t...
*Holly completely calms down, even looks despondent for a second*
Holly: "I gotta...i gotta get out of here"
*Holly runs outside her office, in a bit of a panic, and finds the closest person in the hallway*
Holly: "Slap me..."
*The random employee runs away, fearing his job in the balance. Holly goes up to Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde who are chatting in the hallway*
Holly: "Guys, you HAVE to slap me, right now!"
Mr. Clyde: "Looks like you saw the tape. But we're not hitting you."
Mr. Figaro: "I know someone who would though..."
*Mr. Figaro points Holly to Celes' door*
Holly: "I...I guess it's the only way. Fine."
*Holly runs to Celes' door and barges into her office. Celes stands up and opens her mouth to protest but Holly runs up to her, grabs her by the shirt, and gets right in her face.*
Holly: "Bitch...slap me NOW...you HAVE to slap me NOW!"
*Celes wastes no time and wallops Holly with an audible SHARP slap across her face. Holly is sent careening backwards onto the couch, leaving Celes with a confused but very satisfied smile on her face*
Celes: "Well, now that we are even for your barging in and disrespectful wordplay...may I ask what this is all about? Or may I continue my assault?"
*Celes' eyes widen at the possibilities. Holly shakes her head a bit...and then a big smile comes across her face as she stares down at the ground*
Holly: "No, I'm fine now. I...I saw something. I saw something and then...a million funny thoughts ran through my head...and I..I blew..."
Celes: "Oh no....I will NOT stand to hear of your sexual exploits!"
Holly: "No..i blew a FUNNY FUSE."
Celes: "Excuse me?"
Holly: "I blew a 'funny fuse'. I guess you don't know what that is since you have like no sense of humor, or personality...or sexual appeal...but anyway, I was so TOTALLY overwhelmed by humor that I was paralyzed by it's joke potential! And I never thought I'd find anything else funny again. But..."
Celes: "Are we quite finished here? Or do I get to slap you again?"
Holly: "No, I mean, we're done. Thanks for um...slapping me. Let's just act like this never happened."
Celes: "Agreed."
*Celes shudders at the idea that her slap actually HELPED Holly. In the meantime, Holly runs back to Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde with a big smile on her face*
Mr. Figaro: "So what is this all about?"
Holly: "I think Kip, Jo Ryder's old flame...the guy she is OBSESSED over...
*Holly gets one of the biggest smiles on her face she's ever had*
Holly: "I think he used to put his special sauce on Lana's McNuggets..."
*This analogy makes even Mr. Figaro turn pale and causes Mr. Clyde to walk away disgusted*
Holly: "Lana...the new wrestler in OG-Joshi knows Jo Ryder's old boyfriend!! Who knows the things they did together!"
Mr. Figaro: "Sauce...on her Mc..McNuggets?"
Holly: "Oh Jo Ryder...she must have been watching Lana's talk with Kip. Dizzy had to have been and I'm sure Jo did too! This is great!! Jo Ryder, we found your Kip!! And he's sitting in some parking lot after sticking his Big Mac in Lana's buns!!"
*Holly is literally, i mean quite literally, rolling on the floor laughing. This commotion causes OrochiGeese to come out of his office to observe what is going on.*
OG: "What is going on here?"
Holly: "Kip...Jo Ryder...special sauce!!"
Mr. Figaro: "I think she's finally lost her mind, sir."
OG: "See to it that it's found immediately, then. She's causing a scene."
*OG walks away as Holly is beating her hand against one of the walls in uncontrollable laughter*
Holly: "Kip...Kip was tired of Jo Ryder so he got his hook ready for Lana's McFish!"
*Holly is laughing so hard she is actually snorting*
Mr. Figaro: "Hol.."
Holly: "No more vanilla Kip shakes for Jo Ryder!"
Mr. Figaro: "It's getting old now..."
Holly: "I don't care! We found Kip!! Jo Ryder, we found him! Go run to him and proclaim your love!! This is so romantic! Maybe you can propose to him in a...*laughter seeps in* Taco Bell parking lot!"
*Holly runs to her office, shuts the door, and heavy laughter is heard for about 2 hours. A crowd of employees gathers around her office in shock throughout. Finally, Holly settles down...until...
Holly: "I wonder if Jo Ryder's apple pie just wasn't hot enough for him!"
*Holly continues laughing as the other employees walk away disgusted.*
Holly: "Must be about the new OG-Joshi girl...ok, well if Clyde thinks I should check this out...
*Holly places the VHS in her VCR and presses play*
*Holly continued drinking her coffee when this scene on the tape occurs*
-----------------
Lana scoots close to the man and rests her head on his shoulder.
[Lana:] Ah, you'll do whatever it is that you need to do, KP.
a-ha! so, this mystery man is none other than eWrestling LEGEND Kingpin! swerve! SWERVE!
-----------------
*Holly does perhaps the biggest coffee spit take in the history of EVER. Seriously, this spittake could have gotten her a lifetime career in the porn industry. After the momentous spit, Holly is silent but her eyes are wide open in a state of shock. After she composes herself a bit, she utters...*
Holly: "KP...Kingpin...KIP....Jo Ryder's...
*Holly begins hyperventiliating*
Holly: "Too much pressure...so many funny things to say...i'm...oh sh*t...
*Holly completely calms down, even looks despondent for a second*
Holly: "I gotta...i gotta get out of here"
*Holly runs outside her office, in a bit of a panic, and finds the closest person in the hallway*
Holly: "Slap me..."
*The random employee runs away, fearing his job in the balance. Holly goes up to Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde who are chatting in the hallway*
Holly: "Guys, you HAVE to slap me, right now!"
Mr. Clyde: "Looks like you saw the tape. But we're not hitting you."
Mr. Figaro: "I know someone who would though..."
*Mr. Figaro points Holly to Celes' door*
Holly: "I...I guess it's the only way. Fine."
*Holly runs to Celes' door and barges into her office. Celes stands up and opens her mouth to protest but Holly runs up to her, grabs her by the shirt, and gets right in her face.*
Holly: "Bitch...slap me NOW...you HAVE to slap me NOW!"
*Celes wastes no time and wallops Holly with an audible SHARP slap across her face. Holly is sent careening backwards onto the couch, leaving Celes with a confused but very satisfied smile on her face*
Celes: "Well, now that we are even for your barging in and disrespectful wordplay...may I ask what this is all about? Or may I continue my assault?"
*Celes' eyes widen at the possibilities. Holly shakes her head a bit...and then a big smile comes across her face as she stares down at the ground*
Holly: "No, I'm fine now. I...I saw something. I saw something and then...a million funny thoughts ran through my head...and I..I blew..."
Celes: "Oh no....I will NOT stand to hear of your sexual exploits!"
Holly: "No..i blew a FUNNY FUSE."
Celes: "Excuse me?"
Holly: "I blew a 'funny fuse'. I guess you don't know what that is since you have like no sense of humor, or personality...or sexual appeal...but anyway, I was so TOTALLY overwhelmed by humor that I was paralyzed by it's joke potential! And I never thought I'd find anything else funny again. But..."
Celes: "Are we quite finished here? Or do I get to slap you again?"
Holly: "No, I mean, we're done. Thanks for um...slapping me. Let's just act like this never happened."
Celes: "Agreed."
*Celes shudders at the idea that her slap actually HELPED Holly. In the meantime, Holly runs back to Mr. Figaro and Mr. Clyde with a big smile on her face*
Mr. Figaro: "So what is this all about?"
Holly: "I think Kip, Jo Ryder's old flame...the guy she is OBSESSED over...
*Holly gets one of the biggest smiles on her face she's ever had*
Holly: "I think he used to put his special sauce on Lana's McNuggets..."
*This analogy makes even Mr. Figaro turn pale and causes Mr. Clyde to walk away disgusted*
Holly: "Lana...the new wrestler in OG-Joshi knows Jo Ryder's old boyfriend!! Who knows the things they did together!"
Mr. Figaro: "Sauce...on her Mc..McNuggets?"
Holly: "Oh Jo Ryder...she must have been watching Lana's talk with Kip. Dizzy had to have been and I'm sure Jo did too! This is great!! Jo Ryder, we found your Kip!! And he's sitting in some parking lot after sticking his Big Mac in Lana's buns!!"
*Holly is literally, i mean quite literally, rolling on the floor laughing. This commotion causes OrochiGeese to come out of his office to observe what is going on.*
OG: "What is going on here?"
Holly: "Kip...Jo Ryder...special sauce!!"
Mr. Figaro: "I think she's finally lost her mind, sir."
OG: "See to it that it's found immediately, then. She's causing a scene."
*OG walks away as Holly is beating her hand against one of the walls in uncontrollable laughter*
Holly: "Kip...Kip was tired of Jo Ryder so he got his hook ready for Lana's McFish!"
*Holly is laughing so hard she is actually snorting*
Mr. Figaro: "Hol.."
Holly: "No more vanilla Kip shakes for Jo Ryder!"
Mr. Figaro: "It's getting old now..."
Holly: "I don't care! We found Kip!! Jo Ryder, we found him! Go run to him and proclaim your love!! This is so romantic! Maybe you can propose to him in a...*laughter seeps in* Taco Bell parking lot!"
*Holly runs to her office, shuts the door, and heavy laughter is heard for about 2 hours. A crowd of employees gathers around her office in shock throughout. Finally, Holly settles down...until...
Holly: "I wonder if Jo Ryder's apple pie just wasn't hot enough for him!"
*Holly continues laughing as the other employees walk away disgusted.*