Spring has Sprung
May 29, 2020 1:33:03 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on May 29, 2020 1:33:03 GMT -5
*We fade into a living room in a modest but comfortable two bedroom apartment in New York City. Sitting on the couch, wearing OG-Joshi branded workout gear, is Robin "Holly" Walker. She has just finished a glass of water and stands up to do some light exercises. The expression on her face suggests a mild impatience that things are not exactly as they should be so she walks over to the window. Upon opening it she stretches backward and takes a long deep breath, truly drinking in the air. Then she looks toward the camera and smiles.*
[Robin:] "Tis the season for me. Of course, the invigorating feeling of the air in Spring brings out a lot of emotions for everyone. For some it's the adrenaline of outdoor sport and for others it's the thrill of new love. Unfortunately, for many it's getting 'Pot Bellied' at a Memorial Day BBQ followed by a patriotic stomach pump at the emergency room."
*Robin rolls her eyes then takes another deep whiff of the air. She walks to the couch and sits back down.*
[Robin:] "So if you are wondering what feelings the Spring air brings out of me, it's the indulgence and intoxication of power. For five years I would start this season with a promotional trip to Orochi-O's Land. Do you know how it feels to own your own theme park and possess enough money to regularly create entire theme park rides to spite your rivals? Yes, I've matured over the years but I still miss the high I get dreaming up new attractions. I also regret that the 'Jo Ryder's Tunnels of Love' ride was closed down for exceeding state maximum occupancy rules and I couldn't even joke about it since I was in my coma!"
*Robin looks frustrated but bursts into laughter.*
[Robin:] "They had to bring in the jaws of life to remove some patrons who got stuck!"
*Robin takes a few seconds to calm down and refocus*
[Robin:] Unfortunately, we had to sell Orochi-O's Land back in 2011. I imagine it's currently just an abandoned junkyard for drugged up teenagers to sneak into and pin their fever dreams about pirate ghosts on old caretakers.
So if I can't pour millions into state of the art rides, I've decided to to the next best thing."
*With a smirk on her face, Robin stands up and walks over to a large table in the dining room. There is a big white tarp covering it. Robin looks off screen.*
[Robin:] "You two want to do the honors since you helped me make it?"
*Jean Carter and Luke Kisiera walk into the shot and slowly begin removing the tarp.*
[Jean:] "We told Robin we'd help her with this as long as she didn't say anything too mean."
*As the tarp is removed, a mini amusement park made out of paper mâché is revealed*
[Jean:] "I'm not perfect - I have temptations too!"
[Luke:] "She can't resist paper mâché."
*Jean and Luke walk out of the shot*
[Robin:] "Welcome to the grand reopening of Orochi-O's Land...for miniature collectors!"
*The camera pans first to a circular racing track.*
[Robin:] "This is the 'Kurt the dirtbike' racing relay. You are surrounded by the filthiest dirt that we can ship in from the dog-walking park next door. Now, how does you win a dirt bike race in a theme park where everyone is supposed to have a good time? Stay clean. See, the dirt eventually becomes mud due to all the sweaty theme park guests. And if you get covered in mud, you lose. So if someone knocks you off your bike, don't roll around with them. Get up and continue the race on your own terms."
*The camera pans a little bit to the side where we see a soup bowl with a little boat in liquid*
[Robin:] "Now we come to the 'Charles Langford Riverboat Adventure.' Put yourself in the fancy, shiny shoes of Charles Langford. Search for ways to grow your fortune through illicit gambling, highway robbery, and frivolous lawsuits. Ride in the sepia style of the 1820's as you puff on your cigar, sip your whiskey, and slowly float into obsolescence and long overdo retirement for a career full of enabling the sociopathic and mentally feeble. Caution: Don't drink the water on the outside of the boat."
*The camera pans to a large Wall with barbed wire and hand grips shaped like dildos. At the top of the wall is a ceiling made out of glass.*
[Robin:] "This is called 'Ascent of Anarchy' and is dedicated to OG-Joshi's newest heartbreaker, *Robin blows a kiss*... Kathy Queen. Prove your mettle by climbing up a wall covered by well, let's just call them interactive visual elements to stay PG-13. Once you make it to the top, break through the glass ceiling much as Kathy did. Because it's not like she wrestled just to get off and got tired of facing women, right? Right? No, she wanted the challenge of facing all genders as she spread her anarchy up and around the world of professional wrestling. And now she's come to my house."
*Robin pauses for a second and the camera pans out from the table onto her.*
[Robin:] "Maturation has instilled in me the knowledge that you can't avoid the inevitable and the wisdom that you shouldn't try. When someone has it in their mind to challenge you, meet them head on. Don't put it off for ten years and risk the pursuer taking their pent-up frustration and machinations out on others, much as Ruby Moreno did.
Even though I was retired for a long time, I still knew when someone was talking about me. It wasn't always through words though, sometimes behavior can create an homage that is designed to get your attention. Now, Kathy Queen isn't Ruby Moreno. You don't hold any ill will toward me, Kathy. You want to face me, and beat me, for the right reasons. And, arts and crafts hijinks aside, I have nothing but respect for all you have accomplished and the comeback you had to make after your injury. It took me months after my coma to even walk again and that messed with my head in ways I'm sure you felt. Fighting through that to win Championships isn't something that I take lightly.
Plus, you have a goal here. There's no coincidence. You didn't just come to OG-Joshi because it re-opened but because I returned with it. Why did you wait so long to join us? Prolly cause you saw I was affected by Geese's amnesia. And, if I'm being honest, I showed more ring rust against Ruby than I initially cared to admit. So you knew that I couldn't give you my best right away. But once I got my Geese back and had time to train, you arrived with a purpose.
So I say if you're going to the forest to hunt the most dangerous cougar, you start that fire right. That means no slow burn, let's cause a conflagration.
Kathy Queen, I'm challenging you to a match at the next OG-Joshi show.
It's up to Jean when that happens. Maybe it's this summer, maybe it's on December 13th. I think the OG-FPD Anniversary Show belongs to OG-Joshi this year cause UBL up and went base-deep in what is shaping up to be a decade-long league. Talk about learning from past mistakes. But whether it's tomorrow or Christmas day, I want you Kath. Picture this:
*Robin holds her hands up like a marquee sign on an arena*
[Robin:] "The Ace of Spades and Sexual Anarchist vs. The Ace of OG-Joshi and...uh Geese, little help on the new nickname?"
*Geese Walker peeks his head into the shot.*
[Geese:] "Do I have to say it?"
[Robin:] "F*ck yeah you do."
*Geese sighs.*
[Geese:] "The Empress of Edging."
*Robin laughs and Geese pulls his head back.*
[Robin:] "I'm putting that on a T-shirt."
*Jean's voice is heard off screen clearing her throat.*
[Jean:] "And I'm making sure OG-Joshi never sells that T-shirt!"
[Robin:] Fair enough. But I know you're gonna sign the match, Jean. I want it, Kathy wants it, and the fans want it too. Ace vs. Ace, Anarchist vs. Empress, William King's concubine vs. Geese Walker's wanker. I'm looking forward to it, Kathy, I really am. Orochi-O's Land may be behind me, but my true play time has just begun."
*Robin smiles with a gleam in her eye and the camera turns off.*
[Robin:] "Tis the season for me. Of course, the invigorating feeling of the air in Spring brings out a lot of emotions for everyone. For some it's the adrenaline of outdoor sport and for others it's the thrill of new love. Unfortunately, for many it's getting 'Pot Bellied' at a Memorial Day BBQ followed by a patriotic stomach pump at the emergency room."
*Robin rolls her eyes then takes another deep whiff of the air. She walks to the couch and sits back down.*
[Robin:] "So if you are wondering what feelings the Spring air brings out of me, it's the indulgence and intoxication of power. For five years I would start this season with a promotional trip to Orochi-O's Land. Do you know how it feels to own your own theme park and possess enough money to regularly create entire theme park rides to spite your rivals? Yes, I've matured over the years but I still miss the high I get dreaming up new attractions. I also regret that the 'Jo Ryder's Tunnels of Love' ride was closed down for exceeding state maximum occupancy rules and I couldn't even joke about it since I was in my coma!"
*Robin looks frustrated but bursts into laughter.*
[Robin:] "They had to bring in the jaws of life to remove some patrons who got stuck!"
*Robin takes a few seconds to calm down and refocus*
[Robin:] Unfortunately, we had to sell Orochi-O's Land back in 2011. I imagine it's currently just an abandoned junkyard for drugged up teenagers to sneak into and pin their fever dreams about pirate ghosts on old caretakers.
So if I can't pour millions into state of the art rides, I've decided to to the next best thing."
*With a smirk on her face, Robin stands up and walks over to a large table in the dining room. There is a big white tarp covering it. Robin looks off screen.*
[Robin:] "You two want to do the honors since you helped me make it?"
*Jean Carter and Luke Kisiera walk into the shot and slowly begin removing the tarp.*
[Jean:] "We told Robin we'd help her with this as long as she didn't say anything too mean."
*As the tarp is removed, a mini amusement park made out of paper mâché is revealed*
[Jean:] "I'm not perfect - I have temptations too!"
[Luke:] "She can't resist paper mâché."
*Jean and Luke walk out of the shot*
[Robin:] "Welcome to the grand reopening of Orochi-O's Land...for miniature collectors!"
*The camera pans first to a circular racing track.*
[Robin:] "This is the 'Kurt the dirtbike' racing relay. You are surrounded by the filthiest dirt that we can ship in from the dog-walking park next door. Now, how does you win a dirt bike race in a theme park where everyone is supposed to have a good time? Stay clean. See, the dirt eventually becomes mud due to all the sweaty theme park guests. And if you get covered in mud, you lose. So if someone knocks you off your bike, don't roll around with them. Get up and continue the race on your own terms."
*The camera pans a little bit to the side where we see a soup bowl with a little boat in liquid*
[Robin:] "Now we come to the 'Charles Langford Riverboat Adventure.' Put yourself in the fancy, shiny shoes of Charles Langford. Search for ways to grow your fortune through illicit gambling, highway robbery, and frivolous lawsuits. Ride in the sepia style of the 1820's as you puff on your cigar, sip your whiskey, and slowly float into obsolescence and long overdo retirement for a career full of enabling the sociopathic and mentally feeble. Caution: Don't drink the water on the outside of the boat."
*The camera pans to a large Wall with barbed wire and hand grips shaped like dildos. At the top of the wall is a ceiling made out of glass.*
[Robin:] "This is called 'Ascent of Anarchy' and is dedicated to OG-Joshi's newest heartbreaker, *Robin blows a kiss*... Kathy Queen. Prove your mettle by climbing up a wall covered by well, let's just call them interactive visual elements to stay PG-13. Once you make it to the top, break through the glass ceiling much as Kathy did. Because it's not like she wrestled just to get off and got tired of facing women, right? Right? No, she wanted the challenge of facing all genders as she spread her anarchy up and around the world of professional wrestling. And now she's come to my house."
*Robin pauses for a second and the camera pans out from the table onto her.*
[Robin:] "Maturation has instilled in me the knowledge that you can't avoid the inevitable and the wisdom that you shouldn't try. When someone has it in their mind to challenge you, meet them head on. Don't put it off for ten years and risk the pursuer taking their pent-up frustration and machinations out on others, much as Ruby Moreno did.
Even though I was retired for a long time, I still knew when someone was talking about me. It wasn't always through words though, sometimes behavior can create an homage that is designed to get your attention. Now, Kathy Queen isn't Ruby Moreno. You don't hold any ill will toward me, Kathy. You want to face me, and beat me, for the right reasons. And, arts and crafts hijinks aside, I have nothing but respect for all you have accomplished and the comeback you had to make after your injury. It took me months after my coma to even walk again and that messed with my head in ways I'm sure you felt. Fighting through that to win Championships isn't something that I take lightly.
Plus, you have a goal here. There's no coincidence. You didn't just come to OG-Joshi because it re-opened but because I returned with it. Why did you wait so long to join us? Prolly cause you saw I was affected by Geese's amnesia. And, if I'm being honest, I showed more ring rust against Ruby than I initially cared to admit. So you knew that I couldn't give you my best right away. But once I got my Geese back and had time to train, you arrived with a purpose.
So I say if you're going to the forest to hunt the most dangerous cougar, you start that fire right. That means no slow burn, let's cause a conflagration.
Kathy Queen, I'm challenging you to a match at the next OG-Joshi show.
It's up to Jean when that happens. Maybe it's this summer, maybe it's on December 13th. I think the OG-FPD Anniversary Show belongs to OG-Joshi this year cause UBL up and went base-deep in what is shaping up to be a decade-long league. Talk about learning from past mistakes. But whether it's tomorrow or Christmas day, I want you Kath. Picture this:
*Robin holds her hands up like a marquee sign on an arena*
[Robin:] "The Ace of Spades and Sexual Anarchist vs. The Ace of OG-Joshi and...uh Geese, little help on the new nickname?"
*Geese Walker peeks his head into the shot.*
[Geese:] "Do I have to say it?"
[Robin:] "F*ck yeah you do."
*Geese sighs.*
[Geese:] "The Empress of Edging."
*Robin laughs and Geese pulls his head back.*
[Robin:] "I'm putting that on a T-shirt."
*Jean's voice is heard off screen clearing her throat.*
[Jean:] "And I'm making sure OG-Joshi never sells that T-shirt!"
[Robin:] Fair enough. But I know you're gonna sign the match, Jean. I want it, Kathy wants it, and the fans want it too. Ace vs. Ace, Anarchist vs. Empress, William King's concubine vs. Geese Walker's wanker. I'm looking forward to it, Kathy, I really am. Orochi-O's Land may be behind me, but my true play time has just begun."
*Robin smiles with a gleam in her eye and the camera turns off.*