Jo Ryder: "Salutations! ...again!"
Feb 16, 2007 3:05:28 GMT -5
Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 16, 2007 3:05:28 GMT -5
5/9/06
”Where are we?” you ask. Good question – how are you to know the set up of this situation if you’re not told?! Its craziness, I assure you. But, rather than let you sit in the freeform confusion of location, I’ll tell you that we’re on a golf course. In fact, we’re at the green, and we see a little white ball laying mere inches from the hole – the flag reading “13” so, we can put two and seven together to get duck…
Sorry. Little lost there. Two figures enter the scene – one, a shorter woman, red-headed and wearing slacks, and one of those shirts with the alligator above the breast. The other, a larger man black slacks and a collared shirt… above the visor all caddies are ordered to wear, we see black hair with blonde dyed tips poking out, and he carries her clubs over his shoulder… A fitting return for one Miss Jo Ryder, no?
[Jo Ryder:] I feel as if I need to make a speech to mark this, the most momentous of occasions… But, I, I’m so unprepared! What can I say! What possibly could I –
The taller man digs into the golf bag and pulls out a rolled up piece of paper, handing it over to Jo…
[Jo Ryder:] Oh, Eddie, you’re such a dear! Why, this appears to be a prepared speech of some sorts! If you’ll entertain me this one eccentricity, allow me to just… gloss over the important points:
I’m feeling fine, first of all…
Training with the best in the world, Team Ryder’s Phil Buster…
Eddie, perhaps you’ve seen him wrestle before? Yes, PW-Wild’s Grandmaster Champion, Eddie Swan? This champion of champions here will be acting as my personal bodyguard throughout my tenure in OG-FPD’s Joshi division, as there are plenty of women here who seem hell-bent on brutally injuring people. And, alas, with my diminutive stature and fragile state of health, such efforts are necessary…
Generic statements of unsubstantiated threats towards Haley Cannon’s Championship run…
[Eddie:] I think that last one there was directions.
[Jo Ryder:] …Hm. Quite. Pass me my putter, Mr. Swan.
He does, and she trades the putter for the speech.
[Jo Ryder:] Anyway you wish to put it, I have returned to the world of professional (e)wrestling. And, upon my glorious return, I have seemingly squeezed my way in betwixt the obvious latently homo-erotic championship match we would’ve seen with Holly challenging a woman of class, Miss Haley Cannon. I won’t lie to you and say I am without revenge upon my mind – Miss Cannon injured Miss Dizzy Cavuto to claim her OG-FPD Joshi World Championship… and if you are not away, Miss Cavuto is my investment.
Haley, there is no ill will here, but I do not take damage to my investments lightly. You have a championship, I am how in the run to take said championship. Come at me with the force of your will, and I will show you the pain of a new submission designed specifically for my return: The Eclipse Festival.
In the background, Eddie snickers a bit, but regains his composure as she turns about.
[Eddie:] Nah, nothin’, go on.
[Jo Ryder:] …right. In any case, I can not speak of OG-FPD’s Joshi division without speaking of my old rival, Miss Holly Robin Hasseventeennamesanditsreallyhardtokeeptrackofallofthem Walker. Jones. Smith. Earnhardt. Johnson. Junior.
Holly, I have a message for you. You may not like what I am about to say, but, rest assured I MEAN EVERY WORD!
…hear any good jokes lately?
Jo smirks, lines the putt up nonchalantly, and sinks it with a minimal effort, as she looks at the camera triumphantly and walks off, resting the putter on her shoulder as she goes and the scene fades.
”Where are we?” you ask. Good question – how are you to know the set up of this situation if you’re not told?! Its craziness, I assure you. But, rather than let you sit in the freeform confusion of location, I’ll tell you that we’re on a golf course. In fact, we’re at the green, and we see a little white ball laying mere inches from the hole – the flag reading “13” so, we can put two and seven together to get duck…
Sorry. Little lost there. Two figures enter the scene – one, a shorter woman, red-headed and wearing slacks, and one of those shirts with the alligator above the breast. The other, a larger man black slacks and a collared shirt… above the visor all caddies are ordered to wear, we see black hair with blonde dyed tips poking out, and he carries her clubs over his shoulder… A fitting return for one Miss Jo Ryder, no?
[Jo Ryder:] I feel as if I need to make a speech to mark this, the most momentous of occasions… But, I, I’m so unprepared! What can I say! What possibly could I –
The taller man digs into the golf bag and pulls out a rolled up piece of paper, handing it over to Jo…
[Jo Ryder:] Oh, Eddie, you’re such a dear! Why, this appears to be a prepared speech of some sorts! If you’ll entertain me this one eccentricity, allow me to just… gloss over the important points:
I’m feeling fine, first of all…
Training with the best in the world, Team Ryder’s Phil Buster…
Eddie, perhaps you’ve seen him wrestle before? Yes, PW-Wild’s Grandmaster Champion, Eddie Swan? This champion of champions here will be acting as my personal bodyguard throughout my tenure in OG-FPD’s Joshi division, as there are plenty of women here who seem hell-bent on brutally injuring people. And, alas, with my diminutive stature and fragile state of health, such efforts are necessary…
Generic statements of unsubstantiated threats towards Haley Cannon’s Championship run…
[Eddie:] I think that last one there was directions.
[Jo Ryder:] …Hm. Quite. Pass me my putter, Mr. Swan.
He does, and she trades the putter for the speech.
[Jo Ryder:] Anyway you wish to put it, I have returned to the world of professional (e)wrestling. And, upon my glorious return, I have seemingly squeezed my way in betwixt the obvious latently homo-erotic championship match we would’ve seen with Holly challenging a woman of class, Miss Haley Cannon. I won’t lie to you and say I am without revenge upon my mind – Miss Cannon injured Miss Dizzy Cavuto to claim her OG-FPD Joshi World Championship… and if you are not away, Miss Cavuto is my investment.
Haley, there is no ill will here, but I do not take damage to my investments lightly. You have a championship, I am how in the run to take said championship. Come at me with the force of your will, and I will show you the pain of a new submission designed specifically for my return: The Eclipse Festival.
In the background, Eddie snickers a bit, but regains his composure as she turns about.
[Eddie:] Nah, nothin’, go on.
[Jo Ryder:] …right. In any case, I can not speak of OG-FPD’s Joshi division without speaking of my old rival, Miss Holly Robin Hasseventeennamesanditsreallyhardtokeeptrackofallofthem Walker. Jones. Smith. Earnhardt. Johnson. Junior.
Holly, I have a message for you. You may not like what I am about to say, but, rest assured I MEAN EVERY WORD!
…hear any good jokes lately?
Jo smirks, lines the putt up nonchalantly, and sinks it with a minimal effort, as she looks at the camera triumphantly and walks off, resting the putter on her shoulder as she goes and the scene fades.